Darcie Makes a Convert: Part 4
(Or a New Mud Goddess)

Let's recap, shall we? Cue the Omnipotent Narrator Guy!

ONG Previously in our story, Olivia, wife of Darcie's old friend Jared, whom Darcie had classified as a tight-assed bi

D Hey! Be Nice!

ONG Sorry. Olivia, who had seemed to be confused by Darcie's more carefree lifestyle

D That's better!

ONG contacted Darcie out of the blue asking her for help. Olivia wanted to become looser and fulfill Jared's request to do a trash the dress photo session in her wedding gown. After Darcie slowly increased her exposure to wetlook, first with just Jared and then in public, Olivia decided that she could stand to do a drown the gown wet wedding dress photo shoot.

Olivia enjoyed herself so much that she consented to a complete Three Stoogettes trash the dress video skit which would help get a video business run by Darcie, Beth, Debbie and their photographer Kellie, off the ground assuming the dry cleaner could save Olivia's soaking wet dress. Oh, and Darcie gave Jim a deep throat blow job.

D You could have skipped that part!

ONG after Darcie was able to dissuade Olivia's second thoughts she had the next morning, they met again on a rainy Saturday to shoot the video. Olivia, Darcie, Beth, Debbie and Olivia's maid of honor Ricki were mercilessly pied and caked by each other and Jim, Robert, Steven and Jared with Olivia getting probably twice as much as anyone else before ending up face first in a big wedding cake and then drenched with red punch.

D I'm back! Well we certainly had a mess to clean up downstairs, but that was for later. The mounds of glop could just sit there on the table and the plastic sheeting we'd stretched across the floor for now. We all headed upstairs and huddled on the patio watching the pouring rain outside. It wasn't storming, just coming down in buckets. The warm, humid Texas air made walking out in it very tempting.

Well it looks like we're shooting in the rain, Kellie said looking at her smart phone. It's going to just keep coming in from the west, but it looks like it will at least let up some in about an hour. You don't want to try to record anything in this even with the waterproof enclosures for the cameras. You'd never be able to hear anything over the pounding rain.

Let me take a second to remind everyone of the state of all of us. Olivia had worn her entire wedding ensemble. She wore her gown that the dry cleaner had saved from the effects of two weeks ago when we found way after way to keep her soaking wet in it. She had also brought her veil, stockings, shoes, long white gloves and the necklace she'd worn. She even wore the white bustier with garters and thong she'd worn underneath and on her wedding night. Every bit of it bore the destructive, multicolored scars of being mercilessly hit over and over by pies, cakes and even an entire bowl of red punch, and Olivia couldn't be happier. She had given up being uptight and was totally embracing being low maintenance and a little submissive happily making a complete and total fool of herself simply because her husband asked her to.

Her best friend and maid of honor, Ricki, wore a similarly ruined blue satin bridesmaid's gown and blue satin stilettos like Olivia's silver white pair. Underneath was a matching blue lace crop camisole, thong, garter belt and white silk stockings.

Beth, Debbie and I dressed somewhat alike wearing the same satin business suit with mini-skirt in three different colors. Mine was blue, Beth's was dark lavender and Debbie's was green. Debbie and I both had black patent leather stilettos and Beth had a bone pair. We also had low slung bottom cup bra, thong and garter sets that matched our suits with black lace trim, except for Beth's whose was red and we all had nude silk stockings. And like Olivia and Ricki, we were all well caked and pied. I was probably the second worst since Olivia and I had both been the victims of a pie target practice session that Jim gave Jared for our video's gag reel. Oh, the things a girl has to do to keep her man happy. (Wink!)

Jared was the only other person who had actually been on camera. We'd found him a second hand tux that pretty closely matched his actual wedding tux. He'd taken a pie in the face from Olivia and gotten a really messy hug from her, but was the least messy of all of us. (Who wants to see a messy guy anyway?)

Kellie was dressed casually in a pink French-cut t-shirt that was cropped at the bottom and a light green stretch cotton mini-skirt. Her blond hair was pulled back into a practical ponytail. She wore a pair of laced white canvas deck shoes bare-legged.

Jim, Robert and Steven, being crew and not part of the show, were all in cargo shorts. Jim's were green camouflage, Robert's were tan and Steven's were brown. Jim also had on a gray muscle shirt and Land's End Trekkers sandals. Robert wore a red t-shirt with the Ford logo and a pair of flip-flops and Steven was in a dark green tank top and old sneakers.

Well what should we do in the meantime? Debbie asked.

I guess we wait it out in here, Kellie replied.

I saw Olivia's wicked smirk. I'd displayed it myself many times. She walked over to the screen door and opened it enough to stick her hand out. The rain was coming down so hard you could hear it smacking her hand. To hell with that! she cried. It feels wonderful out there! I don't know about anyone else, but I'm soaking wet with punch already so I'm gonna go play in the pond! C'mon, Jared! You know you wanna shove me in again!

What the hell! We were all destroyed and we were all going to get soaked anyway filming the next act so why not take a break and have fun? I'm in, I said.

Me too, said Beth.

Jim added, I guess we're all going.

Wait, Kellie said. You may as well get some gag reel footage and I may as well get some pictures. Let me get set up.

She grabbed her waterproof camera and one of our good video cameras on a tripod that the guys had already put into its waterproof case. I'm going to set up the video camera on the dock and throw some inner tubes and noodles in so Olivia and Ricki don't drown. You guys come down as couples or any way you like and do something funny on the end of the dock. Here I go.

She stepped out the door and started down toward the dock. Shit! she yelled and then squealed out a girlish laugh as the warm summer rain started to pound her. She didn't hurry since she was going to be standing out in it running the cameras at least until we were all in the water. She was soaking wet and water was running from the hem of her skirt before she even stopped to set up the tripod. Kellie could be as irreverent as the rest of us were when she wanted to be. Maybe with our new business, we can get her in front of the camera once in a while.

She motioned for someone to come down. Olivia grabbed Jared and hauled him (willingly) out the door. We watched as the rain drenched both of them. They stepped past Kellie who had been taking their picture holding hands and walking down the dock. Olivia turned her back to the pond when she got to the end of the dock and threw her arms out and head back assuming that ever so classic Let me have it pose. Jared did not disappoint her and gave her shoulders a shove. She fell backwards with a blissful smile on her face and disappeared into the water.

