UMD Stories


Darcie--Chapter 37--Kellie's Big Day Part 1 (Or Carly's Muddy Birthday)
Story by wetgalfanx
Posted 5/9/18     86 views
Kellie's Big Day
Or Countdown to Clutch Part 5

Hi, everybody! Darcie here! Yeah, I know the Clutch thing was only supposed to be three parts but I made it longer. So sue me. Better yet, pie me! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! Wait! Not everybody at once! Sheesh!

https://78.media.tumblr.com/cefeb866326b41a1335722a72f7caccc/tumblr_p8hm7edEvP1wkiw9ho2_540.jpg

Anyway, we're jumping ahead a bit. I promised that the whole Clutch thing would eventually make sense and I am going to explain it. Jim entered a contest when he was on the road in Houston for work. The grand prize was a private party in a suite at a Houston Rockets game. The winner could choose the game, provided that a suite was available. The prize also included a visit from Clutch the bear, the Rockets mascot. We chose a Dallas Mavericks game, (naturally) in November and I'll tell you all about it once I get through this chapter including how we girls sort of hijacked the party for a little party of our own.

What? You thought that was what this chapter was about? Well the joke's on you! SPLAT! And apparently the pie's on me. Good shot and a nice choice; blackberry cream my favorite. I'm going to have to stop letting you guys bring pies in here or I'll never get finished. No, I need to round out the rest of summer and what happened in early fall before we move on to us meeting Clutch. I promise it gets really wet, really messy, really sexy and if you didn't know better, you'd think we stepped through the looking glass into The Parallel Universe. It will have that sort of feel by the time it's done.

I still remember the day we got the call about Jim winning the contest. It was on Saturday two weekends before school started and it was Carly's birthday. We'd planned a big outdoor party with all of her friends. I'd said in the invitations to make sure they either wore or brought something to swim in. A lot of the girls' friends are from families that have lived in the area as long as mine, but some are suburban transplants who moved out here when all of the housing popped up. Some of them wouldn't think twice about jumping right in the pond in whatever they had on while others won't go near the water without a bathing suit. I figured the way I worded it covered all the bases.

We had perfect weather on our vacation except for one day. It poured the entire day so we looked like drowned rats all day long instead of just part of the day after a water ride or getting thrown in the pool or something. However back in the Dallas area, the warm, humid and very very soggy summer marched on. The day before Carly's party the forecast for the next day was a one hundred percent chance of rain. At least it was making up for the drought we had the summer before. The reservoirs were nice and full now. Anyway, parents were starting to call and ask if we were still planning on cooking out and swimming. I told them all that Jim and I would discuss it with Carly and get back to them. Then I looked out the window and saw the girls playing. The sun was out now, but it had rained all morning. The three of them were in old cutoffs and tank tops and were running at full speed across the back yard, hitting the mud slide like maniacs, emerging as big brown blobs and then jumping off the dock to rinse off and do it all over again.

I don't know why I didn't think of it before! If I could get married in a downpour and spend more of the reception wearing my gown in the pond than on land, why was I worried that the rain and mud were going to ruin a party for a kid who was more at home playing in either of them as she was in front of a video game? I immediately started calling all of the parents and telling them the party was on, just make sure their kids wore clothes they could ruin because it might just get a little messy!

The next day was an absolute blast! I wore cutoffs and a man's shooter t-shirt, much like I did to mow the lawn in the rain, but I wore a sports bra underneath instead of a regular one with the kids around. I wouldn't care if it was just the girls and Jim around, but some of the mothers of boys might not appreciate me showing off my bra under my shirt. (I've seen worse at Copperas Branch Park beach and Turner Falls, but that's beside the point.) The kids all got dropped off either in old clothes or old bathing suits with old clothes over them and such. We invited all the parents to stay if they wanted to. Jim and I were both already soaking wet from setting things up in the rain, but he was on the deck getting the grill ready and I was the one greeting parents as they pulled into the drive so I was the one getting the odd looks from many of them. However one accepted my invitation. It was Carly's best friend Jami's mother, Karen. Jim and I both knew her pretty well from the girls playing together so much. She had been divorced about a year and a half after her husband left her for another woman. Personally, I think he was an idiot since Karen was extremely pretty and stacked like an underwear model. In all honesty, the cheating and breakup had left her pretty bitter at first. She just now seemed ready to think about other men. I thought it might have been good that Jami spent so much time with Carly so she could see that happy families did exist and all men weren't like her father who by all accounts, wasn't much of a dad.

You're welcome to stay if you want to, I said standing barefoot in the drive next to her car. I was already soaked through my underwear and my bedraggled hair was stuck to both sides of my face. Warm rain was pounding me and water was dripping from my hair, nose, chin and clothes. I was in country girl heaven. We're going to have fun no matter what the weather's like, I added.

Karen was talking to me through a six inch crack in the window. Even with it rolled down only that much, she was getting damp. We both heard girlie shrieking and saw Jami and Carly running down the dock in shorts and camisole tank tops. Although she'd only got out of the car less than a minute earlier, Jami was pretty drenched and the plunge into the inviting pond finished the job the rain started. Karen watched her and Carly jump in the water with a smiling expression that some people get when they watch kids playing so care freely.

See? They don't care about the weather, I coaxed. Why should we?

Karen snickered sheepishly and said, I don't know. I don't want to wreck my new cross trainers.

I held up one foot and said, We have a barefoot-friendly yard.

She grinned and I saw the moment she gave herself over. All right, she said. Just let me pull all the way up so other people can get in here.

Karen rolled up her window and turned her wipers back on, which splashed me right in the face. Oh shit! I read her lips say through the closed car, but I laughed to let her know there was nothing to worry about. Did she really think a little more water was going to hurt me?

She pulled up behind my car and I saw her taking off her shoes and footy socks. Without another moment's hesitation, she swung open the driver's door and plopped two bare feet onto the wet asphalt driveway.

Wee! Karen squealed, throwing her head back and letting her blond ponytail drape down behind her. I haven't just stood out in the rain like this in years. I should do it more often. They say it's good for the soul.

If that's the case, then I should have one of the healthiest souls around. I've heard that, I replied with a smile.

I was going to go to the gym and workout for a while during the party, she said, but I guess I can just go swimming with my clothes on now for some exercise. The kids are enjoying it.

At that moment, the area between the dock and the raft was full of boys and girls mostly Carly's age with a couple of younger siblings who had stayed to play with Bailey. Paula and her BFF Autumn were on the raft on the far side talking with their feet dangling in the water. It brought back memories of Brad, Jacob and my friends all telling their parents they were coming over here to play and all of us ending up swimming with all our clothes on. When you think about it, that's the way it ought to be. Why change into something else just to jump into a pond when you're already hot and sweaty from playing outside?

In the short time we'd been standing there Karen was well on her way to total saturation. Her hair was totally drenched. Her yellow French cut crop top was soaked down the front, at least over her what I would estimate to be thirty-si breasts. They shielded the rest of her top and her shorts in the front for now. A black or possibly Navy blue bra was beginning to shine through the fabric as it lost its opaqueness.

Yes, yes, I know that this is called Kellie's Big Day and here I am talking about my daughter's birthday party. But I'm describing someone who is very pretty with a great body slowly getting soaked in the rain. I can stop if you likeI didn't think so.

Now as I was saying, when Karen turned to look at the kids swimming, I saw that her back was drenched through already. The yellow material of her top was even more transparent in the back and clung tightly to her bra straps and the clasp. The gray running shorts that covered her tight, round ass that, as Jim likes to say about mine, was just big enough to get a good grip on, was about four shades darker than when she first got out of the car and showed off the outline of bikini panties that were undoubtedly as soaked through now as the clothing on the outside was. She looked like she was starting to enjoy becoming drenched. My mind went through names of eligible bachelors I knew, trying to determine which ones might enjoy a kid's birthday party in a downpour.

Mmmmm, this feels so good, Karen commented, probably to herself. How's the water in the pond?

It warms up fast in the spring and stays that way all summer, I replied. Sometimes we stay out there until the wee hours of the morning it feels so good. Let's go.

We started toward the backyard when Jim poked his head around the house. Darc, can you hold this umbrella for me? He was as drowned as I was. Ok, the rain hadn't done all of this. With one girl's birthday in each of the months of June, July and August, a tradition we'd started the first summer we were married was letting the birthday girl push both of us in the pond. Today it didn't really matter though. We were both half-soaked anyway by the time we got down to the dock.

With a snarky tone, Karen stole my line. I think you're well past needing an umbrella, Jim, she teased.

Oh, hi, Karen! Jim greeted. So you've decided to stay and party with the rest of the drowned rats. She giggled at him teasing her back. I didn't care one bit. Jim's only got eyes and everything else for me. I wanted her to hold it over me as I bring the hot dogs and hamburgers out to grill, he explained.

Ooooh! she said, nodding exaggeratedly.

You go on and jump in if you want, I said. You'll be that soaked in a minute anyway. I've got to help him. I'll be down in a minute.

Karen shot me a wicked smile, the kind you put on when your being a little naughty. I guess she thought of it that way. For a lot of adults, doing things like jumping in to swim with your clothes on is something for kids to do, hence all the uptight parents sweating it out while their kids have fun in fountains and such. Thank God I never grew out of that!

She turned and trotted through the yard until she got to the edge of the dock and stopped.

HEY, JAMI! she yelled to her daughter who apparently didn't realize that she never left. Once she had her daughter's attention, she took off on a dead run down the dock and dove off the end into the pond.

Yay, Mom! I heard Jami yell.

I headed around to the deck and held the umbrella so Jim could bring the meat out. If it's warm and you're not dressed up, my philosophy is that umbrellas are for pussies, so I made sure that no part of me whatsoever was protected while I escorted him to the portable gazebo tent we'd set up on the deck to cover the grill. Jim started putting the hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill. Water dripped from his clothes and ran from mine in steady streams. With a wedding and now this birthday party, I started to wonder if outdoor parties in the rain were just going to be our thing. Bailey had already announced that she thought this would be Carly's best party ever because it was just like the wedding and we would all be soaking wet all day.

Swimming in the rain is certainly a hit, Jim commented. Karen seems to have taken right to it. She had just gone down the slide with Jami and Carly right behind her. She swam for the dock and climbed out with the girls hot on her heels. They grabbed her and with all three of them shrieking and giggling pulled her back in with them.

Just wait until they want to play on the mud slide, I said. Then we'll see what kind of a sport she is.

Jim finished loading the top rack with hot dogs and the bottom rack with burgers and closed the lid on the gas grill. We were chatting about how we were going to do opening presents without them getting soaked and didn't notice Karen walk up the yard until she got to the deck.

I'm so sorry, she began. I'm out there playing around. Can I help with anything?

Karen's yellow crop top had completely given up trying to hide the details of her bra, which I decided was black, after a good dunking in the pond. And I was worried about mine showing through the arm holes in my shirt! Her bra was textured in the cups with black lace around the edges not exactly what I would have worn for a workout to sweat through, but hey; she's single now. Maybe there are a lot of nice looking guys at her gym. The thin gray running shorts had become very clingy in strategic places. Her underwear was apparently pretty thin too since she was displaying a rather nice, if opaque, camel toe that she either hadn't noticed or didn't care about. Mascara was running down her cheeks. Makeup to go to the gym was another sign that maybe getting in shape wasn't all she was after there.

No, we invited you to be a guest, I said. We'll have the food ready in a few minutes. Go back and have fun.

But I really want to help, she prodded.

I saw Jim get one of his mischievous looks. He grabbed Karen under her arms from behind.

Oh, no! she cried with laughter cracking her voice.

Get 'er feet, Jim told me.

I endured some playful kicking and got Karen's feet and we lifted her up.

No! No! No! she pleaded between laughs as we hauled her down the yard and onto the dock.

We got into position and with the kids laughing and cheering, started to swing her and count. On three we launched the screaming Karen back into the pond. She came up and treaded water, grinning at us. I can take a hint! she yelled.

Now stay put! Jim commanded and then added, On second thought

I acted like I was taken by surprise when he gave me a shove and sent me toppling into the water.

You make sure she stays down here, he barked. The kids were having a blast watching the adults clowning around in the rain.

DO ME! Carly shouted coming up the dock ladder. Throw me in!

I have to watch the grill, Jim said. Maybe after we eat.

We can do it! Karen said and swam for the ladder. Jim tended his grill and Karen and I swung kid after kid into the pond. Dvu, except I'm on the tossing end this time!

We were on about the third trip through the line and starting to get tired when Jim called down, Hey! The meat's done. If you really want to help, come up and bring out the other stuff.

