"For our next challenge, we need four brave volunteers..."

Dressed in board shorts and a tank top, with microphone in hand, the hunky young host, J.D. Ross, delivered the words with the cocky irreverence of a spoiled frat boy. His mildly sadistic tone signaled that something enticingly dangerous lay ahead. In response, cheers rang out from the giddy crowd and a sea of hands shot up across the sun-drenched lawn.

On this warm afternoon at the end of the spring semester, 'College Messy Olympics' had come to the campus of Arizona State University. Broadcast live on the internet, the infamous event traveled the country putting attractive, swimsuit-clad college students in totally outrageous and messy situations. As anticipation mounted, J.D. took his time to survey an array of tantalizing possibilities. Then, he made his selections.

"We're going to ask these lovely young women to come forward now."

A dance beat began to pump from the sound system. Cheered on by the crowd, four girls, all wearing colorful bikinis, stepped forward, barefoot, onto a giant blue tarp. Giggling and exchanging nervous glances, they faced the crowd and the cameras.

"Let's meet our contestants," said J.D. "Give us your name, your age, your hometown, and tell us what you are studying here at ASU."

The first girl had dark, vivacious eyes and wavy chestnut brown hair which fell just below her shoulders and glistened in the sunlight. Her lips twisted into a mildly flirtatious smile. She exhibited reasonable poise, yet there was a touch of giggly trepidation in her voice.

"I'm Natalie. I'm 20 years old. I'm from Fort Collins, Colorado and I'm majoring in Psychology."

The second girl had long blond hair. Clear blue eyes illuminated a princess-like face of Scandinavian complexion.

"I'm Eva. I'm 19 years old and I'm from Medford, Oregon. I'm a sophomore at ASU, majoring in Biomedical Sciences."

The third girl in line seemed to enjoy the attention of the camera. She might have been of hispanic or Mediterranean persuasion. Her gleaming dark hair was pulled into a single braid. As she spoke, it became apparent that her confidence was a cover for mild apprehension.

"I'm Isabella. I'm 21 years old. I'm from Brooklyn, New York. I'm a senior at Arizona State University, graduating with a major in Communications."

The final girl was sweet and slightly shy. She seemed like the responsible, down-to-earth 'girl next door.' Her short auburn hair was pulled into a neat ponytail. She spoke with an endearing sincerity:

"Hi, I'm Lauren. I'm 20 years old. I'm from Austin, Texas. I'm a junior majoring in Business and Marketing."

There was a giggly congeniality among the four girls that was impossible to ignore.

"Are you all best friends or something?" J.D. asked.

"We're housemates," Natalie explained.

"Rad. In a moment, Natalie and Eva will be facing off against Isabella and Lauren in one of our wackiest relay races. But first, I have to ask, do you all like ice cream?"

Laughing innocently, the four girls nodded 'yes.'

"How about banana splits?"

On cue, a crew of guys wheeled out two metal carts. Neatly assembled on each cart were two unpeeled bananas, an opened tub of vanilla ice cream with a scoop, a bottle of whipped cream, a bottle of Hersheys Chocolate Syrup, and a cherry.

"Each of you will be using these ingredients to make a banana split," explained J.D. "In order to accomplish this task, you will team up with your partner in our totally outrageous relay race. The team that completes their two banana splits first wins the game. Sounds pretty simple, right? Unfortunately, there's just one small catch. A few moments ago, the crew that was responsible for preparing this event realized that they forgot to get dishes..."

A segment of the audience seemed to have an idea where this was going. Sensing their delighted reaction, the girls giggled and shifted nervously.

"We have completely run out of ice cream dishes. That means that each of you will be transporting the ingredients for your banana split...in your bikini bottom."

The crowd erupted with a feverish cheer, punctuated by raucous male cat calls and whistles. The girls froze. Their mouths dropped open, as if they struggled to process what they had heard.

