Darcie's Uniform Destruction

Maybe I should have called this A Tale of Four Business Suits (apologies to Charles Dickens). Jim decided that these would be a surprise for me each time, so I had no idea what I was getting into except that he couldn't destroy my work suits with pies since I'd been pied three times already in them and couldn't repeat himself on any of the four of them. I was dressed as I would for work in one of my Navy blue suits with the hotel's logo on the breast, light blue blouse, bra, panties and hose. For the first one, I wore proper white bra and bikini panties and a pair of thigh-high hose. I decided against a garter for this one, but you may see me in one by the time we're done. My pumps that I ended up swimming in on my last day at work survived enough to be worn again. Jim said I could reuse shoes as long as he thought they looked presentable, otherwise I'd have to wreck another pair. Isn't he sweet?

He'd asked me how outlandish he could go with any of these and I told him to just use his imagination, but not to bankrupt us. We picked a Saturday to do the first one. Jim took the girls over to my folks that Friday evening and then didn't come home until late. He got up and took off on Saturday morning and returned around noon to pick me up. Knowing what was in store, I had a tote bag with extra clothes. He drove me out to the new house and took me back around to the patio, which would eventually be covered but not yet. I understood why he had been so busy. Mounted on a stand behind a chair was a sign that said, Complaint Department. Two ladders were on either side of the chair and C-clamped to them was something he'd obviously built. Ten buckets were suspended from what looked like a clothes line on pulleys. The first one was right over the chair and the rest were off to the left. A rope coming down on the left side looked to be able to advance the buckets to the right. Each one had a string fixed to the bottom and run back up to the frame that all of this was mounted to that was suspended between the ladders. The strings ran through eyelet screws and came down the left side next to the rope. They were numbered one through ten on that end and would obviously dump the buckets when pulled. The buckets had been covered with plastic, presumably to keep bugs and varmints out. Damn that techy Yankee. He'd built the best slime machine that anyone had ever seen and did it in two days.

Looks like a lot of work went into this, I commented, truly admiring how it looked. Of course it needed to work to really impress me and if it worked, I'd be a royal mess very soon!

All the better to trash you with, my dear, Jim replied.

Jim's video camera was on a tripod facing the chair. A box and a collection of full buckets was around it. This isn't going on the internet, is it? I asked.

Nope, just for private viewing; like the 'Stoogettes' video, he said. We had watched the Stoogette video a couple of times before going to bed and both times I got my world rocked, if you know what I mean. Jim had quite a collection of videos and I didn't really care since I liked watching most of them too, but watching one with me in it really got his motor running.

So what's the plan?

Just sit there and read the answers to your guests' complaints.

I'd seen one done like this with pies in a department store complaint department. I knew the drill.

Jim started recording and I sat there trying to look sexy. Oh miss, he said, there is a mouse in my bathroom.

Hold it down! I replied. The rest of the guests will get mad if they find out your room only has one mouse in it!

Jim pulled the first string. I soon felt the glop hit my head and immediately I was bathed in a layer of green slime. I wore my hair down, so it flopped forward and kept it out of my face that time. Slime rolled over my breasts and down into my blouse where I had left the top few buttons undone. I felt it ooze between my boobs and settle in my bra. More rolled over the outside of my jacket and puddled on my skirt on my lap and then rolled on down my legs. When it stopped, I pushed my hair back out of my face and smoothed it down. The next bucket would cover my face for sure!

Well! I said. I think that was uncalled for! Next guest, please.

Jim pulled the rope and the next bucket was positioned over me. Ma'am, my pillow is really hard, he said.

So are the heads of most people who stay here! I replied. Next came pink slime. Of course with my hair slicked down, it rolled right over my forehead and down my face and neck. I lifted my face up to look into the flow and shook my head in disgust. Of course this allowed even more to channel right into my jacket and blouse. I felt a huge blob forming in the bottom of my blouse so when the flow stopped, I lifted my jacket and blouse up to let it run off my stomach and over my skirt. Then I squeezed what had filled my bra up and out from between my boobs and finally smoothed out the pink and green mess over the front of my skirt.

These guests get worse about the truth every year, I griped.

Jim pulled another bucket over me, but also picked one up. Miss, the water in the pool is dirty, Jim stated.

I don't doubt it, I replied. For most of the people who stay here it's the first bath they've had in weeks!

