This is a script I wrote for us to act out one Halloween. My wife played "Laura" and I read all the other parts and deployed the buckets of slime. Feel free to use it like that - we had a lot of fun - or just read it as a story.


**Title:** *One Night in the Haunted Slime House*

**SFX: Footsteps creaking on old wooden floorboards. A door creaks open slowly, and wind whistles through cracks.**

**Laura**: (whispering, uneasy) What was Paul thinking with his message, "Meet me in the old house"? Its the middle of the night? I'm still in my pyjamas for goodness sake. And everyone knows the old house is haunted.

**SFX: Door slams shut behind her with a loud bang.**

**Laura**: (jumps) Ahh! (groans) Oh, terrific. Locked in already. Thanks for nothing, Paul. You'd better be here. "Paul? Paul??"

**SFX: Heavy footsteps approach, echoing through the room. Metallic clinking, as if someone is wearing armor.**

**Sir Eustace**: (booming, authoritative) Mortal! You trespass in my house--Sir Eustace's house! Protector of the Winthrop family, from times gone by.

**Laura**: (nervously) I, uh, didn't mean to trespass exactly I'm just meeting someone here. Hold on, are you a ghost?

**Sir Eustace**: (chuckles darkly) Some might call me so, but I still guard the entry to these hallowed halls. How dare you arrive dressed in such drab and strange clothes?

**Laura**: (defensive) What's wrong with my pyjamas? They're perfectly fine!

**Sir Eustace**: I cannot abide such dullness. (grandly) Prepare yourself, mortal, for a proper garb fit for the house of Winthrop!

**Laura**: (confused) I don't need a makeover-- (gasps) wait, what are you--

**SFX: A strange, wet sloshing sound as a thick wave of green slime pours down over her.**

**Laura**: (shrieking) Oh, that's horrible! It's--it's warm! And sticky! (disgusted) This green goo is everywhere! It's in my hair, on my pyjamas, dripping down my back--

**Sir Eustace**: (proudly) A much better shade of green! A much more respectful colour in which to enter through these portals.

**Laura**: What a mess (shuddering). It's *dripping* down inside my pyjamas. And green really isn't my colour.

**SFX: Sir Eustace's armor clinks as he fades into the distance, his laughter echoing through the hall.**

**Laura**: (mutters, wiping at the slime) I've now officially been slimed by a ghost. Great. But it's only one ghost. Just one ghost. I can do this.

**SFX: Light, delicate footsteps approach. A faint perfume wafts through the air.**

**Lady Mirabelle**: (soft, ghostly) Oh, what a poor sight you are, dearie. Covered in that ghastly green so very unbecoming.

**Laura**: (wary) Oh no, who's there now?

**Lady Mirabelle**: (melodious) I am Lady Mirabelle, spirit of elegance and beauty. I lived in this beautiful house for many years, and welcomed many elegantly dressed visitors. Let me look at you properly.

**Laura**: Oh, really, I'm not dressed for visiting. I'm just meeting someone here I came straight from bed, and then that ghost in the hall with his slime Urgh!

**Lady Mirabelle**: (disapproving) Well really, I've never seen such a dishevelled visitor. And that color does nothing for your complexion. Allow me to bestow a fresher look.

**Laura**: (panicked) Lady Mirabelle, no--no more slime, I'm good!

**Lady Mirabelle**: (softly insistent) Nonsense, darling. You need a touch of refinement.

**SFX: Another wet splat as blue slime pours down, coating Laura's shoulders and soaking into her clothing.**

**Laura**: (gasps, shivering) Oh no! Not again! It's warm, sticky and *blue?!* Its running down my legs - I can feel it between my toes.

**Lady Mirabelle**: (satisfied) A soothing sky blue, for elegance and class. You'll thank me later.

**Laura**: (sarcastic) Oh, I feel *so classy,* dripping in greeny-blue sludgy soaked pyjamas. And--(sighs) my pyjamas were blue to start with!

**SFX: Lady Mirabelle's laughter fades as she floats away.**

**Laura**: (resigned) Two ghosts down, slimed in two different colors (sighs) Well, maybe blue and green go together? Like some terrible bruise? I'd better go on and see if I can find Paul. (glumly) Is he going to pay for this!

