Darcie's Wardrobe Malfunction

Or Countdown to Clutch

Hi, guys! I promise that subtitle will make more sense by the time this story arc is done. I'll give you a hint: If you recall, at the end of the last story I mentioned that Jim was going to Houston for a few days. Google Clutch and Houston and you might see what part of this story arc's finale is about. No, it's not about my I miss you video I sent him. It's going to span about three chapters, assuming I don't make it longer, beginning in the summer and ending in the fall, during which I'll get wet, messy, naked, share a cute, wet and very innocent moment with one of our girls, get the shit pied out of me several times, moon and flash a couple of rednecks and finally push my comfort zone all for your reading pleasure - not all at the same time, mind you! And don't worry; there's plenty to go around for Beth, Debbie, Kellie, Olivia and even Ashley makes a couple of appearances.

What? You still want me to tell you about the I miss you video? I spent the last story getting tied up and reduced to a messy whore of a rag doll. Isn't that enough?

Fine! I'll give you the Cliff Notes. I wore this dress at the beginning and by the end it was a thoroughly chocolate soaked rag and I was happily playing with my new toy from the last video, Mr. Chubby Extra, which moved me as much that time as it did the first time if you know what I mean! Jim tells me he had as much fun watching it as I had making it.




Anyway, back to the story: Jim got home the day before Independence Day. I know we've always had the big mud volleyball tournament on the 4th, but we moved that to the next day (Saturday) because in addition to the parade on the Fourth, the town was having a carnival. It included a vendors' tent where Kellie had leased space for her photography business plus the one she shared with Beth, Debbie and me. We figured we could work in shifts and still enjoy the carnival with our families.

I have to start by describing how we were dressed. The forecasted high for the Dallas area was 105 degrees (F). I've mentioned it gets hot here in the summer, haven't I? We all had camouflage print spandex mini-skirts and tan tube tops. The tube tops had been embossed with the name of our video business, Extreme Bridal Video. All four of us also had camouflage print mini-veils. They were like a woman might wear for a bachelorette party except they were camo. I had some cheap canvas lace-up's. So did Debbie. Beth wore hiking sandals and Kellie wore canvas slip-ons. The outfits were cute, reflected the fun of our business and would be fine for having fun in later since in addition to the carnival, the town also put on a water festival that included playing in the park fountain, squirt gun battles, fire hoses and a giant inflatable water slide. You can see where this is going, (at least for now).

Beth and I took the first shift in the vendor's tent. We had Olivia's video playing on a big screen. We also answered questions on Kellie's straight wedding photography business. The tent was oppressive to say the least and we were glad when Kellie and Debbie arrived to relieve us.

I was actually ready to get wet now, but the water festival was still setting up and Jim and the girls would not get here until later. However on the edge of the carnival, we saw a dunk tank manned by some of the local high school cheerleaders. Everyone who was on the squad with Ashley had apparently graduated because I didn't recognize any of them. They also didn't look like they were as fun as Ashley's squad. If she had been in charge, they would have been up there in uniform. However these girls were all in bathing suits. The crowd wasn't very interested either. The first rule of a successful dunk tank is, Don't dress to go swimming.

How is business? I asked.

Slow, the girl minding the balls and the money replied. I don't think we're going to meet our goal to send everyone to cheer camp.

I grinned at Beth. You want some help livening things up? Beth snickered. I didn't have to tell her what I meant.

It can't hurt, the girl said. No one wants to dunk anybody.

Well what do you expect? I asked. Who wants to dunk anybody dressed like they expect to end up in the water? Pointing at the girl on the bench in a bikini, I added, Get her off of there and watch me.

They all looked at me like I was crazy. Of course my hubby will tell you that the jury is still out on that one. C'mon; c'mon! I coaxed at the girl climbing down. I had dressed for comfort, but before I headed up, I reached into my purse and pulled out my springy hair clip to pull my hair up and put on a quick coat of bright lipstick, blush, mascara and eye shadow.

Aren't you even going to take off your shoes? the girl who had been sitting up there asked when I started up the ladder to take her place.

Y'all want to go to camp, right? was all I answered with.

The girls, Cara and Celeste both nodded.

Alright then, you should each go and put your clothes back on and tell anyone else that's coming to forget the bathing suits. I paused and added, And pay attention!

I settled onto the seat and crossed my legs to the side. Now watch me, I said. Then I started to shout to people. Hey! You'd like to get a pretty girl all wet! I know you would! I shouted to one rather athletic looking young man walking with a girl. Show her what a he man you are!

He turned and paid his money. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have the arm and missed with all three tries.

I saw a little boy walking with his parents point at me. The mother seemed reluctant, but the dad talker her into it. They paid for him to try.

Let him come up closer, Beth told the Celeste. Beth positioned him halfway between where the throwers were supposed to be and the target. His first throw was off the mark. His second was not so much, but still a clear miss.

I told you he'd be disappointed, the mom said. This is a grown-up game.

Well I wasn't going to let him be disappointed. Even though I was still dry I was going to have Beth let him smack the target with his hand. Repeat: I was going to do that. The kid wound up and threw. I wasn't paying attention but I was completely expecting to hear the ball hit the backstop tarp again. However what I heard was it making a clear impact on the target. I felt the seat give way and into the cold water I went!

Yeah, it was a bit of a shock. I had forgotten to check on how cold it was. At least my sweaty underwear wouldn't stick to me anymore! I went completely under. The little boy ran right up to the window and I stuck my tongue out at him. Everyone was laughing and telling him what a good job he did when I surfaced.

You got me all wet! I said with hair flopped down over my face. I went back under and posed behind the window on my knees with my hands on my hips and my lip pouted out for a picture with him.

Good throw! I called to him as they left.

