Trash the MILF

Darcie's mom finally gives in.

It's Darcie again. I know some of you want to see some other stories, but I can't help it if I'm Wetgalfan's favorite character. I think he may finally be ready to go back and visit Amber's universe, but for now, you get me.

In case you're wondering, things are going really well for Kellie and Johnny. They spent the rest of the holiday weekend in a motel near the mud park, venturing out a couple of times to eat and once to get some clean clothes at Wal-Mart. Oh, and they ended up in the pool a few times too in their new clothes. But mostly they stayed in and ordered food delivered. Johnny is apparently better, or at least bolder, when it comes to talking his woman into doing things than Jim is. Twice he dared Kellie to do the old college stunt of drop the towel, once for the pizza guy and another for the sandwich guy and she did it both times! Jim just got me to skinny dip in the dark with no one around. But on the other hand, I'm just a tad bit the closet exhibitionist. He probably would not have had to twist my arm that much. Don't tell him that! Anyway, Kellie, who is not shy about her body either as we've established, had to have a little coaxing to try it on the pizza guy. However it got Johnny so horny that the pizza was getting cold by the time they got around to eating. When he dared her to do it again for the sandwich guy, she didn't hesitate.

Now, the actual reason I'm here is to tell you what happened after that phone call I got at the end of the last story. I'd been kidding my mom since we started our business, well actually since I totally trashed my own gown at the wedding, that she should drag her gown out and give it a go. Dad would love it. She kept claiming she was going to save it for Ashley or one of the grandkids. Now Ashley had said flat out several times that she wasn't interested, but that didn't deter Mom.

What business? Oh, I forget that some of you have come in late. Beth, Debbie and I make real slapstick trash the dress videos with help from Kellie. She does all of our still photography work. We're not in it to get rich. Since our guys all like to get us messed up we make enough to continually replenish our wardrobe and Kellie has something unique she can offer a bride who wants more than the usual drown the gown sessions or tasteful photo shoots of brides rolling in mud or being painted. The grooms can get involved like we did with Olivia and Jared in our first one and it's a lot of fun for both of them. Lately, we also branched out into doing messy bachelorette parties like what we did at Sylvia's although we don't
necessarily end up messy, naked and on our knees in front of our husbands at every one!

Anyway, here is how the conversation went after I ran you guys off. Mom said she had reconsidered and thought that maybe doing a trash the dress would be the perfect gift for their thirtieth wedding anniversary.

What made you change your mind? I asked.

I just think your dad would like it, was all she would say over the phone.

We got together to talk about what she wanted to do and I pried her again for the reason for her change of heart.

Well some of the stuff we've done together and some other things just told me he'd like that sort of thing, she explained keeping tight-lipped.

I wouldn't be surprised if she found him watching videos. I get some of my best ideas from them. Women like us don't get upset over that sort of thing. We take notes with the goal that if the guys get that same thing in person; they're going to focus more of that attention on us.

Well do you have anything in mind that you'd like to do? I asked.

Well, I'm not sure, she replied but I knew she was fibbing.

Would you be more comfortable talking to Beth or Debbie instead of me?

No, of course not! she said. You've always been open about everything with me. I can do this.

All right, I started again, what sort of thing would you like to do, water, slapstick, playing in the mud?

She paused and finally said, Something really, really funny and really, really hot.

Now, I've talked about both my parents aging well in the past, but my mom especially has. Both of them are pretty young at heart and I think that helped, but they've both taken really good care of themselves, Mom especially. Her body is tone and firm with nothing sagging. People we meet for the first time will accept that she is Ashley's mother, since she came along later, but can't believe that Mom and I aren't sisters. Now, she does have a little help from the stylist with her hair color, but the rest of her is one hundred percent authentic. No one would complain a bit if she suddenly decided she wasn't shy about her body. If my mom wanted to do something hot, believe me; she could pull it off.

I'll show you some of our samples, I told her.