Karen followed me up toward the house. Why are guys like Jim always taken? she asked.

There's still plenty more like him, I replied. I guess I really did need to brainstorm the eligible bachelors I knew.

We brought out the buns, chips, etc. Karen was impressed on how we'd prepped the house with sheet plastic and carpet runners going across the family room carpet to catch the water. I figured that the tile floor in the kitchen could just get wet and we'd mop later.

Everyone found a spot to eat either under the gazebo tent or on the covered patio. I didn't care if it rained on me the rest of the day, but I refused to eat soggy food.

Then it was time for the cake. Of course around here, we can't just blow out the candles and eat the cake, no sir. Paula enlisted the help of Aunt Ashley to play a little prank on her sister. (In case you were wondering why no family was at this party, we already had the family party a couple of days earlier.) We picked out a design for the cake and then had Ashley decorate it for us. However Paula had Ashley make a duplicate dummy cake that was a hollowed out cake filled with chocolate pie filling.

I'll get the cake! Paula eagerly volunteered. She and Autumn giggled, and I knew something was up, but I wasn't about to stop it. My brothers pulled more than their fair share of pranks on me, and vice versa. I credit that for growing up to be such a good sport who is happy to take whatever Jim dishes out.

Paula emerged from the house with Carly's decorated cake topped with chocolate whipped icing and complete with lit candles that Paula had arranged around the perimeter. We sang Happy Birthday huddled under the gazebo tent so the cake wouldn't get soggy while Paula held it in front of her sister. At the end of the song, Carly blew out the candles and as soon as Paula was sure they were out, SPLAT! She shoved the cake up into poor Carly's face with her other hand behind Carly's head to keep it in place. Paula was deadly accurate. She hit Carly square in the face. Chocolate pie filling squirted out all sides, completely coating the top of Carly's head and dropping a terminally staining chocolate blob onto her well-worn camisole tank top. Oh, and we can't forget about gobs of it blasting out of the sides, and splattering back on Paula's blue tube top and plastering poor Jami like getting a pie in the face.

Karen shrieked and tried to hide the fact that she was suppressing a laugh by holding her hand over her mouth. I didn't. I let it go. I can't help it. It was funny. The women in this family all seem to eventually need to know how to take a pie in the face anyway. Carly may as well learn that part now before she gets old enough to find out the fun it can lead to! This wasn't her first time anyway. (See: Darcie's Muddy Rescue: Part 2)

Paula let go of the cardboard plate and it slowly slid off after sticking for a second. Carly dug her eyes out and then attempted to scowl at her older sister, but I saw the hint of a grin start to form and as soon as she and Jami looked at each other, they both burst out laughing to join everyone else.

I didn't think there would a problem. Pranks are pulled in this house all the time. I'm married to the king of pranksters and I'm his favorite (and oh so willing) target. Then again, I've admitted to being a glutton for punishment in that regard. As far as I'm concerned, every pie in the face, every dunk in the pond, every soaking with the hose and every piece of ruined clothing says, I love you! So Hit me with your best shot, you sneaky Yankee!

However there are rules where the kids pranking each other is concerned. They carryover from me growing up. First, the prank can't be malicious or really mean. It can't be something that would upset you if it happened to you. As long as it meets those guidelines, the victim isn't allowed to get upset and most importantly, once war is declared the original prankster also can't get upset when the victim gets revenge.

Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that? Bailey asked her big sister.

Because you can't keep a secret! Paula teased.

Paula wiped the over splatter from her front and went in for the real cake. Carly and Jami were cracking everyone up, giggling and squealing wiping pudding and icing off themselves and scooping up what dropped onto the deck and smearing it all over each other. Karen stood with her mouth hanging open while they both smeared whatever they could into whatever clean spot of the other's clothes they could find. Carly scooped up a big pile with both hands and plopped it onto Jami's head and soon she looked like she was the one who had been hit with the cake. Karen finally started laughing at them.

I understand why you said to make sure they wore clothes they could ruin, she said. Oh well, let them have their fun; I guess.

I don't understand why they haven't been in the mud slide yet, I said to her and pointed to the long, muddy, grassless gully beside the pond.

We all decided to wait until we'd had cake and Carly had opened her presents, Paula said as she set the cake down.

I should smash your face into it, Carly threatened, but I want some cake.

Well this one is real, Paula assured everyone.

The rain had stopped coming down in buckets and was much lighter now, so some of the kids braved sitting outside to eat cake. The furniture on the deck was soaked, but then again, who wasn't?

Is it always this chaotic around here? Karen asked.

Usually, but I grew up this way so I'm used to it, I replied. Jim's just a big kid at heart, so it wasn't hard for either him or the girls to adapt.

Where'd he go anyway? Karen wondered.

Jim had finished his cake and disappeared. We suddenly realized that Carly and Jami weren't outside anymore either. Paula was talking to Autumn on our porch swing in the light rain. The swing faced away from the house. Then I saw Carly and Jami come quietly out of the house, raising their fingers to their mouths to shush anyone who noticed them. Each one held a cream pie, obviously from Jim and my private stash. It was revenge time.

Now Jim and I try to keep our private lives private. We always clean up the playroom after one of our little escapades and our stash is kept in a locked cooler. We buy a few bakery pies and make the rest ourselves, but always when kids are not around. When I asked him later about breaking into our stock, he said that he fibbed to Carly a little and told her we made them for the party to get messy with.

Carly and Jami crept stealthily across the deck toward the porch swing. It was Bailey who almost gave them away. Carly and Jami raised their pies into position and at just the last second, Bailey giggled. It was Autumn who turned around and saw them and she screamed. If she hadn't, Paula might have turned too and been in time to react. However instead she was stunned by the scream for a second which was long enough for Carly and Jami to sandwich her head with a chocolate cream and a pink-tinted Kool Whip pie. Poor Autumn caught the over splatter just like Jami had.

Paula screamed with her tongue hanging out and then started laughing.

PAYBACK! Carly and Jami shouted and high-fived each other.

Jim was still nowhere to be found. I learned that was because he was still bringing up ammunition and stashing it on the screened porch. We were so distracted by watching the attack on Paula and her reaction that I didn't even see him come out.