I reset the seat and climbed back up. My camouflage print skirt was a lot darker soaking wet and water dripped from my canvas shoes. My tube top had lost a little of its opaqueness, but not much more than a cheap bathing suit. You could make out more of a print of my nipples than you could actually see them. I didn't care. I knew this outfit would end up soaked anyway and I wasn't showing off as much as I did last year when I got soaked in that white cotton bodice and Capri's that I may as well have just taken off and run around in my underwear for all they covered up.

I'm not going to go through everyone who dunked me. Since I was already soaked, Beth let any little kid who missed shove the target and send me down. I made fun of every guy who walked by, especially if he had a woman with him. It got to a lot of them and they ponied up the five bucks to try to send me swimming. I even goaded some of them into taking multiple turns if they missed the first time. Many of them gave me the dunking my smart mouth made me so richly deserve. It was hot and I loved every one.

The people were getting tired of dunking my bedraggled self so Beth climbed up. She went down thanks to the third guy to plunk his money down. She was just as mean as I was and generated her share of repeat customers who wanted to give her what she deserved. I let little kids punch the target for her too. Her last customer was a little boy. My clothes were drying out in the sun and were at that uncomfortably damp stage so when he missed the third time, I told him to wait there and I climbed up and took a seat next to Beth.

Go ahead, I told him.

You get to dunk two pretty girls for the price of one, Beth added.

He ran up laughing and punched the target. The seat dropped out and both of us dropped into the cold water. Beth was used to it by now, but I had lost my edge a little. It was only for a second. It felt a lot better than the 100 degree heat. We both posed behind the glass for him.

Make the guys want to dunk you, make it fun for little kids and above all, don't look like you came to get all wet. I told the girls manning the booth when we left. They had changed into street clothes. We may have a couple more volunteers for you, I added.

We sloshed back to the vendors' tent. You couldn't wait; I see, Debbie kidded.

You both look like you could use some water, Beth replied. Why don't you go help out at the dunk tank and do your community service?

They both looked pretty spent from the heat. Both gladly headed off to get dunked. Beth and I got some odd stares at first but once the water festival opened, more and more people passed through the tent drenched and we got noticed less and less.

We switched off a few more times and then Kellie had some of her photography studio's employees show up to take the later shifts. Jim, the girls, Steven, Ian and Robert all showed up and we spent the rest of the afternoon either at the carnival or making sure we stayed totally soaked at the water festival.

We four women decided to show up the uptight adults and parents watching the kids have fun and climbed into the park fountain and sat down in the water for a little girl talk session.

Where's Johnny? I asked Kellie. It was a segway into seeing how things were going between them.

He was working this morning, Kellie replied. A buddy of his had something break on his truck he was going to take to the July 4th run at 'Big Swamp Mud Park'. He promised it wouldn't take long and he would catch up to us here.

Amidst kids splashing and giggling around us, I leaned it to ask, And how's it going between you two? Out with it!

Kellie grinned and blushed a little. She leaned over into the fountain spray that was falling right next to her and let it cascade over her blond hair, face and the top half of her tube top that wasn't submerged. I will admit in one of my few moments that I allow myself to notice another woman, that she looked damned sexy like that. Of course, what woman doesn't?

We waited for her to finish her shower since I wasn't about to let her get out of answering! I noticed the four of us identically dressed ladies were still getting a few odd stares from the uptight people sweltering around us, but that more than a few had given in and were either in this fountain, the pedestrian fountain or on the inflatable water slides. Good. People should enjoy themselves.

She sat back up straight with water glistening in her freshly drenched blond hair. She looked like she was enjoying a memory for a second and then finally answered me: His neck is a red as they come! Most dates usually involve us getting a truck stuck in chest-deep mud and getting ourselves covered in it, but if he asked me right now, I'd marry him in a second!

Sounds like it's going pretty well then! Debbie said with a snicker.

I can't get enough of him! Kellie replied. He can talk me into anything and everything and I just let him and I love it. If he showed up right now and told me he wanted to go streaking through the carnival, I wouldn't be able to get my clothes off fast enough!

Beth, Debbie and I all looked at each other and giggled. We all had guys who had that power over us and, bless our hearts, we loved it! Mine was currently running around the fountain trying his best to hold his own in a three-on-one Super Soaker battle with the girls. Have I ever mentioned that when I see him being a wonderful dad that I just want to fuck his brains out? I have? Ok.

What about, er, you know? Beth stammered, giving her hips a little thrust under the surface of the water to suggest what she meant.

Oh! (giggle), Kellie began. It's absolutely great! I think he'd be happy to keep his face buried in myOops! she trailed off.

We looked up and realized that in our fascination with Kellie's story, we didn't notice that Ian and Bailey had walked up and were pointing Super Soakers at Beth and me.

Why aren't you shooting your dad? I asked.

He told us to come after you, Bailey replied.

Beth and I shared a grin. It was amazing how we still knew what the other was plotting. We stood up and put our fists on our dripping wet hips and Beth declared, You wouldn't dare!

The two little ones blasted us both in the face with wicked aim. I'm not sure where Ian learned to shoot a squirt gun like that, but I sure know where Bailey did. She, Carly and Paula have become fully assimilated to the way Brad, Jacob, Ashley and I grew up. They head outside in the summer rain or shine in their play clothes like we did and if they're not soaking wet or covered head-to-toe in mud by the time lunch rolls around, I ask if something is wrong. If we're not working on someone's video, I'm usually out there with them in the afternoon after I'm done working around the house. (Yes, I do most of the housework since Jim's salary is enough that I don't have to work a regular job. Sue me, feminists!) Paula is even earning money riding the mower in our yard and Mom & Dad's. I see myself out there in a pair of shorts and a tube top or sleeveless blouse tied across my stomach while she's mowing. Also like me, it's mow for thirty minutes, pond for fifteen. She's a little young for the boys to honk as they go by while she mows in wet clothes, but the boys her age will start noticing in a few years. Hopefully it won't make Jim's hair turn gray.

