Darcie Breaks Down

Hi, everyone! I know it's been a long time since I've done a story. Well, as long as you don't count that crazy Captain Darcie thing. I mean seriously: Like I would ever get stripped naked in front of friends! Oh yeah; I did that. Well like I'd really have a sexual encounter with a bunch of friends around. Yeah, I know. I've done that too. Well at lease I'd never let Jim totally destroy the bedroom with water, pies and slime while I was getting myself off. Mmmmm, let's just say I probably wouldn't.
Anyway, I know you were expecting to hear about wet or messy adventures at Sylvia's wedding. Well unfortunately, Sylvia had Nancy to deal with. The only way that Nancy would agree to show up after the trashing she got at Sylvia's party was for Sylvia to promise her that there would be nothing out of the ordinary at the wedding or reception. I personally was hoping to help Sylvia try to break my record for the most thoroughly trashed wedding day bride, but we had to keep it low key. We were able to convince the hotel night clerk to let us into the pool after Nancy had gone to bed and Kellie took some tasteful drown the gown photos while we shot video, but that was about it.
A bright spot was that with the pool open, and after Kellie was done, Beth, Debbie, Liv and I all went up and changed into trashy mini-skirts and really tight white t-shirts and came back down to let our guys throw us in the pool for an all-night wet t-shirt contest. Kellie saw us and came down to join us. Even though she didn't have anyone, (still hunting for a decent boyfriend), she didn't seem to mind the guys being there. After all, she was part of our little skinny-dipping party after Olivia's Trash the Dress. To top that off, she wore a sheer top that everyone could see through BEFORE she got it wet.
The other bummer though, was that while Trent and Sylvia were on their honeymoon, it turned chilly. She was able to salvage her dress after drowning it in the pool and wanted to do one of our slapstick trash the dress videos with Trent. It was too cold to swim in the pond so we had to do everything indoors. All of her bridesmaids and Olivia volunteered to be in it with her, as well as their dad Nate's new fianc, Marcy, (who was the same age as Liv!) We turned it into a messy cat fight at the reception between all of them with Olivia and the bridesmaids all in their wedding finest. It didn't really break new ground though, so I didn't want to commit a whole story to it.
So why am I here? Well after the cold snap came a long cold winter and that is unusual for northeast Texas, but it finally warmed up and got back to normal. I remember telling you about Mom and Dad's thirtieth wedding anniversary coming up this year and I am still trying to get her to put on that wedding gown (which she can still fit in) for some pies in the face or a dunk in the pond or the mud or all of the above. I promise to let you know how that works out too.
Why I am really here is to tell you about a little mishap that happened to Beth, Debbie, Kellie and me. Like I said, despite the harsh winter, summer came on schedule, (around mid-April; eat your hearts out), and one Saturday in late May the four of us had a lunch meeting with a bride who was going to use Kellie for her wedding pictures and had heard about our other venture and was curious. It ended on a promising note and we were headed back home in a torrential rainstorm. It wasn't lightning, just another one of those heavy downpours like the one that Jim had proposed to me in or had turned my outdoor wedding into formal-dress swim party.
I was driving my new car, a GMC Acadia. Except for this one little incident, which our local GMC dealer apologized profusely for when we picked it up from warranty service, it's been absolutely great. We had all dressed for success. We were all in skirted business suits. Mine was a satin, very similar to the one I wore for Olivia's video shoot. It was sort of a dark pink color and I had a lighter pink silk blouse on underneath. I wore nude panty hose and pumps that nearly matched the suit. In retrospect, it was probably a poor choice for a rainy day. Then again none of us made good outfit choices that day. (Or we made great ones depending on who you talk to.) Beth's was light lavender with sort of a heavy cotton feel to it. If it wasn't smooth, you'd call the material corduroy. Underneath was a white cotton blouse. She also wore nude panty hose and bone colored pumps. Debbie and Kellie were both more conservative. Debbie's suit was Navy Blue and Kellie's was gray pin stripe. Both were designed to be worn without a blouse underneath. They both wore black pumps and nude panty hose. We all had conservative-looking jewelry to counter our skirts being a little risquand coming up to mid-thigh. Beth and Debbie wore pearl strings. Kellie and I had pendants. We looked like the original sexy power team.