**SFX: A loud, jolly laugh from a nearby room.**

**Mr. Wiggins**: (booming, cheerful) Why, my dear, what a lovely surprise. You look very colorful. But why so down? Definitely looking a little blue. Lacking a certain *brightness!*, if I may say so.

**Laura**: (groans) Oh, great. And you are?

**Mr. Wiggins**: (proudly) Mr. Wiggins! Spirit of laughter, merriment, and joy! And you, my dear, could use a little splash of sunshine.

**Laura**: (panicked) Please, no splashing! I'm already slimy enough. It's horrible - my hair is ruined, my pyjamas are soaked, and I'm paddling in slippery goo.

**Mr. Wiggins**: (chuckling) Don't be glum, dear! You're about to *shine*!

**SFX: Another thick slosh as warm, sticky yellow slime pours down onto her, coating her with a vibrant golden hue.**

**Laura**: (sputtering) Oh! It's hot, and sticky, and *yellow!* (gags) Like melted butter or custard?

**Mr. Wiggins**: (delighted) A cheerful yellow to bring out your joy! You're radiant!

**Laura**: (dryly) I look like a particularly messy dessert. Thanks for the *radiance,* Mr. Wiggins. Just what I needed.

**SFX: Mr. Wiggins's laughter fades as he exits, his footsteps echoing.**

**Laura**: (mutters, dripping) This night just keeps getting better and better. Where next in this cursed place. My feet are sticking to the floor they're so slimy. Uh oh, what's in this room? It's so dark, and the air feels cold and sinister

**SFX: Deep, slow footsteps approach, echoing heavily. A cold draft sweeps through the room.**

**Laura**: (nervously) Hello? Who's there? I can barely see you in the dark. Is that a black cloak?

**The Dark Figure**: (darkly) I am the master of this house, the Lord of Darkness. Who is it who wishes to join me in the blackness?

**Laura**: (groaning) I'm Laura. But I really don't need to join you in blackness. I'm just visiting. And besides, I'm not sure these pyjamas can hold any more slime!

**The Dark Figure**: (sinister) I say who joins me in the darkness. And you are far too vibrant. You need blackness

**Laura**: (trying to back away) Blackness? No, really, I'm *good* for colours! I don't need any--whoa!

**SFX: A final, thick splash as warm black slime pours down, covering Laura from head to toe.**

**Laura**: (shrieks) Oh! Oh no! It's it's thick and sticky and feels like molasses? (struggles) It's ruined my hair, and now it's running down inside my pyjamas! How am I ever going to get clean?

**The Dark Figure**: (satisfied) A rich ebony. You are now welcome to this place of darkness.

**Laura**: (sighs, shivering) Darkness, indeed. Completely coated in slime. (mutters) I look like a *swamp monster.*

**SFX: The Dark Figure's footsteps fade. Silence fills the room for a beat. Then more footsteps approach--this time human, familiar.**

**Laura**: Paul? Is that you?

**Paul**: (amused) Laura? Is that you? I hardly recognised you?

**Laura**: (sarcastic) Very funny, Paul. This is all *your* fault, you know! My pyjamas are basically ruined, and I look like some kind of creature from the black lagoon.

Paul: (awed) I'm just (chuckling) I'm impressed. Blue, green, yellow, black you look amazing.

Laura: (shivering) Amazing? I look like a slimy, gooey mess!

Paul: (softly) But a beautiful mess. C'mon, there's something irresistible about it.

Laura: (laughing, surprised) Wait--irresistible? In all this mess?

Paul: (grinning) You're slimy, colorful, slippery I can't help it, it works for me.

Laura: (smiling, playful) Really? Well, in that case

SFX: Slime squelching as Laura pulls Paul close, the sound of them both laughing as they tumble down together into the gooey mess.

Paul: (laughing, gasping) Alright, this trick turned out better than I expected.

Laura: (giggling) Best haunted house night ever.

SFX: Their laughter fades, the ghosts' faint chuckles echoing one last time as the scene fades.