(Story request for gungey_tedx671)

Ted had been somewhat surprised when his girlfriend Jenny had said she'd managed to scout some tickets to a late night television show. He didn't even think she'd even seen the show, in fact he only saw it once or twice and that was only because it was on after the football. It appeared to be a grown up version of a kids show with a mixture of live music, comedic sketches, competitions and celebrity interviews all bound together by two cheesy presenters whose names Ted didn't know. It wasn't something he'd have thought to book himself but it might be fun to see live.

Jenny suggested they make a weekend of it. So, they had travelled up earlier in the day and booked into a three star hotel. Before the show they'd decided to enjoy a meal in the hotel's own restaurant which had proved to be something of a mistake. The portion sizes were inversely proportional to the prices and what was even worse, nothing was served on a proper plate: the starters came on pieces of slate and the main course on a wooden platter. They forwent desserts and headed out, grabbing a burger from a nearby van on the way.

"That's better" Ted said.

The show was being filmed in a former theatre and it looked very grand from the outside which was good as they had to spend quite a while admiring it as they queued up. Finally the doors opened and they were let in to find their seats. Inside the place was pretty big and there must have been capacity for about a thousand people. Jenny had done amazingly well with the tickets Ted realised as they were on the front row right in front of the stage. They settled down as they waited for the show to start, luckily this time they didn't have to wait too long.

First up was the warm up act, a middle-aged comedian who Ted vaguely remembered seeing on an old panel show. He spent about fifteen minutes entertaining the audience and getting them in the right mood for the actual show. Most of the jokes were fairly old but he delivered them with style. The two presenters then made a brief appearance to thunderous applause before heading backstage whilst the audience were shown the highlights from the previous week's recording.

It started with a performance from an up and coming boy band followed by a sketch with the two presenters playing clueless politicians. There was an interview with a well known starlet plugging her latest film and then came a competition where an obnoxious gym instructor lost against a school dinner lady and was thrown into a gunge pit as a forfeit. Ted liked the odd prank or two but really didn't know where they found people willing to humiliate themselves on TV, he certainly couldn't imagine himself volunteering. The highlight reel ended with some shots of the cheering audience and a final performance from the band.

"Ladies and gentlemen..." the PA system began to announce.

The theatre lights briefly dimmed before the curtains opened to reveal four scantily clad young women gyrating and miming along to a backing track. Ted initially thought it was part of a sketch and was wondering what the joke was when he noticed the rest of the audience were screaming and applauding the women. It seemed they were yet another new girl group he'd never heard of before. He sat back and watched their performance, it wasn't exactly his kind of music but Jenny looked to be enjoying them.

Next up was a sketch featuring the show's two presenters as bumbling thieves trying and failing to steal candy from their celebrity guest who was dressed as a baby. Ted really didn't think it was all that funny but laughed along with the rest of the audience. On the plus side he did finally learn the names of the presenters; the handsome but annoying man was called Will whilst the equally irritating but beautiful woman was called Molly. Ted suspected that he'd probably forget their names by the end of the evening.

"Enjoying the show?" Jenny asked.

Ted smiled at his girlfriend as the sketch ended. The warmup man made a reappearance to amuse the audience whilst the cameras stopped recording and the presenters and their guest went to change out of their costumes. Ted had to admit that the comedian was probably the best part of the show and was really starting to enjoy him when someone's phone went ping. Bloody typical thought Ted, what kind of idiot attended a televised show and forgot to turn their mobile off. It was then that he realised that Jenny had bent down and was hunting in her handbag for something.

Jenny retrieved her phone and after unlocking it spent a few moments staring at it before starting to type madly upon it. Ted couldn't quite believe Jenny had responded to a text message whilst in the studio but at least it wasn't during the actual recording. They certainly wouldn't want to get thrown out. Luckily, no one else seemed to have noticed as Jenny finished with her phone and slid it back into her bag. She gave Ted an apologetic shrug before settling back to continue watching the show.

The comedian disappeared once again and Molly the female host returned to the stage to announce that not only was competition time but that the two contestants were actually in the theatre. The lights suddenly dimmed and a pair of spotlights began scanning randomly across the watching audience. Ted recalled seeing the highlights from the previous show and wondered what kind of fool would volunteer for such humiliation. Of course it could be that one or both of the contestants had been brought to the theatre under false pretences and didn't know they'd be playing; but what kind of idiots would be so naive.

"Let's welcome Ted and Jenny" Molly called out.

In all his musing Ted hadn't been playing attention to the spotlights and now they were illuminating both him and his girlfriend. He couldn't quite believe it and turned in disbelief to Jenny only to see a nervous smile playing upon her lips. Instantly he knew he'd been set up but before he could do or say anything a couple of stagehands appeared beside them. Ted and Jenny were plucked from the audience and escorted over to a short staircase at the side of the stage. The stagehands directed them up the steps which lead not to the stage but instead to the wings.

They were met by a young woman who introduced herself as the assistant stage manager. She instructed them to place their jackets, shoes and valuables into a pair of nearby lockers before going to join Molly onstage. Ted was hesitant about doing so but Jenny had already removed her jacket and high-heels. So with little other choice he did likewise, placing them in the locker. He also removed his wallet and phone from out of his pockets, took off his watch, and placed them all in the locker before slamming it shut.

"Let's welcome back our two contestants" the female host stated.