I started with our very first one, Olivia's trash the dress. That's funny, but so many people are involved, she said. If you're all on camera, then the guys must be running things. I don't want them involved no offense, but I just want something personal for your dad.

I showed her the one we shot where the bride just wanted us to wreck her dress. We threw pies at her and dumped all colors of slime on her and she just sat there smiling at everyone.

That's more along the lines of what I wanted, but there's no interaction, she said, and it's really not 'hot'.

We can write something custom or you can write it yourself, I told her. Let me show you something that you may get an idea from.

Now what I showed her was something from Jim's private collection. (Sorry, sweetie!) Mom said it gave her an idea and she'd get back with me. She didn't come back with just a trash the dress idea. She came back with a nearly fleshed out script for a WAM video! And it wasn't rated PG!

We needed a cake. Ashley was home from college and when she wasn't attached to Pete, I asked her to help us with our latest video project.

You always come to me when you want a nice cake, she complained. When are you gonna start paying me for them?

Then I told her what it was for. Mom's gonna trash her wedding gown.

Ok, Ashley said. Just as long as I get to be there and deliver it myself so I know that old thing isn't going to go on me! I don't blame her for not wanting Mom's dress although if I know Ashley she's going to push for some sort of lingerie wedding or something crazy.

Ashley, Beth, Debbie, Kellie and I all promised to keep this a secret from everyone, but Jim, Steven and Robert all knew we were up to something when we began frantically making cream pies. Mom worked on some too while Dad was at the store and brought them over to keep in the refrigerator in our basement play room.

We picked a Saturday to shoot. That way Jim was around to take the girls out.

Fine, run me off, he said. We'll just go to Hurricane Harbor!

We fixed Mom up so she really looked like a bride, hair, makeup, the works. The dress still looked great. It was from the '80's of course and of a different cut than most today. It had a higher neck line and sleeves that perfectly hid the contemporary wedding lingerie we found for her, (more on that later). A simple veil came down from a halo of white satin flowers.



Mom sat in a chair holding Ashley's cake and we started shooting. We had two video cameras on tripods so Beth, Debbie, Ashley and I could participate and Kellie busied herself taking stills. I still don't believe she came up with this entire script and let us do all of the things to her we did. She acted like she'd done this before! Mom must have really wanted to make Dad happy for their anniversary. She didn't forget a single line and never once broke character. She could start her own download video site called The Messy MILF.

Here is how it went. Mom looked into the camera as if she was talking to Dad. Happy Anniversary, Dan, she said. Look what I got for our special day! Mom held the extra large round cake up so the top was visible to the camera. It said, Happy 30th Dan and Kate. Ashley had gone all out. It was very fine white cake covered in thick white whipped cream icing. The lettering was 'rose red and it was decorated with red and white roses. Ashley made sure she used lots of icing.

Mom set the cake down and it was pulled out of the shot. It needed to stay looking nice for a while.

Oh, the wedding dress, Mom said, gesturing to herself, I thought I'd put it on for our special day. It still fits! She brushed her hands over her bosom and down her stomach. It did still fit after four kids!

Mom didn't hesitate and charged right on into her next line that would be the beginning of the end for her gown: Does seeing me in it again give you any ideas for something to do?

Splat! I threw a plain white Kool Whip pie in her face as hard as I could. All of the pies we were using had hard crusts and were out of the plate so it exploded out in all directions. Mom let out a surprised, Wooo! at getting pied.

She cleared her face off and tossed the pie onto the floor. Looking back into the camera, she said, Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Splat! I plastered her hard in the face with another plain white pie. Mom sort of grunted on impact this time.

She wiped off her face again and looked at the camera. All right, Dan. You've had your fun, but this has to stop. This is our special d

Splat! I pitched another white pie in her face as hard as I could. She wanted them hard. She wanted the Thwap! noise they made when they exploded. By now a lot had collected on her cleavage so after wiping her face, she gave the camera a disgusted look and dug it out.

She said, Well I suppose I should be thankful that they were all white and won't stain my dress.

Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! Ashley, Debbie Beth and I all fired salvos at her. Ashley hit her with chocolate cream, Debbie threw a pink-tinted Kool Whip, Beth's was a blue-tinted Kool Whip and I plastered her with my favorite fabric destroyer, blackberry cream.

I got prepared for the next stunt. Sweetheart, I planned tonight especially for us! she cried, looking back and forth with her face still totally covered in pie. I don't know why you want to ru

She didn't get to finish saying ruin it because I interrupted her with runny chocolate syrup I dumped over her from a five-gallon bucket. Slowly she tilted her head back into the flow to let it run over her face. She tilted her had back toward the camera and slowly shook her head back and forth.

She wiped her eyes clear and surveyed herself. With a horrified look into the camera she exclaimed, Oh no! My dress! I've got to get this into a cold water soak before the stains set in!

We took care of that for her. I poured from above and the other three girls heaved water at her from five-gallon buckets. Mom disappeared under a deluge for a second. This was the only time she came close to breaking character. She snickered a little but kept her composure. Mom flipped the gloppy water from both arms and gave the camera a perplexed look. I don't think that helped, she said.

Splat! I plastered her with a banana cream. She stood there stoically with it dripping down the front of her soaked, gloppy dress. We closed in on her face so we would be hidden. All of us on the crew were wearing identical flannel work shirts. We all put on work gloves to hide our delicate female hands. With just her arm in the picture, Debbie shoved a yellow tinted Kool Whip pie into the right side of Mom's head. Beth came in from the left and slapped a purple tinted Kool Whip pie to that side. Ashley came in from the right and plopped a chocolate cream made from runny chocolate syrup onto the top of her head and as the chocolate ran over the cream from the other pies and down her destroyed wedding gown, I came in from the left and slapped a blackberry cream into her face roundhouse-style.

We backed the shot up again and Mom stood up. Ashley took the chair away because the rest of it was going to be done with her standing up. Mom shook her head back and forth slowly then cleared her face by taking both hands and shoving the glop back into her sodden brown hair. She looked back and forth at her messy hands and with an expression on her face that conveyed total defeat, wiped her hands down the front of her wedding gown.

We put another ladder on the other side of her. Beth climbed the first with one bucket and Debbie climbed the second with another. Without a moment's hesitation, Mom delivered her next line. Totally destroyed! I don't know if anything could clean

We interrupted her once again with slime. Beth poured yellow slime over one side and Debbie poured purple over the other. Mom tilted her head back and let it pour over her face. I could see it running down the dress and puddling before overflowing the dam at her waistline and flowing on down her legs. She held her pose after the slime stopped flowing. Ashley and I handed two more buckets up to Beth and Debbie.

Really? Mom snapped. Is that really all ya got?

Beth and Debbie poured out covering her from both sides with runny chocolate syrup. Mom put her hands up in annoyance, but kept looking up into the flow of chocolate that was quickly turning her totally brown.

This is where the video went from being a messy TTD to a total WAM shoot. I pulled Mom's zipper down so she wouldn't have to fumble with it and got her dress to stay up as best I could. It was really starting to droop anyway.

FINE! I get it! You don't like the dress, she said, trying to look a little annoyed. Maybe she used the fact that we were really letting the thrown pies go as hard as we could. She grunted or whimpered for every one. Mom pulled her sloppy rag of a wedding gown off, audibly tearing it a little in the process, and let it drop to the floor where she kicked it away with one ruined silver-white satin pump. She stood glaring at the camera in the bridal lingerie I mentioned earlier. This picture doesn't do it justice now though with so much pie and slime that had run down the dress, not to mention being soaked with water.



Happy now, sweetie? she asked sarcastically. Is this the result you wanted?

Splat! Splat! Splat! Splat! We all heaved tinted Kool Whip pies at her as hard as we could. Mom grunted or shrieked when each one exploded in her face. She slowly and deliberately wiped the cream back into her hair and shook her head in disgust.