The quickest way from the restaurant to our little suburban town, (which I shall continue to keep anonymous), was through an area of industrial buildings and old warehouses. There were no sidewalks, only wide shoulders. We were negotiating through a very large puddle, more like a flooded out portion of the street, when suddenly some little part in the fuel pump failed. Of course I didn't know that at the time. I just knew it stopped running. I thought the puddle had flooded it.
I had just enough momentum to coast into the parking lot of this out-of-business bar. We were right on the edge of the puddle which if you didn't mind swimming in mud, oil and road grit was deep enough to use as a wading pool.
Damn. It must have flooded out, I said.
Lovely, Beth commented from the passenger seat.
I tried to start it several times, but instead of being flooded, it wasn't delivering gas.
Now what? Debbie asked.
Now I call in the expert, I replied. Being a woman I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the one who would save us: Jim, sweetie? The car died.
Your new one? he asked. Well duh!
Yes, my new car, I replied without adding the duh. Can you come out here and look at it?
Where are you? he asked.
In front of that old bar on Clementine; next to the old steel plant.
Well stay put and wait for me, he replied. I'll come out and take a look at it but if I can't figure it out, I'm calling roadside assistance. That's what the warranty is for.
We sat listening to the rain hammer the top after I hung up. Then it seemed to let up a bit.
I'm going to look under the hood, I declared. I was a tom-boy. I grew up riding and fiddling with the ATV's and the Gator. I'd spent dozens of Saturdays smeared with oil and grease helping Jim work on the Blazer. Of course, I would have kept a lot cleaner if Jim hadn't purposely smeared me with oil and grease. But when you're stuck working under a car with a guy who enjoys seeing you messy, what are you going to do? (Especially when you know how excited he gets when he makes a mess out of you!)
Anyway, I figured if it was something simple, I could spot it pretty fast. Boy, was I wrong! The four of us stood huddled under our umbrellas, wading in about a half-inch of standing water in our pumps while we stared under the hood at nothing I recognized. New engines sure looked a lot different than what was in a 1983 Chevy Blazer.
Well this is useless, I said. Let's get back in the car. My shoes were soaked through already and probably ruined and my hose were getting soaked by the rain from my knees down.
I held the hood up and Beth undid the prop. I only had a split second to process what I saw after I dropped the hood back down. A car had pulled out in front of a semi, forcing the driver to swerve toward the gravel lot where we were sitting and the huge mud puddle that took up the front of it and the entire right lane of the street. We were lined up around the front of my car. Kellie was closest to the street next to the driver's side fender and facing away from the street. I was in front of the driver's side, Beth was in the middle and Debbie was furthest away in front of the passenger's side. The semi cab came plowing through the muddy puddle. Just before the wave hit me, I saw the horrified look on the driver's face. We weren't in any danger of getting run over, but she knew she was about to drench and muddy four well-dressed ladies.
I clenched my eyes shut and waited for the soaking. I hope the driver caught the little grin I had on my face before we lost eye contact. I wasn't in any hurry to ruin one of my best suits, but if the powers that be wanted me wet and messy today, who was I to argue? The muddy water came at us at just the right height to go up under our umbrellas. Being closest to the road, Kellie and I caught the worst end of it. I was soaked through instantly and I felt a big blob of mud explode against my cheek and plop down onto my shoulder. Tiny grains of road grit peppered my face and neck.
Unlike me, Kellie had no idea what was about to happen. The muddy water splashed her up and down her back, soaking her through her suit and underwear. The gray material turned nearly black. What the fu she began as she spun around, but as what happened next took only a split second, she never had a chance to finish it.
The truck was still passing us when I involuntarily backed up, leaving a less drenched Beth and Debbie more vulnerable. The puddle had just enough time to refill before the trailer's wheels came plowing through an especially muddy spot. A wave of dark brown water roared at us, getting us all equally. Gooey brown mud splattered all four of us in the front and evening out Kellie's gray suit so she was completely soaked. I dropped my umbrella when I lost my balance back peddling and I ended up on my butt in the half-inch deep water we were wading in to look under the hood. I looked up at Beth and she looked just like she did that first time Jared hammered the two of us with the Blazer. Her lavender suit was brown from her neck down and her face was covered in mud that was also splattered up into her hair. Her eyes were clenched shut and just like that time behind the sorority house, she was stifling the giggles. Debbie's blue suit fared no better and she got nailed in the face by the mud as bad as Beth did. It looked even funnier splattered up into her blond hair. Her mouth was wide open in a shocked smile.
