I originally posted this elsewhere under the name Y2Gunge, although those are now gone.

Reposting here as it'll probably last a bit longer.

Everyone's a loser S01E02

The introduction came onto the screen and had been updated to show clips of girls getting very messy from episode 1. As the intro finished the title card for Everyone's a loser came up on screen and the scene changed to show the large studio that the show was filmed in.
The audience applauded as the host Heidi McHostface bounded onto the stage, her name appearing on the bottom of the screen with the job title hostest with the mostest. This episode she had pink hair, but she once again she wore a simple white tank top and blue jeans.
"Hello and welcome back to everyone's a loser, the gameshow where everyone is of course a loser! Tonight, we have 4 more lovely ladies willing to put up with super messy forfeits to get big prizes."
"Last time as part of their prize they got to get me messy too, but I don't think you want that do you?" The audience booed that rather loudly "Fine, have it your way, surely it's boring to watch the same girl get messy over and over?"
"Noo!" The audience shouted back loudly.
"Losers! Heidi shot back "Anyway, I thought I'd give you an update from last week. Scarlett is now travelling round the world and is getting a tan in I think Mauritius, from the last e-mail we had. Lola is enjoying Paris. Steph had a great time in Prague and was even nice enough to take the other girls from the gameshow, she also let me tag along as well!"
The shot changed to show images of the 4 contestants from last episode and Heidi having a great time in Prague, downing shots, going dancing and pointing at the sites.
"I deserved to go with them after what they did to me! After we went off air, they wouldn't let me out of that pool of foulness for half an hour and kept on pouring bucket and bucket of that vile mix over me! Once they'd finished, I think they'd just about forgiven me for all I'd done to them. You can find that on our YouTube page along with unedited footage of the hour that Scarlett and Steph were strapped in their chairs sat in their mess. Please watch although I must warn you it does get a bit boring after a while! Speaking of boring, it does get boring having to take three showers a day and the smell not coming out for a week, just saying, not referencing anything specific!?"
"Now I did invite the girls back to come and watch from the audience, but they all told me to do one as they thought I would mess them up again. As if? Well actually of course we would!"
"Now I say all, but one girl was brave or stupid to come back on. She wants to be a contestant again and go for the big prize this time. Could everyone please give a big hand for Candy!!!!"
The roof nearly came off the place as Candy walked back on stage. Her blonde hair looked lovely and expertly done up and was slightly curled. She was wearing a form fitting little black dress that stopped half way down her things.
"After last time we had a great time in Prague and became best friends over a few drinks didn't we Candy?" said Heidi
"Still hate you" replied Candy
"Rude! Anyway and moving on! Now we can't just let Candy back in to compete for this wonderful prize, she's really going to have to earn it, for that let's see what happened a few hours earlier, it might clear some things for the studio audience here!"

Round 0 - Cheese fun-due
Caption: A few hours earlier
Heidi stood next to a bolt upright Candy. Heidi was wearing her usual white tank top and jeans, Candy was in a one piece blue swimsuit.
"Hello there, you join me with Candy who wants another chance to win that grand prize. She's got to earn her way back onto the show and you're about to see her do just that. First of all, as with all our forefeits, she's been tied up so there's no escape, in this case we've used zip ties."
The camera panned down Candy's body showing several zip ties that had gone around her. They pinned her arms to her side at a couple of places and tied her legs together. She also had what looked like an unusual hat on. There was a strap that went under her chin and over her head and there was a short pole on top of her head. On top of the pole was what looked like an upturned bowl with some tubing going directly into the top of the upturned bowl. Candy was standing in what looked like a paddling pool.
"Now for this forfeit we're going to provide some food and entertainment for our studio audience before they're let in to watch the show with a nice cheese fondue. I think you've already guessed who the fondue will be. You can see here that we've given a load of forks and nibbles for the audience to use with the fondue. Shortly I will give the signal and cheese will start flowing up these pipes and come out of the bowl and pour on Candy's head." Heidi was pointing at the piping and onto Candy's head, tracing the route. "She will be then soaked. The cheese will then go all the way down her body and into this pool. There is a pump in the back of the pool that will extract the liquid cheese and keep it going around the system in a circular loop." Heidi pointed to this part of the machine as the camera zoomed in on before continuing. "Now how do you feel about this Candy?"
"A bit nervous!" she answered.
"Well it's too late to back out now, what shall an hour?"
"An hour seems pretty----" as Candy got halfway through her sentence the fondue machine started up. Liquid cheese started flowing down her face and soaking her hair. After only a few seconds her whole face and then all of her body was covered in liquid cheese. The paddling pool filled up to cover her feet and the pump was constantly extracting the cheese and sending it through the system and back out of the top onto Candy. Heidi grabbed a fork and a piece of pineapple and dipped it on Candy's breast, who could do nothing to complain but let out a small groan, and took a bite.