Jim tossed the yellow slime from the bucket he was holding and it splattered all over my front. If you pause the video at the right instant, I have completely disappeared under a yellow tidal wave. I snorted yellow slime out of my nose and burst out laughing, cleared my face and slicked my hair back again. Ohhh! I whined.

Miss, the food here is just awful! Jim complained.

What? You again? I thought all you had problems with was the pies, I answered. He pulled the third string and blue slime poured from above my head and covered me. I was just sitting there and taking it now. I cleared my face and surveyed myself. There was hardly any untouched material on my suit or hose now and I was sitting in a multicolored slime puddle.

Fine! I said. What's wrong this time?

Breakfast! Jim answered and stepped forward with one of the buckets next to the camera. He stepped slightly into frame and raised it over my head without letting me see what was in it. I soon found out when cold oatmeal began pouring over me in clumps.

Ooooo! I involuntarily complained as it landed in lumps in my hair and fell down the front and back of my jacket.

That batch was too lumpy, Jim said, and this one is too runny.

Oh, no! I exclaimed as he approached me with another bucket. He started dumping this one over my head. It was watered down cold oatmeal. He stopped before the bucket was empty and pulled out on my jacket and blouse in the front with one hand and dumped the rest of the contents of the bucket inside with the other. I shrieked when the cold concoction hit my bare skin. I lifted the bottom of my jacket and blouse and let the glop run out over my ruined skirt.

I sat there staring at the camera for several seconds, shaking my head. I don't get paid enough to deal with these complaints, I said.

I'm not done yet, Jim stated. The toppings for pancakes and French toast are the worst!

Which ones don't you like? I asked, knowing I'd get to sample each one the hard way.

Well, let's see, Jim began. There's blackberries. He pulled the string for the next bucket and dark blackberry sauce, just like what was in the bakery pies he liked to hit me with, poured over my head and went right down my blouse. Once that was done, I squeezed gobs of it out of the top of my bra.

Advancing the fifth bucket over me, Jim said, There's the syrup.

I screamed at the prospect, but that didn't stop him from pouring maple syrup from the bucket over my head. Even though my hair was full of other messy substances, I could feel the syrup penetrating and deeply matting my once-perfect hair. Yes, I was getting aroused. I always got aroused when Jim trashed me.

Powered sugar, he stated and dumped the sixth bucket over my head, coating me in a white layer of powdered sugar.

And who could forget chocolate? he asked and tossed one of the bucket's contents at me, splattering me with chocolate syrup. I was just sitting there giggling by now since I didn't have any lines during this barrage. Jim grabbed another bucket and walked up to me. He pulled out on my skirt's waistband and dumped more chocolate inside to wreck the only article of clothing that was relatively unscathed, namely my panties. I'll give him this; he's thorough.

My hair was weighed down and in my face again so I pushed it back and cleared my face off.

Ma'am, would you say that by now your suit is totally ruined? he asked.

Yes, I believe that is obvious, I answered throwing my hands out to my sides for emphasis.

Good, then it won't break the rules if I do this, he said and swept a chocolate cream pie out of the box and threw it at me in one motion. I just grinned and closed my eyes to let the sweet projectile explode on impact. Technically he didn't break the rules since the pie wasn't used to ruin my suit. I'd confirmed it was past being ruined.

What was that for? I asked through the layer of chocolate and whipped cream that now helped all the other substances obscure my features.

Your desserts are still terrible too!

You didn't think so when you were eating the kitchen's pie and my pie at the same time! was my retort. Jim decked me again with a banana cream.

I cleared my face and sat there looking defeated. Then I perked up as if someone else had come into my office.

Finally someone new! I said. What's your beef?

I'd like to complain about how messy the staff is around here, Jim said. You all look like you've been in a food fight.

I'll be the first to admit; I could use a good shower, I said. Jim dumped the seventh bucket over me which was full of water. It rinsed what it could, but glop was inside all of my clothes and water alone didn't stand a chance against maple syrup.

That really didn't do a very good job, I complained. Jim tossed another bucket of water at me. My giggles came back.

Once the giggles had subsided, Jim said, Darcie, we've been getting a lot of complaints today.

Well why didn't they come to me? I asked cluelessly. It's my department!
I was answered with the final three buckets. The first was orange slime. I looked up into it and let it run into my jacket and blouse. I was really into getting slimed by this point. It's like playing in the mud; once you're covered you don't want to get out. (Funny, Jim says the same thing about 'eating me out'.) He advanced the machine as soon as the orange ran out and gave me a purple slime shower. Finally I got green again.

