I. CHARMS CLASS

As we discovered in our last session, Professor Boris Shaghorn lectured, making oneself invisible is one of the trickiest spells to pull off. Now that you have had a chance to practice its technique, who would like to demonstrate for the class? Shaghorn surveyed the classroom full of Advanced Charms students: so many young minds thirsting to drink at the fount of knowledge; so eager to expand the understanding and responsible use of magic; so full of promise and talent; so many delectable tits. He so adored the nubile young witches in his class that in his mind, the boys were already invisible. And his favorite student of all was Ninth Year Hymenea Gunger, who combined beauty and brains in a most desirable package. On top of everything else, she showed a genuine interest in his class and could alwaysalwaysbe relied upon to participate. If the other students saw her as a striving know-it-all, it was of no concern to him.

True to form, only one hand shot up at Shaghorns invitation. He made a show of scanning the room and said, predictably, Miss Gunger?

Hymenea Gunger was counting on this. She sat with her classmates Gary Splotter and Wrong Wienersley. Everyone at Hogwallow Academy of Magical Manipulation knew Gary Splotter, the heroic boy wizard who had reached tenth level before he was even born and had the scar to prove it, and who had ever since his arrival at school faced a yearly test in the form of an evil wizard; or an evil dragon; or an evil wizards diary; or a hall of mirrors that wasnt really evil, just misunderstood. Everybody also knew Wrong Wienersley, but for different reasons. Wrong was the red-headed class clown who followed Gary on his adventures. Sometimes he was called Garys spear-carrier or Garys wand caddy or Mrs. Gary Splotter, but so far no one had come up with anything worse than being called Wrong Wienersley.

Hymenea strode to the head of the classroom. She wore the school uniform, a plaid skirt and dress shirt with a witchs cape that had come from CostCoven like everyone elses (although like all the cool kids at Hogwallow she bought her trousseau at Madame Merkins, an exclusive boutique in Orthogon Alley).

Hymenea waved her wand and said, Invisibilus! But instead of turning her invisible, the spell made her outer clothes disappear! She was wearing a wispy lace bra and panty set along with stockings and garters, one of Madame Merkins popular creations. She gasped and turned red, attempting unsuccessfully to cover herself with her hands. The class giggled and hooted, and old Professor Shaghorn suddenly felt a deep commitment to the pursuit of learning.

Miss Gunger, he said, peering over the tops of his glasses, whatever has happened to your uniform?

Sorry, Professor, I think my wand has been squibbed, Hymenea said breathlessly, using the wizard term for pranking a fellow student.

Squibbed, you say? The dirty old wheels in Shaghorns mind turned. Well see about that. Miss, ah, von Teton, would you examine Miss Gungers wand? He had singled out a busty eighth-year Slipperin girl with jet black hair and a spiteful expression. She stood and distastefully took the wand from Hymenea, who had found nothing to cover herself with.

Well? Venerea von Teton held the wand at arms length. What should I look for?

Maybe you should try the invisibility spell that tripped up Miss Gunger, said Professor Shaghorn, licking his lips.

Venerea rolled her eyes but complied. Invisibilus! Sure enough, her uniform disappeared and the whole class got a look at her green lace bra and panties. A silver key hung from a chain between her breasts and a dragon tattoo writhed and breathed flame on one of her thick, creamy thighs.

I told you, said Hymenea. Give it back, Venerea, I think I can reverse the spell.

Oh, no, said Venerea in a huff. Take this, Miss Smarty-Pants! Splaticus! This was an attack spell, but Venerea was still holding Hymeneas squibbed wand, so she herself was splattered with dripping cream pies that appeared from nowhere. Her bra sagged with the weight of whipped cream and crust, bringing her ample bosoms close to expulsion. The magical dragon tattoo lapped up the pie happily. The class oohed.

Venerea wiped pie out of her eyes and grabbed her own wandshe wasnt going to give up yet! Hersheyus! A thick stream of liquid chocolate sprayed from her wand like a hose; she painted Hymenea with it from her curly hair to her high heeled pumps and all points in between. Hymenea tried helplessly to deflect it but she still didnt have a functioning wand.

I could use a little help! she said to Gary, but Wrong took it as an open invitation and whipped his wand out.

I cast Ottos Irresistible Dance! he announced; Hymenea began swaying seductively as chocolate dripped onto the floor. Wrong waved his wand like a conductors baton and she began bumping and grinding to his rhythm.

How does this help me? she said while thrusting her pelvis back and forth.

I thought it would distract Venerea. . . . Slower, slower, Wrong murmured. Beads of perspiration dotted his forehead.

Venerea might have been thrown for a moment, but she recovered quickly. A few zig-zag motions of her wand later, and Hymenea, still dancing, was plastered with thick custard pies to her face and chest. Give me that! Hymenea snatched Wrongs wand, interrupting the dancing spell.

