Welcome Home: The Darcie Way
(Warning: Extremely Graphic!)

It's Darcie again everyone! Summer marched on after Olivia's trash the dress video and got hotter and more humid like always. Mom and Dad's Fourth of July barbecue got a little bigger with Robert and Debbie coming over and Jared and Olivia too. Olivia admitted that her mother nearly had a cow when she told her that she wouldn't be there for the annual parade and that she was going to Dallas to that crazy woman's house for a barbecue and mud volleyball.

We had a great time, but that isn't what this story is about. I mean how many times can I describe myself making diving saves into thick, gooey, soupy mud in my tank top and short-shorts, or how I introduced Samantha to the joys of getting splattered with mud by the Blazer again and again? Never too many? Too bad, I need to get to the point.

I only mentioned the Fourth of July because Olivia did tell me that they had found a replacement for the Blazer, which I was not about to sell to anybody, even them. This one was a couple of years older, but it was a war veteran. The Army used Blazers and Chevy pickups just before the Humvee's came out. Jared and Olivia were looking at one that a National Guard unit had during the first gulf war and had driven it in Iraq. It was sold as surplus a few years later and was still painted in desert camouflage. I just thought that sounded really cool. A friend of Jared's from work had also told them about a great place to go mud bogging. It belonged to a friend of his and since it was private property, it was never crowded. Jared said we should join them over there once they get their truck.

Oh, I will get off track to tell you this part. Olivia also confessed that she was getting better at a certain something she asked me about sitting out on the raft in the pond after we finished filming her and Jared's video. Oh, you know what I mean! Anyway, she asked if I knew anything she could do to spice that up. I took her here and showed her KakeKid's Homecoming Bake Off series and the famous crotch pie sequence. She couldn't wait to get home and try it.

Then it hit me. Back when I did that to Jim, I really didn't do it right and if you need an explanation of what the difference was, then you'll need to go back and read the second half of the story about my last day at work. By all accounts Olivia was going to be able to do it correctly and Grasshopper would surpass her teacher. That just would not do, especially after discovering that I did indeed have the proper talents to do that trick justice. I was just going to have to find a way to do it again.

The opportunity came up a week later. Jim had to go out of town for three days. I took advantage of the fact that he was gone to put up plastic in our play room downstairs and make up a couple dozen or so Kool Whip and pudding pies. I also bought some bakery pies and a fine white half sheet cake with chocolate whipped cream icing. Ashley arranged a sleepover for the girls so they would be out of the house on Friday night when Jim got home. He had driven since he was going to the local office in San Antonio. I had him text me when he was about an hour away so I would be ready. I had bought this really slutty looking halter dress. It was silver white and tied behind the neck.




It was VERY tight, so tight in fact that the only underwear I could find to put on under it that didn't leave any line or bulge was a skimpy, skimpy thong. To tell the truth, it really was more of a g-string. The dress was also REALLY short. It barely covered my ass! I paired it with some strappy sandals with a spike five-inch heel. Yeah, every once in a while, if just the two of us were going out, I dressed that way. Jim loved me telling men everywhere to eat their hearts out. This country girl has just the right amount of slut in her; don't you think?

I teased my hair out, put on a lot of bright, slutty makeup and went downstairs in the dark to wait for Jim to get home. I didn't have to wait too long.

Hey, Darcie! Where're ya at? I heard him call.

Downstairs, lover, I replied. The girls are gone and I'm waiting for you!

I heard him rushing down the steps and then crack up when he turned on the light. I had pies arranged all over the room on whatever folding tables I could find to set up. I was sitting seductively in the plastic chair we kept in the play room for these situations with the cake, a blackberry cream and a very large chocolate cream pie next to me as well as several squeeze bottles of chocolate, strawberry and butterscotch ice cream topping.

I must explain that our play room was a room we purposely kept bare so that it would be easy to clean up. It was the same room we used to film Jared and Olivia's video.

Wow! he exclaimed. Someone's been busy baking! Jokingly he added, What am I supposed to do with all of these?

Whatever you want to do with them, sweetie, I replied. Just don't touch these pies or the cake right away. I have something special in mind for them!

I stood up and bent over the table so my skirt rode up in the back to highlight my underwear choice and inspected the pies before selecting another blackberry cream that I bought at the store and had added another layer of whipped topping to so it was piled really high. I gave Jim a little tee hee girlish giggle and then sampled the whipped topping with my finger. Jim was chuckling at my pie slut routine. I sauntered over to him, heel-to-toe with the pie held up in my right hand next to my head.