Jared stood there getting drenched watching her. I'm next, Ricki said and walked out into the downpour. She hurried down the dock as fast as her squelching stilettos would allow. When she got to Jared she said, for the gag reel's sake, I can't believe you just pushed your wife in the lake!

If you don't like it, help her out, Jared replied.

Fine! I will, Ricki said.

Olivia had been floating on two noodles near the edge of the dock. Ricki reached over and grabbed Olivia's hand and immediately toppled over head first into the water when Olivia yanked her down. Jared stood laughing in the rain at both of them until they both climbed up the ladder, grabbed him and drug him in with them.

Let's go, Robert said to Debbie. They stepped out into the rain and she took his arm to be escorted down the dock. They stopped at the edge. Debbie jumped on him piggy back and he stepped off the side with her. I could see her acid green suit was now a lovely dark green. Satin is so much fun to get wet.

We'll go last, I told Beth. We watched Steven and her quickly become drenched walking toward the dock. They walked out to the end of the dock, both faced away from the water and proceeded to do a pretty good tandem back flip. Seeing her dive in wearing a satin suit, stockings and stiletto heels seemed so natural.

Our turn, I said. I told Jim what I wanted to do and we walked out into the downpour. We'd played in the rain many times since our wet wedding and I had loved every time. As we walked down the dock, I could see that even the rainwater had plastered Kellie's clothes to her to the point that we could make out both her bra and panty lines. The panty lines told on her that like the rest of us girls, she was wearing a thong. We stopped at the end of the dock; he swept me off my feet and jumped off the side.

Oh, did that wet satin suit feel so good! So did those wet silk stockings. We surfaced and I immediately took a breath and dived under. I swam stroking with my arms and kicking with my high heeled feet. I hadn't swum for fun in a suit since my last day at work and I jumped in the pool after I was soaked in the dunk tank. I should do it more often. I like to swim in my clothes and Jim adores seeing me in wet clothes, the less proper for swimming the better. Think I'll add silk suits and high heels to my list of swimwear as long as I can find some cheap at the thrift stores.

I was still under water when Jim swam up next to me and we surfaced next to one of the inner tubes. I climbed up into that one and Jim grabbed another. We laid back on them in the rain. I don't know what we ever did to deserve such glorious rain showers here. It was pounding us, but it felt like a warm fountain. If we didn't have more work to do, I could have lounged here all day like this.

C'mon, Kellie! Jump in! Olivia urged. She, Jared and Ricki were standing out on the raft.

Fine! Here I come! she said. She left the video camera running to catch anything anyone else wanted to do on the dock and handed her camera down to Robert who was by the dock in a lounge float. Kellie took a few steps backwards and then ran up to the edge, bent forward and hopped up into a hand stand which she held for a second before she pushed off the dock to flip back over and go into the water feet first. She climbed up onto another lounge float. Being in the water itself plastered her cotton outfit to her even more than it had been when we passed her. It looked like it was painted on. She retrieved her camera and started taking candid shots of us.

Jared shoved Olivia off the raft. Then she climbed back up and yelled, Everybody! It's time to play 'Dunk the Bride!'

She had us all come up on the raft and form a line. Then each one of us got to shove her off the raft. We girls all lined up in front of our guys so after we'd shoved Olivia in, we could turn around and let them shove us in. After the game, Jim and I were sitting on the dock dangling our feet in the water and feeling the rain that was still falling hard on us. Olivia kept climbing up and letting Jared shove her off over and over. It looked so natural now to see her swimming in all of her wedding splendor. The pie was washed off, but the white satin still bore the stains of our earlier ruthlessness. I understood why she kept coming back for more. I loved to let Jim shove me in too. Almost anytime there was a dock, the side of a pool, the rim of a fountain, and I thought I could get away with ending up in the water, I'd stand there and dare him to shove me in. He usually was too happy to help.

She sure does like swimming in that gown, Jim said as we watched.

Too bad it won't survive today, I replied.

Even money says she goes out and finds another one to wreck, he countered.

Well she wasn't the only one who was thinking about it then. Now that you mention that, we did our trash the dress after my dress was already wrecked, but I sort of wanted to do one anyway. How would you feel about me getting a decent looking second hand gown, veil, shoes and the rest of the works and getting all made up like the real thing to do another one?

It sounds sort of fun, he said, but I don't know.

C'mon, I said, I'll let you shove me off the dock to get it started.

He said, Well how can I say no to that offer? and kissed me with wet lips, and ran his hand through my drenched hair.

On second thought, he said with a sly grin, why don't you just stock up on them? I think I could get used to you swimming in wedding dresses!

God, I love him! Always thinking outside of the box!

The rain got a lot harder before it let up. Kellie took a picture of all five of us girls lined up on the raft still dressed in everything including our shoes called Drowned Rats. The rain was coming down in such heavy sheets, that it literally felt like we were taking a shower. Olivia still had the clip in her hair, but most of her pins had slipped out of place. Her veil was still on. We all had our bangs hanging down bedraggled and we all pouted out our lower lips.

As much as we all loved our formal dress swim party, the rain finally let up a bit.

I think we can start filming now, Kellie said. It was still raining pretty hard, but it had let up enough that it wouldn't drown out our dialog. The rain also gave us all an excuse for our pie being washed off. Jim and I had been going down the slide and I had just climbed back up onto the raft. We walked over to the side closest to the dock and dived in together to swim for the dock. I hadn't paid that much attention to my clothes other than how good the silk suit felt soaking wet, but Jim finally directed my attention to how Beth, Debbie and I all had identical panty and bra lines when we climbed out. The silk clung like our skin and gave away our low-slung bras, thongs and even our garters and their suspenders. So much fun! And it was truly fully clothed swimming. Not a one of us took off a single thing including our high heels.

Rinsed of the pie glop, we got to survey our clothes. All of us wore multi-colored stains of course, but Olivia's white wedding gown was scarred the worst. Purple, brown and yellow stains mixed with a red tint from the deluge of punch that decorated most of her veil and all the way down the front of the dress. No dry cleaner was going to save it this time, but we weren't finished with it yet!

The guys and Kellie got their cameras set up and we got ready for our chase scene. We gagged Jared and tied his wrists and I drug him along with me toward the parked Blazer accompanied by Beth who was carrying a bakery box and Debbie with a big bag of wedding gifts. They were really just wrapped empty boxes.

