Fiona's Charity Soccer Challenge (in the mud).
The Social Committee at the office where Fiona worked organised a series of events throughout the year, and the summer theme park outing was the first time that Fiona had joined in with any of them. Now that she was together with Tony, she felt so much more confident and outgoing.
A few weeks later in the summer, the committee had another event planned. This was an annual soccer match between two branches of the company, and members of staff at both sites were invited to make up the teams. It was not taken at all seriously as a sporting event, both teams were to be mixed, and there was usually a good turn out of spectators from the office, to watch the fun. Everyone enjoyed a picnic on the day, and home- made food was sold in order to raise funds for charity. Fiona told Tony about it, and he was keen for her to take part. Fiona and Jenny put their names down for the team together. The week before, one of the committee asked Fiona if Tony would like to play, because only three gentlemen from the office had their names down. Tony readily agreed.

The Friday before, the members of the team were each provided with a loan of soccer boots and kit, acquired from a local amateur team. It was made of a very light, silky type of synthetic fabric. The black shorts were knee length and far too big. Fiona tried on the sheer white shirt, it was loose and baggy but felt alright when she tucked it into her shorts. Fiona thought that the outfit would ideal for swimming in, but she wasn't too sure about playing football.
The committee had hired the use of a pitch at the local park, where Fiona had first encountered Tony a few months before, at the end of The Last Lap. The city's summer festival had being going on in the park all week, and the day before the match the park was busy with contractors clearing away all the marquees and equipment. Unfortunately, the weather all week had been awful, with torrential, continual rain nearly every day. Attendance at the festival was badly affected, the park was waterlogged and the ground was heavily churned up by vehicles and thousands of feet. The council laid down hundreds of wooden boards on the grass, which helped, but the day before the match these we all taken away.

The morning of the match brought more rain, thunder and lightning. By noon, the park management declared all the pitches to be unplayable for that day, but unfortunately both teams from Fiona's company were by that time already well on their way. Most of the players had got changed at home or on the bus, and when they arrived there was the sound of many football boots clicking and clacking on the ground. This sound stopped as soon as they stepped out onto the grass, the boots sunk into the mud and water oozed over the sides as they picked their way across. Then the committee and captains were told of the position and they decided to abandon the match. Some of the spectators had started to arrive, bringing picnic baskets and produce to sell, so they moved away from the sodden playing ground into the main part of the park. There were picnic tables here and a good covered parking area, which was ideal to use for laying out the food. Next to this part of the park was the main arena which had just been cleared the day before. It was the lowest lying part of the park. The ground looked saturated, there were several pools of water standing and the grass mostly had turned into mud. There were several deep tractor tracks across the ground, these were dark brown and full of water.

Several members of both teams had already gone home. A few others knocked a ball about together in the corner of the car park. The council official arrived down with some papers to sign, to confirm the cancellation of the pitch hire and to return the fee. The captains agreed that this should be donated to the day's charity, rather than be returned to the committee funds. "I'm sorry about today, I can see that your people have already made a big effort." he said. "But we really can't let lots of feet on that grass, or it will all end up in this state!" he indicated towards the main arena. "This is the only part of the park available today, I'm afraid!"

"Do you mean that we can play over here?" one of the captains asked, looking the same way. "You can do what you like there," he replied, "But you'll have a job to kick a ball a ball far in that!"
Several of the teams had gathered around, and there were mumblings that a kick about on the grass might just be worth a try. "It'll be a bit muddy out there!" one of the players noted. "I think that we'll get completely filthy!" another added. A couple of players from the opposing side, a lady and gentleman, walked a few yards out, squelching into the thick mud, and into the first of the many puddles. They wore red and white striped shirts and white shorts, not as long as Fiona's. The shorts were above their knees. "We'll not keep our feet or be able to run!" They announced. "It'll just be a mud slide! Is anyone game for a laugh?" There was laughing and a general sense of approval.

Fiona was apprehensive. Tony had given Fiona yet another silky bra and panties set, which she had on, and she didn't want the mud to soak through her soccer kit and ruin the new lingerie! She said that she would just watch the game instead, but all the other players insisted that she join in! "It's just a bit of fun!" the team captain said, and Tony also encouraged her. The players were divided into two teams of six. "It doesn't matter what colour shirts you are," said the captain. "No-one will be able to tell the difference in a minute!"

Fiona took Tony's hand and they stepped off the tarmac. Their boots squelched deep into the mud, it was really hard to keep one's balance. "There's a drier bit over here!" someone shouted. "We don't want a drier bit", someone else replied, "This is mud football!"" What about here then?" another voice said. There was a large area, about twenty yards wide, between two tractor tracks, which was simply a pool of water. The two captains looked at each other and shook their heads. OK then, folks. Jumpers for goalposts!