Here, lover, I purred and handed it to him. I've been waiting for you all day just to give me my dessert. As seductively as I could, I added, Now give it to me! emphasizing every syllable.

Whatever you say, you sexy thing, he replied. I held my most sultry expression I could while I watched him cock the pie back. I held it until the last second when the pie left his hand and came flying the short distance to my face. I closed my eyes just before impact, but left my mouth hanging open in a hungry seductress sort of way so when the pie plastered my features, a lot of it entered my mouth. I recoiled a little from the impact. Jim loved to throw hard, but I loved getting pied that way. Stand there and take it like a woman, was my motto. The cream and blackberry sauce exploded around my face and up into my hair. I felt it splatter onto the halter part of my dress and my exposed cleavage. I brought my head back upright, slowly and deliberately. The pan fell away and more of it dripped down the dress, guided by my mostly-covered tits to where the halter part of the dress met just above my belly-button and I felt a few globs tumble over the dress below my waist.

How was that? my loving husband asked.

I blinked my eyes open without wiping. I was becoming a master at seeing through pie filling, whipped cream and crust. That was so good, I purred and then pouted, but you've been gone for three whole days. Please give me some more!

No problem, he replied. He picked up a chocolate cream in one hand and a banana cream in the other. I glanced down and saw the bulge already forming in the Dockers he was wearing. Oh, what plans I had for that bulge in just a few minutes!

Do you want these pies, he teased, holding them out to the sides.

Oh yes! I want them so-o-o-o bad! I replied. Please give them to me NOW!

Splat! Jim sandwiched me! I had been getting hot and bothered just thinking about getting pied before he showed up. That shot made my knees buckle a little and he'd only got me twice so far! I was blinded again, but I felt him begin to rub both plates around and up into my hair. More pie dripped down the front of the dress and down between my tits and even more rolled down my bare back. It made me shiver.

Oh, yes, I purred seductively, when he dropped the plates and began giving me a pie shampoo with his bare hands. I felt my hair matting up in the pie filling and whipped cream and got even more shivers as the crumbling crust massaged my scalp.

Oh, well, I heard him say to break me from my pie euphoria, I've got more clothes.

I reached up and cleared my eyes of the pie blob that now enveloped my whole head. Just as I had suspected, when Jim clobbered me with both of those pies, which I'd made and were WAY overstuffed, a lot of the filling had splattered out. He was currently wearing it on his chin, neck, and the front of his golf shirt and Dockers slacks.

Oh, I'm so sorry, I feigned. I purposely wiped off a large gob from my head in each hand. Let me help you with that. I wiped his shirt with my pie covered hands and ran my hands down to his pants to rub the bulge in his front that was becoming more and more pronounced. Now he didn't just have it on him, it was smeared in well.

That didn't help, he snickered.

I squeezed his cock through the ruined pants and said, Are you sure I'm not helping?

I suppose it's how you look at things, he replied, pausing to take a labored breath after you.

I backed away and giggled at him standing there with pie now smeared all over his shirt and the crotch of his pants. Oops! I said, high and squeaky, I've been a naughty girl.

Jim picked up a blackberry cream and said, And now you get what's coming to you.

He removed the pie from the pan and smashed it right between my boobs just above where the halter top of my dress met. He brought up his other hand and started smearing it all over my front. I threw my head and arms back and thrust out my chest, oh so proud to let him slather the cream and sauce over my increasingly messy tits.

I picked up another blackberry cream and held it up head high facing him. Want to join in the fun? I asked seductively.

May as well, he replied. He slipped his feet out of the expensive loafers he wore for being on his feet a lot when teaching his classes and kicked them behind him out of harm's way. I'm guessing this gets a lot messier before it gets cleaner.

You better believe it! I stated and shoved the pie into his smiling face and up over his head. I let the pan fall down his back and rubbed the sticky glop well into his hair. I felt myself getting hornier by the second. I so loved it when he played along. He knows that I'm going to let him give me the worst end of it and that no matter what, he's bound to end up messy anyway. I mean; how can you make love to a woman who is covered in pie without getting it on you? I rubbed my messy hands on down his back and pulled up to kiss him and mix the glop covering our fronts and faces together.