"Here's how it's going to work," continued J.D., quickly. "At the start line, your teammate will drop one ingredient into the back of your bikini bottom. You must transport that ingredient around the orange cone and back to the start line while balancing your team's cherry on the end of a plastic spoon. When you get back to the start line, you must transfer the cherry to your teammate's spoon. Then, you will alternate and drop an ingredient into your partner's bikini and she will take her walk around the cone. You will continue until all of the ingredients are filling both of your bikinis. The final ingredient will be the cherry. At the moment the cheery goes into your swimsuit, you have completed your race. If the cherry drops off your spoon at any time during the race, you must return to the start line immediately to receive a new cherry from your partner before continuing. Do you have any questions?"

"You mean, we're going to actually, like, have it IN our swimsuits?" Natalie stammered, with a mix of amusement and incredulity. "Oh my God..."

"I think I'm going to feel violated," giggled Lauren.

Confronted with the outrageousness of the event, the girls' apprehension manifested as silliness.

"I don't know if I can keep my bikini on," protested Eva. "What if it slips down? I've, like, never put anything in there before..."

Eva dissolved into giggles, as if she could not believe she was saying the words out loud.

J.D. oozed reassurance:

"We've done this successfully at USC, Vanderbilt, and a few other schools. At the University of Florida, we did a 'Burrito Bikini' relay with cold refried beans and guacamole. But we do need to bring out our 'Ass Cam' and make sure you each have enough room in there to perform this task properly. The rowdy crowd loved the idea. The girls complied with instructs to stand with their backs to the audience while a butt-level camera panned in on each exquisite ass. The crowd rated each girl's ass with the volume of their cheers. On a scale of one to ten, with one being the worst, they were all tens. Giggling, Natalie gyrated and wiggled for the camera as the crowd went wild. Embarrassed but feeling obligated to follower her roommate's lead, Eva gave a brief, halfhearted wiggle. Isabella tried to conceal herself in modesty, but everyone still got a decent view. Quiet, studious Lauren listened for instructions and didn't notice the camera.

"Before we start the clock, we're going to let you drop in your bananas," said J.D. "Natalie, I think you're up first."

"So we're really doing this?!" Natalie moaned in disbelief, shaking with giggles.

Hesitantly, she stepped up to the 'start' line on the tarp. She looked as if she was preparing to walk the plank. Slowly, almost gleefully, Eva stepped to the cart, selected a banana, and carefully began to remove the peel. The crowd cheered with riotous intensity. Every second felt increasingly tortuous and charged with anticipation.

"Natalie from Fort Collins, Colorado...I bet this is your proudest moment," quipped J.D. "Just so you know, we have almost a hundred thousand viewing the livestream right now. I think that's a record. All of your friends back home are going to LOVE seeing this!"

Cheered on by the crowd, Eva approached, delicately holding the peeled banana. For a moment, she hesitated.

"Yes Eva, you really do have permission to do this," said J.D. "Go ahead and drop it in."

Natalie's body stiffened as Eva pulled out the back of the elastic bikini bottom. The banana plopped in, creating a slight bulge. An earsplitting cheer rang out from the crowd. Overcome with the novelty of the experience, Natalie giggled, bounced her ass lightly, and adjusted her bikini, in order to allow the banana to settle.

"Natalie, it isn't every day that you have a banana in your bikini," joked J.D. "How does it feel?"

"It feels kind of slimy. I just hope it doesn't get squished."

"Eva, you're up," prompted J.D.

Eva took her place at the 'start' line. Nervously, she brushed both hands through her long, straight hair before dropping her arms loosely to her sides in resignation. She took a deep breath and braced herself. Eva's shoulders scrunched and she let out a giggly yelp as she felt Natalie pull out the back of her bikini bottom. The banana dropped in, and the crowd let out another cheer of delight. Eva did her own 'banana dance' to position the squishy fruit.

"Isabella, your moment has come," said J.D.

"Oh my God," moaned Isabella, shaking her head as she complied, grudgingly. "I can't believe I'm doing this...This is SO stupid..."

Isabella covered her face with her hands as Lauren pulled out the back of her bikini and dropped in the banana. A moment later, Lauren took her place on the line and waited in anticipation to receive her banana.

"How are you feeling right now, Lauren?" J.D. asked.

"I'm a little nervous, but I'm totally psyched," she responded, with surprising enthusiasm.

She giggled as her swimsuit was pulled back, and the banana was dropped in.