I looked the most pathetic sitting on my ass in the puddle getting even more soaked by the rain. My pink suit was tinted brown all over the front and probably even worse on my ass. I could tell I was sitting in soft mud. Spring is really just summer part 1 down here and thankfully it was a pretty warm day and neither the rain nor the puddle was very cold. I started to laugh hysterically and enjoy the feeling of the muddy water soaking all the way through my panties and bra. If you can't help being a mess, you may as well enjoy it.
Fuck! Kellie finally got to complete, wiping mud and road grit from her face. What the hell? In that split second we'd gone from being dry and clean except for wet shoes and panty hose to totally drenched and covered head-to-toe in mud.
Still like hanging with us, Kellie? Debbie asked after she wiped the mud and grit from around her mouth.
Beth chimed in, This sort of stuff happens all the time! I blame Darcie! Both Debbie and Kellie had heard the stories of how Jared and Robert had seemed to always find any excuse to come roaring down the flooded street behind our sorority house and how Beth and I, and sometimes a few more sisters, had found any excuse to be standing beside the curb at the same time.
The semi truck's tires skidded to a stop while the four of us were laughing at each other and Beth helped me up. As soon as I heard the brake set, the passenger door swung open and the driver jumped down missing all of the truck's assist steps entirely. She was not what I expected to see getting out of that big eighteen-wheeler. She looked to be about twenty-seven or twenty-eight, around five-four, wearing short-top work boots with socks just peaking over the tops, short, O.D. green cargo shorts that were pretty tight, a white French-cut t-shirt with a Route 66 logo on it and a Duck Dynasty ball cap with her red ponytail pulled through the sizing strap hole.
Shit! Are you all right? she yelled as she sloshed through an even deeper part of the puddle that took up much of the far end of the gravel parking lot.
All four of us were laughing. Now soaked to the skin, I retrieved my umbrella and took it down. Kellie, Beth and Debbie took theirs down too. There really wasn't any use in any of us having them now. We were all drenched and covered with mud. Which reminds me Why does the guy in the Progressive Insurance commercial, the one that is a parody of The Notebook ask Flo for an umbrella at the end? They're both soaked beyond any reason to care about it anymore. If I get that soaked in the rain, the last thing I'm looking for is an umbrella. I'm looking for someplace to play in the water. By the way, that is currently Jim's favorite commercial. I don't blame him. Flo makes a really cute wet girl.
We're fine! Beth shouted back.
Oh! God! I'm so sorry! the trucker pleaded as she approached us. I saw you fall down! Are you sure you're all right?
I'm fine. I promise, I replied. Turning around and showing off my mud-covered ass I added, Luckily I landed in a soft spot!
But you're soaked and a mess! she continued, pointing out the obvious.
It's what we get for not listening to my husband, I replied.
Yeah, Debbie mocked. He told us to wait for him, but Darcie had to check the car out for herself!
I playfully kicked water at Debbie. Muddy and soaked, she simply clenched up and took it with a squeal. Her blue suit, like all of ours, was thoroughly ruined.
The trucker watched us with a puzzled look on her face. It must come as a shock to normal people that we could get trashed like this in such good clothes and not get upset. While she wasn't covered in mud like we were, she was on her way to getting soaked out there with us. I hadn't noticed earlier, but the rain was coming down hard again. Amazing how once you're soaked, you don't notice those things. The trucker, whose name we learned was Ann, had thoroughly drenched her work boots running through the puddle to get to us. Now the rain was soaking her more and more by the second. Each time I looked at her t-shirt, the more apparent the purple bra was becoming inside of it. Water dripped from the bill of her cap and was beginning to run off her ponytail onto the back of her shirt in a steady stream.
Of course we had room to talk. I could feel streams of water rolling from the hem of my skirt and saw the same on my three friends. My soaked panties rode up into my butt crack. That's the greatest feeling in the world next to having your underwear filled with mud. I leaned on the hood and folded my knees up behind me one at a time to feel the water squishing through my panty hose. Then I absently rubbed my neck and felt the road grit splashed up on my bare skin.