Everyone else had gathered at the side of the car park nearest to them. There were about forty people watching. Come on, dive in! someone shouted. We want our money's worth!
Two spare footballs appeared, and these were used to make a goal. They agreed for everyone to take a quick turn at playing in goal. It seemed that the goalmouth was right at the deepest part of the muddy puddle.

It was impossible to pass the ball, unless by just kicking it in the air. It was almost impossible to run. Tony tried, and immediately ended up on the ground. Some of the men tried to play properly, and within two minutes half of them were almost unrecognizable, their sodden, filthy kit almost hanging off them. The lady in the red striped shirt slid over, and fell again as soon as she tried to get up. Her shorts turned a squalid grey and her wetness shone from her shirt. One could barely make out the stripes, on the parts that were muddy. Fiona and Jenny had not touched the ball yet, and were just trying to keep upright. Fiona could feel the cold water running over the top of her boots. Her socks were wet through. "Come on, lets' give everyone a game!" the captain shouted. Jenny, your turn in goal! Jenny tip toed over to the goalmouth. She looked down at her shiny shorts, which reached over her knees, and her spotless white shirt. "Well, here we go!" she thought.

The captain threw the ball at Fiona's feet, dirty drops splashed over her socks. "Come on, Fiona, you haven't had a go yet!" he said. "I'm just keeping out of the mud!" Fiona replied. "No chance!" someone shouted, "Get stuck in!"" Come on Fiona, I've sponsored you!" a voice called from the crowd. Fiona tried to run three paces and took a big swing at the ball. It skidded through the water, sending up little jets of spray. The ball almost reached Jenny in goal. Fiona slipped slightly, she almost toppled but ended up with two hands on the ground, supporting herself. She managed to keep her body off the ground! She glanced down at herself, her kit was still clean!
She straightened herself up, her hands were dripping with thin, runny mud. She wiped them on her socks. Jenny bent down, picked up the ball and threw it again at Fiona. Tony tried to run in for it, but again he measured himself on the ground. Fiona did not try to run up this time, but she took a big swing at the ball and this time she connected with it well. Jenny jumped a couple of paces to where the ball was landing, and then slid forward into the mud on her knees, catching the ball at the same time. Everyone cheered. Jenny looked down at her shorts, there was a thick line of slime, covering the first two inches of each leg, and they were splattered all over.The captain had a shot next, using his strength to send the ball skimming over the surface towards goal. Jenny was getting into the spirit of things now, she half crouched down and then jumped sideways after the ball, arms outstretched. There was a splash as she hit the water, and she felt the cold mud all down her legs and body. She caught hold of the ball and quickly got up. One side of her was completely coated in liquid mud, and one could not see where her shorts ended and where her shirt began. The mud dripped off her and dropped down her legs in little lumps. Her other side was clean."It's a mudbath!" someone said. "At least you don't hurt yourself, diving on the ground!" Jenny said laughing. They all took turns to fire in shots, none of which were very hard, because of the conditions underfoot. Jenny made a couple of catches, a couple of stops with her feet, and she dived to each side a couple of times more. She was completely covered in mud, her shorts were sodden and hung down an inch further than before. There was mud on her face and mud in her hair. She was laughing. Several of the men took a turn in goal. Soon everyone looked just like Jenny, there was not a clean bit of kit left and no-one could tell what colour anyone's shirt or shorts had been before.

Except for Fiona. Now Fiona had kicked the ball a couple of times more, but not very well, because she was trying so hard to keep on her feet. The captain asked Fiona if she wanted to have a go in goal, and while she hesitated to reply, Jenny said that she would go in again. So Fiona stayed on her feet, and apart from her socks, Fiona stayed perfectly clean.
Enthusiasm for the kick around waned, everyone (except Fiona) was wet and starting to get cold. Players started drifting off to the picnic area, and thinking about how to clean themselves up. There was a huge cheer as each came off the field. Jenny pretented to pose and model in her muddy kit, and everyone laughed. Fiona walked off a couple of feet apart from Tony, he was so dirty that he could almost have been anyone. Then there was a collective ahhhh sound. "What!" someone shouted, "No mud!"" Fiona hasn't been in the mud!"" Come on Fiona, it was mud football!"" Come on Fiona, you were sponsored!"" Fiona's still clean!"

Fiona looked embarrassed. I did my best! she protested. I couldn't move!
Go back and jump in the mud! someone shouted.
The team captain and three of the male players congregated around Fiona. The captain had taken his shirt off, but even his bare chest was streaked with brown mud. The other three were caked with it. Now this is how you play football in the mud! The captain said to her. Do you look like you have played football in the mud? My boots and my socks are all wet! replied Fiona.
Someone had attached a hose from the tap in a nearby toilet block, and some of the players were standing under the hose, rinsing off the worst of the mud. The colours of their shirts and shorts started to reappear, as the coats of mud began to run off. Jenny joined the queue there with half a dozen others.

Fiona never went in goal! one of the players added. Jenny went back in for her. I think that Fiona should still go in goal! There's no point in me going back now, Fiona argued,we have all finished!
Fiona decided to try to gain some some sympathy, she looked coy and sheepish and looked down at her clean white shirt and shiny black shorts. But I've never played football before, she said, I didn't know that you had to get dirty, and I'm only a girl! There was little sympathy shown and a general sound of muttering. Just jump about a bit in the mud, someone said. Just roll about a bit! What does Tony think? someone asked. Tony stepped forward. It was great fun, Tony said. He said he was sure that Fiona would not let them down. And I'm a lifeguard, so I will pull Fiona out to safety, even if she does have to back into the mud! The was a mumble of approval all round.

Fiona walked to the table, took the piece of paper with the list of names, and started writing on the back. What are doing? asked the Captain. I'm writing a doctors note! replied Fiona. Everyone fell about laughing. But you're not a doctor! No, but I've been to medical college, said Fiona. The captain was taken aback for a minute. I didn't know that you went to medical college! he was genuinely surprised. Yes, said Fiona, I cleaned the tables in the canteen at the medical college, two summers ago! Everyone laughed again.

The captain then told Fiona that everyone agreed that was only fair if she went back into the mud, as everyone else had done. Tony is coming with you, he added, and Tony says it is great fun and Tony is well muddy already! Are you coming quietly? Fiona knew that further argument was useless, everyone was watching her and as soon as she got it over with the better. She couldn't tell everyone the reason why she had kept clean, but she had done her best! OK then, Fiona said. Please don't get me too muddy! The captain and Tony each took her by a hand. Even Tony did not agree with her about that.

The three of them turned around and walked back to the pitch. I'll get in myself, don't push me! Fiona said. She turned to Tony and whispered that she would have happily slid around all afternoon, but she didn't want to ruin the nice set of underwear she had on, which Tony had given to her! Tony told her not to worry, they would just have to find out how good these washing powders were!

They arrived at the worst bit of the ground, where the goal had been. It did seem that they stopped just at the wettest, deepest patch of mud and water there. Fiona turned around and waved. Everyone in the distance cheered. Fiona tugged at up the hem of both legs of her shorts, and lifted them up, half way to her thighs. She held them up with both hands as she dropped to her knees in the mud. Yuck! she said. She's still worried about the mud,Tony. the captain said. Give her a hand! Do some press ups, Tony said and the captain laughed.

Like this! Tony squatted down beside Fiona, and put himself flat out on the ground. The mud oozed up between his legs and he seemed to sink further down. He lifted up his chest with his arms and, his shirt flopped loosely back into the mud. He jumped up again. Fiona was still upright on her knees holding up her shorts, twitching from side to side to keep her balance. Tony dug both his hands together into the slime and picked up a huge double handful. He aimed it at Fiona's tummy and there was a loud slapping sound as it hit her shirt. Fiona let go her shorts as big globules dripped down them. Tony armed himself again, but this time he aimed further up, slapping the mud just above Fiona's chest. The wetness soaked through her shirt and the brown stain ran down to join its' companion below. The front of the shirt was getting wet, muddy and heavy and it clung to Fiona's boobs. Fiona whimpered, but she knew she had to take all that was coming to her. Tony slapped more mud over the front of her shorts, and then pulled her v-neck slightly open. Hey cheeky! shouted Fiona, and Tony thought about of dropping some mud down inside. He could only gather a small amount with his other hand, but he shook it down, while he held her neck slightly open.

Fiona decided that it was time for her to take charge of the situation. She let herself slide forward into the dank water, she felt it soak through her shirt and underclothes. She could feel the mud clinging to her, like a second skin. She lay there and propped up her chin, just above the level of the mess. Tony reached down, and scooped up a huge handful of ooze in both hands, and slapped it down on the clean back of Fiona's shorts. Then he did the same again, into the middle of her back. The captain joined in, and soon they had the whole of Fiona's legs, her bum and her back covered in mud. Tony pushed her shoulders gently downwards, making sure that every inch of her kit was covered. He gave her neck a mock massage, with hands full of mud. Then poor Fiona got to her feet, and walked with them both slowly off. Water and bits of mud dripped off her continually. She was met with smiles, laughter and a huge round of applause. It was all in a good cause.