...Now, in my life, this is very important. It took a while to get to this place. Getting a fuck is easy. Having fun and being satisfied isn't so easy.

Growing up watching TV, I'd get a real thrill and tingle when I would see someone fall into a cake or take a pie in the face. The shows in the 90s, with the pie-slide and the pie-pod? Holy god, I'd be overheated for days on one good episode.

Lets get back to what I was talking about originally: fantasies! Many are driven by stuff I'd see on TV, but made very very adult. Adult versions of it all.

The game where the loser takes a pie? Naked. Open the mystery door and take a pie in the face? Naked. Sit in the pie-pod? Oh my god naked, yes! Pie-slide? Oh darlin', I'm going in naked and never coming out! Comedy skits where someone says "Oh, yes, thanks, I'll take a pie!"? I'll say it! You bet I'll say it. Naked, too. In the middle of a big pie fight where the heroine takes off her jacket? Fuck that, I'm stripping naked, now gimme a pie! I'd come up with fantasies where I've lost my clothes, or I have to get out of them, and then I take a great big gooey pie in the face. Or twelve!

As I got older, though, things got more interesting. I wanted a lover who was as into getting and giving pies as I was. Oh, yes, a huge fantasy of mine is also giving my sexy, naked lover a great big pie in the face, and watching as the pie falls off of their laughing, smiling, eager and happy creamed face!

I'm very visual, and the image of my man who was also into getting pied turns me on ultra-hot. As much as getting a pie in the face turns me on. Which is, uh, yeah, tons.

---

First of all, I think I'm sexy. I have a body that could easily get me work as a stripper even though I've added about ten to my modern-dancing-days weight. I have boobs, too. Firm, round, with sticky-outy nipples that stick out. On most days all I have to do is think about getting pied (or these days, hitting my man with a pie in the face) and out they pop. I still dance, teaching usually but I get my ass out there. I have a good ass. Boyfriend thinks it's a great ass, so - win!

What I find sexy isn't Thor (I'm more of a Bruce Banner chick tbh), and isn't really anything too physical other than I like my men to look like real men. What gets me, really gets me, is brains, confidence, humor, and a bedroom-ability to act, role-play, and be into pie-in-the-face play. This also includes swim-naked-with-me play, and jump-into-a-kiddie-pool-full-of-shaving-cream play. He has to be able to really take a pie in the face. And he has to really, really!, be able to give me an epic pie in the face. Big plus if he ties me up first. Also, want to be my bf, listen to me: take off your clothes. I mean it. I look for any reason to be nude, and if I'm not your reason to get nekkid, get lost. Trust me, your raging hot hard-on isn't an embarrassment, it's a compliment. (It's also a trigger for my oral fetish, but not before a few pies please).

What I find sexy in women is similar, almost the same, but I don't have a type really. Any woman covered head to toe in pies or cakes or both is very sexy! If she can take a pie in the face like an erotic slapstick goddess? Oh, I am all over that!

In both cases, they have to be turned-on by seeing me get pied and creamed, and giving me pie after pie and cake after cake. I love to perform and show off.

Luckily, I have a pie-boy and a pie-girl I play with these days, and I can tell you all about it.

---

So, here's me. Petite, nice tits, nice ass, short hair, tattoo of a woodcut-dragon on my hip. Clean, shaved, waxed, and absolutely ready for my closeup.

I'm renting a house with a pool. just outside of L.A., so it's warm most of the time. Backyard is private.

Generally, I walk around naked (or only a thong/shorts). If I wear a bikini it's really just so I can take it off.

I have a deal with a local market for whipped-cream pies. I buy them by the dozen, and they are pastry-crusts loaded with whipped cream!

I keep two cases of shaving cream around, in a cabinet, and a stack of old pie tins.

When I make pies, I take a pastry shell and load it with a coolwhip/frosting mixture. It's pretty thick, and is very very sticky. I over-load the pie shell, which means bigger but fewer pies, and very interesting looks from the checkout at the costco. Sometimes I get a whole lot of whipped-cream-frosting for the pies. I want to try cake batter and corn-syrup in a pie some day.

The last time I shopped, it was with my pie-boy. By the time we were half-way done, we were both so turned-on from anticipation of nude pie-throwing mayhem that we made out in the parking garage for twenty minutes!

---

So, pie-boy is on a lounge chair on the patio, and I'm in the pool wearing a normal, but minimal, bikini. My ultra-ridiculous micro bikini is great for role-playing but not for the pool.