Oh, and this will make the helicopter parents' heads explode. Since Paula has done such a good job on the riding mower, she is allowed to drive her sisters back to the waterfall and the muddy bog in the new four-seater John Deere Gator we just bought. We're country. That's how we roll.

Anyway, back on topic: Beth and I stood there and took the barrage with smiles and then both fell stiff-board face-first into the water, putting our hands out just in time to keep from hitting the bottom of the fountain.

You got us, I exclaimed when I popped my sopping head back up.

That was enough to satisfy two giggling little ones and they hopped out of the fountain and ran off to find their fathers.

Anyway, you were saying? I immediately went back to drilling Kellie.

The sex is fantastic, she said, and he's such a giver! After that last part she demonstrated flipping her tongue. Lowering her voice, she added, He gets his whole face into it!

A recent memory of my own blue-eyed Yankee's face totally covered with my glazing popped into my head. My body tried to make my underwear even wetter.

So, Kellie had fallen for a guy who likes to get her messy. Who would have thought? I wondered if he would like to see her messy in some of the other ways we liked to do it. I learned that we'd find out later.

Yes, I know this story is entitled, Darcie's Wardrobe Malfunction and all I've been talking about is getting dunked and playing in the water in the park. I'm just setting up how we were all soaked all day. Besides, one more person from out little party hasn't shown up yet.

Or at least she is about to show up right now. Olivia and Jared came strolling up to the fountain holding hands. He was wearing a tank top and cargo shorts with flip flops. Olivia was wearing a pink tube top and maroon spandex mini-skirt. No, we didn't tell her in advance so she could dress the same as us. Great minds just think alike. However it really worked out to the guys' advantage later. I promise that I will get to that here soon.

Hey! Did ya'll see that Ashley has a friend in college named Jared who seems to like wet and messy women? (Then again, what guy doesn't?) I wonder if he drives an old SUV and likes to splatter Sigma Kappa girls with mud. Someone needs to help keep the wet girls wet!

They were both dry for the moment. Olivia sat down on the side of the fountain and pulled her Crocs flats up onto the basin wall and sat with her arms around her knees.

Why don't you go play with the guys and the kids? Olivia suggested to Jared.

Ok, he replied, but first

We all knew what was coming. He put a hand on Liv's shoulder and gave her a gentle shove. She offered no resistance and with the same smile I saw on her face when Jared ripped what was left of her sloppy rag of a wedding gown off her and kicked it in the pond and then gave her a shove in right behind it in her thoroughly trashed wedding lingerie, she simply rolled off the fountain wall and fell into the water.

She pouted comically at Jared who turned on his heel and went to find the rest of our entourage. We laughed, but a woman got our attention standing next to the fountain when she exclaimed, I can't believe he just did that to you!

I turned to look at her. She looked like one of the uptight parents who were there at the water festival, the ones sweltering in the heat while their children kept cool. She was obviously sweating badly and strings of hair stuck to her damp face. She was wearing a knit sleeveless top and cuffed shorts nothing the water would have hurt. She really could have used some fountain time.

Thinking she was joking, Olivia snickered and said, Well, you know, 'Boys will be boys.' They deserve to have a little fun.

Not at your expense, they don't, the sweaty woman snapped back. She looked down a little, obviously noticing that Liv's pink top was even less opaque than our tan ones were. Just look at what he did to you!

It's ok, really, I was getting wet anyway, Olivia replied. It's a water festival and it's hot out here. Jump in and join us.

No thank you, she snapped. I'm not about to get in there and be objectified. I would never let a man do something like that to me!

As she spoke, she placed her left palm against her chest for emphasis.

Olivia became really snarky and replied, That probably explains why there's no ring on that hand.

The woman reared back and simply huffed. Carter! Get out of that water now! she called.

A little boy in blue swim trunks protested that he wanted to play in the fountain.

I said now! she snarled. The boy climbed out and she dragged him off. At least she let him act like a kid for a little while.

My mom would love her, Olivia said. God, I can't believe I used to act that way. She spread her arms out and leaned back to fall under the surface.

We saved you just in time, Debbie said when she popped back up.

Yes, and I can't wait until there's mud in my underwear tomorrow, Liv replied.

Johnny finally showed up and we all paired off with our guys to play on the inflatable slides and run through the other fountain. We took a couple of breaks from the water to go on some rides at the carnival and watch as the parade went by, but we always ended up drenched again after a short while. We stayed soaked the rest of the afternoon and evening. Sitting in the fountain was the perfect vantage point for the fireworks.

We didn't dry out after the fireworks either. The plan was for everyone to crash at our house since they would all be there with the rest of my family for the big mud volleyball game the next day. Since we were all still soaked though, we all headed for the backyard and the pond once we got to the house. The kids didn't even wait until we turned on the flood lights to go storming down our dock as soon as we got out of the cars. I heard four splashes and lots of giggling in the darkness.

We ladies were next, but of course we were all thrown in. Not that we cared or put up a fight or anything mind you. That Yankee can throw me in the pond anytime he wants.

Originally we were just going to swim with the kids for a while and call it a night, but you see Jim wanted to show off what I got him for his birthday, a patio bar, so we swam and drank. You can thank Jim and his extra strong Margaritas for what eventually happened.

We told the kids to just dry off and go to bed. They'd been in the water all day and night and would be little mud monsters all day the next day. No point in putting them in the bath. It would just take us away from our fun anyway. Paula was getting old enough to realize that Mom & Dad played adult games and shoed her sisters and Ian into the house. Beth started to follow.

He's in good hands, Beth, I said. Stay out here and enjoy yourself.

Now, if you stuck with me, the payoff is about to begin.

You know what we haven't done in a while? Jim asked. We haven't messed these girls up together.

What the hell? Johnny asked.