I feel responsible for this, though, Ann said after a long pause. Look at your clothes!
Honestly, I began, it's just water and mud nothing that's going to hurt us. Don't feel bad.
You're not upset? she asked.
Now who would ever think that one of us would get upset by getting splattered by a little mud? Of course Ann didn't know us. We were all standing in the rain between the car and the road. I was just about to answer Ann when a teenage kid driving a 90's-something Chevy Caprice saw us standing there totally destroyed, (well four of us anyway), and (correctly) figured we wouldn't mind another mud bath. He roared through the water laughing his ass off and split the puddle covering all five of us in a giant wave of soupy mud and road grit. I could feel the grit in my hair as water streamed from it down my face and on the sides.
Shit! Ann exclaimed. She was pretty well mud-covered and totally drenched by now and she turned and glared at the kid, flipping him off. Beth, Debbie and now Kellie were giggling amongst themselves. After all Kellie really was one of us at heart. However Ann was really pissed. I figured I'd better do something to lighten things up.
FINE! I shouted toward the road. You rednecks want me? COME AND GET ME! I continued shouting as I stomped through the puddle getting deeper and deeper and finally stopped at the edge of the lot in water that was up to my ankles even with my pumps on. I threw my arms out open wide and stood waiting in the rain which was pouring once again.
Now ever since that first time Jared and Robert spread that puddle and hid Beth and me under a wall of muddy water, I've lived by the assumption that a redneck will always be around when you want one. Today was no exception. I only had to stand there in my muddy business suit for a few seconds before a guy in an old Ford four-by-four pickup, complete with roll bar and mounted lights, laid on his horn and swerved into the deepest part of the puddle. Beth, Kellie and Debbie shrieked, Ann screamed out, OH FUCK! and I stood my ground with a blissful grin on my face as a giant wall of water, mud and road grit bombarded me. It was that feeling of being at Six Flags on the bridge over the water ride's drop hill that Beth and I experienced thanks to Jared all over again. The force of the water made me buckle a little. It hammered me hard in the front and I looked like I'd simply got down and rolled in the mud in the parking lot. So did Beth, Debbie, Kellie and Ann for that matter although I took the brunt of it. I have to confess to it making me just a wee bit horny. I hoped Jim would get there soon.
Ann just stood there in the rain with an open-mouthed look of shock on her face. Beth and Debbie composed themselves after several seconds of guttural laughter. It took Kellie a little longer. We had to look like morons standing there in the rain covered in mud in our suits, but it was so much fun!

We forgot to tell you that Darcie's fucking nuts! Beth managed to say between giggles.

The redneck pulled over behind Ann's truck and yelled out the window, Are you fucking nuts? echoing Beth's comment.
That combination of a redneck and a sorority girl who helped get our chapter nicknamed The Wet Girls took over. Hey, you hillbilly! I bet you do don't have the balls to do that again! I yelled.
Beth doubled over laughing. I was reliving daring Jared to come back and nail us again.
WHAT? he yelled in astonishment.
You heard me, you redneck! I called back. I bet you won't try that again!
He just gaped at me for a second, getting his hair and shirt soaking wet in the pouring rain with a WTF? expression. Then he looked at the other girls and got a wicked grin. Only if it's all five of you! he replied.
Thanks a lot, Darc! Debbie shouted.
What have we got to lose? Kellie added and my friends started toward the edge of the road.
Wait! Ann interjected. You're going to let that guy splash you just because she DARED him to?
Yeah, my friends answered in unison.
After staring at each other, Beth finally said, Oh come on! You're as wrecked as we are and you were the first one to splash us!
You had to bring that up! Ann said. She relented adding, I guess if anybody deserves it, it's me, a smile coming to her face for the first time since she jumped out of her truck. Ann set her hat on the hood of my car and the four of them waded through the puddle to join me.
It's all on you, macho man! I shouted to the guy in the pickup. We're waiting!
The guy laughed and slipped back into the driver's seat. He turned around and ran back up to the end of the block where he spun around again and came roaring back toward the puddle. He found an especially muddy spot and spread it wide open, pasting all five of us in a coat of mud, sand and road grit. He laid on his horn and disappeared up the street.
See? That wasn't so bad! I said to Ann. Brown mud was pasted all through her hair and down her front, obscuring for the moment her purple bra that had shown though her t-shirt. She grinned back at me. This what you do for fun around here?