"Oooh lovely, right I'm out of here, have fun Candy." Heidi darted off leaving Candy standing there on her own as the cheese poured all over her. The door to the room opened and the audience started piling through. At first only a few of the boldest audience members dipped anything against Candy but as time went on more and more people started to do it. For the audience watching at home the scene sped up and a clock came onto the bottom of the screen to show the passage of time. Eventually the audience started filing out. When they were all gone Heidi appeared again.
As she stood next to Candy the flow of liquid cheese finally stopped.
"Well done Candy I think we'll let you play again.". Heidi said, wiping Candy's face, who let out a big grin. "However, I've just been told that you were only here for 45 minutes and not the whole hour."
"No, no, no" said Candy which was a mistake as the cheese started up again and she got a mouthful.
"And with that back to the studio." Finished Heidi. The camera focussed on Candy's face with cheese still flowing down it as the scene cut back to the studio where the audience was clapping.
As the scene switched back to the studio, Heidi was stood next to a clean Candy.
"I think you'll all agree Candy has earned her way back on the show. We also have the full unedited version of that on our YouTube page so if you've got a spare hour to have a laugh at Candy it's well worth a watch I will warn you I have been told on, but that's mostly by Candy! Please do watch, we need the clicks!."
"How did you find that Candy?"
"Pretty bad, I can't believe you left me there for another 15 minutes at the end for no reason Everyone else had gone! I hate you!"
"No you don't. and man you really do stink of Cheese! With that over, let's bring on tonight's other 3 contestants. First of all, we have Jeanette, a red head, then we have Monica a mousy blonde but I'd call it brown and lastly we have the very fine Pam who has jet black hair. I know that if you're watching in colour you can see that, but there's still people watching in black and white. All three of our girls are wearing dresses this week. Jeanette's is white, Monica has a nice red number and finally Pam is sporting a sophisticated dark green number. I'm sure they're not going to stay that way" Heidi clapped as the girls walked onto the stage, waving at the audience who cheered and clapped back.
"This episode the prizes have gone up, probably because the vict---- I mean contestants, saw how much mess there was last episode" Heidi continued," Last place gets a cool £1000 this time out, 3rd gets a week in southern France and £2000, second place gets £3000 a fortnight in Sicily and the winner tonight gets to go on that a around the world trip and takes home £10,000. We'll also have a girls all you can drinking weekend for all 5 us to recover. This time it'll be Budapest and we'll go to Hungary's finest spa to unwind."

Round 1 - Soup shower
The title card for the next round came on. All 4 girls were sitting in clear Perspex tubes. The tubes went up to their necks and then there was a lid on them with their head sticking out, it was a big see through box with the girls pocking out of the top. Through the Perspex you could see that the girls were handcuffed to the side of the box and their ankles were held in place by ropes.
"So as you can see our girls are in place and one of them isn't going to be going anywhere for a while. Which girl will it be? Well I asked them a question. What is the world record for world's longest shower (not including contestants from this show)!"
"Monica went with 24 hours, Candy went with 48 hours, Jeanette guessed 36 and Pam went with a whole 72 hours 3 days! Bit long there, Pam!" Heidi then paused for tension before announcing the record. Pam did look a bit nervous.
"The correct answer is 341 hours or 14.2 days set in 1985. It also means that the recipient of the soup shower will be Monica!" said Heidi "Also sorry about that Pam, you were actually closest!"
3 of the girls were let out of their tanks as Monica jealously watched them walk over to stand by Heidi and remain clean for now. The stagehands brought a load of buckets onto the stage.
"As you can see girls, I'm going to need your help with this. We've got lot's of different soups and there's a bucket each for each type. I think we have 7 types of soup and with 4 pourers for each soup including me that's 28 buckets in total! Let's see if we can fill Monica's tank!" explained Heidi
She picked up the first bucket and walked over to Monica. Monica looked up as Heidi held the bucket over her head, pausing before she started to pour. "The first buckets contain. Tomato soup!" With that Heidi started very slowly pouring the soup over Monica. Monica let out a gasp as the soup hit her for the first time and the soup went over her brown hair and turned it orange. The soup flowed down through the hole with Monica's head sticking out, over Monica's body and into the tank where it started to pool at the bottom. "Ok girls your turn!" With that Candy came over and poured the next bucket over Monica, then Jeanette followed by Pam. Monica felt absolutely soaked. She also couldn't believe that was only the first type of soup and she still had 6 more to go!
"The next soup is potato and leak!" Heidi grabbed her bucket and proceeded to pour it over Monica once again "Ooh, look at the lumps in there!" she said pointing out some of the pieces of potato and leek in the soup. After Heidi had done her bucket the other 3 girls took their turns and covered Monica in even more of the lumpy liquid.