Now you behave or you'll get what's in the box! I said to Jared when we got to the Blazer. We had the top off, sun roof out and windows rolled down so when I opened the driver's door, about five gallons of water rolled out. We had such silly expressions watching the water drain out that we left all of that in.

We jumped in. Beth and I got in the back and dragged Jared back there with us. Debbie got behind the wheel. Jim jumped into the passenger seat to film our close ups in the car as we drove around the yard and down the road toward the creek a little way. The story called for me to throw the gifts at Olivia and Ricki as they chased us and we filmed my part of it as I tossed the boxes out of the back.

Then we did it over again for Olivia and Ricki. Robert filmed them running around the house in the pouring rain and jumping on the ATV's to chase us. Then we used the gator as a film car and filmed them dodging the presents that I was supposed to throw at them. We actually did some post-production here and dubbed our voices in later but that really doesn't have anything to do with us getting wet or messy so I won't go into detail.

During our set building we attached the roto-tiller to the garden tractor and took it back to the bog to churn up an area about ten feet wide and twenty feet long. Then we hauled Dad's water tank back there and soaked it down. It was pretty consistent mud then but the constant downpour had turned it into a pea soup muck that looked just like what filled the street behind a certain sorority house during some campus construction. We set up the camera, pulled the Blazer out of the shot with enough room to get a good running start at our little mud pit and then had Olivia and Ricki ride up on the ATV's. They got off and walked over. They stood on either side.

I think we lost them, Ricki said.

No, Olivia replied, they're definitely around here somewhere. She had her hands on her hips and was surveying the area.

That was Debbie's cue. She gunned the Blazer toward the mud pit. Olivia and Ricki were standing on opposite sides facing each other. Like a blast from the past, Debbie plowed right through the mud pit and spread it. A wall of muddy soup came flying over the top to splatter her through the sun roof and then fall on the three of us in the back, (Like that's never happened.) But what the guys were concentrating the cameras on was what was really funny. Two gigantic waves of soupy mud flew up from the sides at least ten feet in the air. Olivia and Ricki's dresses had been splashed with a little bit of mud by the gator while filming the riding scenes, but that was nothing. Those two walls of mud slammed into each of them and coated them from the tops of their heads all the way down to their feet like someone had simply gone over both of them with a roller filled with brown paint. They just stood there dripping mud for a second with the camera on them. It was obvious that they were both fighting the giggles. You ought to know by now that women like us always laugh when we get plastered like that. What other possible reaction could there be?

Debbie skidded the Blazer to a stop in the wet grass and we jumped out in the rain leaving Jared tied up in the back seat. Olivia and Ricki moved around so that when they started chasing us, they could chase us toward the mud pit. Olivia and Ricki hitched up their destroyed gowns and came running toward us and we darted away. Or at least all five of us ran as fast as drenched stiletto heels would allow us. Isn't a woman trying to run in heels the most comical thing ever? Well next to Sheldon Cooper anyway! (Character on the TV show The Big Bang Theory for those who didn't get that.) Olivia and I broke free from the rest of them and headed toward the mud pit. She grabbed me in a diving tackle and we both fell forward to do a double version of the now world famous Darcie Moore-Sutton Dumbass Girl Tries to Fly Across Mud face plant into the brown soup which was about eighteen inches deep. Both of us had to fight the urge to giggle so we didn't breathe in the mud. Now I wish I could say that like so much else that's happened during this, that this was Olivia's very first face plant into the mud, but we'd rehearsed this several times on Friday so we'd get it right. I didn't tell you then because I didn't want to give it away.

We got to our feet and I gave her a comically pulled punch backhanded slap in the face, (that doesn't look anywhere near making contact), and Olivia grunted and recoiled to splatter on her back in the mud and finally turn any part of the once pristine wedding dress, gloves and veil that was somehow still some shade of white a nice dark brown. Mona (my Stoogettes character in case you forgot) tried to dive on top of Olivia but she rolled out of the way at the last second and I made my second face-plant of the afternoon. Olivia grabbed me and rolled me over and anything left in the original color on my clothes joined hers as brown.

Ricki chased Debbie, who was running and doing her best Curly whoop, whoop, whoop and tackled her into the mud. Beth ran up to the pit, turned and faced the camera, shrugged her shoulders and leapt into the muck with us. Then they filmed Jared untying himself and taking the gag out of his mouth in the Blazer.

I'm coming, my darling! he yelled and heroically jumped over the side of the open Blazer. He sprinted across the muddy clearing, much faster in his flat shoes than any of us and dived right into the mud with us as we comically wrestled. He joined into the fray and then we cut.

Now I mentioned in Part 3 that Beth, Debbie and I had already prepped our clothes and that we had also prepped Jared's tux. We had to stop so we could do the same to Olivia and Ricki's gowns. In hindsight, we're lucky that neither we Stoogettes nor Jared snagged our clothes on anything while we were swimming earlier. It would have required a major rewrite to explain!

We cut several slashes in both the wedding and bridesmaid dresses just above their knees. It was all we really did to theirs for now since they were the heroes of our story. We also cut similar slashes in Jared's pants legs. Oh! I almost forgot! Just before we did that, I thought of something to do for the gag reel. We had all four of the guys jump in the blazer. Jim was driving. Robert was shotgun and Jared and Steven were in the back seat. The five of us girls, thoroughly trashed anyway, line up beside the mud pit. Kellie held the video camera and Jim gunned the Blazer into the mud. The five of us posed pulling up our skirts, (well Debbie, Beth and me not so much ours were already up) and stuck out our hitchhiking thumbs just before Jim roared through the pit and covered us in a wave of brown soup. He did it again and again, back and forth and we did any pose any of us had ever done: The Princess Wave, Let me have it, sticking our asses out and we even made up a few more. Jared was already wrecked but the rest of them were getting just as messy. I don't think they minded at all since they were getting to splatter mud all over five pretty ladies who were continuing to stand there and beg for it. Besides it served them right. Until we went swimming out in the rain, Jim, Robert and Steven had been both dry and clean all day!

Since all five of us were wearing thongs, we couldn't resist begging them to plaster us one more time. We bent over with our backs to them again and at the last second we all pulled up our dresses and mooned them. Of course we got our bare asses splattered with mud so I'd call it even.