Oh, sometimes, I admitted, but usually not dressed this nicely. We just figured once our clothes were fucked, why not?
Oh, what the hell! I'm definitely wrecked now anyway! Ann said. There's a FedEx truck. I bet I can get him to nail us!
She stepped around me and waved both hands over her head at the driver. Soak me, big boy! she shouted. Let all of us have it!
The driver was more than happy to. He swerved toward us and served us another helping of muddy water and road grit. We all squealed and giggled.
We each took turns tempting drivers to hammer us with muddy water. Ann had the best luck. Some people were reluctant to splash dressed up women, even if they were begging for it, but we still found plenty of people to help us out though. Teenage boys were the best. I think they're out looking for anyone to splash. We just happened to ask for it. Beth and I unbuttoned our jackets and held them open so those who pasted us with mud and grit could have an equal chance to ruin our blouses as well as our suits.

Look who's coming! Debbie said, pointing to a familiar Ford pickup with a light bar in the back.
We all turned around and shook our muddy asses at the street shouting, Sock it to us! Our new friend split the puddle again and hammered our backsides with refreshing muddy water. We jumped around and laughed. Ann was totally into it now.
He pulled over and got out, walking around to the back of his truck in the rain. How long are you crazy ladies going to be here? he asked.
At least until my husband comes to pick us up, I replied. My car stalled and we decided we may as well have a little fun!
So y'all are married? he asked, looking a little disappointed.
Kellie got a bit of a wicked look. Oh boy! I mouthed to Beth and Debbie as Kellie suddenly turned and walked his way.
I'm not! she shouted back.
We laughed watching our bedraggled, muddy friend wade through the parking lot over to the pickup guy who was getting totally drenched in the rain himself. Of course jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt from the last Louisiana Mud Fest (I knew he looked familiar.) were not nearly as much of a loss as our business suits. Of course by now we had totally accepted that our clothes were wasted.
Bye! Kellie called waving as the soggy guy pulled away in his truck. She sloshed her way back through the puddle and started to say something but had to pause so our young friend in the Chevy Caprice could add another layer of mud and road grit to our lovely appearance. He looked like he was having such a great time at our expense.
Come back anytime, sweetie! Beth called out to him. We love you! (God, I love being a total moron!)
That's Johnny, Kellie finally reported about her encounter. We're going out tonight!
You're going on a date with some guy you met because he was splashing us with his truck? Debbie asked.
Beth and I again shared a guttural laugh. Robert and I had known each other casually, but it was a day like this that began that romance. Maybe Debbie just didn't make that connection because I was sure she knew that whole story. Anyway, I wasn't about to fault Kellie for moving fast. I gave Jim unlimited access to the inside of my pants after knowing him a week and that's worked out pretty well I think.
Ann was just smiling and taking it all in while we stood there in the pouring rain discussing Kellie's potential love life.
You three all have guys who like to do this sort of shit to you all the time and you all seem happy, Kellie replied. Besides, it's just dinner at One the Border and we're meeting there. I'm not going to suck his dick or anything.
We all giggled and then Kellie added with a twinkle in her eye, At least not right away!
We were so caught up in Kellie getting a date with the redneck, er, Johnny that we missed the FedEx driver Ann had baited into plastering us earlier come around the corner. I had my back to the puddle and didn't know anything was happening until I heard the sound of the water being spread. He must have found the same especially muddy and gritty spot that Johnny had when I dared him to nail us again because I didn't feel much water, only soupy mud and lots of sand and grit, which peppered me in the back and really got into my hair. Oh well, I'd stood here asking for it. I was just getting what I deserved.
I got an idea of what my back looked like by looking at Ann and Kellie's fronts as they were facing the street and looked like they'd both dove face-first into the mud. Both of them were giggling behind their muddy masks. Ann wiped her face, but Kellie just leaned her head back and let the rain rinse most of the muddy glop from her face.
Hey! Look who's coming! Debbie exclaimed pointing up the street. A familiar Chevy Blazer, the one responsible for some of my most favorite sessions getting pasted with mud and grit was coming up the street from the opposite direction that the cars and trucks which had so thoroughly destroyed us had been coming. Jim paused across from us like he was going to turn in, but I saw him start laughing and he drove on and turned around to come back up our side of the street.