He gets up, waves, and takes the plastic tarp and spreads it across the patio, grinning.

He's handsome, sexy, confident, and wearing a pair of shorts. Just watching him put down the tarp gives me a tingle because I know that means there are pies in my future!

We have both given each other consent to get pied when we're naked. In other words, I told him that he has my consent to give me a pie in the face anytime I'm naked; he has to either be naked when he does it, or has to get naked immediate after I've taken the pie! He has given me the same consent. He's also a pie in the face freak, and we'd met on a fetish site. Frustrated with our inability to find a like-minded play partner, we figured we'd try it together, and oh my god, do we have fun. He loves to get pies as much as I love to get pied, and he also loves (and I mean loves!) to plant a pie in my face.

Anyway, so he puts out the tarp, and I watch, and my stomach drops because I know there are 12 giant cream pies in the kitchen.

I get out of the pool, dripping wet, and I grab the beach-towel and dry myself off. While I'm drying, and he's watching, I quietly untie the straps of the bikini. I strategically rub the towel so that it pulls the swimsuit off of me, and it falls to the patio tile. Now naked, and mostly dry, I drop the towel to the floor.

Naked!

Stark. Naked.

I grin, and wave.

He waves back, and starts to laugh. "Your bikini!"

"What about it?", I put my hands on my hips.

He laughs, "It fell off!"

"It did not!", I say.

He nods, "Yes it did!"

"Ha, ha, very funny!", I smirk, almost laughing myself.

I walk over to the tarp, and stand in the middle of it.

He gasps, "Oh, you are really asking for it!"

I nod, "Oh, stop, my bikini did not fall off! And what do you mean, that I'm asking for it?"

He snickers, and gets up from the lounge chair. "Do you want some pie?"

I nod enthusiastically, "Oh, yeah! I would love pie!"

Grinning, he darts into the kitchen and comes back with a giant whipped-cream pie in his hands. My heart skips a beat, because if I take that pie in my face, I'm going to be totally, ridiculously creamed. I know how much mess one pie can make, and holy god I'm going to get it. He's very happy, judging by the delicious bulge in his shorts.

He knows how I feel, too, because my nipples just turned into glass-cutting diamonds. And I was getting pretty wet.

He stepped onto the tarp. "You sure you want this pie?", he asked.

I nodded, "Oh, yes! You know I absolutely just love whipped cream pies!"

He laughed, "Oh you are so cute and so sexy! Um.. are you definitely sure that you want me to give you some pie?"

I nodded again, "Actually I kinda want all of the pie, not some of it!"

He laughed again. "Um.. do you remember the rule?"

I said, "The rule? Oh, you mean the rule where the stark-naked person, the one wearing absolutely nothing, and I do mean absolutely nothing but a smile, gets a great big pie in the face? That rule?", I asked.

He nodded "Uh huuuuh. .. that rule!"

I said, "What about it? It's not like either of us is absolutely, stark naked!"

He said with some disbelief, "Your bikini fell off! Look!"

I waved him off, "Oh, it did not! Stop teasing me!"

He nodded again, "Uh huh.. yes it did.. look over there! See? On the patio, your bikini!"

I looked, "Hmm. nope. I see towel."

He made a move like he was going to hit me with the pie, but then backed off. Grinning, he said, "Look harder.. see? Bikini there. You have your boobs out, very sexy!"

I looked, "Mmm, nope, I see towel, and, some color.. what is that? Green?"

"Mm hmm, it is green. Now what color is your bikini?"

"Green, why?"

He said, "Look again... and look down at your body..."

I looked, theatrically, and scanned the patio, "Hmm. Yeah, that is the same color as my bikini. That is odd. But that would mean.."

He asked, "Yessss?"

"Well, since I'm wearing my bikini, you can hand me the pie. But if my bikini really did fall off, and I'm not saying that it did, that would mean that you could smash that pie in my face!"

"Oh, yes, that is what it means! Maybe you should look down?"

I shrugged, "OK. Sure." I looked, "Feet."

"Higher..."

"Legs. My legs are sexy, you know?"

"Uh huh...higher....", he laughed again.

"A great pair of tits", I ran my hands over my breasts, and ran my fingers around my nipples. Biting my lip before I said, "Damn my nipples are wickedly hard right now."

He laughed, "Oh stop teasing me or you are so gonna get it! So, convinced yet?"