It was time to stop playing around. Jim parked the Blazer back where it was originally and we five women and Jared crawled back into the mud pit and started wrestling again. What was with all of the clothes prepping you ask? What good muddy cat fight doesn't break up with some good old fashioned clothes ripping? I started it by grabbing Olivia's muddy train and yanking. The slashes we cut let me rip her dress off just above the knee, sort of like how we cut mine for trash the dress when we all went mud sliding. Olivia responded by grabbing my jacket from behind and yanking. Beth, Debbie and I had stressed all of the seams in our suits so that it took very little effort to rip anything we were wearing completely off. See what I meant about what could have happened when we were swimming? Anyway the clothes-ripping cat fight continued, with one guy involved. We yanked the bottom of Ricki's dress off the same way. Jared's jacket, bow tie, cummerbund, his shirt collar and sleeves and his pants legs above the knee all came off. And of course, Beth, Debbie, and I all lost both our jackets and skirts and were left in very muddy, low-slung bras, garters, thongs and runny silk stockings.

All six of us crawled out of the pit. The Stoogettes stayed by the edge and Olivia, Jared and Ricki ran a few yards and then turned back to laugh at us. We were all standing there in our undies doing the cover me up dance where you keep moving your hands and arms up and down trying to cover your bra and then your panties and succeeding at neither. Then it was time for a gag reel bit that Beth thought of.

If you've been with me all along, you knew that when the Blazer belonged to Jared, he had installed a waterproof stereo that was specifically designed for mudders. While we were standing there looking foolish, Jim hit the CD on the stereo and the open Blazer began to crank out The Macarena. We were already alternating covering different spots so when the music started we immediately got in line and all started doing the Macarena in our underwear covered in mud. We'd practiced this and had our choreography down pretty good. We got going and started swinging our heads around and flinging mud everywhere from our sodden hair. At one point on the gag reel you can barely hear the music because Robert, who was running the camera, is laughing so hard and I thought Jim was going to pass out. He was sitting in the Blazer with the driver's door open and fell out, rolling on the muddy ground laughing. God that was fun!

We got back down to business, but not before Ricki announced, Running around like that looks like fun! meaning us three in our muddy lingerie. I don't care if I'm supposed to be one of the heroes. I want to too!

Well the next scene called for the three of them to tie the three of us up and leave us here. I came up with an idea. We prepped what was left of Ricki's gown so that it was barely hanging onto her. Then we highlighted the fact that part of it got caught under the rope. When they were done tying us up, they triumphantly wiped their hands and turned to walk away and leave us. With an audible rip, Ricki left her dress hanging from the rope around our waists. She paused to look down at herself in the blue lace camisole crop top, thong and garter. At least it started out blue. Like most everything anyone of us had on, it was mostly brown now. She grinned, shrugged and headed toward one of the ATV's while Olivia and Jared headed toward the Blazer.

Aren't you coming with us? the muddy beyond recognition, but still perky Olivia asked.

No, she replied. You two just got married and had to go through all of this. You should be alone.

What if they break loose and take the other ATV? Jared asked.

Don't worry, Ricki replied. She grabbed the greasy spark plug wire on one of them and pulled it off. She wiped the grease onto her lace garter belt, made a little coy curtsy and jumped on the other ATV and rode away. Now that is quality entertainment right there. Where else do you get to see a hot girl riding an ATV in her muddy lingerie? That scene alone has something for everyone!

Come, my darling, Jared said in his sleeveless and collarless shirt and ripped off tux pants. Let's get you cleaned up.

He took Olivia by the arm and led her toward the Blazer. Both of them were brown and dripping soupy mud from head to toe. She'd had all the pins and the clip holding her hair yanked out during the mud fight and her head dunked under over and over, so her auburn hair hung down in brown, muddy and dripping strings.

Now here is where I stop and tell you that it was literally a crime how someone with the comedic timing and instinct that Olivia possessed had spent so many years as an uptight feminist beee-atch. What she did wasn't in the script. It was all her. Jared led her to the passenger side door. She smiled through the mud dripping from her face and gazed at him. Jared opened the door for her and very lady-like she turned her back to the seat and let him help her up into it, keeping her legs together with her ruined silk stockings full of runs as she turned around to face the front. Now get this! She pulled down the visor and then checked her lipstick with her face caked with mud and primped that heavily sodden mess of mud-filled hair in the mirror! You can hear all of us laughing in the background.

You know, when I first met her at our wedding, I wondered how a crazy redneck like Jared who loved to get down and dirty could have appealed to her or how they ended up together. I think I've figured it out. Something inside of her must have known that he could help break through the shell she'd put up around her real personality and let this side of her out.

You know, Darcie, Robert began, I think that move there just earned her a spot among the 'Mud Goddesses'.

Welcome to the club! I called over from where we were tied up. This means you can never go back to staying clean again!

Who'd want to? she yelled back out the open window. I think I'll just stay like this all the time. Covered in mud in a ripped up wedding gown suits me!

Jared climbed into the driver's seat, and like Lando Calrissian pulling away in the Millennium Falcon at the end of The Empire Strikes Back, he was once again her captain for the moment. (You guys all know you love a girl who knows Star Wars!) He backed up into the mud pit with the back end toward us and we stood there huddled together, tied up and gagged facing them.

We should tell them goodbye, Jared said.

Olivia turned and yelled out the open back, Bye, Mona! Bye, Larry! Bye, Curly! No hard feelings!

And then Jared punched it! With all four wheels spinning, we vanished under a thick brown cloudburst. Since Olivia and I were muddy anyway after our rehearsal out here, we had literally crawled around on our bellies making sure we found every last rock that was in there so that Beth, Debbie and I could suffer our humiliating defeat without worrying about projectiles.

Jim wanted to do a couple more scenes for the gag reel before we left this area.

Why didn't you think of that earlier when we did the other one? I asked as we got untied.

Jim replied, Because I wasn't inspired until Ricki decided that she wanted to run around in her underwear too.

I assumed my best pin-up pose by turning sideways to him a little and putting my hands on my thighs. Remember now; I am in my lingerie and covered in mud from every strand of hair down to my feet.

Don't I inspire you, I purred in my sultriest voice.

Only every day, he said over everyone's laughter.