When the green stopped flowing, I was completely covered. I wiped my eyes clear and said with the same clueless tone, No, really. Why didn't they come to me? Jim finished me off with a chocolate cream in the face, a blackberry cream to my boobs and then a two-banana-cream sandwich.

I've got a complaint, I said, my dry cleaning bill! Jim poured the last bucket of pink slime that was next to the tripod over me slowly while I sat there and pouted into the camera.

Finally, Jim handed me a blackberry cream and had me hold it in my lap out of the frame of the camera after he pulled in for a head and shoulders shot.

Oh well, I began, I can't make it any worse! I slammed the pie in my lap up into my face hard and rubbed the plate around.

So, how did you like that? Jim asked. It was actually a line in his script.

My last scripted line was, If you want to know the truth, it was a little anticlimactic.

So you want climactic, eh? Jim asked slyly. I knew I was in for it and awaited it eagerly. With the video still running, he yanked me up standing and ripped my jacket open tossing buttons everywhere. He wasted no time stripping me of my blouse and then my skirt. When I was reduced to just my underwear and stockings, and uncontrollable giggling, he re-aimed and camera down our dock, swept me up in his arms and ran for the water. I screamed as he leapt off the end and we headed for our splashdown. Of course I was covered in pie and slime and soaking wet already, so the scream was only to make things look good. Getting swept off my feet and dunked was one of my favorite things. My pumps flew off my feet, (I wasn't really trying to keep them on), and are somewhere in the murk on the bottom of the pond.

We swam out to the dock to ride the slide a few times and then I dove in and headed for the dock again. Jim chased me out of the water and back up the dock to the house. Since the carpet still wasn't laid yet, I ran right in dripping wet and straight up the stairs to what would soon be our bedroom. That sly Yankee was thinking ahead just as I'd hoped and had blown up the air mattress.

Jim cornered me in our bedroom and in less than ten seconds, my bra and panties joined the rest of my suit in the useless rags category and I was pinned down on the air mattress, one of my favorite situations. Do I really need to describe what happened next?

The only bad thing, if you want to look at it that way, was that with my clothes destroyed, I had to go ahead and put on what I'd brought as a spare outfit, denim Capri's and a thin sleeveless top. The water wasn't turned on in the house yet so to get the syrup out of my hair, I had to wash it outside with the hose, and I wasn't going to stand there naked. I ended up soaking wet again and had to ride home that way. Jim thought it was fair since he hadn't brought along any spare clothes. Oh well, it was an excuse to jump in the pond again, right?

A few evenings later, Jim said he'd arranged for the next event. I'll go ahead and tell you about it since it's a lot racier than the slimings. He handed me a specific suit and blouse and asked that I not inspect them too closely. Well that was a red flag if I ever saw one, but I'm a good sport, remember? I placed them in a garment bag along with a new pair of pumps. Well not exactly new, just a different pair to replace the pair currently in Davey Jones Locker. We left Paula in charge for the evening and Jim took off cross town with me. I eventually figured out that we were headed to Steven and Beth's house. Their little one was with a sitter I discovered.

Beth was already wearing an outfit similar to what I had in my garment bag. While she liked to dress up to go out, her office was business casual and I never knew her to ever wear a suit. This was a little strange.

What gives? I asked. You never dress like that. She was wearing a bright red skirt and jacket combination, a white blouse, stockings, a string of red costume pearls and tan pumps.

You just need to get yourself ready, Steven replied for Beth who just stood there grinning. You can use the spare bedroom.

I'd decided to go all out for this time. Instead of proper underwear, I wore lacey Navy blue boy shorts and bra and had a matching garter belt to hold up fishnet stockings. Yeah, I knew they were destined to be trashed, but you need to understand that Jim makes really good money with his new job and he loves to let me spend some of it on sexy things so I have no shortage. If he ever complains about me wearing sexy things only to wreck them, I'll stop. Of course he hasn't complained yet!

I walked back out, dressed properly for whatever was to come. Jim and Steven were gone.

Where is everyone? I asked Beth.

They're waiting for us in the basement, she replied. Come on!

Is that suit new? I asked.

New from Goodwill, Beth replied. I've become quite the shopper there since your wedding and Steven discovering that he could get away with hitting me with pie and cake.

I knew we were a lot alike! I followed her down the steps and stopped to laugh out loud at the bottom. Sitting on top of a couple of gym mats was an inflatable pool. It appeared to be filled ankle-deep with cooking oil. Several Sam's Club sized bottles scattered around confirmed my suspicion.