That's a great idea, Robert said. They just love to get messy, Johnny.

I don't know, Kellie said. Now she had gotten wet with us and was here for the big skinny dip party that time after Olivia's video, and she had gotten muddy with us and now a lot with Johnny, but we'd never managed to really get her messy as one of us. This was our chance!

Now the only drawback was that Kellie, Beth, Debbie and I were all wearing the matching outfits we'd ordered for our business. Being wet in them wouldn't hurt them, but whatever Jim had in mind would probably wreck them. However we were all drunk. Combine that with the fact that I really wanted to see Kellie get trashed and that none of us could say No, to our guys made the four of us forget about our custom outfits.

C'mon, Kellie, let 'em have some fun! Beth urged. Then she whispered something to Kellie that made her giggle.

What the hell! Kellie relented. What are you gonna do, take us back to the mud?

Hell no! Jim replied as he, Robert and Steven lined up five patio chairs on the deck. You'll get plenty of mud tomorrow. Just have a seat.

What are they doing? Kellie wondered.

I bet I know what they're doing, Debbie replied.

I had a hunch too, especially when they told us to sit down. Johnny was looking a little bewildered at all of the activity, but Steven, Robert and even Jared seemed to pick up on what the Yankee had in mind right away. The three of them followed him into the house and down the basement steps, presumably to the play room. Jim had apparently been busy making supplies and had this cooked up ahead of time because the three of them came trudging back out with a big covered bucket in each hand.

John, we've got a lot more stuff to bring up, Jim declared. How about giving us a hand?

Johnny gave Kellie a perplexed glance, but even she seemed to realize what we had coming to us. She motioned for him to go ahead and follow the guys back in the house. They made several more trips and each time emerged with buckets in each hand or stacks of square flat boxes. Gee, I wonder what was in those! Eventually the deck was covered in buckets, all with lids, and stacks of the flat boxes with a larger rectangular box sitting on the table.

The five of us sat dripping and my Yankee put on his showman's hat.

Ok, Jim began, the name of the game is 'Wardrobe Malfunction'.

I looked down at my tube top, already stretched out a little from being soaking wet for over twelve hours. I grinned wickedly at my hubby. He was getting bold. This is what I get for letting him tie me up!

It's very simple, he went on. The lovely ladies in their tube tops simply have to sit there while we deliver what's in the buckets over their heads. Last one to have a wardrobe malfunction wins the prize.

What's the prize? Beth yelled out.

That's for me to know and you to find out! Jim shot back.

Jim huddled up with the four other guys and then they broke up and each one picked up one of the buckets and stepped in behind us. By this point I knew what was in them, but they removed the covers and confirmed it. The five buckets all had a G written in Sharpie on the cover and that stood for green as in green slime. Jim, Steven, Robert and Jared all heaved their buckets up and started dumping them. Beth, Debbie, Olivia and I all shrieked and groaned as the rather cold concoction of cake batter and oatmeal rolled over our wet hair, down our faces and between and over our boobs.

Johnny hesitated for a second, but Kellie yelled out, Oh, go ahead! and she was instantly covered in a clumpy coating of slime.

I felt the weight of what ran down my top begin to work towards that wardrobe malfunction Jim was talking about. It didn't slip, but it wouldn't take much more for it to begin to.

Hey! Watch this! Beth exclaimed and pushed her tits together, making her tube top vomit up green chunky slime. We all giggled and followed suit.

The guys all laughed, but then Jim said, If you keep doing that, you'll make the game last a long time.

My top was coated in slime and oatmeal and a huge puddle of it was in my lap. I figured that since I was already soaking wet, that it might not stain too badly. That is as long as we didn't get dumped with chocolate.

No wardrobe malfunctions from round 1, Steven said.

Then bring on round 2! Beth shot back at him.

Yeah! We're waiting! Debbie added.

Jim pointed to five more buckets sitting together. The guys grabbed them and stepped up behind us. They lifted them over our heads and my heart beat faster in anticipation. Then the lights went out thanks to a coating of smooth purple slime.

I pointed my face up and purred, Mmmmm! as slime rolled over it. Hey, I might as well enjoy myself! Lots of it poured through the funnel between my tits into my tube top. Some of it ran out the bottom into my lap, but more stayed inside. I could feel it pooling up and could feel the pull on my top.

I looked back and forth once the pouring had stopped and I'd wiped my face off. All five of us had purple slime oozing out of the bottoms of our tube tops. Debbie was rubbing it in everywhere, probably convinced that the outfit was ruined anyway. I hadn't given up. Beth and Olivia's tops looked like they'd both begun to slip and Olivia was feigning nervousness. It wasn't as if we hadn't shown off our assets to each other before. Everyone here except Johnny had seen me completely naked on more than one occasion. Kellie had not been around when we got really wild after Sylvia's party, but she was the first one after me to skinny dip. Robert had not only seen me naked, he'd gotten to take advantage of it, not that he ever would again mind you.

Now we're getting somewhere! Jared exclaimed, eying his wife and Beth.

Jim added, But we still don't have our first loser yet on to round three!

The guys grabbed more buckets and we squealed and giggled in anticipation.
I hope my top hangs on, Olivia said before they overturned the buckets and poured out red chucky slime.

It was dark red too. The skirt might survive, but I was having my doubts about the tan top. I was having fun anyway, even if my top was beginning to slip.

We have areola! Jim shouted. All of us had slime running over between our boobs and you could see that our tops had all begun to slip. Beth's was down the farthest with just the top of her left ring showing. (Hers were pretty big anyway. LOL)

Beth slapped one hand up to her cheek splattering slime everywhere. With a wide-eyed expression and in a southern belle that rivaled mine she cried, Oh, MY!

