Its a warm, sunny day in May on the campus of Northwestern University. A large crowd is eagerly gathering on a lush, green lawn. Rock music throbs from a sound system. A gentle breeze blows off Lake Michigan. TV cameras pan across a sea of students, many wearing swimsuits. A colorful banner reads: College Challenge-2013. Suddenly, the music cuts out. A guy steps in front of the crowd, pulling a microphone to his mouth. Wearing cool sun glasses, board shorts and a tight fitting T shirt, he looks as if he could host any MTV reality show. He oozes a cocky irreverence:

Northwestern...Are you ready to get MESSY?!

YEAH! cheers the crowd with earsplitting enthusiasm.

Awesome! Im Josh and I want to welcome you to College Challenge, the event that puts students from Americas finest colleges and universities in totally wild and crazy situations. Today weve come to beautiful Northwestern University in search of volunteers for our famous Wheel of Torture Challenge. Heres how it works: Were going to select a volunteer to come up here and spin this wheel three times. The wheel will stop on a given task. Perform each task and you win concert tickets to the band Radiohead! Do we have any Radiohead fans out there?!

Hands shoot up across the cheering crowd as Radiohead pumps from the sound system. Josh studies the crowd, teasingly taking his time and letting the anticipation build...He makes a selection. Cameras pan in on a stunningly beautiful girl, catching her expression of surprise. Her olive complexion suggests a Mediterranean heritage, perhaps Greek or Italian. Shining, deep chestnut brown hair cascades down her back. Her dark vivacious eyes sparkle. A sweet smile illuminates her princess-like face. Its a face so beautiful that its hard to look away. She exudes the quiet confidence of a girl who knows shes hot and is used to the constant attention of guys. Rowdy cheers and cat calls erupt from the crowd as she slowly, almost hesitantly pulls off running shorts and a T-shirt to reveal her sumptuous bikini clad body. Slowly, she steps forward to the center of a large tarp and faces a TV camera. She seems to know exactly whats in store for her...

Its time for our first volunteer to introduce herself, College Challenge-style! gloats Josh.

A rock beat begins to thud. Her immaculate body is on full display to the world. TV cameras pan in on her perfect ass, her smooth legs, her full breasts. Grinning gleefully, a guy from the crowd steps forward, holding a massive, thick, gooey whipped cream and chocolate pudding pie. The girl glances at the pie and begins to giggle. She takes a deep, nervous breath and brushes a hand through her hair. Her arms drop stiffly to her sides. The guy slowly raises the pie in aim at her face. She looks into the camera and speaks, fighting giggles:

Hi. Im Isabella. Im 19 years old and Im from Takoma Park, Maryland. Im a freshman Biology major at Northwestern University with a minor in Environmental Policy and Culture. Some cool things I like to do when Im not studying are running, volleyball, music theater and playing the violin.

SMACK! The pie smashes into Isabellas face to the delight of the crowd. Whipped cream and pudding splatter in every direction, ooze over the sides of the plate and drop into Isabellas cleavage. The plate drops. Her perfect face has been replaced with a thick mask of whipped cream and pudding. Her mouth hangs open in shock. Isabella is thrown a towel. She barely catches it. She begins pulling off as much pie as possible, but its a losing battle.

That was SICK! laughs Josh. Now its time for Isabellas first spin on the wheel. Isabella, how are you feeling?

Nervous. she giggles.

As the crowd cheers her on, she takes the first spin. The wheel slows, then stops. The words Rubiks Cube Challenge are visible.

Isabella, were going to ask you to take a seat on this stool. says Josh. You will have 30 seconds to solve a Rubiks Cube puzzle. If you succeed, you stay clean and you get to proceed on to the next spin. However, if you fail...say goodbye to your beautiful hair because you will get five gallons of Spaghetti-Os, five gallons of baked beans and five gallons of chocolate syrup dumped over your head.

Oh my God... gasps Isabella, giggling and fidgeting with her hands.

Josh pulls the microphone back to his mouth. Now, Im feeling kind of bad about this. Isabella seems like a really sweet girl and she has such beautiful hair...We could let her off the hook?

The crowd instantly erupts in loud boos and jeers.

No? Sorry, Isabella. The crowd has spoken.

A rock beat begins to thud. Three giddy students from the crowd appear with buckets. Isabella slowly takes a seat on a white plastic stool. She looks as if she wants to crawl into a shell. Her smooth legs are immaculate, her glorious hair amazingly survived the pie almost unscathed...She clenches her hands in her lap nervously. Her friends in the crowd watch in amused disbelief. Isabella is handed a Rubiks Cube.

Josh pulls the microphone to his mouth: On your mark...Get set....Go!