C'mon! C'mon! Line up quick! I commanded.
We all ran through the water up to the very edge of the street and got in a line, me, Beth, Debbie, Kellie and Ann. The four of us with skirts on reached down with one hand and pulled up the hem a little and we all stuck out a leg in front and extended a thumb to hitch hike. Jim roared right toward us and yes, I know this is crazy, but even though I was soaked, the sound of that big Chevy 5.7 liter engine made my pussy a little bit wetter. You see, much like what Olivia felt when she first let Jared shove her in the pond in her wedding gown, or what I felt after my punishment when Jim stole the towel I was wrapped in so I was left outdoors bare ass naked or any time I stood before him taking pie after pie wherever he wanted to hit me with them, I was enjoying that feeling that I described as very feminine and a little bit submissive. I know the militant feminists out there HATE this, but I enjoy Jim letting me have it. I always have and more than ever now that he can do anything he wants. You see one day I dragged him into Lover's Lane lingerie and gifts and while I was looking at something really, really trashy, he wandered into the toy department and found a little something he could slip on that has the same effect on me that the special dildos Ashley, Taylor and Joy were using during that messy rave story did. I told Beth, Debbie, Olivia and Sylvia about his toy, they each got one and now we're all totally under the guys' spell and LOVING it!
Anyway, that's enough about my submissive streak. My anticipation was rewarded in the next instant. My hubby split the puddle wide open and somehow he found the gooiest mud of anyone that day. I thought Kellie and Ann looked like they had dove in the mud before, but that was nothing compared to what Jim did to us. All five of us looked like someone had tossed cans of brown paint at us! Brown slime carrying tiny grains of road grit slid down my blouse, between my boobs and settled in my bra. All I needed now was some mud caked inside my panties to make the day complete!
Yee ha! Debbie shouted.
I take it that was your husband, Ann said through a muddy smile and then spit some from her mouth.
Jim turned around and pulled up next to my car. The driver's window rolled down and he immediately snapped a picture of us with his phone. The pouring rain was already beginning to rinse some of his mud bath off, but we were still destroyed enough to get another photo for my favorites collection.
Didn't I tell you to stay put? he asked with an impish grin on his face.
And if we had, would you have been able to get away with that? I shot right back.
Who's your friend?
Jim, meet Ann, I replied. It's all her fault we ended up like this. Ann blushed and gave Jim a sheepish wave.
Uh huh, Jim grunted back. You looked like you were having a pretty good time out there to me.
Never miss an opportunity to act like a lunatic, Beth said.
Never mind. Just let me look at your car.
Jim tried to start it and of course got nowhere. He called roadside assistance and they promised to send a tow.
Now the question is: What am I going to do with you while the guy is picking up the car? Jim pondered.
We can wait in my truck, Ann suggested. I don't mind the water so much, but I'd rather not make it a muddy mess.
Let's get a shower then, Debbie bubbled and pointed to the old bar where the drain pipe had broken free from the gutter. The relentless down pour made a constant deluge.
Screaming and giggling, we all made a run for the building and took our turns standing under the stream. It was a little cold, but after standing out in it and getting splashed over and over by puddle water, we were all pretty numb to it by now anyway. It's funny how you can be dressed to swim and a really cold pool just ruins the experience, but get caught in the rain or jump in a chilly stream on a hike and you don't notice the cold water. Jim shielded his phone and took videos of all of us taking our showers which we naturally hammed it up for. Even Ann was as loose as the rest of us. Jim got an eyeful of her purple bra under that sheer t-shirt and her tight wet shorts once she had most of the mud rinsed away. I always let him get away with that. He's such a gem that he deserves some leeway. Jim was getting pretty wet too, but I guess he figured he would be dealing with a stalled car in the rain anyway. He was wearing his camo cargo shorts, a sleeveless blue t-shirt and a pair of rubber loafers from Crocs.
I didn't want to get out of the water once I got under that stream pouring out of the broken drain. I had the same euphoria I had during the wedding once I accepted that my dress was a total loss. I totally went nuts for Jim's videos, wiggling my butt at him and opening my jacket up to show off my red bra under the sheer wet fabric.