Jim backed me up against a table while we were still kissing and groping each other. I felt one slimy hand slide down my back and grab for something on the table and before I knew it, he was gently smashing a butterscotch pudding pie into the back of my head and working the filling and whipped cream into my already matted hair. I giggled when I felt him reach for another one. I yelped out a girlish, Ooooo, when something cold and slimy contacted my bare back. The pie rolled on down my back and he caught some of it landing on my ass and rubbed it into the dress there. I gasped in messy bliss. He worked it around my hips to ensure that all of my slutty little dress was well covered.

I snickered and slipped out of his arms. He grabbed an overstuffed banana cream pie and removed it from the plate. He cocked it back to throw.

Why Mr. Sutton! I exclaimed in my best southern belle accent. Splat! He threw it hard and it exploded in my face. I licked around my mouth and continued, Mmmmm! You surely know what a lady wants!

Well then, Mrs. Sutton, allow me to give you much, much more! Jim began to hit me with pie after pie which I happily stood there and submissively accepted. I told you that I was going to let him give me the worst end of it. He pied me three times in the face, one right after the other and then took one out of the tin and launched it at my tits to watch it explode over my front.

I picked up a chocolate syrup pie, one of the runny ones, and stepped up to him. It was his turn to be submissive and let me clobber him in the face. The syrup ran down his face and fell to his messy shirt and I added insult to injury by rubbing the chocolate into the fabric.

Jim cleared his face and looked down at himself. Well you've certainly made a fine mess out of my clothes, he said with a little too much emphasis. I'll never wear these again!

Taking his obvious hint I reached for his collar and said, Then it doesn't matter if I do this! and ripped the shirt open down the front. My dress was a stained rag too and he might have designs of ripping what I was wearing to shreds, not that I wasn't asking for it, but it was still fun to start ripping his clothes off first for a change.

He let the shirt drop from his arms to the floor and I grabbed a regular chocolate cream pie and smashed it into his bare chest. Then I wrapped my arms around him again to kiss him and smeared even more glop onto his chest from my recent barrage. His left hand was smearing glop deep into my hair and his right was rubbing pie into the small of my back. God, it was making me so horny that I didn't know how much longer I could stand it! He was having the same issue. I could feel his throbbing cock against me, longing to be free of the messy Dockers slacks.

I felt Jim lifting me off the floor. Something told me to go with it and I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him carry me that way. He took me to a table that still had pies on the edge of it and was sturdy enough to support me and plopped my ass into a blackberry cream pie. My dress had ridden up so it was my mostly bare ass cheeks that sank into the sticky pie. Some of it squeezed up into my thong and invaded my pussy. I squealed, Ooooo! again at the sensation.

Jim left me sitting in the pie. I gave him one of those blissful, submissive grins like Olivia would give Jared nearly every time he shoved her into the pond in her wedding gown. He must have decided that he was the only one topless long enough. He reached behind my neck. Now I really expected him to just rip the halter top of my dress open and I definitely would have deserved it if he did. (I know the feminists hate hearing me say that I was asking for it, but I was asking for it!) However he only grabbed the ties and untied the loose bow and let my halter fall down below my waist. My tits were plenty messy already since the skimpy dress didn't offer much protection against an onslaught of pie, but that didn't let it stop him from plastering my bare tits with a chocolate cream and tossing another blackberry cream in my face.

He backed up and admired his handiwork. I sat there and gave him a coy smile through the glop for a second before slipping off the table and pulling my dress back down. Pie started running down my legs.

You look so uncomfortable, my darling, I purred. Let me help you! I undid his belt and then his fly. I pulled his pants down to his ankles and he stepped out of them. He reached over and took off his socks and when he was bent over, I shoved a banana cream into the top of his head. He stood back up and gave me one of those scolding smiles that I had perfected so well.

Thanks, he said sarcastically, but his expression said he loved it. While he could either pie me or watch someone else pie me all day long, I was the only one able to pie him and he always took whatever I dished out like a trooper. Of course I always made sure I never gave nearly as good as I got!

He let me back him up to the table this time. He had to have known that I was up to something, but he just let me get away with whatever I wanted to. Of course he knew that he was going to get lucky before this was all over anyway. I didn't run him all the way into the table, but instead stopped just before it and turned us both to the side. I grabbed a butterscotch cream with one hand and pulled the waistband of his knit boxers away from him in the back with the other.