We handed her a pink tinted Kool Whip. Two can play at this game! she snarled and cocked it back.

Splat! I plastered her with an orange tinted Kool Whip pie. Mom grunted again at the hard hit but refused to break character. She groaned and wiped the pie down her face. She cocked the pie back again. Splat! Beth decked her with a blackberry cream. Mom growled as she wiped the pie off with one hand. She sighed loudly and shook her head before cocking the pie back a third time. Splat! Debbie nailed her with a chocolate cream.

FINE! she yelled without clearing anything. She brought her pie down in front of her and slammed it into her own face with both hands. Then she snarled, If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! and stuck out her tongue, adding, Nyahh!

Splat! Ashley pitched a green tinted Kool Whip into her face that made her grunt louder than any of the others. Ashley is vicious! Pete must really love them in his face for her to have developed that much of an arm.

Now comes the part in the video where the victim finally gives in and starts to enjoy herself. Messy Girl, Pie Fight Girls and Pie Vids all have sexy videos that follow that formula. I wonder how many she'd found on the computer and watched when Dad wasn't around to take notes. She wiped off her face and let out a loud exhale. I guess I shouldn't be upset, she said and winked at the camera. You went to a lot of trouble to do this. She cocked her eyebrow up and turned slightly to say with a sly grin, Anything else you wanna do?

Splat! I plastered her in the face with a plain white Kool Whip. She stood up straight facing the camera again and Debbie and Beth tossed runny chocolate syrup pies that exploded in both of her tits and Ashley pied her garter belt with a blackberry cream. Mom cleared her face and made a silly Tee Hee giggle and then rubbed the chocolate syrup all over her bra and down her arms.

She turned around and bent over to show off her bare butt cheeks sticking out of the garter with nothing but a thong to cover anything. Wiggling her ass at the camera, she asked, Give you any ideas?

Splat! Splat! Beth and Debbie nailed her from both sides with a green tinted and a blue tinted Kool Whip. Mom rubbed the glop around her ass and down the back of her legs. (This whole thing is awkward for me to describe to you, but she did such a damn good job that I just had to share this story.)

Beth and I climbed back up the ladders with buckets. Mom put her finger up to one side of her mouth in a pondering pose and bubbled, I hear noises above my head, but I just don't know what you're up to!

I poured one five-gallon bucket of chocolate syrup over her head and Beth poured a bucket full of pink slime. Since she was now in the enjoying herself phase, she was free to giggle as she held her silly pose under the pink and brown deluge. She blinked her eyes open when it stopped and slid her finger across her bare cleavage above her bra and licked the slime and chocolate off. (Our slime is 100% cake batter with a little oatmeal thrown in sometimes, no baby shampoo. It's 100% edible.)

Mmmmm! she purred and then opened her eyes wide and said, Cherry cordial!

Splat! Ashley plastered her in the face with a cherry cream pie.

Mom dug the pie out of her eyes and said, This had been fun and all, but I think it's time to wash up.

Debbie and I each tossed a five-gallon bucket of water on her. It rinsed the heavy stuff off, but she still had that slimy, sticky film all over her bare skin. You guys know what I'm talking about when a girl in a video has taken about twenty pies and it's been rubbed all over her. Thanks, she said, absently rubbing slimy water over her bra, garter and stockings.

Next came another I can't believe my mother wants me to do this, moments. I just had to think of her as a client. I'd been after her for months to do something with us for Dad. I need to be careful what I wish for. Hey, we were getting paid anyway. We snipped her bra straps and the back of it so it was just being held together by threads.

We closed the shot in so we were just getting her on the main camera from the stomach up. I crouched in front of her out of the shot with the work glove on my hand. Mom put her fists on her hips and gave the camera sort of a sly but scolding gaze, the kind you give a guy when you catch him up to something but you have every intention of letting him get away with it. You've been such an imp today, she said in a tone that matched her gaze. No telling what you might try next.