The next soup up was a lentil soup. As the buckets were poured the lentils stuck to all the existing soup on Monica and made slow progress down her face and then body. By the time that Candy was pouring the last bucket over her head the lentil soup that Heidi had done had only just reached the rest of the soup at the bottom of the tank.
The tank was now filling up quite nicely with a mix of soup, about halfway up the sides and Monica was sitting in it up to her waist. While some of the soup was mixing there was still distinct layers signifying each of the flavours. There was still a lot more soup to go though.
"The next soup is mulligan mulligate--- millia----" Heidi paused. "Come on guys, this is a written story, it's impossible for me to not be able to pronounce a word and adds nothing..Mulligatawny soup! Thank you!" With that Heidi poured the bucket of Mulligatawny explaining a bit about the soup for anyone who didn't know "Mulligatawny is a classic, spicy soup made from an exciting combination of beef, rice and curry spices, with a hint of mango chutney. So now you know!" This was another orange soup and Monica took all 4 buckets while shaking her head.
The next set of buckets contained Vegetable soup. The soup was tomato based but still a brown colour and contained lots of chunks and different bits of vegetables carrots, potatoes, peas, onions and several types of beans. The chunks yet again clung to Monica as they went down her body before pooling on top of the rest of the mix at around her chest.
"After the vegetables let's have some Minestrone soup!" Once more, the 4 girls took it in turns pouring the buckets of soup over the hapless Monica. The soup was quite like the vegetable soup to look at as it went over her although there were lots of strands of pasta in there as well which stuck to her body as they went down her. The tank was getting near to the top.
"For our final buckets we have one of my favourites, although it smells quite a bit. Ladies and gentlemen and Monica I give you mushroom soup!" The soup was white and thick and travelled slowly over Monica after Heidi poured it. The cameras could just make out the darker shapes in the soup that were the bits of Mushroom.
Next up Candy poured her bucket of mushroom soup over Monica and as she did the tank overflowed and the soup mix started coming out around Monica's neck. Luckily only Pam and Jeanette had their buckets to do and it just hit her head and went over the lid and the sides of the box.
"Right that appears to be all the soup we have. How was your soup shower Monica?"
"Well it's kind of more of a bath really isn't it? With me sat in here?!
"Don't be silly, bath and soup aren't alliterative, it's a soup shower! Anyway, enough about that. Your forfeit is almost complete, well done! Hope it's worth it for a grand and a nice time in Hungary. But as you know we're evil on this show and we're not going to let you out, so you'll have to sit there in your soup bath for the rest of the show!" While she had been expecting this Monica still looked grumpy at being made to stay there, sitting in a tank full to the brim of different soups all the way up to her neck. As she was still strapped in inside the box she couldn't move around to much or raise her arms out to wipe her face.
From the side of the box there were different layers for the different colours of soup, finishing with the white mushroom soup on the top. Heidi wiped her face, so she'd be able to tell what was going on in the next round and left her there to stew.

Round 2 - Fish and chips
The title card for the next round came up fish and chips. The three remaining girls were stood up vertically in thin cages, human height, with their ankles tied to the metal near the bottom, their arms tied up pointing upwards besides their heads and they were also firmly secured by the waist to the cage. The cages were currently on the ground with strong cables connected to the top and bottom of the metal at all 8 corners.
In what is a running theme for this the show, the remaining 3 girls were looking nervous.
"So the question we asked this time was: how many millions of portions of chips do the good people of Britain eat every year according to the first result I found on Google this morning?"
"Candy said that Britain eat 400 million, Pam went with 300 million and Jeanette guessed 350 million portions" Heidi paused to let the tension build. "The correct answer is 382 million! Which means that eliminated this round is Pam!"
Pam look absolutely mortified to have lost. Jeanette and Candy were released from their cages and scarpered quickly to avoid any mess. Pam was secured in her cage.
"Can you guess what we mean by fish and chips Pam?" asked Heidi
"No and I don't think I want to know!"
"Sorry Pam, we can't let the audience down!" the audience cheered
With that the cage with Pam in started to move. First of all the cables that were connected to the cage helped to lift it off the ground. Pam was still perfectly secure inside and wasn't going anyway. Once the cage was about 6 foot off the ground it started to rotate so that it was horizontal and Pam was staring up at the ceiling.
After the cage had stopped moving a large empty Perspex box was moved under the cage and Pam. It was a bit bigger than the metal cage that Pam was in.
"Pam, you can't see but we've put something under you to catch any spillage!" explained Heidi
"Um cheers mate" said a confused Pam. A thick hose then came down from above the ceiling and dangled above her head. There was a go-pro on the end so the audience could see Pam's worried expressions.
"This is called the fish and chip round and you may have realised that Pam is not actually a fish, so we are going to have to do something about it. Now the audience here will probably guess what this is from the smell, but for those watching at home Pam's about to get coated in a lovely fish sauce!"