Jim yelled out, Ahhhh! Cold! when I dumped the pie into the back of his underwear and smashed them up against him.

Fine! If that's the way you want to play! he scolded. I was in for it now and that was fine by me. Jim spun me to face the table and said, Hmmm, which one should I choose? He selected an overstuffed chocolate cream and set it down in front of me.

Would you mind bending over, sweetie? he asked so sweetly. I knew what he was up to and I offered no resistance whatsoever. After all, I was doing this all for him anyway. I wanted him to have all of the fun he wanted to have. I bent over the table, knowing my ass was sticking out of my dress again, and Jim centered the pie right under my nose. He picked up banana cream and held it above my head.

Take a deep breath, he whispered.

I took in some air and he flipped the pie over he was holding and in the same motion shoved it into the back of my head and shoved my face deep into the waiting chocolate cream pie on the table. What did I ever do to deserve such a catch? He always knows how to treat a lady!

I held my breath and waited for his next assault. He pulled my dress up a little more to expose all of my ass. I felt him pull my thong off and let it fall to the floor around my feet. Then he have my ass a playful slap that made me jump before he plopped a separate pie into each cheek. Even though my face was buried in pie and I couldn't breathe, I couldn't help but reach between my legs and start to play with myself.

I knew he was enjoying smearing the pie over my bare ass, but eventually the need for fresh air won out. Mmmmph, Mmmmph, I moaned through the pie.

I felt him reach up and grab a handful of my hair. I raised up with him so as not to let it get pulled that bad. He still had hold of the back of my head while I gasped for air. Is that better? he asked sweetly. I nodded and caught my breath. As soon as I looked okay, he took my head and shoved me back down (I didn't resist) into another pie before pulling me back up by my hair and letting me go.

It's high time I show you what I set this all up for before we run out of pies, I said. We were both unrecognizable blobs, but he was the blob in the boxer shorts with his cock pitching a tent in them and I was the topless blob with the top of her dress hanging over her waist and no underwear. I led Jim over to the white chair and placed one of the overstuffed pies on it.

Drop those drawers, you big hard Yankee! I commanded and Jim wasted no time getting out of the boxers. I turned him around and gave him a gentle shove. Knowing when it was his turn to be submissive, Jim sat right in the pie sending it splattering out everywhere.

His cock was thrust out in front of him at perfect attention. I grabbed a handful of glop from my head and used it to stroke him a few times. We were just getting warmed up, you horny bastard! I snarled. Now the real fun begins.

I gingerly picked up the big chocolate cream pie that I'd placed by the chair. I puckered up my lips and very slowly and deliberately used my thumb to bore a hole up through the crust a little off center. I leaned over and let Jim lick the pie from my thumb.

This looks familiar, Jim said.

It's got a new twist! I replied. I slipped the pie over his erect cock and gently lowered it all the way into his lap. Jim must have thought that I needed the same assistance that I needed last time because he slipped his hands under the pie to push it up when I went down.

Not this time, lover, I purred. You hands are going to be busy somewhere else. I picked up the half-sheet cake. It was held only by its cardboard plate. You'll need this, I said and had him hold it up above his lap.

He gave me an expression that had WTF? written all over it, but then he got it as I stood there grinning at him and started to chuckle. I got down on my knees, (Well isn't on your knees the only way to really do it right?) and slid my head up between the pie and his lovely erection on the bottom and the cake on top.

Make me take it all, I whispered seductively. Jim knew exactly what I wanted him to do. He flipped the cake over and slammed it into the back of my head and it folded right around. As fine, fluffy white cake and chocolate whipped cream icing was ground into my hair, ears and Jim's legs, he shoved the cake platter down and I slipped my lips over his shaft and buried my face into the huge chocolate cream in his lap. I let him shove me all the way down the length of it until I felt the tip of his cock tickle the back of my throat. I slid my tongue down its entire length and kept my lips closed tight around it. My god! That was the best pie-in-the-face I ever got!

I'd given him a couple more deep throats since Olivia's drown the gown but I'd never just jammed it down my throat on the first stroke like that. It gagged me just a little bit, but this was my idea. I'd asked for it and I damn well wasn't going to fuck it up by stopping! I backed off of him a little until the queasiness passed and then it was full on strokes from the tip all the way down to where his hair patch was buried in chocolate cream and pie crust. I felt him rubbing the cake around on the back of my head and into my hair. Jim later told me that I disappeared for a minute in all of the mess in his lap, but of course my presence was obvious!