Welcome to the 'Main Event'! our two husbands shouted in unison.

I suppose you were in on this too! I said to Beth.

Well it was Jim's idea, she said. He told Steven about it and he had to let me in on it.

What are we waiting for then? I asked. Let's get in there and wrestle! Shoes or no shoes, sweetie?

You can take them off, Jim replied chuckling. It's probably safer that way.

I kicked off my pumps and hopped over the side of the pool. I nearly did the splits and ended up sprawled out in the slick cooking oil. Instead I just up splashed it up my stockings.

I'm going to be more careful, Beth said as she stepped over the side. We faced each other from opposite ends of the rectangular pool.

Best of three pins, or until we get tired of watching you, whichever comes later, Steven said. Now go for it!

Shrieking and giggling, Beth and I lunged at each other and both went down with an oily splash as soon as we connected with each other. I felt the slimy cooking oil saturating my suit, blouse and underwear and immediately started getting bothered. Jim had ruined me for life; I loved making a mess of myself now. I soon figured out why Jim had given me this specific suit and blouse and why he didn't want me to look at it too closely. I reached around Beth with both arms to try to get her in a hold and felt the seam in my jacket going up my back start to give way and rip apart. My suit had been prepped to breakaway like we'd done when we were the stoogettes. A tug on Beth's shoulder and her sleeve easily beginning to rip off confirmed that her suit was the same way. At least I'd been allowed to pick my own underwear for today!

She caught me off guard wondering about our clothes and shoved the back of my head down into the slick oil. She held me with one arm long enough to scoop up a handful onto the top of my head before I got free. Cooking oil was running down my face as a jumped up. Both our suits were totally drenched in it now. I caught her around the waist and knocked her onto her back in order to return the favor and soak her hair with the slick stuff.

Beth got free and got behind me to rip both my sleeves off. I turned around and grabbed her lapels and stripped her of her jacket completely. It's a wonder that these clothes didn't fall apart as we were putting them on as easily as they ripped apart.

She grabbed me and we both went down again, shrieking with laughter as we fell in the oil again. I was really starting to like the feeling of it covering me, but my clothes were killing the mood.

Our suits are toast anyway, I whispered to Beth. Let's just get it over with.

Jim had seen Beth in her underwear both on the Three Stoogettes video and live at the Bachelor party, and Steven had seen me in mine, both then and back in the day at that lingerie party, so neither of us cared. We tore into each other. Beth stripped me of the rest of my jacket and we quickly tore each other's blouses and skirts to pieces.

Beth was wearing a forest green bra with black lace trim, matching bikini panties and stay-up fishnet stockings. I've said it over and over: I like men, but rolling around in that oil and feeling our slippery bodies rubbing up and down each other will wear down anyone's resistance eventually. I guess even straight women can appreciate another woman's looks. Why else could I watch those wet and messy videos and get as turned on as Jim does? Anyway, I was really getting hot and bothered myself when Beth suddenly stopped wrestling me and looked me in the eye.

Sorry, Darcie, she said and lunged forward, locking lips with me. I was sort of surprised but I didn't resist her.

There you go, guys! You've wanted to hear about something like that ever since I talked about us showering the mud off together!

Whoa! Whoa! That's not in the script! Jim shouted. His look said he was entertained but shocked at what he saw. He wasn't the only one. I was pretty shocked myself!

You should have at least warned us to get a video camera, Steven piped in.

Beth and I were both embarrassed at getting carried away like that. We both sort of slinked up against the far side of the pool, laughing nervously. I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make things worse or give the guys something else to make fun of. However Beth did.

You guys set this up! We got hot and bothered and we're the only people in here! she said. You're out there.

We can fix that! Steven said.

The guys raced to see who could get stripped to his underwear first. Jim wore his signature blue knit boxers and Steven had on a pair of gray boxer briefs. They leapt over the side of the pool and immediately pounced on the two of us.

I tried to wrestle, but even covered in cooking oil, I couldn't get away from Jim, not that I tried very hard to. After a few feeble escape attempts, I finally submitted to his hold and let my head fall back into the oily puddle in the bottom of the pool. Sure, kissing tasted funny with both of us covered in cooking oil, but sometimes you have to be willing to try new things. It would be a lot more expensive, but if we ever do this again, I want to have flavored lubricant in the pool.