With that a thick pink paste came out of the nozzle. First of all, it went into Pam's face who tried to wiggle out of the way to no avail. The hose then was moved up and down her body. Eventually she was completely covered, and the flow came to an end. Fish sauce was dripping off Pam and also off the cage. This had gone on for quite a while so the box below her was now full of the fish sauce.
"Oh my god! That was real bad!" complained Pam
"Yes it was, but I think we missed a spot!" said Heidi and with that the cage was lowered towards the box of fish sauce.
"No, no, no!" Pam went into the sauce and the cage stopped with her half in and out. "Oh thank you so much!" she gasped. The cage remained at that height for a short while.
"Oh sweet nae Pam!" said Heidi and with that Pam was dipped right under the sauce, after a couple of seconds she came back out, coughing and spluttering. " I think she's coated now!! Said Heidi! "Right that the fish sauce, moving on.!
"There's MORE!" shouted Pam
"Yes, a lot more, that was just the first part! This is a bad one Pam, should have done better!" With that a fresh hose was put in place and another empty Perspex box was put below Pam. Once again the hose fired up and sprayed Pam while she just had to lay there and take it in her cage. It wasn't quite as bad this time, it was just batter, but once again after she'd been coated she got dipped in the full box a couple of times for good measure.
The box full of batter was taken off stage and a new empty one was put in it's place. Another hose came down from the ceiling
"You know what you do after you batter a fish? You have to put flour on it!" There was a huge cloud of flour that came down quite quickly on Pam. This filled up a quarter of the box. There was a moment pause and then there was another cloud. This happened a couple more times until the box was full. The flour stuck to the batter on Pam.
"I'm not going to dunk you in the flour because I don't know if that will work properly." Said Heidi. Pam breathed a sigh of relief until Heidi changed her mind "Oh well, let's give it the old college try" The cage moved downwards to the flour but when it reached the flour it just stopped there with the cage and Pam resting on top of it. Heidi looked a bit disappointed, but Pam's back was truly covered.
"So that's your fish done there Pam!. But you know what I like with my fish and chips?"
"A warm shower and letting people out of cages?" quipped Pam
"Oooh, good one, but seriously, mushy peas!"
"I do not care for mushy peas at all!" Pam had to wait there while the next hose was put in place and the next box was put under her, all the while knowing that the dreaded mushy peas were coming for her.
"We haven't had some audience participation in a while, audience you ready!" Heidi yelled at the audience.
"Hang on, I saw what you did last week, you're going to go on 5 or 6 aren't you?" Pam guessed.
"Well, no, you see, what I would" spluttered Heidi "oh well you got me. Because you're such a clever girl we'll go all the way. Audience!"
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And with that slimy and liquidy green peas sprayed straight into Heidi's face. The hose stayed on her head for a while before moving one again to the rest of her body. Like with the previous substances by the end both Pam and the cage were dripping.
Pam was laughing "jokes on you, I knew you were gonna do that!"
"Yeah right, jokes on me" with that the cage started to go down.
"Oh, I forgot about that, shi------" said Pam as she went straight under the vile green muck. After a few seconds the cage was pulled back up and out of the peas.
"For being such a clever girl, we'll give you a couple of extra dunks!" Pam and the cage went up and down, in and out of the peas 5 more times. When Heidi was finally satisfied the cage was raised fully again and finally went back into a vertical position. It then went back to the ground and Pam was right back where she started but caked in several layers of slop.
"How was that for you then Pam?"
"That was the worst fish and chips of my life! It was really." Pam trailed off as she could hear the laughing at something and was aware that there was something going on behind her. A see-through box like the earlier ones box was being moved into place behind her, although this one was vertical.
"Well Pam, there's something else that I almost forgot that I like with my chips." Said Heidi and with that her cage started moving again.
"I really do not like what's going on here!" said Pam as a hose came down from the ceiling again. It stopped poised above Pam's head. As the cage was vertical, Pam appeared upright this time. Eventually the hose burst into life and a thick, yellow and brown liquid came out of it and went straight over Pam's head and then flowed all down her body. Because of the thickness the liquid was taking its time coming out of the tube and as she was upright it reminded the audiences of Candy's earlier fondue ordeal. The smell was overpowering for the audience so imagine how bad it was for poor Pam! When the box was half full the flow stopped.
"Pam do you know what that is? I think the audience probably knows from how much it stinks" asked Heidi
"No, I have no idea but it smells and taste real bad though!" Pam answered, the liquid dripping off her hair and every bit of her body in big globs.
"It's curry sauce!"
"What?!
"Have you got it in your ears? Curry sauce!"
"Curry.. sauce? I..I don't know what that it?"
"You don't know what that is? Which part of the UK you from? Well you know it now. I must say it's a bit of an acquired taste, so I'll have to give you some more to get the taste!"
With that the flow started up again. Pam squirmed. It kept going until the tank was 3/4 full and then stopped again. Pam was able to catch her bearings.