Already defeated, Isabella fumbles with the Rubiks Cube. Fifteen seconds go by and she has made no progress. The crowd begins to go wild as the first bucket is slowly lifted over her head in preparation.

Five!...Four!...Three!...Two...One!...PUNISH HER!

Isabella wriggles on the stool, shaking with laughter...her shoulders raising in tense anticipation. Oh my God...No...No.. she moans.

As if in slow motion, the heavy bucket begins to tip...and it happens...Spaghetti-Os begin to engulf Isabellas beautiful dark hair.

The delighted crowd erupts. Ooooh... comes the long, collective, grossed out groan.

Spaghetti-Os dump...and dump..and dump...over her face...hitting her shoulders...Isabella laughs as she feels the Spaghetti-Os slide into her cleavage, collect in her lap and run down her legs...A second bucket is lifted over Isabella. It tips...heavy, cold baked beans consume Isabella. Onlookers stare in shock with looks of amused, horrified fascination. How can this be happening to this goddess? She feels this new layer of slop slide down, down, down, coating her body, oozing between her legs. She laughs, as if enjoying this unique experience. Baked beans collect in between her breasts and splatter into her lap. Now a third bucket is lifted. The bucket tips...sticky black chocolate covers the other two layers. Isabellas body gyrates with an orgasmic ecstasy as the chocolate hits her breasts. She feels it run down her smooth legs. Isabella rubs the chocolate over her breasts, enjoying the sensation. She rubs her bare feet back and forth on the tarp, feeling it ooze around her toes. She stands up, her body dripping and oozing. What had been extraordinarily beautiful hair is now demolished under layers of heavy, thick slop.

How are you feeling, Isabella? Are you hanging in there? asks Josh.

It feels awesome. she laughs. Ive never done anything like this before...Its kind of liberating.

Isabella spins the wheel again. It stops and the words Yo Yo Challenge are visible.

Isabella, are you good at yo yos? asks Josh.

No. she giggles.

Thats too bad, because you must successfully Yo Yo for one minute. If you fail to do this...

The crowd begins to cheer with riot like intensity.

You will be pelted with eggs, rotten tomatoes and pies.

Giggling, Isabella takes the Yo Yo. She lets the Yo Yo drop, but is unsuccessful in allowing it to spring back.

PUNISH HER!!!

Splat!....Splat! Eggs and tomatoes begin pelting Isabella. The tomatoes are disgustingly soft and squishy. Giggling, she meekly stands and accepts humiliation and defeat. When all the tomatoes and eggs have been thrown students begin eagerly grabbing pies. SMACK! A pie violently smashes into Isabellas face and is smeared into her hair. Another pie smashes onto the top of her head. A guy smears a pie into Isabellas breasts, coating them in pudding and cream. A pie is pushed and rubbed into Isabellas ass. Pie after pie hits Isabellas face. The chance to smear pies into her hair and on her body is too fun to resist! When its all over she is completely unrecognizable. She is given a moment to clear off enough pie so she can see again.

Its time for your third spin, Isabella!

She spins the wheel. It stops on the words: math quiz.

So Isabella, you seem to suck at everything else, but I imagine you must be OK at math, right?

Yeah.

Thats good, because you are about to be given math problems to solve. You must solve each problem in 15 seconds. For each problem you fail to correctly solve you will have your bikini filled with mashed potatoes, jello and cupcakes as well as an additional messy punishment. Are you ready for your first problem?

Yeah.

OK...What is the square root of 64 times 2,000 minus 3?

Isabella giggles uncontrollably.

Times up! PUNISH HER!

The back of Isabellas bikini is pulled back. Squishy strawberry Jello is dumped in. A chocolate cupcake is added, then a hand massages Isabellas ass, smearing it in. She giggles and squirms.

Ew! Its going between my legs!

Ketchup and mustard are squired, hitting Isabella with surprising force. She endures both bottles.

Time for the next math problem. If you get this wrong you must take mashed potatoes in your bikini and you must remove your top and have your breasts smeared with an entire jar of peanut butter!...What is the square root of 248 divided by 2 times 63 minus 16?...Times up! PUNISH HER!

Isabellas bikini is pulled out and Mashed potatoes are dumped in. Her bikini bottom begins to sink under all the weight of the contents. It slides down her legs as the crowd cheers. Isabella pulls off her bikini top. A hand scoops out smooth peanut butter and begins to smear it into her breasts. More peanut butter is smeared in Isabellas hair. Rock music explodes from the sound system and chaos erupts. A huge bucket of BBQ sauce goes over Isabellas head and pies fly. Completely naked, she plays in the mess that has accumulated on the tarp. She slides around...she makes slop angels...She feels humiliated, violated, liberated and turned on at the same time...Its a great way to end the busy semester.