The guys came at us again and overturned their buckets. I gave up any hope of salvaging my outfit when I was covered in a sweet coating of heavenly chocolate syrup. (Isn't that worth the cost of an outfit?) Jim slowly covered my head and hair and I involuntarily leaned back to let it run over my face, even though it meant even more would funnel down through my cleavage. I felt my tube top getting heavier and heavier, but it held!

Uh-oh! We have a 'nip slip'! Steven exclaimed. I cleared my eyes out and saw that all of our tops were really sagging, but Beth's had partially given up and most of her right tit had popped out.

Quick, men! Cover her up! Jim shouted and they confirmed my suspicions of what was in the boxes. He, Steven, Robert and Jared each pulled a pie out of one. Steven's plastered her one bare tit with a blackberry cream. Jim nailed her in the face with a chocolate cream. Jared followed to her face with a banana cream and Robert decked her bare tit again with butterscotch. Beth cackled with laughter through it all and shrieked or grunted with each hit. Johnny simply watched with a perplexed smile.

Jim grabbed a chocolate cream and handed it to him. Go ahead. You better believe we're all going to let Kellie have it when it's her turn! he said.

Beth had blinked her eyes clear and leaned forward. Pointing at her face with both index fingers she shouted, Yeah! Lay one on me right here! You loved splashing me with mud. Let me have it now!

You guys are nuts! Johnny said, but stepped forward and smashed the chocolate cream into her face.

Go ahead and rub it in good, Steven told him.

Mmmmm! Beth purred when Johnny rubbed the pie over her face and into her hair. He let the pan drop and she added looking at Kellie, I hope he gets you as good when it's your turn.

Johnny blushed a little. Even though he didn't seem to have a problem ruining our suits with mud that day (which we are more than willing to let him do again), I could tell he was a little bit nervous by where this game was going. Now personally I was getting excited based on where I hoped it was going. However Kellie also noticed his discomfort and tried to set him at ease.

Don't worry, sweetie, she said. (We're southern. We all call everybody sweetie.) I agreed to play and let you play. Relax and have fun!

He shook his head and laughed. He gestured to the pile of pie boxes and asked Steven, Do you mind?

Naw, go ahead, Steven replied. She won't mind either. Believe me.

Beth didn't say anything, but wiped her face and grinned a sly grin at Johnny as he approached her with a cherry cream. She held that grin and held his gaze until the last possible moment when she shut her eyes just before her face disappeared again behind a wall of whipped cream, cherry filling and crust.

Not bad, Beth said behind the wall of cream, but you should try throwing them too.

I'll try to remember that, Johnny said.

Well it's time for the next round because we still don't have a full wardrobe malfunction yet, Jim said.

What do you call one of my boobs hanging out? Beth asked.

Only half of one, Steven shot back.

I looked down at myself. My outfit was officially wrecked. So was everyone else's. The chocolate was the last straw. It wasn't the nicest thing I'd ever destroyed in the name of a good time. We can always order new matching outfitsand probably trash those too.

Jim stepped up behind me and began to pour. This was a dark red slime, some of the chunky stuff. I heard Beth shriek as soon as it started covering us and then a similar sound from Olivia a couple of seconds later.

I blinked my eyes clear to find both Beth and Olivia's tits completely exposed. Beth's top collapsed as soon as the first few ounces of slime rolled down into it falling down to let her left tit join her right one in the night air. Liv's top slid down all at once. They laughed and pointed at each other.

Cover these poor ladies up, guys! Jim declared.

They attacked Beth with another round of pies and Olivia with her fist. Johnny even tried throwing one although his went a little high and into Olivia's hair.

Try again! Olivia shouted.

This is crazy! Johnny said when Jim handed him another pie.

You'll get used to it, Jim replied.

Johnny laughed and shook his head and then cocked the pie back. Olivia leaned forward shoving her face out as far as she could. Johnny's throw was a little closer to target this time. The blackberry cream plastered Liv in the face a little to her right, covering her ear and splattering back into her wet, gloppy hair.

Mmmmm, better, she said. Keep practicing. Liv smeared the sticky blackberry sauce well into her hair.

Two down and three to go, Robert commented. Debbie looks like she's about to get pied.

It was true. Her right nipple was the only thing holding her top from sliding completely down. Debbie smoothed her gloppy blond hair back and mouthed Ooooo! towards the guys.

They came at us with another round of buckets. We vanished under a coating of dark blue creamy slime. It felt so good that I couldn't help but rub it into my skirt. I felt my top slipping again. Debbie yelped and started laughing. I knew she'd had a malfunction and I figured that I was about to join her with all of the blue slime pouring down my cleavage and pulling down my tube top. However it caught on my nipples just as Jim emptied the bucket.

We need to cover up my Debbie! Robert shouted.

And the cover is washed off the others! Jared added.

Washed off. Right! What did they think was going to happen when they slimed Olivia and Beth again with their tits hanging out?

They attacked Debbie first since she was the newest one exposed. Robert pied her tits with a banana cream. Jim and Jared gave her a chocolate cream pie sandwich and Steven plastered her in the face with a key lime. That left Johnny.

Don't be shy, Robert said. It's ok. Pie her in the tits!

What a sweet, shy guy Robert used to be. Look at him now telling Johnny to pie his own sweet little wife in the tits! It's a good thing we like it or he'd be in trouble!

Debbie sat up straight and thrust out her bare chest and wiggled to dare him.

By this point, we were past caring what the guys did to us. Hey, we're Stoogettes. We live for this sort of thing. Now things won't go as far as Ashley took them at the messy rave, at least I'm not planning on that ever happening. But what's a little exposed skin between friends?

Johnny was a quick learner. He hurled the banana cream pie at Debbie and it exploded dead center in her cleavage. She let out a grunt on impact and then a girlish giggle. She ran her fingers up between her boobs and scooped some into her mouth.

Mmmmm! Nice shot! she teased.

