Captain Amy Order Vs Professor Havoc:

Report One

"Captain Order" The view screen showed the office of Control, head of the Space Patrol Force. An attractive lady with long bright red hair, she was dressed in a black silk kimono. She was perched on the edge of her desk.

"I hear you Control." Captain Amy Order stood on the bridge of the patrol ship SPF 50. She was clad in her signature blue bodysuit made of Defencium: a mineral so tricky to make, all suits had to be skin-tight. (That was the excuse of the Supplies Department and they were sticking to it). Her hair dyed blue to match it was tied back in a ponytail.

"We have analysed the remains from the galactic mess incidents." Control informed her.

A spate of incidents had occurred in the last week.

The Chief Executive of the leading Tech Company(TM) known for his looks and smart suits had been covered in a multitude of cream pies while in the back of his space limo.

A lead Actress who, while filming an advert in a skimpy swimsuit, discovered just too late that the pool she was artistically diving into was filled with blue slime.

The Princess of Betelgeuse VI having her dress fused to the floor over a pipe that pumped out custard. The interesting expression on the Princess' face as the dress filled before the custard erupted out and over her had been etched in Captain Order's memory.

Others had suffered similar fates, although the members of the press had noted that all those affected could be described as deserving a pie to the face or other parts of the body.

"Have you found the fiend?" Order asked.

Control stood and walked over to a large trough that contained a mixture of slime, cream and custard.

"We have managed to identity signature ingredients in the slop that could have only have come from Pieme 2."

"What do we know about Pieme 2?"

Control walked over to a wall and pressed a button. From the wall a filling cabinet swiftly emerged. She opened it and removed a file.

"According to our intel the only person on the planet who could be capable is Professor Havoc."

"Professor Havoc!" Captain Order posed, hands on hips, chest out. "Who is that?"

"No idea. Go arrest him and then find out if he's responsible."

Control slammed the filling cabinet closed. She tried to move away but the edge of her kimono was caught in the cabinet. The cabinet retreated back into the wall, quicker than it had emerged and took the robe with it. Control was spun out of the kimono, revealing a toned well-proportioned body covered only by a black g-string, stockings and high heels. She pivoted around and collided with the edge of the trough that was filled to the brim with all manner of goo. Unable to stop herself she toppled forward into the muck. She landed face first with a splat. Her pert arse one of the last things to sink out of view.

The viewscreen went blank.

"Ahem" Captain Order coughed. "Set course for Pieme 2"

-

A short while later, in the galley of the SPF 50, three of the chefs were preparing desserts for the crew meals.

"So" The middle chef, a petite brunette, asked as she finished adding whipped cream to the key lime pie. "Where are we heading to this time?"

The chef to her left, a blonde man, paused "What did they say." He thought for a second, "Oh yeah, Pieme"

The brunette chef shrugged and with one hand pushed the pie into his face.

"No," said the chef to her right, a red head girl who hadn't noticed what had happened, "Pieme 2"

The brunette chef shrugged again, she grabbed a pie she had finished earlier and smushed it into the red head's face.

There was a pause as the two chefs wiped their eyes clear and turned to glare at the brunette, who attempted to look innocent. They each grabbed a pie and sandwiched the brunette, covering her head.

-

On the bridge of the SPF 50, Captain Amy Order looked at the planet of Pieme 2.

"What do scans show?"

"Standard readings, reasonable atmosphere, nothing toxic or dangerous. Signs of technology, we're detecting a large outpost, several large buildings."

"Order to Control, we've arrived at Pieme 2" The viewscreen changed to a view of Control's office. She was nowhere to be seen. Then a gasp came from the trough. They could make out Control's head just above the surface, coated in the slop, her mouth open. Movement just below the surface suggested that her hands...there was a moan of pleasure before the screen went blank.

"I'll just head down and investigate" Amy said blushing.

-

Amy was stood on the teleporter as Olivia 'Oily' Arran, the Chief Engineer entered. She was nicknamed Oily due to her ability to always end up covered in it.

"I've set the teleporter co-ordinates for the site. I'll go track down this menace." Amy posed proudly, hands on hips.

"Did you remember to adjust for the issue with the teleporter tracking system?"

"What issue?"

"I sent you a memo, remember?"

The teleporter activated.

-

Captain Amy Order appeared mid pose ten meters to the left of the landing pad and unfortunately two meters past the edge. She hung in mid-air for a split second, seeing a man in a lab coat stare at her before dropping. Fortunately, it wasn't too high up, the landing was soft and the mud was only waist deep. Amy struggled to find her footing; she had managed avoid going all the way under but the mud had splattered all the way up her bodysuit to her breasts. But her suit was made for worse situations and prevented the mud from getting in.

"Are you okay?" A voice called down.

"I'm fine, this is nothing," She shifted herself in the mud and looked up. "Captain Order will not be stopped so easily."

"Captain Amy Order?" The man in the lab coat sat on the side of the landing pad a few meters above. He had a beard, glasses and was looked roughly the same age as her.

"That's right."

"Hero of the Space Patrol Force?"

"Correct"

"Awarded ten Medals of Valour and credited with the saving the galaxy countless times before the age of 30."

"You've heard of me." She attempted to pose, which was tricky in the mud.

"Once modelled for Miss Denise's Adult Toy Emporium?"

"How did you know about that?"

"It's amazing what you can find out online."

"Who are you?"

"Oh, I am sorry. I'm Professor Havoc."

"I am here to arrest..." There was a rumble behind her. She turned in the mud and saw what could best be described as a cross between a hippo and a St Bernard lumbering slowly through the mud towards her.

"Don't mind the guard dog." Havoc told her conversationally.

"You won't be able to stop me with such creatures." Amy drew her sidearm blaster and took aim as it plodded towards her.

"Hey! You can't shoot it!" Havoc protested

"Watch me"

"No, I mean you really can't, it's a Dogapotamus; an endangered species, legally protected by the Space Patrol Force regulations"

"WHAT!" Amy began backing away; a difficult feat in waist deep mud.

"Relax it's not carnivorous."

"Really?" The creature was getting closer as she backed up to the base of the landing pad. Amy looked at the wall; smooth and with a distinct lack of handholds.

"Yeah, it only eats odd minerals. Stupidonium, Bloodyhardtogetite, Defencium."

"...It eats Defencium?" The creature nosed up to Amy

"Well, eat is a strong word, it usually just licks the stuff, its saliva will melt Defencium but not do anything to you or I."

The Dogapotamus opened its mouth to reveal a massive tongue covered in slime saliva.

"No, no, no..."

It licked straight up her body, covering her body and face in saliva.

"Oh," Havoc suddenly realised, "The suit is made from Defencium."

The front of Amy's body felt warm as the suit began to dissolve and the mud began to seep in. The creature continued to lick her all over, slowly stripping her naked and allowing the mud to cover her.

-

There was a knock at the door to Control's office. Miss Samantha, Control's assistant walked in. She stopped and looked around, unable to see her boss. She was blonde, wearing glasses and dressed in a suit, blouse and skirt. She put the paperwork she was carrying on the desk and then noticed a mess covered high heel shoe on the floor next to the trough. She picked it up and felt the slop. She rubbed it between her fingers and glanced at the tub, licking her lips. She then noticed a mound of mess in one corner was watching her.

Control emerged from the mess and embraced Miss Samantha, kissing her passionately.

"I wondered why you watched those crime scene vids quite so intently" Control said before pulling her in to the goo. Samantha shrugged off her suit jacket and smeared herself with the slop. Control ripped the blouse from her revealing a lace bra that covered pert breasts with nipples that were already poking out. The bra soon joined the rest of the clothes at the bottom of the trough as the ladies entwined themselves amid the goo; kissing, groping and fingering.

-

Captain Amy Order lay in the mud, gasping. The Dogapotamus had been very persistent and its tongue surprisingly nimble. She was now covered in slimy goo and mud. From head to toe, from breasts to buttocks, it covered every inch and crack of her body.

"I always assumed you wore something under that suit." Havoc was bend forward in slight discomfort with one of his legs crossed over the other.

Amy was speechless at the affront, the indignity and the arousal she was feeling.

She eventually managed "I will be back" and activated the return teleporter on her wrist.

Havoc remained seated. "Why didn't she use that before?" He said aloud.

-

Aboard the SPF 50, Olivia Arran looked Amy Order up and down admiringly

"Not a word." Order ordered, breathing heavily.

She noticed Oily bearing streaks of white and green on her face. "What happened to you?"

"We had to break up a pie fight in the galley. Well, I say fight, the amount of nakedness involved, orgy would also be an apt description."

"I need a shower, a new suit and some food."

-

Later, after a thorough clean with a lot of soap and shampoo, Amy emerged naked from the shower in her quarters to see a tray on her desk. A burger, chips and next to it a large banoffee pie, smothered in whipped cream.

She hesitated as a thought crossed her mind before picking the pie up and placing it on her chair.

Captain Amy Order turned, closed her eyes and slowly sat.