He set us up for the first one. He had the very muddy Olivia get her plastic bouquet from the Blazer that she'd been carrying around and stand with her back to the mud pit. The rest of us lined up on the other side a few feet back. Jim yelled, Action and Olivia tossed her bouquet over her shoulder. Beth, Debbie, Ricki and I all raced forward and attempted a diving catch over the pit. None of us caught it, but we all made a massive face plant in the pit. I love playing in the mud and when we watch this, I repeat this part over and over. It and Olivia and me just sitting there getting plastered over and over during Jared's pie throwing lesson are my favorite parts.

The next Jim called, Redneck Reception. Olivia and Jared waded out to the center and posed arm-in-arm like a traditional wedding picture, except of course they were both covered in mud and their clothes were ripped. We had put the plug wire back on the other ATV and we backed both of them into the pit on their right and left facing away from them. When Jim yelled, Action, Beth and I punched the ATV's to full throttle and buried both of them in a wave of soupy mud. You can see both of them laughing as they stood there motionless until the ATV's both got to the sides of the pit and pulled themselves out.

We loaded up after that and the next scene we filmed had Jared pulling up where the creek forded the road. He got out and came around to the passenger side to open the door. Very lady-like again, and still very muddy, Olivia swung her legs around keeping them together and let him help her out and led her into the creek. The bottom of the creek was sand and silt so wading in stiletto heels posed a bit of a challenge. However Olivia wanted to make the silliest video that she could since she knew clips from it would be what got our business off the ground. So she made it work. They headed off upstream. The rain had finally stopped and the sun was coming out.

We got the camera out in front of them and filmed them coming up to the waterfall. Even Olivia wouldn't chance climbing the rocks in high heels so we had her take her shoes off and only shot her from the knees up while she climbed up there. We cut once she was up and she put her shoes back on. Jared held her under the cascading water, which was really running thanks to all of the rain, and they kissed passionately. Brown water never stopped running over the rocks under their feet as mud continued to rinse. Olivia's dress and Jared's ripped shirt went from dark brown to a lighter brown but even if we hadn't cut her dress up, it was beyond terminal.

Olivia went off script again when she ripped Jared's shirt open. The seams around the shoulders gave way to so it just flopped behind him to hang from the tail tucked into his pants. He swept her up in his arms and carried her down. He waded into where the water was just hitting Olivia's bottom and let his legs collapse to dunk them both. He dunked the two of them like that at least ten times and Olivia let out a girlish squeal each time but she kissed him every time they came back up. Jared's shirt came loose and disappeared downstream. Jared put her down and sat on a rock while she did hair flips.

Once they were at least recognizable as Olivia and Jared again after their shower, we filmed them heading back downstream. We found Jared's shirt snagged on a rock and fished it out so as not to litter. We all drove back to the bog where Beth, Debbie and I jumped into the pit to renew our muddiness, (since we'd also rinsed off out of the camera's view) and got tied up and gagged again. We sat down next to the pit in our tied up huddle and Jared came racing through there and splattered us with mud one more time.

We packed up out there and headed toward the house, some of us clean and some of us muddy. All of us, who were muddy, including Jared and Olivia who had been splattered by splashing us, got rinsed off by the hose. Then Jared and Olivia got back in the Blazer and drove up the road to turn around and arrive officially in what was supposed to be the final scene. Jared stopped and went around to let Olivia out of the truck.

What a crazy wedding, he said.

Oh I don't know, Olivia said. Rescuing my hubby from psycho-bitch kidnappers was sort of fun!

It's too bad they threw all of our presents out, Jared commented.

Wait; what's in that box? Olivia asked.

We shot back and forth for this exchange so you have to imagine each one of them in close up when Jared or Olivia speaks.

Jared replied, Oh, you don't want what's in that box.

Olivia said, Seriously, we should at least get one wedding present. Give it to me.

Jared countered, Seriously, you don't want what's in that box.

No, seriously I do, she said and then shouted, Now let me have it!

Splat! Jared decked her with the thick blackberry cream pie from the box that 'Mona had threatened him with when she kidnapped him. Olivia's mouth fell open with an I can't believe they did it again! smile. That was our very last pie. It was very fitting that Olivia got hit with the first one and the last one.

That was supposed to be the final scene, but Olivia asked if they could do one more. Everyone else ended up in her underwear, she said. Why shouldn't I?

We hosed Olivia off again and Robert filmed them from behind and Kellie followed taking stills as they walked holding hands down the dock. Somehow despite Jared in nothing but ripped up tux pants and Olivia in a ripped up pie and mud stained gown, it still looked very romantic. They stopped at the end of the dock. Olivia turned around and faced him. Jared pulled her into an embrace and as he kissed her he slowly pulled her zipper down. When he reached the bottom, he grabbed both sides and ripped, tearing it far enough down that anyone behind her would have gotten a glimpse of her butt in that thong. She pulled out of the kiss with her arms still around his neck and he grabbed the two spaghetti straps going over her shoulders. She looked at his hands and then smiled back up at him with an expression that said, Go ahead; I know you want to. (I know the expression well. Or rather Jim knows it well seeing it on my face whenever he's preparing to let me have the worst end of something.) He yanked both straps and they gave way in the back. He let go of them. The dress fell to the dock and Olivia was left standing there in her bustier with garters, thong and silk stockings. Everything was stained mud brown and the bustier had some pie filling stains near the top from what had fallen down her cleavage. If you're keeping score, that's five women running around in thongs with their butt cheeks hanging out and one to go.

Olivia let go of Jared's neck and looked directly into Robert's camera. She gave her shoulders a shrug and bubbled out, Oh well; boys will be boys! Wouldn't more couples get along better if women just had that attitude? Ladies, he's only teasing you because he adores you. Like I told Olivia: Laugh at yourself and no one else who laughs can laugh at you, only with you.

She put her arms down sticking slightly out at an angle and tossed her head back. If that posture didn't say Do what you will, I don't know what could. Jared placed his hands on her bare shoulders and gave her a gentle shove. She fell backwards with that same blissful, contented expression she had when Jared pushed her in earlier. She held the look until she went under the water.

I think she's more submissive than you are! Jim commented.

Jared looked down and gave what was left of her gown a kick. It fell in the pond and floated for a few seconds before it vanished under the water. Olivia treaded water looking up at him with a silly pout on her face.

Burial at sea, Jim commented. Only your veil and train are down there. She deep sixed her dress.