They hammered Beth and Olivia and went back for more buckets. I looked down at myself and then at Kellie. I was next and I knew it. I got a little aroused at the thought of the guys just about to see my tits, not that anyone but Jim was going to get to do anything other than look.

I leaned my head back and smiled at Jim looking playfully down at me and kept my eyes open long enough to see that I was about to get another layer of luscious chocolate. I did my best to channel it down between my tits and fill up my tube top. It overflowed the top and the elastic gave up holding onto my slimy tits. My initial scream quickly changed to cackling laughter. However only my right side was completely exposed. A little of my left nipple was covered.

Darn, it's not a total wardrobe malfunction, Jim said.

What do you call this? I shouted and grabbed my tube top and yanked it down so that it was gathered around my waist, totally exposing me. The other three topless ladies did the same to theirs.

I call it a girl who needs covering! Jim exclaimed.

I shouted, Let me have it! and thrust my tits forward as Jim hurled the first pie and felt the rush when the blackberry cream exploded in them. Robert showed me that Debbie definitely lets him get plenty of practice with a delightfully stinging banana cream that made me grunt. Jared's key lime in my tits left the same sensation and Steven showed off his pitcher's arm with another blackberry cream that covered my face and hair.

Let 'er have it, Johnny, Jim said. She just goes on and on about how much they all enjoyed it when you splashed them with mud.

That is true! Of course I love doing that. There is just something so submissively erotic about standing there in the rain while someone in his car who is clean and dry roars past and just hammers you with water, mud and road grit. It's also a lot of fun if you take the sexual stuff out of it too. It's rained a lot this summer and a couple of times we've piled the girls in the Blazer and driven down to that spot where my car stalled. We sometimes run into some of our new friends we met that day who now appreciate the pleasure of standing there and getting destroyed by passing cars.

SPLAT! That was Jim and a blackberry cream pie telling me that I need to get back to the topic.

Anyway, Johnny snickered. I defiantly stuck out my chest and waited. It was a little high and didn't sting, but it still left a layer of sticky butterscotch and whipped cream on my tits.

It felt so good to finally get pied. All of them nailing me felt a little like being shared but for now that's as close to Amber's experienced in The Parallel Universe as I want to come.

I guess I win, a slimy Kellie declared.

Not yet, Jim replied. The winner is that last lady to have a wardrobe malfunction. You're just nearly there.

The tops of both of her areolas were peaking over her tube top. It would just take one more good sliming.

Well, show me the slime! she said. I like the way you party.

If that's the way you feel, Jim said, then you won't mind all of it.

The four of us topless ladies laughed as the five guys ganged up on her, each with a different color. Johnny's first coating of green chunky slime was enough to yank her top down, but Jim got her with pink, Jared with chocolate, Robert with light blue and Steven with purple.

Slime dripping from bare nipples, Kellie declared, I love you all! and yanked her tube top down around her waist like the rest of us. Then the guys let her have it with pies and plastered the rest of us again.

So what's the 'grand prize'? Beth asked.

Come over here and find out, Jim replied, beckoning us to the picnic table. He opened the larger box and it revealed a store-bought half-sheet cake with white icing and WINNER! written in red icing across the top.

Gee, do I get to eat all of that? Kellie asked, putting on her best ditz. I knew deep down that Kellie could become one of us, but I was surprised at how quickly she caught on.

Not eatexactly, Jared replied.

Jim and Robert picked up the cake and held it in front of Kellie. Johnny, will you do the honors?

Why, thank you, James, he replied formally, only letting a bit of his southern draw come through. He stepped up behind Kellie who was snickering and placed one hand on a thigh just below her waist and the other around the back of her neck. She quite submissively let him bend her over and shove her destroyed face deep into the fine white cake. I was impressed! I could now officially count her among my submissive WAM friends!

Jim and Robert folded the cardboard plate the cake was on around the sides of her head and smashed it well into her hair.

A muffled, That all ya got? emitted from the blob of cake covering Kellie's head. She knew how to ask for it too!

Johnny was definitely over his initial apprehension. He motioned for Jim and Robert to hold the cake plate and stepped around behind our messy Kellie. Still bent over, her mini-skirt was already showing off her panties that were actually still blue since none of the slime had gone down her waist. Johnny picked up a bucket and grinned as he pulled her skirt up and pulled the back of her panties open to pour the contents into them. Kellie shrieked at the cold chocolate rolling over her ass and filling her panties and even though she wiggled a little, she stood and took the whole bucket like a trooper. The rest of us girls all smiled and elbowed each other at what a great sport our friend was. We were definitely going to have to include her more often now!

Did I mention I was jealous too? I really love my underwear filled with mud, but chocolate is almost as good.

The guys finally dropped the cardboard cake plate and released her. The plate was empty except for a few crumbs. What hadn't fallen onto our deck was either stuck to her face, dropping onto her tits or ground into her hair. Kellie dug a handful of sweet glop out of her tits and stuck it in her mouth. Mmmmm, she moaned. Then she said to Johnny, Thank you, lover! That was the sweetest prize I ever got! She wrapped her arms around him and locked her lips with his, covering his face and the front of his t-shirt and cargo shorts with mess. He didn't look like he minded at all.

They parted their kiss, and with one messy arm around each other they turned to face the rest of us.

Sweetie, Debbie began, you were pretty reluctant at first. What changed your mind?

It was what Beth whispered to me, Kellie replied flashing a knowing grin at Beth.
Beth took the hint and explained: I told her if she went along she'd probably get to experience what she missed at Sylvia's party.

Speaking of which, Kellie began, slipping away from Johnny and heading off the deck for the dock, you boys have totally ruined our clothes. Do you want to put them out of their misery too? She obviously remembered what happened to our clothes the day of Olivia's video shoot, (and many of mine since then!) We girls all followed her and the men tagged right along.