We always had beach towels in the Blazer, especially during warmer weather. We ladies dried ourselves and climbed up into Ann's cab. Jim toweled himself off and waited in the Blazer. A flatbed arrived a little later and loaded up the Acadia and hauled it off to the dealer. (They had it fixed on Monday and it's been trouble-free ever since.) Little did Jim know we were conspiring against him while we huddled in Ann's tractor in our towels.
Are you four ready to go home now? my sweetie opened Ann's passenger door and asked. Jim was drenched by this point, but still fared better than we did. While most of the mud was washed off, all of our clothes were tinted mud brown and we all had road grit where road grit didn't belong.
Not just yet, sweetheart, I bubbled as I climbed down and got hold of him. All five of us began to push him back over by the street.
Jim gave no resistance as we steered him over to where we'd found we'd get the maximum splatter from cars which cooperated with us. I had to get Jim splashed with me. It's my only guilty pleasure that for one reason or another, he'd never been able to share.
It was obvious to anyone paying attention that we were wrecks and didn't care, so it didn't take long after we had Jim right where we wanted him until a guy honked his horn and veered hard into the puddle and rewarded our silliness with a wave that slammed into us but good and gave all six of us a runny coat of brown. As soon as other drivers saw that we reacted with claps and whistles, it was like a domino effect and at least the next twenty cars swerved into the muddy water, hammering us over and over until we were as brown as we were before we rinsed off, my sweetie included. He was right in the spirit, too, egging drivers on. Several cars must have gone around the block a few times because I kept seeing them. I'm glad they were having as much fun as we were.
Now I would have stayed there until I caught pneumonia, but cooler heads prevailed.
Are you happy yet? my handsome but mud and grit-covered husband asked.
Let's get nailed by one more big truck and then we'll quit, I replied.
As if in answer, that same FedEx driver came by again.
Are you crazy nuts still at it? he pulled up and asked.
We were waiting for you to come back and let us have it one more time, Debbie yelled back.
Wait right there, he said with a bird-fed-cat grin.
He pulled on up and into a parking lot up the street to turn around. We waded right up against the street again. As we stood in ankle-deep water, he roared through the puddle and gave us nearly as good a pasting as Jim's. Dripping muddy water, we all cheered him as he drove on. He had to think we were lunatics! Of course as always, the jury is out on that!
The rain was letting up again, but there was still enough for the broken drain pipe to provide us another rinsing. Jim retrieved his cell phone from the Blazer and gave it to Beth so she could take a picture of us cuddling under the broken down spout, me in my totally trashed business suit and him dressed a little more appropriately for acting crazy.
This doesn't seem odd to any of you? Ann asked dripping wet from her shower. I caught Jim getting another look at how her t-shirt showed off her fancy bra.
Once you get to know these ladies, you learn to expect anything, Jim replied. That darn Yankee! And just who was it who got me hooked on getting plastered with pies?
Ann turned to Beth and Debbie and remarked, So I guess that means your husbands won't think twice about this either.
If anything, mine will get upset that I didn't invite him, Debbie said with a snicker and a knowing glance at Beth and me. But I'll make it up to him, she added. This suit's ruined anyway. I may as well let him have some fun before I toss it!
First Ann blushed at that and then realizing what she said, Debbie did as well. We were all so close that we wouldn't think twice about saying something like that in front of each other or Olivia, Kellie or even Sylvia. Ann seemed to fit in so much today that Debbie must have forgotten that we'd just met her.
We'd better go before I stick my foot in my mouth again, Debbie said giggling.
You need a place to change? I asked Ann. We don't live far from here.
No, I can change in my sleeper, Ann replied. I need to get going. St. Louis isn't getting any closer.
We exchanged phone numbers with her promise to call the next time she was in town with some time to kill. I told her if she liked fooling around out here with us, she'd love our place. We had plenty of water and mud. The rain was down to a light sprinkle when she climbed into her truck and headed out.
Now the five of us were just getting ready to pile into the Blazer, when who should pull up but our teenage friend and his Chevy Caprice.
Y'all heading out? he asked, looking a little disappointed.
Yeah, Jim replied, they finally decided to act their age.
Aw, man! the teen moaned. I called all my buddies too. Here they come. We were really going to give you a good mudding!
Will we stay and let them paste us some more?
Or will Jim insist it's time to go?
Find out in Part 2