"Right into the tank you go!" ordered Heidi. The tank started moving downwards however it wasn't full enough to submerge Pam in completely and only came up to her chest. "Well that's embarrassing." The cage started rising again and then stopped. Curry sauce flowed once more over Pam's head and finished filling up the tank. The sauce kept on coming until the box was overflowing and the sauce went all over the side and down over the studio floor!
"Stop, stop! There's enough in there now!" said Heidi waving her arms. The flow stopped and then Pam was dunked in completely, her head going all the way under. After this the cage was slowly brought all the way back out and moved to its original position on the stage floor without a box underneath it. Pam and her dres were soaked through with curry sauce and browny yellow all over. As she was coming down the audience clapped and cheered.
"That was a bad one Pam, almost sorry about that! It'll be worth it when you're sunning in France and I'll get you a pint in Budapest. So what do you think of curry sauce?" enquired Heidi
"I am never ever having that on my chips in my life ever!"
"Well I think you need to be using less of it Pam, the smell won't be quite so overpowering!" with that Heidi grabbed a towel from the side-lines and wiped Pam's hair and face clean. Pam looked a bit relieved.
"Ah I can see again!"
"Right, you're all thinking where's the chips? Well this time we're going to be almost nice!" with this a couple of stagehands came on carrying two plates of chips. "One is for Pam and one is for Monica. While we are keeping you locked don't say we don't feed you. By the way, whoever finishes first gets £500 and a special prize." The stagehands started feeding Pam and Monica chips in their cage and box respectively at the side of the stage as Heidi walked away to prepare for the next round.

The final round - Cottage Pie
Heidi walked back onto the centre of the stage in front of Jeanette and Candy who were strapped in the same chairs as the previous episode. The girls were strapped in by their arms and legs and at the waist. The chairs could also be moved around but now they were still in the centre of the stage.
"God that last round was brutal. I hope you two are suitable nervous!" Heidi pointed at Jeanette and Candy who both nodded their heads. "For those wondering at home both chairs are cushioned as we know that the girls will be in them for a long time and we want them to be at least a bit comfortable. We're not complete monsters! Moving on from that this round is called Human cottage pie, and I'm not going to lie, my cottage pies are pretty terrible and don't necessarily have the right ingredients I just call it a cottage pie and whoever's on the receiving end has to grin and bear it."
"Now, Candy, you've come so far, this could be your redemption from last time!" Heidi asked.
"Yes, I've come so far this time, I'm so close to it being all worthwhile. It feels weird being clean this long on this show but I know that's not going to last too long!" Candy answered.
"And Jeanette, if you win you'll have to go through everything, are you prepared for that?" Heidi turned to the other girl.
"Well I'm not looking forward to that curry sauce when I win, but I think it will be worth it!" said Jeanette confidently.
"Right, this round's question which I've asked to both ladies in the back before they got strapped in. In millions of hectares, because that's what it's recorded in, how many potatoes were harvested in 2017?"
"Jeanette went with 25 million. Candy went with 15 million. The correct answer is Now if it's over 20 million Jeanette wins and anything under then Candy is a winner.. so the answer is.19.3 million hectares!!!! Congratulations Candy!"
Jeanette had lost and Candy had come back and won this episode! Jeanette and Candy were both still strapped into their chairs but the camera focused on a very worried looking Jeanette.
"So human cottage pie time. We're going to start with some gravy." Said Heidi and with that a giant gravy boat was brought onto stage and placed above and behind Jeanette. After a short time, the bowl leaned forward and the gravy started flowing out of it and onto Jeanette's head. The gravy boat kept on tipping backwards and forwards, so the gravy stopped and started. Each time the gravy went over Jeanette her hands shook inside her shackles and she squealed. By the time the gravy boat was finished Jeanette was completely drenched in gravy.
"Next up we need some tomatoes" with that stage hands brought on 20 odd buckets of chopped tomatoes. They helped throw them at and all over Jeanette who could do nothing and wasn't able to protect herself as the potatoes went all over her gravy-soaked body. Her hands shook again at each wave of tomatoes.
"As I said my receipie isn't great so next up we need some mince, but in order to keep it flowing we need it in a chilli!" This time a giant serving dish was brought on and put behind Jeanette again. It rose up and then lent forward and went all over her and her chair. The pieces of mince stuck to her head, face and body.
"For those wondering this weeks forfeits are not suitable for vegetarians." Said Heidi as Jeanette panted and shook her head. "Now next up we have mashed potatoes! This ones for my boy Bodger!" More stage hands came with more buckets and they threw all of the mash at Jeanette. At times they had to put there hand in the buckets to get the last of them out and throw it this way, like potato snow balls.
After everyone had run out of ammunition Heidi went over and grabbed some of the potatoes that had gone on the floor. She scooped it up and put it in a big pile on Jeanette's head.