He sure knew how to push my buttons. I grabbed his arm and hauled him down the dock. Kellie was putting her camera away after assuming that we were done. Am I supposed to shoot this? she asked.

You don't have to, I replied over my shoulder. I'm just proving a point.

Jared was still standing there and Olivia was hanging onto a noodle when I swung around and positioned my stiletto heels right on the edge of the dock. I threw my arms out to my sides, gave my bra-clad tits a shake and said, You know you want to.

Jim never fails to disappoint. He placed just his left palm right in the middle of my cleavage and gave me a shove. I fell backwards and splashed down for yet another lingerie swim.

I climbed up on an air mattress, lying on my stomach, intentionally letting my thong-clad butt cheeks stick up. Lingerie was usually my after-dark swimwear if Jim and I were alone out here, but I'd been running around like this since the mud fight seeing no reason to cover up, so why do it now? Besides, a quick count confirmed that except for Kellie and Ricki, everyone here had at least seen me in my underwear once, sometimes in even less.

You guys going to let us stay in her by ourselves? Olivia asked.

Jim and Jared started for the water. Ah, too many clothes, I cautioned.

They both grinned at us. Jared kicked off the tux shoes he was still wearing and dropped his pants. He was wearing regular boxers in light blue and I blushed a little when I saw how transparent they had become. I was so glad when he finally jumped in although we all got more great views before it was over. Jim kicked off his shoes and got out of his shirt and shorts to dive in with us wearing his blue knit boxers. They got some looks when he got out of the water! (Remember, knit boxers are wet t-shirts for men!)

Beth undressed Steven up in the yard and they ran down and jumped in together. Ricki dived off the dock. Robert got out of his clothes to reveal green fashion briefs before he swept Debbie up in his arms and ran off the dock with her screaming all the way.

That left Kellie. Even though we said she didn't have to, she had been on the dock taking pictures of everyone jumping in. You know we aren't going to let you stay out there or leave those clothes on, right? I teased, motioning her into the water. She yanked the t-shirt over her head and then pulled the cotton mini-skirt down and shook it off her legs onto the dock. Kellie kicked off her shoes, walked up to the edge and dived off. Of all of us, Kellie had had the most time to dry out, so when she pulled up onto an inner tube and sat in it, we all got an eyeful of her freshly drenched undies that we didn't get when she was still on the dock. Her bra was like looking through Saran Wrap with seams when it was soaked. She'd let her legs dangle off to the right and left giving us a view of her light blue cotton thong and the camel toe the wet material created. I caught Jim looking, but I never got mad at that. I look too for one thing and I always get any benefit of someone else getting his motor running, if you know what I mean!

Jim and I had been playing together on the slide when Olivia climbed up the ladder.

Can I ask you something? she asked quietly.

Sure, just a second, I said and then I turned to Jim. She wants some 'girl talk', I told him. Kellie and Ricki don't have anyone teasing them. Why don't you and Jared show them that they shouldn't let their guard down like that? They were both lying back in inner tubes with their eyes shut just floating. I figured they both could stand being tipped over once or twenty times.

Jim and Jared jumped in and headed that direction. I saw an air mattress floating and not in use.

Hang on and I'll be right back, I said and jumped in to retrieve it. I handed it to Olivia and climbed back onto the raft.

We can sit on this, I said. This wooden raft isn't good on bare bottoms. That was the drawback to being in a thong. Olivia giggled.

I bet you know that from experience, she joked.

Well if it could talk, I countered. What's on your mind?

Wellahthat thing you Shit! she exclaimed. While she was searching for the words, she had been absently rubbing her feet together. All of us girls who had been in the video were still wearing our high heels. One of Olivia's had slipped off and sunk right in front of us.

First Jared sinks my dress in your pond and now my shoe! she said. I'm so sorry.

All of our shoes were beyond even thinking about salvaging by this point. The pie probably didn't hurt the three pairs of patent leather, but we all went swimming in them earlier and then we wrestled in the mud. Now we were back in the pond again with them, mostly because it looked ridiculous to do so and we all felt like being ridiculous. That and all of our men liked to see us wear them in the water.

Watch, I said and kicked both of mine off and watched them sink. I hope they never drain this out again because after losing my veil and train in here after the wedding, I've lost a lot more. Half of the lingerie I've bought since then is probably down there somewhere along with a bunch of clothes.

Well, hell then! she exclaimed and took the other shoe off and tossed it out into the water. And now that you mention it, these silk stockings started out feeling pretty good when they were just wet earlier, but they're sort of irritating since being in the mud.

She unclipped them from her bustier's garter suspenders, slipped them down and let them sink. I shrugged and did the same to mine. They were a little irritating after the mud.

And I don't need this anymore! I said and stood up to slide the garter belt down. I flipped it off my foot into the water.

What's with the strip tease? Ricki called over as she recovered from being knocked off her tube by one of the guys for about the third time.

Oh, she just collects clothes at the bottom of the pond, Beth said. Beth kicked her own stilettos off, followed by the stockings and the garter. Debbie and Ricki followed. None of us will let anyone outdo the other!

Well what was it you were going to ask me? I asked as we watched stiletto heels and pieces of lingerie sink to the bottom.

Olivia started again, When we were done here two weeks ago, that thing you did to Jim, howHow do you do that?

You mean you've never?

Not once, she replied. It did make sense considering where she came from. Well I was going to need to fix that. I gave her some pointers and told her that she probably didn't want to take it as far as I described because that was the first time I'd ever done it that way. She needed to ease into it. I also gave her some advice from personal experience.

It's up to you, but I'd not worry about what's going to happen when he's done, I told her. Just take it like a woman! You'll get used to it and then maybe start to enjoy it.

Olivia blushed a little at that comment. I think every woman starts out a little apprehensive about what to do when the moment comes. I say if we offered our services, we should follow through on our commitment. I guess unless you want a facial. I did that once when I had an upset stomach and Jim was pretty happy with it.

Is that waterfall usually pretty private? she asked.

Usually, I replied. I paused and added with a sly grin, We've never had any trouble.

Hey Jared, she called, let's go for a walk. There's something I want to show you.

She jumped off the raft and met Jared at the dock's ladder. She looked so silly in her dingy white lingerie with the garter suspenders flipping around and her satin gloves still on. They stopped by their car and got some flip-flops for each of them, jumped in the Blazer and then disappeared down the road toward the creek.