Immobilus! Suddenly, Venerea was stuck fast in a puddle of black treacle, which is like molasses, but British. She tried to step out of it, but the sticky puddle held her stilettos like glue; her bare foot came out of the shoe and she stepped gracelessly into the treacle. Every move she made to free herself stuck her more tightly.

Let me go! Venerea shouted. She started to wind up another spell, but suddenly her bra slipped down, releasing her round breasts, slick with melting cream. What the The straps tightened around her arms, pinning them to her sides. Gary appeared at her side, holding the straps, and plucked the wand from her grasp.

Hymenea readied a spell that would really let her have it, but was interrupted by Professor Shaghorn. Bravo, Gary! Ten points to Stiffendor House for your excellent use of the Invisibilus spell, he said. I think, he continued with real regret, we had best let you two sort this out on the dueling grounds. And Miss Gunger, get that wand fixed. But not too soon, he mentally added.

Ill get you, Gunger, Venerea shouted as Hymenea and her friends left the classroom. Several Slipperin housemates were trying to unstick her feet without success.

Cor, some people cant take a joke, said Wrong wonderingly, out in the hallway.

Well, look at me! Im a mess, too, Hymena replied. Gary said nothing, discreetly averting his gaze, while Wrong stared openly at her pie-splattered, nearly nude body.

I dont know if this was just an ordinary squibbing, she continued, pressing closely to Gary. I think it could be something more sinistera Slipperin plot, or maybe even You Know Who. She thrust her chocolate-enhanced cleavage into Garys face. Perhaps we should investigate . . . together?

Gary nervously wiped chocolate from his glasses. Uh, my scar is hurting again, he said, covering his forehead with one hand. I think Vandecamp must be somewhere nearby. With that he hurried away. Hymenea watched him retreat, openly mystified.

Wrong sidled up to her. I could help you investigate, he said. I dont really have to go to Magical Thinking today.

Arent you repeating Magical Thinking? Hymenea replied coldly.

Exactly. Im one step ahead of everyone else in class.

No, thank you. I need to get cleaned up and see Professor MacGargamel.

+++

Later, Gary and Wrong were talking over the events of the day. I cant explain it, said Gary, I just get nervous and tongue-tied around her. Its like someone cast a Nervosa spell on me.

I dont know what youre worried about, answered Wrong. She obviously wants you to snog her.

What does that mean?

I dont know, I was hoping you could tell me. But Im pretty sure she wants you to fuck her, too.

I think Im more afraid of that than I am of facing Vandecamp.

Well, obviously. Youve fought him, what, seven times?

Eight if you count the handprints he left in the sidewalk outside the Alchemy wing. Gary shuddered at the memory.

Wrong changed the subject, as he often did when the conversation came around to Garys boring magical grudges. Boy, whoever squibbed Hymenea today did a bang-up job, he said admiringly. Squibbing, or pranking, was something his older brothers Gene and Dean used to excel at, before they left school and went into the novelty business. I wish I could pull one over on her. I think I might be able to use a Wienersley Portable Peephole on her and get a better look.

If you spent as much time practicing your spells as you do trying to squib people, you could just become invisible and watch the girls in their changing room, like I do, said Gary.

Do you think its weird there are so many invisible people watching us get naked all the time? wondered Wrong.

I guess you get used to it, said Gary. I mean, every time you masturbate there are ghosts watching you. Its the same thing, isnt it?

+++

Geneva MacGargamel was the head of Stiffendor, the house that Hymenea, Gary and Wrong belonged to. She was sort of a den mother to them, although with her withered, vulture-like appearance it was hard to imagine her mothering anything that wasnt already embalmed. MacGargamel had a reputation as a wise woman and an expert matchmaker. It was a tragic irony that she had ended up alone. Everyone in the school knew of her unrequited love for Headmaster Apple Dumplinggang, but only the two of them knew about the conversation they had had years before. MacGargamel had poured her heart out (a mistake she would never make again) only to be told curtly by the Headmaster that she wasnt his type. Now she threw herself into the lives of her students, living through them.

Hymenea, still wiping chocolate from behind her ears, was describing the events of the afternoon. I just wish there was some way to get him off the fence, she finished plaintively.

Professor MacGargamel had already given Hymeneas problem some thought. What is the one thing that Gary finds irresistible?

Well . . . He certainly hops to it whenever You Know Who is involved.

Exactly. Mister Splotter is a born detective. He wont be satisfied unless hes solving a mystery. Appeal to his needs and you will have his undivided attention.

I thought squibbing my own wand would get his interest, but it backfired completely. All it did was give Wrong an excuse to drool over me.

I heard. It sounds like you came on too strong. As Headmaster Dumplinggang says, Restraint is the key. Be patient, and opportunities will present themselves.

Hymenea brightened up. Thank you, Professor! You always know just what to say.

And one more thing, MacGargamel added as Hymenea got up to leave. Dont waste time making enemies like the von Teton girl. There are enough real dangers about without adding more.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .