It happened on a warm Saturday in September on the campus of the University of Michigan. A crowd of giddy spectators thronged to sun-drenched Palmer Field, gathering in front of a giant blue tarp that had been spread out on the grass. Music throbbed from a sound system that had been set up on the lawn under a colorful tent.

'College Messy Olympics' had come to campus. Hosted by the young, attractive J.D. Ross, the internet reality show traveled the country putting swimsuit-clad college students in totally outrageous and messy situations. It was among the most mindlessly trashy shows online. Yet, no one could look away from the crazy carnage that was often inflicted on unsuspecting victims.

After introducing the show, J.D. Ross was ready to get the mayhem started:

"For our first challenge, we're looking for two brave volunteers who are roommates."

Hands shot up throughout the crowd. Heightening the anticipation, J.D took his time to make a selection. One option proved to be too delectable to pass up.

"We're going to ask these two lovely young women to come forward now."

Cheered on by the crowd, two incredibly beautiful girls stepped forward, hesitantly, as if they couldn't believe they had been chosen. They stood in front of the crowd, giggling with slight apprehension, their sumptuous bikini-clad bodies on full display.

One of the girls had glorious wavy chestnut brown hair which cascaded down her back, shining in the sunlight. Dark, vivacious eyes illuminated her unforgettable face. She had the quiet, confident demeanor of a girl who was well aware of her sexual magnetism. The other girl had blue eyes and short strawberry blond hair pulled into a neat ponytail. She radiated an endearing combination of sweetness and innocence.

"Tell us your names." J.D. commanded, starting with the dark haired girl and moving to the redhead.

"Jessica."

"Emma."

"Jessica and Emma, how long have you been roommates?"

"Since the beginning of freshman year." Jessica answered.

"Cool. Would you say that you are best friends?"

Looking at each other and laughing, they nodded in the affirmative.

"Today, your friendship may get tested slightly," joked J.D. "In a moment, you will be competing against each other in our totally outrageous word search game. Here's how it's going to work: You will both be given a card with a word or phrase which describes a type of food. You must run to the board, locate the word or phrase hidden in the giant word search, and place your card over the corresponding letters. The contestant who correctly gets their card on the board first will win a point. Sounds pretty simple, right? There is just one more minor detail that I should mention. To make things a little more interesting, the winning contestant will not only be awarded the point, but also will get the opportunity to slime the loser with whatever substance the word describes."

The crowd erupted in cheers. Jessica and Emma looked stunned and slightly apprehensive as they processed the messy implications of the game. If either girl now had reservations about accepting the challenge, J.D. gave them no time to back out:

"Before we get started with the game, we're going to ask each of you to step in front of the camera and introduce yourself to our internet audience. Tell us your name, your age, your hometown, what you are studying here at the University of Michigan, and a few things you like to do in your free time. I have to warn you that our contestants often get a little surprise at the end of their introductions."

On cue, a metal cart was wheeled out which contained two massive, perfectly sculpted cream pies. The crowd began to cheer with feverish intensity. Judging by their expressions, Emma and Jessica seemed to understand exactly where this was going.

An earthy dance beat began to pump in a long, continuous vamp. Barefoot, bikini-clad Jessica was the first to face the camera. She shot a quick glance at the pies, took a deep breath and brushed a hand through her hair. She tried to project a facade of nonchalance, but clearly she found the situation to be mildly torturous. Following J.D.'s instructions, Emma slowly picked up a pie. Beaming with pleasure, she looked down at the heaping mounds of thick, gooey whipped cream which covered a deep layer of cool vanilla pudding. The crowd cheered in anticipation as she approached Jessica, holding the pie. Jessica rolled her eyes. She was so far above this. Yet, she submitted to this indignity willingly. For one awkward moment, the two girls paused and giggled as if they could not believe what they were about to do. The dance beat continued to pump.

"Give us your name, your age, your hometown, your area of study, and a few extracurricular interests." J.D. repeated.

Slowly, the pie was raised in aim. For Jessica, each second of delay seemed to be excruciating. Her body language signaled defeat, as if she didn't want to dignify a situation she understood to be a total farce. Yet, she was still terrifyingly seductive. She was the kind of girl who was so attractive that her sheer presence would make many guys nervous. Working hard to hold back giggles, she looked straight into the camera:

"I'm Jessica. I'm 19 years old and I'm from Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm a sophomore at the University of Michigan majoring in Environmental Science. When I'm not studying, I like playing volleyball, photography, singing, and music theater."

SPLAT. With one decisive push, Emma delivered the pie squarely into Jessica's face. Thick, gloppy whipped cream and pudding splattered violently in all directions and oozed over the sides of the plate, dropping down in heavy clumps onto Jessica's shoulders and into her cleavage. The crowd reacted with a collective groan, followed by a roar of approval. In one humiliating instant, Jessica had been stripped of her immense magnetism. Her face was now unrecognizable under a gooey, sticky mask. Her mouth hung open, as if she had not expected to be hit so forcefully. One of the hottest girls on campus was now the object of laughter as she attempted to pull off clumps of pie.

"I think it's time for Jessica to get a little sweet revenge." Said J.D., grinning.

The crowd cheered as Emma stepped in front of the camera. She waited dutifully, seeming to take it all in stride. As Jessica approached her, holding the second pie, Emma dissolved into giggles. With sadistic pleasure, onlookers anticipated the moment when Emma's strikingly beautiful face would be replaced unceremoniously with a cream pie. Who would be able to forget that radiant smile and those blue eyes? The pie was raised in aim. Emma looked into the camera and managed to maintain as much poise as could be expected under the circumstances:

"I'm Emma. I'm 20 years old and I'm from Columbia, Maryland. I'm a sophomore Communications major at the University of Michigan. I play the flute. In my free time, I also volunteer at the SPCA and I'm involved in the Arts Ambassadors program here on campus."

SPLAT. Emma received the pie right in her face. It hit with a satisfying slap, oozed and splattered in all directions. The crowd gasped and erupted in cheers. With pleasure, Jessica rubbed and smooshed the plate from side to side and then pushed it upwards, smearing whipped cream and pudding into Emma's hair. Another one of the University of Michigan's hottest girls had gotten her (unjust?) deserts.

Emma and Jessica looked deflated as they attempted to wipe gobs of pie away from their eyes.


"Now that both of our contestants are unrecognizable, it's time to start the game," J.D. joked, flippantly. "By the way, do we have any towels available? No? We ran out? Sorry."

A plastic covering was pulled away, revealing a giant word search board positioned at the far end of the tarp. The two girls were lined up at the 'start' line with their backs to the board. They were handed plastic cards and were instructed not to look at the cards. J.D. pulled the microphone to his mouth and paused, heightening the anticipation.

"The word is...chocolate!"

Cheered on by the crowd, Jessica and Emma turned and raced to the board. Frantically, they searched for the word. Jessica thrust her card over the word 'chocolate' just in time. The crowd cheered and prepared for the impending spectacle. A cart was wheeled out, containing three enormous cans of Hershey's chocolate syrup. A white plastic stool was placed in the middle of the tarp.

"Emma, we're going to ask you to take a seat," instructed J.D.

Giggling nervously, Emma complied. She dropped her hands in her lap and braced herself. Her body was the epitome of glorious, youthful femininity. How could anyone take pleasure in watching such a beautiful girl endure this fate? Slowly and gleefully, Jessica lifted the first heavy can of chocolate syrup and held it precariously over Emma's head. J.D.'s voice took on a cold, sadistic tone:

"Go ahead, punish her."

The can began to tip. The crowd cheered with earsplitting intensity as black, sticky chocolate engulfed Emma, demolishing what was left of her cute red ponytail. Her shoulders shot into the air and she writhed, as if with orgasmic pleasure. Chocolate dripped onto Emma's shoulders and poured into her sumptuous cleavage. Her bright bikini top turned black and disappeared. Chocolate collected in between her sensuous breasts and filled her lap. It ran down, down, down, coating her smooth legs and collecting at her bare feet in a massive lake. The second can brought a new deluge. Emma clutched the sides of the stool. Her body gyrated. She almost seemed to be enjoying this unique tactile experience. Onlookers watched in disbelief as Emma vanished under the final chocolate torrent. When it was over, she stood up slowly with her dripping arms outstretched. Her body was consumed in chocolate. Her strawberry blond hair was gone, replaced with a mass of black stickiness. Emma took careful steps, trying not to slip in the pool of chocolate that now flooded the tarp. She paused to wipe chocolate away from her eyes.

"Emma, are you OK?" J.D. asked, grinning.

"I'm fine," came the meek, giggly response. There was an endearing sincerity in her voice.

Taking new cards, Jessica and Emma lined up again with their backs to the board. The game was so stupid that they didn't know how to react, beyond giggling. They waited in suspense for J.D. to call out the word.

"The word is...Spaghetti!"

Again, the girls turned and ran to the board. This time, it was a little more difficult because they had to step barefoot through the pool of chocolate and the smeared remnants of the pies. Jessica arrived at the board first, found the word, and pushed her card over the corresponding letters before Emma even had a chance. The crowd moaned in mock sympathy. A new cart was wheeled out containing three giant cans of Spaghetti-Os.

"Oh no!" Exclaimed J.D. "That was so unfair! Do you guys really think Emma deserves to get three cans of Spaghetti-Os dumped over her head?"

"YES!!!" Roared the crowd.

Shaking with giggles, Emma took a seat on the stool and braced herself. Jessica lifted the first can of Spaghetti-O's over Emma's head. She paused for a moment. Then, it happened. A mass of circular noodles and red sauce consumed Emma, adding a new layer of glop. She endured two more cans and then stood up, looking slightly dazed. As if in disbelief, she looked down and surveyed her slop-covered body.

"Ew, this is so gross!" She moaned through laughter.

Again the girls lined up with new cards.

"The word is...baked beans!" Called out J.D.

Bare feet sloshed through the disgusting, accumulating mixture. It was hard not to slip, and the girls could no longer dash to the board. Confidently, Jessica thrust her card to the board, but she had not looked carefully enough at the letters. Emma pushed her card over the correct letters. The crowd cheered as a cart was wheeled out which contained three giant cans of baked beans.

"Jessica, we're going to ask you to take a seat." Said J.D.

The defeat had taken Jessica by surprise. Now, she seemed less enthusiastic about the game.

"Oh my God, do we really have to do this?" Jessica protested through giggles as she took a seat on the stool.

Gleefully, Emma lifted the first can of baked beans and held it over Jessica's head. The crowd waited in breathless anticipation, realizing that Jessica's long, glorious hair was about to become history.

J.D. moved in with the microphone:

"Emma, I bet you never imagined you would get to do something like this to your beloved roommate! How is it going to feel?"

"Rad." Emma responded.

"Go for it, Emma! Punish her!"

The can was tipped. Heavy, sloppy, cold baked beans dumped down onto Jessica. Within seconds, her long, beautiful hair was engulfed. Jessica's body stiffened as she felt the baked beans drip onto her shoulders and collect in her cleavage. Her mouth hung open. The second can was dumped, and then the third. Guys throughout the crowd watched in fascination as Jessica's sumptuous body was consumed in baked beans.

"That was only slightly humiliating," quipped J.D.

The tarp was now getting so sloppy that the girls could hardly walk. The game was devolving quickly into total silliness. The girls lined up again, but they were already so messy that it was hard to take anything seriously.

"The word is...peanut butter!"

On the way to the board, Jessica slipped and landed face down in the slop. She burst into uncontrollable giggles. Triumphantly, Emma tagged the board with her card. A cart was wheeled out that contained a giant, 35-pound bucket of bulk creamy peanut butter.

"Oh my God, not in my hair!" Jessica moaned as she took a seat.

Emma hesitated for a moment. Obviously, she had never imagined that she would be smearing gobs of peanut butter all over her roommate's body. She scooped two enormous handfuls of thick, gooey peanut butter.

"Oh my God, No! No!" Protested Jessica through giggles.

Emma pushed and smeared the peanut butter into Jessica's hair. All of Jessica's cool confidence was gone. Now, she looked utterly ridiculous. She melted into giggles, accepting her punishment. Perhaps it was even liberating. Two handfuls of peanut butter massaged Jessica's full breasts, causing her to writhe with pleasure on the stool. Her smooth legs turned brown.

The next word was 'cake.' Emma's hands were so covered in peanut butter that her card became unreadable. Somehow, Jessica got her card over the correct letters. A giant, elaborately decorated chocolate layer cake was placed on the stool.

"Is she going to throw it at me?" Emma asked, looking slightly confused and dissolving into giggles at the ridiculousness of the question.

"According to studies, it's the secret fantasy of many women to sit in a cake." Said J.D. "I kind of made that up, but that's what we're going to let Emma do right now!"

Emma slipped and slid through the accumulated mess and made it to the stool.

"This is such a waste!" She giggled, gazing down at the cake.

She stood over the stool, as if unsure how to proceed.

"Come on, you know you want to do this!" Encouraged J.D. "By the way, Emma, you have a pretty nice ass. Our 'Ass Cam' is getting a great view right now!"

The delirious crowd counted down and Emma sank into the cake, crushing it flat. She seemed to enjoy the sensation as it slurped between her legs and oozed over the sides of the stool.

The game was devolving into total insanity. Dripping like creatures from a bad science fiction film, Emma and Jessica lined up once again with their backs to the board.

"The word is...ketchup and mustard!" Called out J.D.

Emma and Jessica could hardly walk through the slop without slipping. Emma pushed her card over the correct letters. The crowd erupted in cheers. Everyone seemed to wonder how much messier these lovely young women could get.

"Jessica, you're about to turn into a human hot dog!" J.D. joked. "Please take a seat on the stool and prepare for your punishment."

Gleefully, Emma picked up the first plastic bottle of mustard, aimed it directly over Jessica's head, and squirted. The contents collected on top of Jessica's head like a perverse hat. The precariously balanced mustard slid off in a yellow avalanche. Giggling, Jessica lunged, grabbed a bottle of ketchup, aimed and fired. A torrent of red consumed Emma. As the crowd cheered, a ketchup and mustard war erupted between the two roommates. Additional carts were wheeled out and now it was an all-out food fight. Eggs, cream pies, barbecue sauce, and jello flew. Emma pulled out the back of Jessica's bikini bottom and dumped in cold, gloppy mashed potatoes. Both girls shrieked with uncontrollable laughter as they dived and slid around the tarp. They rolled and wallowed in the disgusting mixture. Within two minutes they stood, completely consumed and looking dazed. It was time to get hosed down.

"Emma and Jessica, this must be your proudest moment. How are you feeling right now?" Asked J.D.

"I feel disgusting, but this was totally awesome!" Emma answered.

"I just want a shower!" Giggled Jessica.