I reached into the shot and grabbed the center of her bra and yanked. It didn't give without some resistance which made her bend and stumble forward a little (all the funnier). However the only threads holding the straps and the back together did give up and the bra ripped away from her breasts, leaving her topless and staring into the camera. Mom shot up straight, making her tits jiggle (See? We all know how to do it!). She put her hands up to the sides of her face and opened her mouth in the classic Macaulay Culkin Home Alone pose with her mouth open in shock.

Splat! Splat! Splat! Beth plastered her in the face with a chocolate cream. Ashley splattered a blackberry cream into her bare right tit and Debbie fired a cherry cream into her right. As loud as they sounded exploding against her skin, they had to sting, but Mom didn't as much as flinch.

Beth and Debbie climbed up the ladders to get ready. So, rinse me off and then just mess me up again, eh? Mom asked slyly. Oh well, you may as well slime me again too!

She threw her arms out and her head back in anticipation, but nothing happened.

She put her arms down and looked at the camera. What's the matter? You can slime me all you want, but I can't ask for it? She paused as if listening to Dad say something. I have to say the secret phrase? she asked the camera. But I don't know the secret phrase!

Beth poured out green slime and Debbie poured chocolate. (Mom wrote this. She loves chocolate. What woman doesn't?) Oh, boy! Mom squealed and tilted her head back to face the deluge. She absently rubbed her tits, mixing the slime, chocolate and pie. Eyes shut and her face still totally obscured, she faced the camera once the slime stopped pouring and said, Mmmmm, you sure know how to treat a girl. No, she wasn't channeling me. That was my one addition to the script.

She cleaned her face off and looked down. My, my, what a mess you created in here! she commented. We tilted the camera down and Mom dropped to the floor with her legs spread open. (It's not that bad! She still had her thong, garter and stockings on!) She sat there and played in the glop, rubbing it all over her ala Messy Girl for two minutes. She rubbed the combination of filling, whipped cream, chocolate and slime all over her bare skin and her stockings and garter. She piled it on her head, smoothing it into her hair and turning it into a pasty mop. (Good god, I wonder if she does some of the other stuff I do! Oh, what the hell! If she does, good for her! Wives who have the happiest husbands do things that hookers charge extra for!) Laughing the whole time, she scooped up handfuls of pie and shoved them in her face. Finally, she took her off shoes, (that had once been silver-white satin), scooped both of them full of glop and we put her feet in close up for her to slip them back on and let the glop ooze out of each one.

We backed the camera out again to show her sitting there covered in sticky mess. She looked down at her gloppy tits and then looked back up at the camera. Go ahead. You know you want to! she said to the camera. I fired a blue tinted Kool Whip pie into her bare breasts. She looked into the camera beaming a surprised simile and I grabbed a blackberry cream and plastered her in the face with it. She dug her eyes out and blew a kiss to the camera.

We set up for our finale. We didn't want her clean, just wiped off so the four of us and Mom used the sides of our hands as scrapers and scooped the sticky glop off her, leaving her with that shiny, sticky sheen a woman in pie looks so sexy wearing, (at least according to my husband).

You haven't broken character once, even while we were getting ready for a shot, I said. It's ok to talk to us.

Sorry, Mom said. I didn't know if I would mess up anything. Plus I've sort of been concentrating on pretending that it's just your dad here instead of you and Ashley and your friends.

So I wasn't the only one to admit to a little awkwardness. That's ok, Mom, I replied. I had to keep telling myself that you were a client.

She was ready for the last couple of shots. She was covered head-to-toe in a slick sheen and her hair was a matted mess of pie and slime that we slicked behind her and down her back. Mom assumed a pin-up pose with her hands on her hips and one knee slightly bent forward. Dan, sometimes you are such a clown! she said, shaking her head a little when she punched the word such. The four of us unleashed a pie barrage of about thirty pies, hitting her mostly in the face, but about every fourth time either in the tits or the crotch. Mom held her pose, snickering as she slowly vanished under increasing layers of filling, crust and whipped cream. When the barrage finally stopped, Mom wiped pie from her face and off her breasts, Tee Hee-ing into the camera.