Jim found the ice cream toppings. I was busy sliding up and down his shaft, letting the head of it knock on the door in the back of my throat when he started pouring chocolate syrup over my head. There wasn't much left for it to stick to. My hair was overflowing with pie, cake and icing, so he started squirting it down my back and decorating where my dress still covered my ass. He ran out of chocolate and started over with the strawberry and when that was gone, I got a full bottle of butterscotch.

All the while he was whispering things like, Oh yeah! and Do that! and the ever popular Oh God! He started to squirm and I knew it wouldn't be long now. Now, if you've been around since the beginning, you know that Darcie don't spit! but this was something special. Just before he was about to cut loose, I backed off of him.

Hey! he started to protest as I took a quick swipe at the glop covering my face. I shushed him and picked up the blackberry cream pie I'd left next to the chair. I scooped up a handful of glop from his lap and started stroking his cock by hand. Normally he would have his eyes clenched shut right now, but he wanted to see what I was up to. They opened really wide when he started to shoot his load and I placed the pie right in the line of fire to give it an extra layer of cream. A devilish grin appeared on his face as he realized what he was going to get to do to me! Once I had him pumped clean, I let go and handed him the pie.

Standing up straight on my knees, I looked him in the eye and said, Gimme some cum pie, boy!

Splat! Jim placed a hand behind my head to hold it still and shoved the pie that I'd just decorated with his wad deep into my features. He rubbed it up and down a couple of times for good measure. I knelt there and moaned with pleasure over the fact that I was getting both of my favorite things smeared in my face at the same time! He finally slid it up over my head to leave the plate resting there.

Why you little Texas whore! he said. I just stayed there on my knees for a second and let the pie and cum drip down onto my bare tits.

Guys, listen to me for a second. It is my firm belief that we women all have a submissive little slut locked up inside of us, even the most uptight, high maintenance bitches out there. If you're lucky, you'll meet someone like me who keeps hers close to the surface, but it's your challenge to find out what it is that lets her out. Oh, she might not speak to you for a few days afterward, but believe me; she enjoyed what you put her through. Give it a couple of weeks and do whatever you did to bring her out again! I guarantee that each time she'll start talking to you again a little sooner each time. Treat her special afterward and she'll eventually start asking for it.

Anyway, I replied, It's time to thank your little whore. My pussy was aching now and needed satisfaction!

With pleasure, he replied. Jim stood and yanked my dress up, which was riding up anyway, to the point that it looked like I was simply naked with a messy sash around my waist. He set a chocolate syrup pie in the chair and then offered the chair to me. I didn't need a shove. I plopped right down in the pie without an argument. I squealed when the whipped cream and chocolate syrup forced itself up into my ass and pussy. May was well be messy inside as well as out!

Then that damned Yankee really surprised me. He grabbed two pies from the table. He had me spread my legs apart, took a chocolate cream out of the plate and rested it between them. He handed me a plain Kool Whip pie and knelt in front of me with his face between my knees.

Go for it, he said. If it's good for you, it's good for me!

I took the hint and shoved the Kool Whip pie into the back of his head and buried his face in the chocolate cream that rested in my crotch. I squealed as the crust disintegrated and the cold filling further invaded my pussy. Then I gasped when Jim's talented tongue burrowed out of the pie and found its way in. I melted immediately and tossed my head back to enjoy myself. Eventually I remembered the shower of ice cream toppings he gave me and decided to reciprocate. I started with strawberry and rubbed that into his hair, but it didn't stop him from lapping away at my juices and thrusting his tongue between my lips.

I emptied the butterscotch over him next and was just finishing the chocolate when I felt the wave hit me. I flung the bottle across the room and tossed my head back. I gripped the arms of the chair, completely and totally his. OH GOD! DON'T STOP! I screamed. I was bucking wildly as my pussy clenched up on his tongue. It didn't deter him one bit. JIM! GOD! I CAN'T STAND IT! I begged, but never once did it occur to me to push him out and back away from him.

He finally turned me loose. He sat back on his arms on the floor and laughed at me when I slid out of the chair to the floor.

That was so wonderful! I exclaimed.