I should have known when the shoes, stockings and garters started coming off that it would only escalate. Kellie climbed onto the raft and said, Well since this doesn't do much good at hiding me anyway She unclasped her transparent bra and fired it into the water like a slingshot. Our pond is really warm in the summertime so nothing shrivels up. Tents started pitching in the three remaining guys' underwear. Again I can't blame them. Kellie's tits were impressive.

Our other single girl decided that she couldn't be outdone. Ricki ducked under the water and when she surfaced, her camisole had apparently joined her garter belt at the bottom of the pond.

Well the guys were really noticing the show now, and Beth, Debbie and I were noticing them. I'm not saying our claws came out, but we married ladies will do whatever it takes to keep our men focused on us as much as possible, and none of us like being outdone.

Of the three guys left, all of them had seen me completely naked at least once so I was the first of the Stoogettes to join the party. I unclasped my mud-dinged bra and let it fall off my shoulders. I swung it around my head and let go. It hit the water and sank.

Let's face it. Once all you have left is a thong, what's the point? Oh, what the hell! I said and dropped the thong to the raft and kicked it off my toe. Kellie followed my lead and lost her thong and then followed me up the slide ladder.

Follow me, I said. No one else could hear over the shouts and whistles. I came down the slide first and Kellie followed. We immediately headed for where Jim was lying back in an inner tube and dumped him off.

Kellie swam off with the inner tube so Jim had no choice but to tread the deep water. That was my chance. He figured out what I was doing too late to swim away when I ducked under and grabbed his underwear. I swam down deeper and off it came. Once it was free of his feet, I let it go.

Thanks, he said sarcastically when I surfaced and kissed him. You want to have an x-rated pool party so that means I have to join you.

Our little floor show broke the last layer of ice and in about ten seconds everyone's remaining underwear and lingerie was on its way to the bottom. It was a good thing everyone else was gone for the week end. The guys behaved themselves; which is to say that they only rubbed up against or felt up the woman whom they were legally allowed to. Well what kind of naked swim party would this be if they didn't get to have a little fun?

I was a little surprised that Kellie sank her bra and thong. The rest of ours were ruined so there was no chance we were ever going to wear them again anyway. But later I got a clue why she likes doing these trash the dress shoots so much and appreciates my imagination.

Jim and I were over in the more shallow water next to the beach where we could stand up splashing each other. Yes, it was only waist deep and my boobs were up out of the water. Sheesh! Anyway, Kellie swam over and waded up to talk to us.

She said, I know this business is going to go like crazy, but in any case, I'd like to hang out with you guys a lot more. You're really fun!

Want to try your hand in front of the camera for one of these? I asked.

Now that would be a blast, she replied. Sara needs to get some more experience. I can let her take all of the pictures while you let me have it.

So, Kellie was one of us too. That explains a lot. It was also a very weird, surreal conversation. Now for nudists, it's probably natural to stand together stark naked and talk about mundane things. But I'm no nudist. This was just a silly thing that got carried away. Clothes started coming off almost on a dare. I don't even call this skinny dipping. In skinny dipping you take off your clothes to keep them dry. We went in with our clothes on and then threw them away! Skinny dipping is practical; this is fun!

After a long time, we saw Jared and Olivia coming back but they were wrappedHuh? What do you mean, Why won't I tell you what happened? I wasn't there! Well, I have a pretty good idea, but if you really want to know, we'll have to get Omnipotent Narrator Guy back. Here he is.

ONG Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, Aquaman is selling chances in his pool to guess the date that Batman and Robin finally come out of the closet.

D No, no, no! Wrong story.

ONG Sorry. Jared and Olivia waded up the creek from the ford where the Blazer was parked. Jared was still wearing his light blue boxer shorts and Olivia was enjoying the view that the sheer wet cotton provided. They had a bit of a brown tint from the earlier mud wrestling, but they were plenty transparent.

Speaking of a muddy tint, Olivia waded along in her formerly white bustier, thong and over the elbow gloves. Without stockings, her garter straps flopped as she walked.

Here, let me fix that, Jared said. He grabbed one of them and with a loud rip yanked it off. Olivia cocked her head with her hands on her hips, but made no attempt to stop him when he reached for another one. She sighed loudly when he yanked the third one off. They both knew she had no intention of trying to salvage her clothes and wear them again. However she knew it would be more entertaining for him if she looked annoyed as he destroyed them.

Allow me, she said sarcastically and offered the fourth one to him which he yanked off like the others.

Happy now? she asked.

For the moment, Jared replied.

They got to the waterfall and Jared helped Olivia up the rocks to stand under it. Like earlier, it was running harder than normal because of the rain, but not so hard that it couldn't be enjoyed. Jared was running his hands up and down her back as they kissed and she felt him grab the bustier top where it closed with hooks and eyes in the back.

Oh, no! she cried, sounding like she was blubbering with the water cascading over her face. Jared ripped and the clasps came apart one by one. Olivia stepped back behind the falls, half glaring, half grinning, with her hands on her hips while Jared waved the wrecked top around like a flag.

I know you get excited a lot now, but do you think that maybe once I could just get undressed instead of being stripped naked? she asked coyly. We're outside in the daylight you know. She'd come to accept the destruction of her lingerie and sleepwear on an increasingly regular basis as the trade-off for Jared's new-found passion. Before the change she'd undergone, it was strictly missionary and she was lucky to climax. Ever since she'd done the drown the gown session it was at least twice and sometimes more and Jared seemed too eager to please her any way he could. The loss of sleepwear was a small price to pay. Besides, she had been forced to admit to herself that getting stripped was a turn on and she often didn't get any sleep anyway.

No one's coming back here, Jared said.

But we have to go back THERE! she said with her voice cracking from laughter. Deep down she really didn't care.

There's still one to go, he said.

Olivia growled comically. As if there was any doubt that once he started he wasn't going to stop until he'd ripped all of it off. Fine, but I get yours too! she relented.

Olivia watched with an annoyed expression that the grin behind it gave away that it was fake. Jared reached down and ripped the sides out of her thong leaving her in nothing but the gloves. She yanked them off herself and dropped them on the pile of torn fabric. Then Jared turned around and wiggled his butt at her, daring her to grab his boxer shorts. She reached around him and got hold of the fly and ripped it open all the way around to the sides. He dropped what was left of them on the pile and gently lowered his wife down onto the flat rock behind the falls. The pile of shredded underwear made an adequate pillow for her to lean her head on while Jared went to work.

