This is a true story. Career paths for me and my partner preclude me from sharing pics, but I wanted to share the experience with the folks on this site. Thanks for all the inspiration

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My long distance girlfriend (late 20s, petite, fit brunette with dyed hair and an incredible body) accidentally stood me up last February. I had to wait somewhere out in the cold for a while before she realized she forgot our plans. I playfully told her she'd be getting her just desserts. She vaguely knew I was into messy stuff, but has never been so much as pied in the face and thought my insinuation was a joke. So I let her forget about it for a month, but got to planning - if her choices made me cold, I'd make that part of the payback.

I bought three 5-gallon tubs of vanilla ice cream, a full gallon of chocolate syrup, another gallon of thick caramel topping, several cans of cherry pie filling, two cans of whipped cream, a large container of sprinkles, and a banana. I also bought an *extremely* skimpy one-piece yellow bodysuit and a yellow vibrator shaped like a banana . Not to stop there, I also made 15 gallons of cake batter slime and 12 large banana cream pudding pies with graham cracker crusts, and topped each with mountains of cool whip.

When she came to visit me a month later, I told her to strip and put on the bodysuit as soon as she walked in the door. When she asked what this was about, I told her that she would be paying me back for standing me up the month prior. She groaned playfully, pretending not to be into what seemed like something fun and sexy but different. She changed into the too-small outfit, the thong end of the suit riding up her perfect ass and the deep sides of the suit revealing the sides of her perky breasts. Then I led her past the kitchen into my bathroom, where her mouth dropped open and the reality of her situation began to set in: the countertops were completely covered in large banana cream pies, sundae ingredients, and trash cans filled with colorful slime. A stool sat in the middle of the shower. She looked back at me and half laughed a semi-panicked "please" - knowing she was about to get far more than she deserved, almost second guessing her compliance, but a tiny bit turned on by the inevitability that I was going to obliterate her with mess. As someone who had never gotten messy in her life before, she was in for so much more of a shock than she realized.

I pointed to the stool and told her to sit down. Then I tied her hands behind her back so that she couldn't avoid anything, and positioned the stool so that it faced the bathroom mirror. She giggled in complete disbelief - she was going to see every second of her demise (at least, when she was able to see through the mess). I picked up one of the twelve exceptionally overfilled pies - the contents of which were masked beneath the large pile of cool whip topping it - and held it above her waist, standing off to her side. I took a moment to check in:

Me: "how do you feel?"

Her: "I'm, so nervous."

Me: "are you ok with this?"

She grinned playfully and anxiously, pleading with her eyes at the same time as if to say "is this really about to happen to me? You don't have to do this." And yet, I think a very small part of her wanted to know how it felt, wanted me to turn her into a human dessert and then fuck her obliterated body while she moaned in the mess. Returning from what I'm imagining was this flash forward, she pressed the back of her head into my other hand - which was gripping her hair lightly to prevent her from getting away. She responded:

"Yes, you ca-"

I slammed the banana cream pie hard into her face before she finished her sentence, replacing her humored and nervous expression with a thick plaster of whipped cream, banana pudding, and shock. Her hair flew back with the surplus pie filling, which coated the wall of the shower behind her. She gasped loudly as the pie tin fell from her face - the force of the pie hit was almost as surprising as its frigid temperature - then coughed, as her gasp had occurred through a large mouthful of cream and custard she accidentally took by opening her surprised little mouth right as I hit her with the pie. I could barely make out the completely stunned expression on her face as she pushed a small mountain of white cream and yellow pudding out of her stunned and still-open mouth with her tongue. She instinctively tried to wipe her face, but the attempt reminded her that a rope was holding her hands firmly in place behind her back. "Oh my god!" she managed to cough out at the top of her gasp. She shook her head and looked up, seeing - through partially obscured vision - her incredibly hot body in a tiny banana yellow body suit flecked with debris from the impact, and noticed mess falling off her face onto her tits and into her lap - and watching me return with another pie.

"How many are there??"

"Eleven more." SMASH.

[end of part 1]