Then he did something I couldn't believe. He leaned forward and kissed me even though neither one of us had wiped anything off. I was so submissive at this point, I didn't care, but he was all over my face and apparently he didn't care about that either. It was mixed up in pie, but it was still there just the same. Then I saw his cock was hard again.

You're insatiable, I teased.

What do you expect when you do shit like this? he asked.

Well go ahead and go for it, I told him. I'm so worked up still that you won't need to work for it at all!

He immediately pinned me on the floor and thrust himself into my still-aroused pussy. He thrust his tongue deep in my mouth, again despite where both of our faces had just been. If he didn't care, then I didn't have any right to care. After all, this was still all my idea. It also wasn't the first time that he jammed a pussy-juice coated tongue in my mouth and it's probably far from the last.

He slid up and down my body, assisted by the slimy glop that covered us both. He wasn't making love; he was fucking my brains out and at this particular moment, that was what I wanted more than anything else. I didn't take much stimulating at all and I clenched up on him to shove orgasm number two over the top.

My loins needed a break, but he was still going strong. Why don't you try something different? I asked.

Jim pulled out and crawled up my body and shoved his cock between my slimy tits. I took my hands and shoved them together to clench up on him, but I started having a problem.

Giggling at first, and then cackling, I begged him to stop.

What's the matter? he asked, sounding a little annoyed but also a little amused.

It tickles!

Well what do you suggest I do?

I thought for a second and the submissive slut that we'd unleashed, who wanted nothing more than to be violated in the worst ways imaginable, answered for me. Fuck me in the mouth, you horny son-of-a-bitch! sheerI screamed.

Splat! Jim swept a blackberry cream pie off the table and plastered me in the face with it in one motion. I hardly reacted except to close my eyes. By this point I could not fathom not being pelted with pies over and over. If they had stopped, then I would have thought something was wrong!

Jim slid up a little more until his hard cock dangled over my face and bumped me in the nose. I raised my head up and slipped my mouth around it again, (yes, despite the fact that he'd just had it shoved between my legs), reached around and grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled myself up the length of it until I had it banging my throat again. I'd seen a girl on Messy Girl Blow Jobs (Yes, I let him get videos from there.) do this once, but it was harder than it looked. I was already burnt out from the work out earlier and it didn't take too many pull ups into his crotch before I was spent. Those girls who do those videos must be in great shape. I'm going to have to start working out more if I'm going to whore it up like this!

I let go and plopped onto the floor. I'm sorry, I said. If I didn't have to pull myself up and down

I've got an idea, Jim said. He gathered up his ruined clothes and balled them up into a pillow for me to prop my head up on. My mouth was at just the right angle for him to shove his cock back in again and take over the work himself. Of course for being such a gentleman, I naturally allowed him to shove it all the way in while I just kept my lips closed up tight and my tongue raking the shaft.

I was a submissive rag doll at this point, plain and simple. I lay there with my mouth closed around his cock and he treated it just like a pussy with long, deep, deliberate thrusts. It was a good thing I'd had some deep throat experience before this. I thought that I was spent, but almost involuntarily I reached between my legs and started to finger myself.

Jim finally started to let go and painted the inside of my mouth with his wad from the tip of my tongue all the way back to where his cock raked my throat when he went deep. Then when he was done, he just stayed in there until he went limp. Of course I shouldn't complain; I let him, and then kept my lips closed nice and tight around him when he finally did withdrawal so I'd get every single drop. My inner slut was on full display so I may as well take advantage of it.

Oh my God! What won't you do? Jim asked when he crawled off of me.

I didn't answer and he saw why. I was too busy masturbating. Splat! A chocolate cream plastered me in the face. I just lay there blinded getting myself off.

I heard him get into one of the cabinets and come back over to me. Then I heard a familiar sound and got my hand out of the way to give him room to go in with my vibrator. I shrieked when it first made contact; I was so torqued up. I pulled my legs up and held them while my toy did its magic until I finally let go and just screamed.

Jim dropped my vibrator. I finally wiped my face and we both collapsed laughing into the piles of pie glop on the floor. What the hell brought that on? he asked.

I missed my sweetie, I replied batting my eyes at him.

I'm going to have to go out of town more often, he said.

So you expect this every time you go out of town? I asked. I didn't exactly mean for this to go as far as it did!