Hey, Darc! he yelled to get me to look his way and right into a banana cream he'd hurled at me. It exploded out in all directions. Kids laughed and Karen shrieked before letting out a guttural laugh. I guess she was in the spirit of the party. That was a good thing too, because I supposed Jim wanted her to feel right at home. It was an automatic reaction: When she'd registered that I'd been pied, she looked in the direction where it had come from, and right into a blue-tinted Kool Whip pie. It stunned her for a second. I don't think she believed he'd do that. Then I saw the giggles begin and she dug her eyes clear.

Oh! It is on now, Jim Sutton! she shouted and ordered, C'mon! grabbing my arm.

Now I didn't care one bit that he hit her with a pie. There are our private sessions that are meant to lead to messy sex, but this was a kid's party. Jim was just trying to start a pie fight for fun. Well, technically Paula started it. I was just glad Karen took it the way she did. She needed to cut loose and have some fun.

It struck me as odd that Karen didn't even question why we had so many pies. I guess she figured that they were just part of our messy party. The kids didn't question it either. It seemed that almost instantly the girls had pies in their faces thanks to the boys. It was a free-for-all. Karen was laughing as we pushed our way past kids to get to where Jim had drug the pies to. She passed me a green-tinted Kool Whip pie and took a pink one for herself.

Now where'd he go? she pondered.

RIGHT HERE! I heard him say too late to react. He was crouched behind the picnic table and popped up to show off his rapid fire talent. The guys had all perfected it for our trash the dress videos. I saw a blackberry cream explode in Karen's face and a second later, an identical one that had been passed from his weak hand to his throwing hand blasted me in mine. Karen and I looked at each other. My guy's muscle shirt was nothing to write home about in the first place but now blackberry sauce dripped down the wet fabric leaving red streaks in the gray material. Karen's crop top looked much worse. Being a lighter color, the purple blackberry sauce left lovely stains across her tits. We both started laughing. Why would a husband step out on such a good sport of a wife?

Jim was laughing at us. He shouldn't have given us his undivided attention. He was still stooping down. First Carly, then Jami, then Paula, then Autumn, then Bailey and then finally Bailey's friend Jesse plastered him. I actually think he let them do it since he just sat there and took it. Karen and I looked at his destroyed appearance and then looked at our pies.

They won't do much more damage to him, Karen said, but we're not nearly as messy. Was she thinking what I thought she was thinking?

I raised mine at her and she confirmed what she was thinking by raising hers at me. Then we decked each other and busted out laughing.

Are y'all's parties always like this? Karen asked.

Just the really fun ones, I replied.

Invite me over more often then, she said. I wondered if she'd really like hanging out with us or if today was just her letting her hair down for a change.

We wiped our faces off as best we could and then used our clothes as towels to wipe our hands. Let's let the kids have the rest of them, I suggested.

Where in the heck did Jim get so many? Karen asked. So she was finally curious about it.

I lied. I guess he figured the kids would enjoy throwing them at each other, I replied. I would have to forgive him for blowing our whole stock. The pie fight was the hit of the party.

Karen seemed to accept that answer. She snickered and then something caught her attention and her mouth dropped. Oh, no! she said in a tone that suggested that she probably ought to be concerned, but what she saw was too damned funny sort of how I reacted when I saw the girls wrestling in the swimming pool at Southfork that time. I followed her gaze over to where nearly all of the boys who were at the party had Carly and Jami cornered against the far deck railing and were just plastering them over and over with the messiest pies they could get their hands onand the girls were just standing there and letting them. Oh, they were protesting, but they weren't putting up their hands or trying to get away. I even caught a giggle in between the screams of STOP IT! I have to admit to getting just a little vicariously excited at how both of them were just letting the boys turn them into multi-colored blobs. Carly is not my blood daughter, but that's exactly how I would act. Can you inherit submissiveness through osmosis?

Can I get on my soapbox again for a second? I want to say that a lot of people might read this and call that harassment, probably not any of you, though. I called it cute. Teasing is the first thing boys do when they start to notice girls. It's natural and it's harmless. Mom taught me that if boys teased me it was because they liked me, but just weren't sure how to express it yet. Around eleven, they're just coming out of that stage where girls are yucky. They are beginning to notice them differently but no one wants to be the first to like a girl so they tease. Don't get too upset with them, she told me. One evening we were at the drive-in, (Yeah, we still have a drive-in that's open. I love this town!). I was at the playground waiting for the movie to start and Billy Klein poured the ice left over from his Coke down the back of my tank top. Once I stopped screaming and got it out, I chased him downand kissed him! Two years later, we were the first real couple in our middle school class. Jim has a similar story that is even cuter of how he used to chase a particular little girl on the playground and kiss her in first grade. Both of their mothers thought that was the funniest thing they'd ever heard of. Incidentally, she and Jim are still friends years later. She didn't end up messed up, neither did Jim, neither did I and neither did Billy Klein. (At least I don't think he did. His parents moved away and ended my first romance at the age of fourteen!) Ok, off the soapbox again and back to the birthday party with Carly and Jami getting pied like crazy by the boys.

Should we stop that? Karen asked me.

I don't think the girls look like they really mind, I replied. At that age their happy to get whatever attention from the boys they can get. As long as it doesn't go past that, let 'em have their fun.

The boys soon ran out of ammunition anyway. Carly and Jami caught a couple and smeared them with messy hugs. After letting them go, they squealed and giggled their way through smearing even more flavors into their hair and clothes. They looked like shorter versions of some of the models on places like Slapstick Stuff or Angelfan's web site.

Jim came over and gave me a messy hug. For once he was worse off than I was. Where did you learn to throw pies like that? Karen asked. Was your granddad one of The Three Stooges? That doesn't just come naturally!

I saw Jim struggle for an answer and then finally say, It's Darcie's fault. I had to learn for her business. Didn't she tell you she makes extreme 'trash the dress' videos?

I saw that booth at the Fourth of July carnival, but I didn't know it was you! Karen exclaimed. That woman's poor dress! She paused and then added, But it did sort of look like fun.

I made a note to show her our wedding pictures when I got the chance, especially the group shot with everyone standing in the rain soaking wet and all of our makeup smeared and running down our faces. Then I'd let her see the underwater, the pies and the mud.

Jim whistled and got everyone's attention. If we're going to do presents now, everyone into the pond to rinse off!

Giggling and laughing the throng rushed off the deck and down to the dock to jump in and leave a creamy blob floating on the surface.