We paired off with our guys and let them have their fun. Jim grabbed my bare tits and gave them a playful squeeze. I didn't care who saw. I smiled coyly as my Yankee pulled my collapsed tube top off over my head and gave it a sling into the deep water between the dock and the raft. Then he unzipped my wrecked skirt and I wiggled my hips to let it fall. Then I gave it a kick off the dock into the water. That just left my panties and Jim tore them off me and left me messy and naked on the dock. Of course I wasn't the only one by this point. The other guys helped too except for Johnny at first who couldn't believe what was going on. Kellie basically stripped for him until it was obvious she wasn't going to wait for him and he shredded her panties and tossed them in the drink.

For the record, I'm not embarrassed about being naked in front of close friends like this, especially when everyone else is too. I also don't care if I get caught by total strangers. Who cares if they see me? It's casual acquaintances who concern me. They might gossip!

Have I ever told you about the dream I have every once in a while? Jim and our closest friends are watching me strip around a pole on a stage. I bare all (like the billboards in Florida say). We may have to do that sometime, get a pole and do a strip tease. Of course we'll need a shower stage.

Jared went back and grabbed a bunch of air mattresses and headed back down and arranged them on the dock.

Comfy enough for you? Jim asked.

Hey! I mocked. Do you think just because we're southern, drunk and naked that we're just going to lie down here and let you fuck us?

Well aren't you? Robert shot back.

Well, duh! Debbie continued the bit. We're southern, drunk and naked! What else do you expect?

For those of you in the audience of a politically correct bent or anyone who might think this offensive to women of the South, please remember that we are all good friends and that four of us are in loving married relationships and the fifth is in what is by now a committed relationship with men whom we adore and with whom we eagerly perform any act they please. They know they're getting laid. We know they're getting laid. We're just kidding around. For the record, where they're concerned, we are that easy.

We helped our guys deep six their own clothes so we were all trapped outside naked and paired off again. Jim came down on top of me on our air mattress, smearing pie between us. I gasped as he entered me. Even wet and messy in the outside air I was totally ready for him. I hoped no one looked out the windows of either house because we had forgotten to turn out the flood lights!

Jim wasn't wearing his ring so it wasn't the explosion I was used to, but it was still satisfying. The real fun happens later anyway. Eventually we were all finished and just sort of making out when Olivia suddenly said, Hey! Who wants to play 'shooting gallery'?

What's that? Kellie asked.

Olivia explained, There's still a bunch of pies left. We line up on the edge of the dock and let the guys throw them. If they hit us, we fall in.

Sounds like fun! I said. When you're drunk, anything sounds like fun.

Giggling, we ladies lined up our naked selves with our heels on the edge of the dock. From left to right it was Beth, Kellie, me, Olivia and Debbie.

Our newest friend goes first, Jim said and handed Johnny a chocolate cream pie.

Now Johnny's aim had improved quite a bit that evening, but I could see him fidgeting. Perhaps it was the fact that all five of us were staring at him standing there naked and holding a pie. I don't know what he was so worried about. He had a great view of all five of us!

Now he was looking at Kellie and I'm sure he was aiming at Kellie, but it must have been that nervousness, because he couldn't have nailed me more squarely in the fact if he'd been right in front of me. I caught the Oh shit! expression on his face just before the lights went out under whipped cream and chocolate. The rules were still the rules though and I let the recoil of the exploding pie push me off the dock backwards and into the warm pond. For some reason the pond midsummer feels like it's caressing you, especially at night.

At least I was rinsed off now. I surfaced and treaded water, asking in my best southern belle, Did you really mean to pie lil' ol' me? I fluttered my eyelashes up and everyone on the dock.

He was supposed to aim at me! Kellie whined. I'm his girlfriend! She pouted out her lower lip and crossed her arms over her bare tits.

Don't worry, Jim said. I'll even things up! He swept up a pie and launched it at Kellie. It plastered her good and her look of shock gave away that she really didn't think he'd do it. But I was learning that she was just good as sport as the rest of us and she dutifully fell off the dock and splashed down next to me.

Well, at least someone wants to pie me! she said when she surfaced. Johnny, you need target practice!

Yeah, and Kellie volunteers to be the target! Debbie said over her shoulder to Kellie and then turned around with only enough time to start to shriek before a key lime exploded in her face and she fell off the dock.

Jared and Steven nailed Olivia and Beth in the face and we all crawled back up. Jim set the tone for the next round by plastering me in the tits with a blackberry cream. Johnny actually got Kellie this time, lucky for him. I squared off against Beth and we threw pies at each other across the dock and both fell in. Olivia and Kellie played Duck. Olivia stood in front of Kellie and ducked when Jared threw a pie at her and hit Kellie. After Kellie fell off, Olivia stood up laughing and Johnny plastered her. Debbie simply stood with her arms open wide and let all of the guys plaster her before falling in.

There were five pies left. We all lined up facing the water and bent over wiggling our asses at the guys. Let us have it! we baited. SPLAT! Five pies exploded in our asses simultaneously and we all fell off the dock together face first.

C'mon in here with us, fellas! Kellie said. She was fitting right in. The guys all jumped off the dock and we skinny dipped, knocking each other of tubes and air mattresses and going down the slide naked. With all of that rubbing against each other, it didn't take long before the guys were ready and able again.

Kellie took note and made a suggestion: Who wants to play 'Mermaid'?

Isn't that a kid's game? Jared asked.

Not the way we're going to play, Kellie replied. Y'all go and sit on the raft and the mermaids may come up and give you a surprise.

It didn't take a G.E.D. to figure out what that meant, but she still took us aside and made sure no one was opposed to giving a blow job.

Opposed? We all have master's degrees! I said.

It was Kellie who suggested it, but Johnny was the one who didn't quite get it though. Jim, Robert, Steven and Jared climbed out and sat down with their legs spread apart and their feet dangling in the water on the edge, but Johnny was sitting in the middle.