Olivia enjoyed him lapping away at her as she had every time these past couple of weeks. He usually plunged in after she was done and he could take her once, maybe twice more before coming himself. However this time Olivia had other plans.

She let herself go when she came. They were outside in the middle of nowhere and the pounding wall of water in front of them would easily drown out her loud moaning. Jared stopped when she quieted down and started to climb on top of her.

Uh-uh, you lie down now, she said slyly.

Jared changed places with her, apparently thinking that she just wanted on top. The look on his face was priceless when she slipped her head up between his legs. If it's good for you, then it's good for me, she said and slid her mouth over the head of his erect cock.

She started out taking it easy like Darcie had told her just caressing it with her tongue and nodding her head to rub it against the roof of her mouth. Darcie had warned her that not every woman gets aroused by giving head right away, but to just give it time. However that was not the case with her. The feeling of his cock on her tongue combined with how excited he was getting was making her horny again. She slipped her free hand between her legs to play with herself.

Darcie had also told her not to worry about taking a lot of him in her mouth on her first try either. Believe me; as long as he gets off and you grin at him with a mouthful of cum before you swallow it down, he won't care. But Olivia wanted more. She'd never done this and as far as she knew, Jared had never experienced it, at least not in a long time. Also the sooner she figured out how far she could take it without gagging, the sooner she could learn to push herself all the way down on him! The mist of the waterfall kept her lips good and wet. Olivia began to push herself down his shaft and back up to the tip, a little more each time, still masturbating herself. She figured out that she could swallow him about halfway before she felt like she was going to throw up. Darcie told her to be patient. As she got better and enjoyed doing it more and more, the gag reflex would become easier to control.

Olivia looked up at Jared and he was nearly cross-eyed.

Oh! Shit! he yelled the first time she reached his half-way point. She heard his breathing reach the rapid peak it always did about that time and she knew it was the moment of truth, but for her there was no backing out. Jared started letting go and she kept lip-fucking him, feeling his wad roll down her tongue and hitting the roof of her mouth. Sure, it tasted funny, but it wasn't the sickening thing her feminist mother told her it would be. It was exciting!

Jared finished and Olivia licked him clean like Darcie had suggested. He just sat there panting with a shocked look on his face. WOW! he finally managed.

Olivia got up in his face and grinned as she made a deliberate swallow. That was fun, she purred. Can we do that again when we get home tonight?

SHIT! Jared stammered. She'd reduced him to one syllable words.

I could use a little finishing, she said as she sat back with her finger still playing around with her pussy. She quickly pulled it out when Jared thrust his head forward to give her round two.

They held each other back there for a while, stood under the falls, swam naked and dunked each other in the little pool before walking back to the Blazer. Olivia felt like Eve to Jared's Adam wading naked up the creek under the canopy of trees.

How do you suppose we deal with this little matter? Olivia asked back at the truck. She was holding her arms out wide and highlighting her total nakedness. If it came down to it, she guessed their friends seeing them that way would be worth it. If anyone would understand, it would be them.

Hang on, Jared said. He tossed their wrecked clothes into the open back end and then climbed up there. I thought I saw these earlier, he added. He pulled a couple of striped beach towels out of a gym bag and handed one to Olivia.

It's better than nothing, she said and wrapped up in it. Jared wrapped his towel around his waist and took her in his arms.

Glad you did all of this? he asked.

More than you can ever know, she replied.

It's too bad Darcie and Jim won't sell this old Blazer back to me, Jared said looking slyly at his wife. We all used to have a lot of good times in the mud with it.

I bet if we looked hard enough, we could find another one, Olivia replied, understanding full well that she was the reason he sold it and felt like kicking herself for it. Not only because she really wanted to go hell raising through the mud now, but because she realized now that it was wrong to whine and crank her husband into getting rid of such a prized possession. She added with a smile, I bet they made more than one.

They kissed and climbed into the Blazer and headed back out of the woods.

D I'm back! Was that hot enough for you? Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! After a long time we saw Olivia and Jared coming back out of the woods, but when they got out of the truck, they were wrapped in towels. We keep some beach towels in a gym bag in the back. We sometimes use the Blazer for errands, especially if they are going to take us near Hurricane Harbor, (for which we naturally have an annual family pass), or one of the reservoirs with beaches. Jim's picky about his Suburban but Jim, the girls and I can jump in that Blazer dripping wet, muddy or any way we please. Seeing them in the towels, I figured that they must have lost the rest of their clothes, (great minds think alike) and thought we would have a problem with them coming back buck naked. We'd have to fix that.

They were coming down toward the pond and hadn't noticed us yet. I got everyone to crawl into the shallow water and crouch down so you couldn't tell what we had on.

Hi, guys! I said. I think you're overdressed! That was the cue for all of us to jump up and start jumping around. I know. We're all nuts. Jared didn't miss a beat. He reached over and snatched Olivia's towel away and took off, leaving her chasing him past our house naked. He seemed to slow before he reached the dock, so I'm sure he let her catch him, but she yanked his towel off to reveal his lack of clothing and then he swept her up and charged down the dock, Olivia screaming all the way, until he jumped off the end and they both splashed down into the pond.

I've had so much fun doing these, Olivia said, and don't worry. I don't intend to backslide into high maintenance, ever. I just wish I could do some more.

Well I know what my Matron of Honor and I are going to be doing after MY wedding, assuming I ever meet the right guy, so you'll get one chance, Ricki said.

And you're welcome to come back for mine, Debbie said. I'm the only one left around here with a wedding gown in one piece so it's probably inevitable.

Well there was still more to that day. Like how we decided not to put our clothes on to clean up the basement since it was such a mess we'd just wreck them, and ended up looking like the stars of those R-rated pie fight videos when we smeared all the stuff from floor all over each other. But this is really long now so I think I'll say goodbye for the moment. But don't you worry, I'll be getting wet or messy again really soon. Fourth of July is coming up and that means Mud Volleyball! Olivia wants Jared to bring her as soon as she figures out how to tell her mom that she doesn't want to ride with her on the Woman Power float in the Texarkana parade anymore!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an anniversary date under the waterfall to get ready for. I'm thinking something in sheer white lace.

What? Am I going to 'deep throat' him again? That's a mighty personal question! Why I ought touhYes.