That means you too, ladies, Jim said grinning at us. Before I knew it I was over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and we were headed for the dock. We stopped at the edge and Jim swung me down to hold me over the threshold style, but that was short lived. He unceremoniously dumped me into the water. I could have held onto him and prevented it, but why would I do something like that?

Karen had tailed right behind us. What about me? she asked him.

Did I hear that right? Was she baiting Jim to throw her in the pond?

Yeah, what about you? Jim shot back. He swept her up like he had me and dumped her off the dock and then jumped in behind her. Now I was ok with that since she was a guest, but as soon as he surfaced he swam over and dunked me anyway, just so I'd know that I was still his best girl. I still needed to razz him a little though.

So, we're throwing other women in the water now, I teased.

Karen got into the spirit. Oh no, Jim! We've been found out! she mocked. I started to realize that I'd found someone who could be another good friend. Her comedic timing was almost as good as Beth and Debbie's.

We didn't swim long, just long enough to get the majority of pie remnants rinsed off of everyone. We were a rag tag bunch crawling out of the water for sure now with all of the pie stains, Carly and Jami especially. There wasn't an inch of their clothes that wasn't stained with chocolate, fruit sauce or food coloring.

Jami's having a ball, Karen commented with rain falling hard on us again. It had started to pour again when we were swimming.

We're glad both of you came, I replied.

I'm glad I did too, Karen said. I haven't just let go and had fun like this in I don't know how long.

Everyone toweled off and Carly opened her presents on the covered patio. It was the usual stuff for an early tween and I won't bore you with the details especially since I promised to get to a story about Kellie and I'm already on page nine.

The kids were more interested in running back outside into the rain anyway. Funny how if you let kids be kids and not hover over them all the time, they'll usually pick the simplest ways to amuse themselves.

MUD SLIDE! Carly screamed, running across the backyard. The hard all day rain coupled with the fact that the kids had been playing on the mud slide all day the day before had left the mud nice and soft and well churned up. Carly hit it and I could see gobs of brown stuff splash up into the air. Jami dove in head first right behind her and crashed into Carly amidst screams and giggles. We three adults watched in the rain from the deck. Both girls stood and cleared the way for the next sliders and came running toward us to get in the back of the line that had formed. Their entire fronts were brown beginning with their faces and going all the way down their legs.

Well, there goes any chance I had of getting that outfit cleaned up, Karen said with a snicker.

I learned from my mom, I replied. Just wash 'em and let 'em wear it for the same thing again.

They do that all the time? Karen asked looking shocked. I was sure Jami had been here one time when the kids went out to the bog with the Gator and then I remembered: She borrowed one of Carly's play outfits and took a shower before she went home.

Why do you think we have a mud slide worn in the backyard? I asked.

Yeah, Jim chimed in. I was going to try to reseed it, but I decided if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And speaking of that, who's with me? Jim started down the deck steps and extended a hand out to both of us.

I don't think so, Karen replied. One of us covered in mud is enough.

Really? I prodded, taking a couple of steps toward the deck steps myself. It's a lot of fun!

Go ahead. I'll just watch, Karen said.

I smiled at her and took Jim's hand and we ran together through the pouring rain to get in line. All of the kids had gone through at least once so we were the only relatively clean ones at this point. The mud was so churned up by this point that it was splashing over everyone. Carly and Jami, who had just completed their third slide, we totally covered, top to bottom and front to back. Not a single inch of either of them wasn't covered in mud including their plastered down sodden hair. They saw us in line and smiled, their teeth creating a hilarious contrast to their brown everything else.

It only took Jim and me two rides to match their appearance. Everyone was so muddy that it was getting hard to tell who was who. By the time we'd been down five times, our What the hell! gene had kicked in and we were face-planting and dragging our faces through the mud for the whole slide, burying our whole heads in the soft stuff and plastering each other in the face with blobs it. Mud was in my ears, in my hair, in my eyes, in my mouth, up my nose and down my underwear. And I was having a ball.

Two little mud monsters by the names of Carly and Jami met us after we'd crawled out with mud dripping from us.

We have to get my mom down here! Jami said. I want to see her covered in mud!

Karen was a cute picture leaning on the deck rail in the pouring rain. She was laughing out loud every time someone would go careening through the slide, wearing a little more of our yard each time. I motioned for her to come down and join us. She giggled and shook her head mouthing, No.

Aw, c'mon, Mom! Jami yelled.

If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life! I urged.

She sort of looked at me sideways like she was considering it. Ahhhh, she wound up as if to consider her answer, I don't know about that.

Our conversation back and forth across the yard got the attention of the rest of the kids and soon there were fifteen muddy people all calling to the lone one that wasn't to come and join them.

C'mon! C'mon! the kids urged.

Time to get muddy, Karen! Jim coaxed.

Get down here! I commanded.

Karen laughed and bowed her shaking head as if to say, I can't believe I'm doing this, and pushed herself off the deck railing. Everyone cheered when she came down the steps and walked toward us.

I'm going to regret this, she said.

Aw, I teased, Just do it one or two times and you'll be hooked. Once you're good and muddy you won't care anymore. Besides, you jumped right into the pie fight.

I didn't volunteer for the pie fight, she said and then furled her eyebrows at Jim and added, Somebody started throwing them at me!

Jim rolled his eyes and looked away with a Who, me? expression, which was twice as silly with him totally covered in mud.

We watched the kids in front of us go slip-sliding through. Karen groaned as our turn got closer.

Look at me, I said to her with my arms outstretched. There wasn't a hint of my clothes color, my hair color or my skin tone anywhere. Karen couldn't tell, but the inside of all of my clothes was just as muddy as the outside. I've been down a dozen times and I'm alive. It's a lot of fun.

She kind of gave me a grimacing grin and groaned again. Look, I'll go first, I said. You follow me and Jim will go after you. My plan was to keep her between us so she couldn't run away.

Fine, but I know I'm gonna regret it, she said.

No you won't, I rebutted and turned around to take my turn. I took off as fast as bare feet could go in wet grass. With the rain pounding me, I got to the end of the slide and dropped to my belly. As muddy as I already was, I simply flew. I had to clench my eyes shut because it was splattering up into my face. When I knew I was near the end, I buried my face into the slide and let the top of my head bulldoze me to a stop. The kids loved it. They hooted and screamed.

The last clean one is next, I said, spitting mud out with each word. I have to get used to mud in my mouth each time I do something like this, but once I do I couldn't care less how much gets in there.