"Now we don't want the pie to be dry Jeanette, so let's have some more gravy!" in the meantime the gravy boat had been filled back up. It came back onto stage and a fresh load was poured all over the squirming and squealing lady. The gravy didn't really clear any of the mash stuck to Jeanette and it just kind of soaked into it.
Eventually the flow of gravy stopped and Heidi went over to give a quick interview: "How are you feeling there Jeanette?"
"A bit like a Sunday roast! I can't complain too much though; I'm quite warm under all this! I'm just said I missed out on the top prize!"
"Yes, speaking of that, Candy I haven't forgotten you. Time to earn your £10,000, because you may be this episode's winner but this show's not called someone's a winner, it's Everyone's a Loser!"

The final final round
Heidi started the final round by saying "Now we have a thing on this show that no one can go through a forfeit twice, so Candy, you won't have to be a fondue again!"
"Now Pam I did say that you'd win a special prize if you won the chip eating contest"
"Noo! I got it so bad" protested Pam.
"Let me finish! Pam, please help me put on the fondue hat! For you Candy, I will be the fondue! I'd have had to do something with the cheese anyway so let's get it out of the way!"
Pam's cage opened to release her, and stagehands came over to help her out. Heidi went over and stood in the fondue pool from earlier which had been brought on stage. Pam helped Heidi put the fondue hat in place. She then retreated to a safe distance and the cheese started flowing. Heidi closed her eyes was quickly covered in cheese. The scene was sped up and a clock in the corner of the screen showed the time ticking away. She was in that machine for 15 minutes as the crew and audience milled around her. Pam went away to finally get cleaned up.
Eventually the cheese flow ended. "Ok, that was horrible. I'm now soaked and smell so cheesy! Ugh!" said Heidi, spitting out a mouthful of liquid cheese.
"Back to you Candy. First of all we need to coat you in some soups. Now where can we get some soup from?" The camera cut to Monica who was still sat in her glass tank full of soup. Stagehands came over and took the lid off. There was then a problem as they couldn't really see where the hand cuffs securing her were.
"Hmmf, I have to do everything around here!" Heidi went over to the tank and managed to release Monica's hand cuffs while leaning in over the edge of the tank and putting her arms in. The first one came easily but the second one was a bit trickier but she managed to get it eventually. Monica now had her arms free and brought them straight out of the mix and punched the air. As she ran her hands through her hair to fashion it into a soup soaked pony tail she realised that she was still secured by her ankles.
"Well I'm not going down there!" said Heidi and so Monica had to lean down to untie herself. She kept her head above the mix and the audience could see her struggles from the expression on her face.
"I can't reach!" she finally gave up.
"Yeah you can, you're just going to have to go under!" Monica looked crestfallen but realised that Heidi was right. She took a big gulp of air and put her head straight under and into the mix. After about 20 seconds she broke the surface again and took another big gulp of air and went back in! Another 20 seconds and she came back out and stood up! She'd been able to free herself! Heidi helped her climb out of the tank and Monica went off the stage to get cleaned up.
After Monica had got out of the tank it started moving to behind Candy's chair. It was then raised above her chair and stopped.
"We've made a slightly modification to the chair system this episode. Last time a lot of the bean bath we poured on Scarlett went everywhere and not on her herself! She was barely covered!" a replay flashed up on screen showing that although some of the beans had missed, Scarlett certainly could not be described as barely covered. "So, you see at the top we've got a big catcher and then comes down into this funnel which is above Candy's head." The funnel was still quite wide, the size of the tubes that had poured curry sauce onto Pam earlier and ended just a couple of inches above where Candy was sat.
With that the tank of soup went into life again. It tipped forward and the mix started flowing into the catcher. The mix of soups went into that and then down the tunnel and started to pour all over Candy who was still stuck in her seat. The flow went on for quite a while and as it was such a mix of soups the colours of the liquid kept on changing. When the tank was empty the flow finally stopped.
"Now as Monica was sat in that all night, we're going to give you at least half an hour to sit in it." Said Heidi
"Now about that Heidi" replied Candy. "I've had a thought; you were only in that fondue machine for 15 minutes. To fully experience what I had to go through, I think you should have at least another half hour. What do the audience think?" there were huge cheers of agreement from the audience.
Heidi was still covered in cheese from earlier but was speechless as the fondue pool and tray were brought back on stage. Pam rushed over to strap the hat on her head again and tie her hand's behind her back before Heidi even seemed to know what was happening. As Candy's half hour soup sit in started so to do the cheese fondue machine once again coating Heidi.
Once again the footage was sped up, a split screen showing Candy in her chair and Heidi, miserable in cheese. The half hour ended, and Heidi quickly got out of the fondue machine again. In the time all this had been happening Monica had got cleaned up and was sat on the side of the stage enjoying Heidi's misfortune. Pam finally turned up just after the clock had stopped as well and joined her.