Really? he asked starting to laugh. You think so? Then he mocked, 'Fuck me in the mouth, you horny son-of-a-bitch!' He could barely get all of it out for laughing so hard.

I was laughing hard too. He did a pretty good impersonation of my slutty exclamation. Shut up! Asshole! I finally managed to get out. I reached around him and slapped his ass and he did it right back to me. Hard! I shrieked and then he grabbed me up close and started to tickle. I attempted to tickle him back and avoid his attack at the same time while we rolled around on the floor in the sticky, slimy glop. Finally our lips locked together and we shared a long, long kiss, both of us still snickering through our noses.

I love you so much! he said when the kiss finally ended.

I love you too, you horny Yankee.

We decided that we were already wrecks so we may as well go swimming to get rinsed off. There was no sense in actually taking a shower yet since we were bound to get just as messy as we were right now when we cleaned up the basement. I kicked off my high heeled sandals. Jim pulled his slimy knit boxers back on.

I had just pulled my dress back down and was starting to tie the halter up behind my neck when Jim said, Hey, there are a few pies left. Who wants this one?

I never, ever missed that cue! I let go of the halter's tie strings and immediately began jumping up and down yelling, I DO! I DO! The halter fell back down in front and my tits flopped everywhere. Jim's aim was spot on and the banana cream exploded all over my face. Gotta love a man who knows how to pie a woman!

It was my turn next and I decked Jim with as much accuracy. There was an odd number of pies left so I got plastered last even without Jim cheating. (If you've been following along, whenever we play this and it's my turn last, Jim always says, You do, when I ask who wants the pie and I, being the good sport that I am, always pie myself.)

I finally got my dress tied up in back. There wasn't an inch of fabric anywhere that wasn't stained some other color and it was completely saturated with pudding, pie filling and chocolate, strawberry and butterscotch syrup. The halter was plastered to my top so my nipples stuck out, but we were going to go swimming anyway so who cares?

I didn't even see my thong. It must have been buried in the glop somewhere. I really didn't want to put it on anyway. I'd much rather go commando and didn't figure my clothes would stay on long.

How long have you had that sexy dress? Jim asked. I don't remember it.

I turned my head and sheepishly replied, I bought it just for this.

Jim shook his head and laughed. He didn't really mind, especially since we had a couple of clients lined up for our business. The main reason we were doing it was to offset the cost of our messy hobby.

I still have a pink one just like it! I added.

At least for the time being, he quipped. He put his arm around me, kissed me and we walked up the stairs together.

Outside, Jim swept me up in his arms and ran off the end of the dock. We came up sputtering and raced out to the raft. My dress stayed on longer than expected, and made a really comfortable swim suit plastered to every ripple of my body, but after several slides, jumps, dives and being pushed off over and over, Jim declared, Well I think the dress has had it. He reached under my dripping hair for the ties.

Now I knew what he was going to do and made no attempt to stop him. I figured I had it coming for being such a naughty girl tonight. He undid the ties and then grabbed each side of the halter by the top. One rip and my well-pied and slimed and now soaking wet dress tore open all the way down the front to separate at the bottom and leave me bare-assed naked. I was used to getting all of my clothes ripped off out here on the raft anyway. I married him for better or for worse, and if this was the worst it ever got, then he was welcome to do his worst to me any time he wanted!

He tossed the dress over his shoulder into the water and it joined all of my other ruined clothes and shoes at the bottom of the pond. I let him turn me around so my back was to the water. Go ahead; I know you want to, I said. He gave my tits a gentle squeeze and then a shove and I fell backwards off the dock, grinning up at him with the same submissive bliss as earlier, until I went under.

He jumped in behind me and I went back under and yanked his shorts off. He didn't put up any kind of a fight to save them. We swam and played naked until he unbelievably came up hard again and I found myself on my back on the air mattress once more, (Orgasm number four!). His emission at last ended up where nature intended, (although I'm willing to bet the mouth is an acceptable alternative seeing how much I like it).

We played out there all night and watched the sun come up sitting on the raft.

Mr. Sutton, I said.

Yes, Mrs. Sutton?

Don't let anyone tell you any different; you sure know how to show a lady a good time.

Jeesh! Look how long I've been rambling! I only meant to mention our little bout with pie pornography, but I guess I just got carried away! I guess I'll be back soon and I promise I'll tell the story I really meant to tell!