Karen started to take off and then balked. She did it a second time. Jim threatened to hug her and she took off. I suppose she finally accepted she was going to get muddy so she may as well do it on her own terms. Karen dropped and hit the slide hard. She yelped but unfortunately a large blob of mud flew up and plastered her in the face at the same time. That's right; she got it in her mouth the very first slide.

She skidded to a stop near where I was standing and stood up. Her front was solid mud from top to bottom and it even extended to the top of her head thanks to that big blob. She spit multiple times.

Yuck! she sort of laughed out. Why does something so damned gross have to be so much fun? I was encouraged. That was a stoogette line if I ever heard one.

Going again then? I asked as Jim came careening to a muddy stop.

Of course I'm going again! she stated. Throwing out her arms to highlight her thoroughly muddied front she added, What have I got to lose? I just have to remember to keep my mouth shut!

Well, c'mon then! Jim commanded, urging both of us back to the end of the line.

Me first this time! Jim said when all of the kids in front of us had gone. He took off and dove head first into the slide but rolled over on his back to slide the rest of the way and let his head drop into the mud to brake at the end.

That looked like fun, I commented.

Yeah, and I'm the only one left whose back isn't covered, Karen said sarcastically. Fine!

She took off in front of me and slid the same way Jim did. She came out just as covered as the rest of us. I did the same thing. Of course it was far from the first time for me. Karen was standing there pretending to cry, holding out the bottom of her ruined muddy crop top.

Happy now? she screamed, laughter cracking through her voice.

Not yet, I replied. You're not totally initiated until it coats the inside of your underwear.

I yanked her arm and pulled her toward the line of kids.

Inside my underwear? she moaned.

Underwear, I stated firmly.

Mom! Slide with me! Jami said. She pulled her mom into the line with her and Carly, and I watched Karen take off when their turn came up without any hesitation. She blew a gob out of her nose and laughed with the girls all the way back to get in line again. It only took three times to make Karen stop trying to act like she wasn't having fun.

We watched her go again and apparently she'd been watching us because I saw a woman who had completely given herself over to fun in the mud. She imitated Jim and me and planted her face hard in the soft mud and let the top of her head act as a brake. I saw her blink her eyes open and pound mud out of her ears. Then she scooped up a big handful when Jami was sliding down behind her. Jami stood up and Karen yelled, Surprise! and shoved it in Jami's face. She started to run from the laughing Jami who scooped up her own handful and threw it, plastering her mom in the back of her head.

We all got in line together for a few more times. With the rain and more than a dozen people mud sliding, the grassless section was getting wider and wider. On one hand we were destroying our backyard, but on the other, it was wide now enough for two people to go together. Paula and Autumn were the first two to give it a try and ended up all tangled and laughing in a muddy pile.

A few more kids tried it and ended up the same way. Then Bailey and Jesse went same result. Eventually it got to us. Carly and Jami held hands to run across the yard and dive in, letting go just as they threw their arms out in front of them. They collided with each other about halfway down and ended up rolling several feet. Both of them were spitting out mud and trying hard not to swallow any from laughing.

Guess who was next! Karen looked at me and said, I suppose we're going together?

If you don't want the kids calling us wimps we are! I replied.

Ok, then, Karen said and got ready to run.

I can't describe the feeling I get when I'm doing something totally ridiculous like this, especially in the mud. I just want more and more. And Karen had caught the same bug.

We took off together and hit the slide at the same time. Oh, and we made it all the way and stood up to the cheers of the kids. What? Of course that didn't happen! We ran into each other just like everyone else had and started rolling over each other. Karen screamed just as her face rolled over and planted in the soft soupy mud and gave her a mouthful. Her clown mode came out for all to see. She sat up in the mud and spit out what was in her mouth and then sat their crying like Lucille Ball. (Watch I Love Lucy on Nick at Night if you don't know what I mean.) Everyone got a kick out of her reaction.

It's in my underwear now, she said as we made way for Jim to come sliding down with both Bailey and Jesse who he'd let back in line with him. (They had a muddy crash too.) Can we take a break?

Sure! I said and plopped right down in a puddle in the wet grass. Karen plopped down and splashed me.

We laughed and watched the kids and Jim continue to slide through the mud like maniacs. Having grass was overrated anyway! We'd just have to mow it and the mud was much more fun. I saw Karen watching Jim let our three girls and Jami get the best of him in a mud battle. She got silent and just smiled.

What're you thinking? I asked.

Don't take this the wrong way, she began, but if you two weren't already married, you might have a struggle on your hands for Jim.

I'm not taken aback very often. Usually I'm the one shocking somebody else, but she took me by surprise. What? I asked, rather exaggeratedly.

Oh, you don't have anything to worry about, she assured me. I just want to make sure you know how lucky you are to have someone so wrapped up in you and your kids.

I think about it every day, I told her. Guys like him are still around though. Don't get discouraged.

Before the conversation could get any deeper, Jami the mud monster ran up to us. Mom! Carly's dad is taking pictures! I want us in some of them!

Oh, my god! Looking like this? Karen cried. Even though we had been steadily rained on sitting there, the mud was nice and thick and we looked like two chocolate bunnies with the ears bitten off. Now y'all know that I not only would pose for pictures like this, I'd make one of them my Facebook photo. But I, as many people are fond of saying, am nuts.

Oh, come on, I urged. You'll want something to look back on today and laugh at.

She gave me the look, the one that says, I can't believe you've talked me into something else crazy, and got up off the ground. Fine! she snapped and headed off toward where Jim was taking pictures with our (thankfully) waterproof camera. I could hear her giggling though.

Well she not only posed for one for Jami. She ended up in plenty of them. There was one of her and Jami, one of the whole party together, one of us hugging and one of the two of us trying to tandem mud slide again and wiping out like before.

After that a huge mudslinging fight erupted that ended up around the other side of our house where we could both see and be seen from the road. Karen was completely given over by that point and showed no sign of caring that people could see us. Besides, even if someone she knew drove by, how would they ever tell it was her?

In case you were wondering, there has been no attempt by the town to fix that low spot at the curb in front of Mom and Dad's house. I had yet another dvu moment thanks to it. It had been raining so much that the water had actually run over the curb. Carly, Jami and a few other kids were jumping in the puddle, when up the road came a jeep. Now this wasn't just any jeep. This was a jeep with its top off in the pouring rain with two guys inside wearing only cutoff shorts, shoes and ball caps. Jami screamed as she saw them drive straight into the puddle and kick up wave that was at least six feet tall. It came halfway up into the yard and pasted all of them. The guys riding in the jeep were drenched much the same way. Something about two rednecks giving and getting a muddy bath with a sport utility vehicle seemed very familiar for some reason. (Wink!)