The last scene was her holding the cake again so the camera could see the top. Look, Dan; we didn't even touch our cake! she said. She handed it to Ashley who was wearing work gloves to reach into the shot. You can have the honors, Mom said. I'm sure you know what to do.

There was a dramatic pause. My messy, topless mom sat looking at the camera with a goofy schoolgirl crush smile on her face. Ashley got the cake balanced in one hand standing next to Mom just out of the shot and then swung it around roundhouse style and smashed it hard into Mom's face, neck and tits. (I told you it was big.) Ashley let the cardboard tray fall and there sat Mom COVERED in gooey whipped cream icing and the fine cake stuck to her everywhere. If it was anyone else, I would have had to find Jim or Mr. Chubby. I wanted to anyway but I suppressed the urge.

What happened next verified for me for good just where Ashley and I get it. Mom sat there smiling a blissful, submissive smile. It was the same one Olivia had on her face when Jared ripped her gown off and shoved her in the pond. It's the same one I had on my face standing naked in the garage after Jim stole the towel I'd rode home wrapped up in or I get every time my wet clothes start getting torn off me on the raft to leave me naked outdoors. I'd done several I miss you videos where I get wet or messy, so I had learned to do it without Jim actually being there. Now here was my mother making a video for my father with that same expression the one that says, Do whatever you want. I love you!

She looked down at the cake and icing covering her all the way down to her stomach and giggled. She dug some out from between her tits and ate it off her hand. Mmmmm, that's good! she purred.

Looking straight into the camera she said, Happy Anniversary, Dan. I love you so! Maybe we can get another cake and you can serve yourself like this tonight! She dug some more out from between her tits with one finger and licked it off.

We cut there and Mom got to take out her revenge, plastering each one of us as hard as she could. Hell, it was about time! I didn't think I could go that long seeing someone else getting pied without joining in.

We edited out all of our getting ready between scenes and cut all of the pauses we that were in that final pie barrage so it looked like she got all thirty of them one right after the other. We burned it to a Blu-ray and Mom said she was going to pop it in as soon as they got back from dinner on their anniversary that following Friday. Not that we were spying or anything, but about thirty minutes after they got back, Dad jumped in the car and took off again in a big hurry. It looked like he was carrying a cake box when he got back! He usually mowed the lawn on Saturday morning, but we didn't see any signs of life over there until well into the afternoon!

I'd always kidded about having my suspicions about my mom, even though she was the one who taught me that it wasn't momma's happiness (like so many progressive types want you to believe) but rather poppa's happiness that sets the tone for the entire house. I'm as independent as anybody. However I also want my man to treat me like an absolute whore when we're alone and know that no matter what twisted way he wants to violate me, I'll always come back for more. Moore women are just that way. I know two guys now who know and appreciate it and one who needs to relax and stop treating my sister like he's going to break her. (I shouldn't say that anymore. I guess he finally cut loose at that sorority rave.)

Anyway, if it was possible, Mom got even closer to Ash and me that day. She's like a girlfriend to all of us now that everything is out in the open. Mom told Ashley about how she'd pieced together most of what went on between her and Pete and Ashley spilled the beans about the rest. She didn't include everything that happened at the rave. (I don't think she still believes all of it.) However together we did tell the story about what happened that got me in trouble with Jim and why she thought she saw me streaking into the garage.

Knowing all of that doesn't bother you? I asked when Mom and I were alone together. About Ashley I mean. After all, I was married. I get to do whatever I want.

Good god, Darcie, Mom exclaimed. This isn't the Victorian era! Those two have the good sense to put off getting married until they're both out of college. As long as they're protected, do you think I expect them to put everything else off too?

And so it goes. Ashley can live more out in the open and not watch what she says so much, which is something that was nearly impossible for her anyway, and we all get a new girlfriend to hang out with. I think we've even got a volunteer if any of our slapstick trash the dress videos call for a sexy MILF.