If you thought rolling around and rubbing against Beth got me horny, rolling around covered in oil with my one true love made me nearly explode. Jim felt like a tree trunk was rubbing against my leg through his boxers.

Beth had to be feeling it too. She was wincing a little. I got an idea. I'd probably be sorry. Wait! Who am I kidding? I never get sorry about any of my ideas!

Yours as hard as mine is? I asked.

Probably harder, Beth giggled.

Hey! both guys said together.

Think we ought to let them have us? Beth asked.

I don't know, I replied, removing Jim's hand from my right boob. Getting cleaned up might take the fight out of them. It was time to see how crazy Beth could get.

I suppose we'll just have to let them go for it right here, Beth said. I won't tell anyone of you won't!

Well she'd opened Pandora's Box now! She was thinking of doing the same thing I was! No way to act like I was only kidding now. It's okay with me, if it's okay with you guys, I said.

Jim and Steven shared a glance. One person having second thoughts probably would have ruined the mood, but they simultaneously began working our bra clasps. As my bra slipped off my oily body, revealing my 34-DD's for all three of them to see, I said, Not a word of this to anyone!

I promise, Jim said.

Me, too, added Steven. I trusted both of them and Beth, so I relaxed and enjoyed the sensation of it tickling a little as Jim fumbled with the clasp on my oil-saturated garter belt. I didn't see Steven relieve Beth of her bra, but the next time I glanced at her, she was also topless. Jim was yanking down on my boy shorts so I raised my butt up a little to assist him and soon I was left in nothing but a pair of fishnet stockings which were halfway down my legs since Jim had pushed them down to rub my thighs.

Take it all off, lover, I whispered and he smoothed the stockings on down my legs and off my feet. I had a little trick I liked to do. I'd learned to pull his shorts down and off with my toes. I glanced over at Beth and Steven again, and they were both bare-assed too. That was the last time I really paid any attention to them since Jim played a little with me, (I never needed that much foreplay), and plunged right in. Yeah, it was strange at first getting nailed alongside my best friend, but once I realized that she was getting it as good as I was, I stopped caring. Jim ran his hand through my oily mop of hair and dove his tongue into my mouth while his throbbing manhood played my pussy like a fine violin. If you want to know why I'm so eager to let him thoroughly mess me and then have his way with me, it's because the messy sex is that damn good!

I was somewhat aware of Steven and Beth's heavy breathing next to me. At first I'd gone from being a little concerned about all of us being together in this little pool to not caring. I was beginning to go from not caring, to actually feeling like it was adding something. I could look over and see them providing our own private porno for us and we were doing the same for them. After all, we weren't swapping. We were just enjoying it in the same room at the same time. There was something erotic about it, not that I was ready to make a habit of it, yet. It's funny how your mind wanders, even during powerful love-making. I actually thought about if we ever travelled together, we wouldn't have to worry about being in the same hotel room now since we'd all seen each other naked. Weird, huh?

Every nerve in my body was tingling as Jim slid up and down on me, aided by the oil that coated both of us. I could feel it starting to happen for me at the same time I heard Beth going over the edge. I clamped tightly on Jim's thrusting cock and could feel him letting go. I fully intended this to be a once on a lifetime thing at first, but what a rush Beth and I both lying there in the oil, moaning loudly while our guys nailed us with extreme prejudice. Jim coated my insides and judging by Steven's noises he was making, Beth was getting the same treatment. Jim collapsed onto me and then rolled off onto his side in the oil which was pretty deep with four bodies now displacing it.

I don't suppose you two guys want to be sensitive and all talk about our feelings now, Beth kidded.

Very funny, Steven said.

Yes, let's make the awkward part even more so, Jim added. I kissed him. This probably wasn't the best time to mention that this had really turned me on and I was thinking about asking Beth if she wanted to do it again sometime.

Beth and Steven let Jim and me use their basement shower first.

You didn't feel pressured by us, did you? I asked.

Group sex wasn't high on my list of things to do today, Jim replied, but it at least it was just you and I doing 'the act'.

That was all we really said about it. We were dressed, Jim sans his oily underwear, when we came out of the bathroom. Beth and Steven were wrapped in old blankets and both looked like they were really ready to get cleaned up and dressed again.

We'll let ourselves out, I said to a sheepishly grinning Beth. This was definitely a time when we didn't want to overstay our welcome. She and I would get plenty of chances to talk about it later.

I told you the destruction of uniform number 2 was a lot racier! Three and four will have a hard time topping that. I'll be back with their fates as soon as I know what they are!