YEAH! Carly screamed. Everybody get over here!

The kids all clamored around the curb and started baiting cars to splash them. At least it would rinse the mud off.

I'd rather rinse off in the pond, Karen said.

Now you know my feelings about letting cars splash me. If I hadn't been tired from all of the mud sliding, I would have twisted her arm to keep her out there. However the three adults headed around the house back to the pond where we jumped in and swam out to the raft and sat dangling our feet in the water. Most of the mud was rinsed off the outside of us anyway. I still had plenty inside my clothes that only a shower would get rid of plus I could feel it in my ears and still weighing my hair down. I wasn't too concerned. There was no guarantee that I wouldn't end up pasted head to toe again before the day was out.

I can't believe you guys just cut loose like this all the time. It must be wonderful, Karen said idly.

Well you're welcome to come over anytime you want, I replied, even if we're not here. Just make yourself at home, and don't pay any attention to the signs.

A couple of years ago, we finally posted No Trespassing signs around the pond thanks to people we didn't know from some of the subdivisions springing up helping themselves to the pond on the rare occasions when no one was around. Of course we made sure we told friends and family to just ignore them.

You know? We may just do that, she said. I haven't had this much fun in ages.

Carly and Jami came running to the dock.

Mom! The cars just won't splash us! Carly complained. That was unusual, at least for me. I can't seem to go out there and not get pasted, not that I mind.

Maybe they don't think you're serious, Jim yelled to her.

I've got an idea! Karen declared. You guys got any Sharpies or magic markers?

Sharpies, I replied.

Great! Go get 'em! Karen said. She stood up and dove off the raft to swim for the dock. All I could think was Wow!

Luckily the Sharpie pens were in the kitchen which was one of the few areas of the house not off limits when everyone was running around trashed. I gathered several colors and went back outside. Karen had three pieces of poster board that said GARAGE SALE and her address and the date last weekend. The lettering was faded, probably due to the constant rain.

I took these down after the sale, she explained. I just never took them out of my trunk. They lasted through last weekend's rain. Maybe they'll last long enough for this.

She laid them out on the table under the gazebo tent and began to make big cartoony letters with colored ink. The first sign said, SPLASH US! WE'RE NOT KIDDING!!! The second one said, NEXT HOUSE ON RIGHT! The third one said, COME ON! SOCK IT TO US!!!!!

I had to laugh. Karen was channeling me and she didn't know it. Jim's right. I must be contagious!

Now we just need to hang these on something, Karen said.

There is a tree and a fence line next door to Mom and Dad, I offered. Come on.

I took her around to the garage. I grabbed some twine and fired up the Gator. We drove out past the kids trying to get splashed, but the Gator didn't move fast enough to make much of one. I stopped by the tree and we hung the Sock it to us sign there. Next we hung the Next house sign on the fence and went up a little further to also put the Splash us sign on the fence. I turned around and drove back to my parents yard. Jim was standing there with the party-goers.

I parked the Gator on the edge of where the water was standing in the yard. I was going to say, Now we wait, but I never got the chance. A box truck from Lowe's came up the road and veered into the water. We all got annihilated in the next instant. He pasted us but good! There is nothing to compare with getting blasted with water, mud and road grit.

Karen was sitting in the Gator with me and I thought I'd heard her laugh hard that day, but it was nothing compared to her reaction to the truck splashing us. I guess my signs worked! she said. Then a pickup truck went by and let us have it all over again.

Karen and I jumped out of the Gator when we heard another car coming and we stood with Jim behind the gang of kids waiting. A Suburban that looked a lot like Jim's, same color and everything, let us have it. We barely had time to recover before a kid in an old Toyota pickup plastered us again and drove away laying on his horn. Four more cars went by in about a thirty second time span and every one of them spread the puddle wide open and soaked us.

And that is how it went for the rest of Carly's birthday party. We turned a total washout of a day into what most of the kids called the best party they'd ever been to. We completely lost track of time standing out there baiting cars like idiots. The sun poked its way out while we were out there and the heat and humidity came with it, but that made getting splashed even better. Soon parents started to arrive to pick up their kids. Those coming from that direction saw the signs and; you guessed it; pasted us with muddy water and road grit. Some of them coming from the other direction even passed us and turned around so they could let us have it.

Jim turned on the outdoor shower for the kids as parents started to arrive. Hey, we would at least try to clean them up after totally wrecking them. One of Carly's friends asked if she could have her birthday party here in September. I said, sure. It's usually still warm around here then.

One by one the kids got picked up until it was just Karen, Jami, Paula, Carly, Bailey, Jim and I left.

Why don't you go rinse off? Karen said to Jami. Jami and Carly took off, but headed down the dock to jump back in the pond. Paula and Bailey were right behind them.

Hey! I meant in the shower! Karen yelled and then flopped her arms against her in the universal I give up! gesture.

Karen walked down to the end of the dock. The kids were already out to the raft and playing on the slide. Jami, rinse off in the shower. It's time to go, Karen called.

Can I sleep over, Mom? Jami called back. Carly and Paula want me to go out to the mud bog and the waterfall with them!

Karen rolled her eyes and snickered, but tried again: Jami, let's go.

If you want me, Mom, you gotta come and get me! Jami yelled from the top of the slide. She pushed herself off and slid down sticking her tongue out.

I thought that maybe we'd unleashed a stoogette that day, but Karen finally assured me of it. She turned around and faced Jim and me coming down to the pond. She threw her arms over her head and yelled, I give up! and let herself fall backward off the dock and splash into the water.

Of course it would have been funnier if she'd been completely dry and clean like this woman I saw at a state park beach once. Can I side bar for a second? Jim, the girls and I were all out on the raft in the lake at this beach when two girls, sisters we'd learn, came swimming out and climbed up. Both were in street clothes and must have walked away from a family gathering or something because their mom came looking for them. She found their shoes on the beach and saw them out there. She started yelling at them to get out of the water. They defied her the same way, but she told them they would get it if she had to come out there. They stayed and she waded into the lake in a halter and a pair of ripped out jeans. Now I have to add here that this was a typical hot summer day in Texas. You could even tell from a distance that she was hot and miserable standing there yelling at her girls. You could see strands of hair pasted to her forehead with sweat. Her whole demeanor apparently changed during her swim because when she climbed onto the raft, she stopped and said, That felt kinda good. Oh, what the hell! and jumped back in. They all stayed the rest of the afternoon. End of sidebar. Back to our house.