"For that trick with the fondue machine I'm going to enjoy this bit!" said Heidi "This one's going to be horrible isn't it Pam?"
"It took me so long to scrub it all off!" Pam explained to the audience "and I still reek of it!"
"Indeed you do Pam, indeed you do!" Heidi responded. She then started to direct traffic. The first box from earlier came back on stage containing the fish sauce that had gone over poor Pam. The box rose up out of the ground and was then tilted over the catching devise so that the sauce flowed into it and down the funnel above Candy's head.
Candy very quickly changed from the multi-coloured mess she'd been from all the soups to pink from the fish sauce. The sauce took it's time but not a single part of Candy missed out. She fidgeted around in her seat but it didn't make much of a difference.
"Still a long way to go Candy!" taunted Heidi "and something smells really fishy!" the audience groaned.
Once the box of fish sauce was empty it was cleared away and the tank of batter was brought on and put into the same position. It was also poured over the still trapped Candy and the batter turned Candy from completely pink to a completely yellow.
The next box was full of flour. "Now we had a talk back stage and we don't think this will work as well and may clog up our machine Candy!" shouted Heidi. "You saw what happened when we tried to dip Pam into it! So we're going blow it on you." With that a big fan was brought out on stage. The box of flour had been placed in front of Candy and the fan was in front of that. When the fan was fired up it blew all the flour onto Candy. A lot of the flour went straight past Candy and covered the back of the studio but there was still a large amount that stuck to the battered Candy. When all the flour had gone out of the box the fan was switched off. Candy shook herself and some of the large bits of flour that weren't stuck to her fell off including a big mound on her head.
"Right get than fan out of here. I don't want that blowing the peas all over the place. It'll make such a mess of our nice lovely studio." Heidi moaned. The box containing peas was once again brought on stage and taken around the back of Candy's chair where it was raised above her head. The box leaned forward and the peas went into the catcher and through the funnel and Candy was a turned into another colour - green.
The peas eventually ran out and the box removed.
"Right Candy, you know what it's time for!" said Heidi
"Oh no, I'm not looking forward to this one!" said the pea soaked Candy!
The box full of curry sauce came back onto stage and was put into perilously placed behind Candy. Slowly the box was tipped up and the sauce start flowing into the mechanism and out of the nozzle over Candy's head. As the first wave hit her she let out a whimper and closed her mouth as tightly as possible. She wriggled as wave after wave went over her. The curry sauce had got even thicker in the time it had been left out and it took an age for all of it to come out of the box and onto Candy, but thankfully for her it eventually stopped.
"How was that Candy?" enquired Heidi
"Like the fondue but much smellier, at least it didn't go on for that long! I feel sorry for Pam being dipped and left in that!"
"Well actually that's the end of your fish and chips round so I'm going to leave you in it for a bit. Serves you right once again!" said Heidi. "Just be glad I'm not dipping you in it." Candy sat in her mess again for another half an hour.
After the half an hour had finished the show came back to the action. All through Heidi's fondue and the first half of Candy's prize, Jeanette had still been sitting in her cottage pie. The shackles keeping her secured now popped open and she was able to wipe some of the mash off, sending loads of it off her head, lap and onto the floor.
3 buckets for each of the ingredients of the cottage pie were brought on gravy, chopped tomatoes, mince chilli and mashed potato. Heidi and Jeanette teamed up for this one, throwing them on Candy from a distance. It took a while but eventually they ran out of ammunition. Candy was completely splattered in all of the food.
"Thanks for your help Jeanette, go get cleaned off!" instructed Heidi. "Candy, don't you be going anywhere!"
There was a flash of lights and a fancy jingle and the floor opened up to reveal the final pit! "Candy, you've seem this before but I don't think you know what it's like in there, how bad it really is. For those at home a reminder that all the gunk that's gone over our ladies tonight has gone through grates and then pipes and into this vat of revoltingness. There's all the cheese in there from the fondue, all the soups we used tonight, batter, flour, fish sauce, mushy peas, all that horrid curry sauce we tortured Pam with, gravy, mashed potatoes, gravy, the curry sauce we tortured Candy with as well and the rest! We've also asked our neighbouring restaurants to help out and once again they've given us a week's worth of leftovers and wastage to put in there!" explained Heidi. "If only you could smell it at home. Studio audience could you give a verdict?"
"Eeeeewwwww!" said the audience together.
The chair holding Candy, who was still caked in her 'cottage pie', rose up and moved forward so it was over the foul-smelling pit. Not all of the liquid had mixed together so there were different parts with different bits in. It was impossible to tell what was what but it looked thick and thin and slimy and all different colours.
"Right, first of all for Monica!" said Heidi and with that the chair went down and dunked Candy into the slop. She went straight under. When Candy and the chair came back up they were completely coated and the mixture was dripping off them.
"And for poor Pam!! The chair went down again and the same thing happened, Candy once again going fully under.