Ted somewhat reluctantly followed Jenny on to the stage to be greeted by Molly the show's female host. She disclosed that Jenny had been in contact with them regarding an ongoing dispute between the pair. Molly mentioned that Ted was always complaining about Jenny being untidy, leaving cups, dirty plates and even her clothes all over the house. Jenny on the other hand was getting a little tired of Ted's constant penchant for pranks. Ted recognised an element of truth to both accusations even if they had been hugely exaggerated.

Molly went on to elaborate on some of the pranks Ted had pulled on Jenny. It was all fairly innocuous stuff such as whoopie cushions hidden down the sofa, putting salt in the sugar bowl and sticking fake spiders all around the house. These elicited the odd chuckle or snicker from the audience. Luckily Jenny hadn't told them about the time he'd covered the toilet set with clingfilm without realising that her parents would be arriving shortly. That had been a messy experience for all concerned and thereafter he'd reverted back to just the whoopie cushions and fake spiders.

With the details of the dispute revealed Molly went on to explain the format of the contest which would consist of four rounds starting with a series of general knowledge questions. She also announced that the losing contestant after each round would suffer a forfeit; namely that they would have to remove an item of clothing. This came as a shock to Ted and apparently to Jenny as well as both had only a couple of items of clothing on other than their underwear. Ted a smart shirt and trousers and Jenny a blouse and skinny jeans.

"So on to round one" Molly declared.

Ted and Jenny were alternately asked three questions. Both got their first question correct. Ted got his second question wrong although Jenny got her's right. And lastly both got their final question of the round wrong. That left Jenny with a one point lead and Ted with the forfeit of one item of clothing. He chose to take off his shirt which he did much to the amusement of Molly, Jenny and about half the audience.

The next round was a solo round for Ted. A couple of stagehands wheeled out a board upon which were written various names as Brown Recluse and Yellow Commodore. Five of these were types of spiders and the others were fakes. Ted had just a minute to identify all the real ones for two points and to take the lead. He quickly identified four actual types of spiders but struggled to find the final one as the time continued to count down. Finally with just seconds to spare he found the fifth spider and won the round. This time it was Jenny who had to remove an item of clothing. She took off her jeans to reveal her toned legs which provoked some whoots and wolf-whistles.

"Thank you" Jenny responded sarcastically.

Ted was glad to be leading in the contestant last; not only because he would then get to avoid whatever messy date awaited the loser but also because he had always been incredibly competitive. Jenny was equally driven when is came to competitions and whilst Ted didn't want to see his girlfriend get completely humiliated on national television she had kind of brought this upon herself. Afterall, it had been Jenny who'd contacted the show and arranged for them to appear on it. And she had done it all without consulting Ted.

The next round consisted of more general knowledge questions. This time they both got their first question right and their second question wrong. That meant that Ted led by a single point as they were asked the final questions of the round. Jenny got hers right but Ted got his wrong so they finished the round on level points and Ted was forced to remove his trousers leaving him standing on stage in just his boxer shorts. He felt very self conscious especially when a women wolf-whistle at him which caused the theatre audience to break out in laughter.

The final round consisted of a physical challenge for Jenny. A bedroom was assembled on the stage and littered with dirty laundry. She was given a minute to collect all the clothing whilst being attached to a bungee cord that kept pulling her backwards. Despite her best efforts she failed the challenge and ended up having to remove her blouse. This meant that not only was her lacy bra was on show but also her matching thong panties which along with her cute bottom had previously been hidden by her long blouse.

"And now for the conclusion of our contest" Molly announced.

The audience cheered as a tank full of think green gunge was brought out followed by a ramp upon which there were a pair of seats. The seats were on rails and lead directly to the tank. Ted and Jenny were asked to take a seat each as they prepared for the final round and a messy endings for one of them. Molly asked if Jenny wanted a showercap to protect her beautiful long blonde hair if she lost but Jenny waved the offer aside, confident of victory. Ted was less confident but as he had a shaven head he certainly had no need for a shower cap.

With the scores level Molly asked a tiebreaker to determine the winner. Neither knew the answer so she was forced to asked another question which Ted and Jenny simultaneously shouted out the right answer to. So, she declared the contest a draw with the pair winning not only a fortnight holiday to Italy but also a robot vacuum cleaner and an encyclopedia of spiders. The audience applauded the prizes but it was clear they were disappointed not to see one of them in the gunge. But, their disappointment was short lived as Molly grabbed the lever that released the chairs.

"And as it's a draw, you both also lose!" she exclaimed.

Both chairs flew down the ramp side by side stopping immediately before the tank and catapulting their passengers face first into the tank. Ted hit the gunge a fraction of a second before Jenny and instantly sunk to the bottom. It was wet, cold and somewhat sticky and he struggled for a moment to escape from the depths of the tank. When he did he was coated in green gunk and had to wipe it from his face and head before he could hear and see again. He was embarrassed to hear the laughter of the audience directed at him but also alarmed not to see any sign of Jenny.

Suddenly Jenny emerged from the gunge over the far side of the tank. Ted noticed that she appeared to be shaking although wasn't sure if that was from the cold or something else. He carefully made his way over to her, only to realise that she was laughing. She turned to face him and held out her arms for a hug with a big smile upon her face. He responded to her unspoken command and went to embrace her, only to slip over and fall back into the gunge again. Jenny took pity on him and came to his rescue, pulling him up and giving him a hug as the audience cheered and applauded the pair.

The end.