I pondered, "Hmmmm. Bare legs... bare ass... boobs out.. oh.. oh no.", I ran my hands down my body and back up.

He bit his lip, "Yesss? And what have I been saying?"

I looked at him, mock aghast, "Oh fuck. My bikini.. it.. fell off!"

He nodded.

"I'm naked!", I said, "I'm completely, stark naked. I mean I am wearing nothing! Just my birthday suit! You can see everything, can't you?"

"I have been, yes!", he said.

"Oh. Oh! That pie.."

"Mm hm? This pie? What about this pie? This is the pie that you wanted. This is the pie you asked for?", he asked.

I nodded, "Yes, well, yes, I want that pie! I really do want that pie, I so want it. I want to take that pie from you."

"You want to take the pie?", he was smiling widely as he asked.

I nodded, "Oh yes! I love pie, as you know, and you want to give me the pie, so of course I want to take the pie!"

"Oh, I really want to give you the pie!", he nodded and laughed.

I squeezed my tits together gently, "But.. oh no! Since I'm naked, and I mean look at me, just look at me I'm completely nude, it means..."

"Yesss?" he asked.

I continued, "You're going to give me a whipped cream pie in the face!"

"I am?"

"You are!"

"I am!"

"You're going to give me a a whipped cream pie in the face!", I reiterated.

"Yes, I am!"

"You are?", I asked.

He nodded. "I'm going to what?"

"Give me a whipped cream pie in the face!", I exclaimed.

"Ok!" he said very cheerily.

I stood there and took it. The sound of it was amazing! "Spop!!" My world went white and cool and creamy and gooey, and then dark as I closed my eyes. The pie smashed and crust cracked all over my face, which felt totally bathed and engulfed in inches of whipped cream.

I felt a lot of cream, made heavier under the pastry crust, land on my shoulders and chest.

I froze, and took the pie in the face like a slapstick goddess. The crust fell, with a huge glob of whipped cream, onto my boobs and started to slide slowly down.

I didn't move, but opened my mouth in mock shock. I was wet, and extremely turned-on as the pie slowly fell from my face to land on various parts of my body before hitting my feet and the ground.

He laughed, and said, "Oh my god, you look incredible. Very hot!"

I smiled, and then grinned widely, my face pied. I made no effort to wipe my eyes! I just took the pie in the face. Still grinning, I put my hands on my hips. "Well, you got me!", I said.

He laughed, "You asked for it!"

I nodded, "Oh, I did. I certainly did! Mm! Oh, you throw a great pie! How do I look?"

"Umm... so, so sexy....", he said.

I heard him run to the kitchen and back, and I knew what was coming next.

When I heard him return, I wiped my eyes and looked at him . Now he was stark naked, and holding another pie.

I grinned, "Um..."

He just said "Pie in the face!", and tossed the pie at me. With a loud "pop!", I got pied. Again!

"OH!", I explained, and then started to laugh. Licking my lips, and grinning, I was very turned on and very happy!

Two huge whipped cream pies makes a hell of a mess, and I knew that I must have looked obliterated. I felt creamed, the weight of the pies on my face and head and chest and breasts was sensual, sexy, and erotic. I licked my lips again and tried to open my eyes.

Nope! Damn, I got pied!

I heard him take a few pictures, so I put my hands on my hips and gave the the full-frontal nude view. Well, nude-with-pies is more like it! I wiped one eye so I could see a little, and he turned the phone to me to see the picture.

Oh, I looked good. My face, really nearly my entire head, was creamed! Pie crust was stuck to my face, and splattered all over my body. There was heaps of cream on my shoulders and breasts, and splattered everywhere in funny places. Over my shoulders, on my middle, on my thigh. Fuck, I looked good.

He thought so as well, because his cock was tall and stiff and gorgeous! I looked at him with one eye, and started to smear cream up and down my body. Up and over my tits, my nipples, over my torso, all over my crotch and around my ass. Hands sliding back up - oh, yes, this was a lot of whipped cream! - until I was cream from face to pussy.

Then I walked up to him, threw my arms around his neck, pressed my pied body up against his clean body, and kissed him deeply and passionately. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed back.

Now I had to think of a way to role-play him into getting pied! That sexy face and body, pied... oh, I could not wait. Now, how to trick him into saying a trigger word. It shouldn't be that difficult because I know just how much he loves to get pied too.

Which is one reason that giving him a pie in the face is irresistible. He really loves it, and I know how he feels. Mmm, and oh, he's gonna get it!

...