As she came back up Candy shouted "God this is bad, how many more to go?"
"Um, just a couple, one for Jeanette, one for you and then one for me I think!"
"Well, let's do this! Bring it on, wooo!!" Candy was still wooing as the chair broke the surface, thankfully she managed to close her mouth in time.
"That was for Jeanette, next one is for you!" one more time the chair was dunked and came back up. "And lastly, one for me!" Candy was taken by surprised as instead of the whole mechanism going in, she was just dropped into the pool. This meant she had her mouth open in shock and got a gobful, when she resurfaced she had to spit one out. As her arms were free the first thing she did was wipe her eyes and then raise her arms in the air to start to cheer.
"Yes, I've done it! Totally worth it!" she then sniffed "Man it reeks in here, or maybe that's just me?"
"I think it's you" replied Heidi
"I hate you!" Candy said back friendlier this time.
"Well done Candy! You are kind of a winner, well for this show at least, but remember everyone's a loser, including me so it's time for the final part of this show." said Heidi
The final final final round honestly
"I know I'm still soaking in Cheese, but there's now more to come for me just to make sure that everyone's a loser. Why on earth did I take this job? Oh yeah! At least I don't have to do anymore cheese tonight! Before we move on, everyone knows I'm a handful, so I need tying up to contain me and for that we'll be bringing back something we used earlier a cage from the fish and chips round!" Heidi climbed inside the vertical cage and was strapped in place.
So first up in my final final final round host forfeit is all the soups." Stage hands brought out 14 buckets, two for each of the types of buckets that had been used earlier. A small ladder was also placed behind Heidi's cage and Monica was invited over to do the job. She took the buckets and poured them over Heidi in the order she had received them Tomato, Potato and Leak, Lentil, Mulligatawny, Vegetable, Minestrone and finally Mushroom soup.
. Once she had done all 7 buckets she climbed down to look at Heidi and admire her handiwork.
"How you doing in there Heidi?" she said to her victim who was caked in soup.
"Still a way to go Monica, just get on with it!" pleaded Heidi.
"My pleasure!" she responded and proceeded to pour another set of the 7 different types of soup over Heidi. At the end of the soup stage the audience clapped as she walked off the stage waving, her job done for now.
Next up was Pam. Heidi was particularly worried about this considering how mean she'd been to her. Hopefully Pam had forgotten this. She hadn't. Of course, she hadn't.
"I remember how mean you were to me so I've been having a word back stage." With that the cage with Heidi strapped in rotated so it was now horizontal. Pam had been given two buckets of each of the substances she'd been covered in earlier.
Pam started by picking up a bucket of fish sauce and pouring that straight in Heidi's face, the next bucket went over her body. Next up was the batter which she once again poured all over the helpless Heidi. The flour was next and this time Pam took handfuls out of the buckets and put it on Heidi to make sure that it stuck to the batter. The next two buckets were full of very wet slimy mushy peas which turned Heidi green.
When Pam got to the buckets of curry sauce she placed an empty bucket under Heidi's head, her hair dangling into the bucket. She poured the sauce all over the perky hosts face and head, as she did so the bucket below filled up. She did this for both buckets of curry sauce she had been given and when she was done enough of the curry sauce had gone into the empty container to fill it up.
"As you said Heidi, it's an acquired taste so I'm making sure you can acquire that taste as much as possible, wouldn't want you not to have the taste for this" She pulled out the overflowing bucket putting another bucket to catch the sauce again and once again unleashed on Heidi. She did this several times, filling the bucket up via Heidi and then pouring it over again. By the end of the 6th go around of this Pam had got satisfaction.
"I think we're even now!" There was a huge round of applause as Pam walked out of the way, waving her arms in the air and cheering.
It was now Jeanette's turn and time to give Heidi some of her dreadful cottage pie recipe. Jeanette started by asking for the cage to go back into the vertical position. She then climbed up behind Heidi and poured two full buckets of thick gravy over her head. Two buckets of chopped tomatoes were next and this was followed by the mince chilli, it was really making a horrible mixture. For the mashed potato she enlisted Pam's help and they both took a bucket and scooped out handfuls and placed them onto Heidi. At the end Heidi was partiarly covered in the mash which had stuck to all the other substances on her.
When Jeanette was finished Heidi's cage started to move again. It went over the pool of mix from earlier that Candy had now climbed out of. The cage dipped into the mixture as it had done to Pam earlier, dunking Heidi in the mix. The cage did this three times before rising higher than normal. At this point the cage sprang open and Heidi was released from her restraints, she dropped straight down and into the pool, being completely submerged. After a few seconds her head popped out of the top of the surface.
"Thanks for watching once again and remember to tune in next time to the game show where Everyone's a loser!" Heidi signed off. As the credit rolled the contestants were once again filling up buckets and pouring them over poor Heidi's head as she waved goodbye!