No, dummy, Kellie said with a giggle. Sit like the rest of them. He must still not be used to having a somewhat submissive woman around. We just like to make sure our men have fun!

He may have been confused, but the women knew exactly what was up. As soon as all of the guys were in position, we went under and each swam up to our respective love and surface right in front of him with big sexy smiles.

Oh boy! Human men! Kellie shouted. We're finally going to get to try this, girls! I hear there's nothing like it!

It would have been more convincing if we'd been able to put on mermaid tales, but the guys loved it anyway. Why wouldn't they? I pulled up onto the dock between Jim's legs and went right down on his cock. Now with the combination of water and night air, he wasn't rock hard, but that was ok. I like to use my mouth to firm him up anyway.

Wow! Humans really are the way to go! I said as I pulled off and admired the erection I was creating. I love doing this and Jim knows I love doing this and if he wants me to blow him, he just needs to ask, unless we're watching TV with the kids or in a crowded restaurant or something like that well maybe in the restaurant, if it was dark and there was a table cloth to hide under.

I went back to work and Jim played with my wet, tangled hair. He was at full attention now so I pulled myself up and went all the way down on him before I drew back, holding my tongue against his shaft the whole way. He let out an aroused gasp.

Oh, you are so good at this, Darc, he moaned. Well of course I am! I'm Darcie, the best kind of woman to marry. I'm his best friend and his personal whore who happily does things that hookers charge extra for. (Incidentally, I've taken a poll. All my friends do too. My sister is worse than all of us. No wonder Pete looks like he's in a daze most of the time!)

I varied my technique a little and licked around the head of his cock while I used my fingers to play with the shaft. I took it from his reaction that he liked that. I heard some of the other girls taking their guys over the top and so I shifted to alternating between short bobs and deep throats. Jim's breathing increased and I felt him shudder just before his cock blew out his wad into my mouth. I pumped him with my lips to get every drop and even licked the head a few times to get any spillage before swallowing with a huge grin on my face.

No, I didn't fake that last part? Who asked that? Are you new here or something? I love swallowing. It's my favorite way to finish him off. Getting squirted in the face used to be my second favorite before we discovered cum pie. Getting his jizz on a pie in my face took over the second spot.

Look, girls, Olivia exclaimed when all of the guys had climaxed, (and we had all woofed it down). The human men's seed has made us grow human legs! She was holding one leg out of the water.

I picked up the gag. Reaching down in front of me, I added, And we grew something else too!

Great! Now we can really have some fun, Kellie exclaimed, if our new human friends will help us.

Climb right on up here! Johnny told her.

The guys all lay back on the raft and we climbed out of the water to sit on their faces. Now it's rare for Jim to let me get in his face after a good fuck, but with all the swimming, I'm sure he figured I should be rinsed out. It's true that I don't care about it happening the other way around at all. He can pull out of my pussy and park it in my mouth any time he darn well pleases, but I'm perfectly fine with him not wanting to do it the other way if he doesn't want to. I'm supposed to be the submissive one in this relationship. Besides, in an upcoming chapter in this arc, he makes a pretty submissive gesture of his own.

I gasped out loud at the sensuous pleasure my sweet hubby's tongue immediately caused. He doesn't hold back anything. I felt his whole face getting into it. That's because he loves a good swig of my pussy juice as much as I love swallowing his cock and gulping up a big load of jizz. We're symbiotic.

I didn't have time or the concentration to ponder such subjects at the time though because the Yankee was doing a very professional job on my pussy and clit. Oh, Jim! You eat me so good! I moaned. Yes, I know it should be so well but I was preoccupied.

I began to hear similar utterances from my friends around us who were all thoroughly enjoying our little orgy on the raft. My favorite was from Debbie: Robbie! So fucking good! I'll wear the leash and collar tonight! Just don't stop!

Damn! Leash and collar? Robert's gotten pretty kinky! I may be missing something after all! Debbie is definitely going to get grilled about that!

We all pretty much went over the edge and came with loud moans within a couple of minutes of each other. I came as loudly as anyone else, not giving a shit about the noise by this point, and then fell face-to-face with my sweet Yankee whose face was smeared all over with my juices. I kissed his neck and locked lips with him to shove my tongue into his mouth and tasted myself all over his face. I didn't care. It wasn't the first time and won't be the last. At least I know what it tastes like if the guys ever decide that they just want to watch, like that's ever going to happen!

Nobody else seemed to mind a lapping up her own juice either as we all made out with the guys for a while. However at some point we needed some sleep. The big mud volleyball game was tomorrow!

We were all standing on the raft, about to jump in and swim for the dock when Kellie said, I have a riddle for y'all. What do you do with a mermaid whore when you're done with her?

We don't know, Olivia finally said.

You throw her back! Kellie replied.

The five of us took the hint and let our guys pick us up. They carried us to the edge and very unceremoniously dropped us in the pond. We all popped up laughing and the guys all jumped in, splashing us in the face. Boys will be boys!

I was so exhausted when we hit the bed. I hadn't really been dry since the morning. My hair was still a damp mess, but I at least took the time to brush and comb it out. Knowing that it was going to be laden with mud in the morning, I saw no reason to wash it. With our friends all coupled up in guest beds, on cots, on air mattresses or on the floor, we snuggled up together naked. Jim slipped an arm around me and cupped one tit like he likes to do, and I felt his tired manhood resting against my ass. I knew that by morning it would be ready to perform again and I fell asleep debating the pros and cons of waking him up by straddling him or sucking him. What a life!

Well, I hear that since it's summer around these parts, Taylor is going back to work full time at the Fox Estate. You may get a visit from her before I come back, but keep watching for the next chapter in this saga. I might just flash some rednecks or get hit in the face with a big blackberry cream pie. SPLAT! Or maybe that happens now. Thanks, sweetie. I love you too!