I guess that means she can sleep over, I teased a very wrecked Karen as she climbed back onto the dock. Even though most of the mud was rinsed from her hair, one's hair is never right after being caked with mud that way until it's had a nice, long shampoo. Her yellow crop top was totally ruined. The dark bra it still failed to hide might be usable, but her shirt was a brown rag now.

If I try to take her home, I'll never hear the end of it, Karen replied. Her wet running shorts, now gray with a brown tint, combined with the thin panties to produce the same effect they had the first time she crawled out of the pond. Was it my imagination, or was the camel toe even more pronounced a sign that she had really enjoyed herself today?

She turned to look at Jami out on the raft who was still laughing at her for throwing herself in. I caught Jim staring at the way her cotton running shorts showed off both her panty lines and the contours of her very round ass. I couldn't blame him. Karen was smokin' hot, and she was obviously low maintenance and very fun to be around. I still couldn't understand what kind of guy could cheat on and leave a woman like that. (I'd find out more later as our friendship grew that Donald was pretty much a dick.)

Have fun, girl! Karen called to Jami. I'll bring you something dry to put on.

Don't bother, I told her when we started walking back up the dock. I guarantee they will be outside either in the water or the mud until time to go to bed.

Where's this mud bog they're going to?

I replied, It's on our neighbor's property. Paula is responsible enough to take them out there but if you'll feel better, Jim and I will go too. We don't mind another mud bath.

Ah, don't worry. I'm trying not to smother Jami, Karen said. I did enough of that when Donald left.

I should at least bring her a nightgown or pajamas or something, she then said to quickly change the subject from her ex-husband.

She can wear one of Carly's and I know we've got some new tooth brushes around here, I countered.

What about clothes for tomorrow? she asked.

I will wash and dry what she's got on tonight, I offered. They'll be good enough to go home in.

Besides, Jim said, turning on the outdoor shower, my money says that the whole lot of 'em will be right back out here tomorrow anyway.

Which means I shouldn't wear anything nice to come and pick her up either, Karen said with her hands on her hips feigning annoyance.

That's up to you, I said, but we think you look pretty good in mud.

Karen stepped right in the shower. Even with all of the splashing and her recent quick swim, brown water ran down her legs as the shower found more mud to rinse.

What kind of shampoo you got? she asked, freeing her ponytail.

I rummaged around in the toiletry box and found her a Clairol Herbal Essence bottle.

Hey, you guys remember the orgasmic commercials they used to have for this stuff? she asked. She put way too much in her hair and started lathering up her clothes with it too, all the while moaning and gyrating under the water.

Well I wasn't about to be outdone in my own yard. I grabbed the bottle and doused myself with it and got up there with her and we both rubbed it all over ourselves and moaned. (Yeah, I know you'd like to hear about us rubbing it all over each other. You boys better hold your horses.)

Jim got a kick out of our performance. Hey, stoogettes are supposed to entertain the guys.

I'm going to make sure that the Gator has plenty of gas if they're going back to the bog, Jim said. Bye, bye, Karen.

We watched my bedraggled husband walk away from us who still rocked his wet muscle shirt, even if it was dingy as hell now. Who says girls look hot wet but guys don't? I love seeing my man all wet.

Please tell me there's more like him at home, Karen said.

There's more like him. Don't worry, I urged.

We started heading toward her car. I am going to soak in a nice long bath when I get home, Karen said. I'm tired and I've still got mud where it most definitely isn't supposed to be.

I snickered being very familiar with that situation. Or you can skip the bath if you're going to stick around any tomorrow. You could end up just the same way.

Darcie, I don't have the house all to myself much so when I take this bath I'm going to be 'multitasking', she said and gave me a wink.

O-o-o-o-o-oh! I said, understanding immediately. Well, Jim travels a lot so I am very familiar with multitasking. We both cracked up. I wonder if I should tell her about Mr. Chubby Extra or if she already has one.

I loaned her one of the old towels from the garage to dry off with and a couple more for her car seat.

We hugged by her car. Girls from the South hug a lot. I'm so glad I stayed, she said as we embraced for what seemed a little too long for casual southern girl friends. I had so much fun. I'd like to become friends.

Something about the way she said that left me both uneasy and excited at the same time. Was this the beginnings of a girl crush?

We're already friends, I replied when I could finally gather my thoughts. Karen was just smiling. We should do something, the two of us. What better way to figure out what she meant than to just go for it?

She seemed shaken for a second this time. Oh, yeah. Maybe lunch or something this week. I'd like that! she finally managed.

We hugged again and Karen finally got in her car and headed out, leaving me wondering what just happened. What do you guys think?

Oh, CRAP! It's been eighteen pages and I haven't even gotten to what this was supposed to be about, Kellie's Big Day! Shit, I don't even think I mentioned her. Boy, do I feel scatterbrained! I guess there is going to be a Countdown to Clutch Part 6!

Wait a minute! What are you guys gonna do with all of those pies? Oh, well. I suppose I deserve it, but why don't I make it worth your while?

(Darcie stands up from the chair that she has been sitting in very lady-like wearing a very short halter mini-dress.)

https://78.media.tumblr.com/5fdc9919708f5e8b3a1c493e439cc7ee/tumblr_p8hm7edEvP1wkiw9ho3_1280.jpg
https://78.media.tumblr.com/b3a4b7da49c27de071eacf1dd06af78b/tumblr_p8hm7edEvP1wkiw9ho4_1280.jpg

(She reaches down to the hem and yanks the dress over her head and tosses it away leaving her in nothing but a pair of bright red bikini panties.)

Well what are you all surprised at? I told you I don't mind being naked in front of my close friends. You guys all qualify. Now are you going to sit there all slack jawed or are you going to let me have it?

SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!

https://78.media.tumblr.com/ad7591aeb9b3793fc83423cbe77ca6df/tumblr_p8hm7edEvP1wkiw9ho1_1280.jpg
(Picture Credit to Messygirl.com)

See? I'll even take my medicine from you! See you for Part 6!

SPLAT!

Naughty boy!
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