Now, it was time for the race to begin. A deep, earthy dance beat began to pump from the sound system. Natalie and Isabella took their places at the starting line. Both balanced a cherry on a plastic spoon.

"On your mark...Get set!...GO!"

Cheered on by the crowd, Natalie and Isabella took their first steps forward. They giggled, uncontrollably as they attempted to move as quickly as possible without dropping their cherries and without squishing the bananas which bulged from their bikinis. They made their way around the orange cones and headed back to the starting line. Isabella was in the lead, but only slightly. They transferred the cherries to their teammates, and soon, Eva and Lauren were off.

"These young women are putting their college educations to great use right now," joked J.D. "By the way, a fun fact for everyone watching at home: Arizona State University ranks sixth on the list of top research schools."

Eva and Lauren circled their cones and made it back to the start line. They passed off their cherries to their teammates, who were waiting, spoon in hand. Then, they dashed to the carts. Each girl grabbed their scoop and thrust it into the tub of ice cream. The ice cream had not yet softened significantly. Eva and Lauren raced back to their partners, each with a generous and firm scoop of vanilla ice cream. Eva was now in the lead. She pulled out Natalie's bikini and shook the scoop. Natalie let out a giggly gasp as the ice cream plopped into her bikini. She lost no time in setting out for the cone. As Natalie attempted to walk, the heavy mass appeared to sink lower in her swimsuit. Desperate to make up for lost time, Lauren pulled the ice cream off the scoop and flung it into Isabella's bikini. On one level, all four girls were trying to win the race. On another level, they understood that the entire thing was a total farce.

"Oh my God, it's cold!" Natalie giggled as she returned to the starting line. As Eva and Lauren were treated to a scoop of ice cream in their bikini's, J.D. raised the microphone. He spoke in a high pitched voice filled with mock innocence, as if to imitate the questions of a bewildered child.

"Why are they doing that, mommy? Why are they putting ice cream in their swimsuits?"

Moments later, the girls shook cans of whipped cream, pulled out each others' bikini bottoms, aimed, and squirted. As the bulging contents got heavier and continued to sag, walking became increasingly challenging. With a vigorous squeeze of the bottle, each girl received a thick, sticky gob of chocolate syrup. As they made their final trips, the first trickles of melting ice cream began to drip down the backs of their legs. Maintaining their lead, Eva and Natalie dropped in their cherries with six seconds to spare. They high-fived as Lauren and Isabella dropped in their own cherries while looking defeated. The winners received a congratulatory cheer from the crowd.

By participating in the perverse, mildly kinky relay race, each girl had sacrificed her last ounce of dignity. Now, it was playtime. Laughing gleefully, Natalie grabbed a bottle of whipped cream, shook it, pulled out the front of Eva's bikini bottom and squirted. Eva's mouth dropped open, an ecstatic look crossed her face, and she gasped.

"Oh my God, I think I'm going to have an orgasm" Eva giggled, as she felt the whipped cream enter her most private orifice.

A moment later, she returned the favor. Reveling in the immaturity of their acts, the girls squirted each other with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. They let out giggly shrieks as the substances filled their swimsuits, hit smooth legs, coated their bright bikini tops and slid into their cleavage.

"Wait, I forgot to bring a change of cloths!" Lauren moaned through uncontrollable giggles. "I'm going to have to walk all the way across campus like this!"

"I think it's time for the Big Smoosh," announced J.D. "Natalie, you're up first"

Dripping from head to foot with whipped cream and chocolate and giggling sheepishly, Natalie complied. She stood on the original starting line with her ass to the crowd. A feverish countdown began.

"Five...Four...Three...Two...ONE!!!"

Slowly, with great pleasure, Eva pressed her hand into Natalie's ass. Natalie gave a giggly shriek as the contents of her bikini were smushed into oozing slop. Clumps of smashed banana and gloppy ice cream dropped down Natalie's legs onto the tarp. She reached into her bikini to pull out what remained.

"This is so gross!" Natalie giggled.

Eva took her place on the starting line and a new countdown began. Her long blond hair was coated in gobs of chocolate and cream. To the delight of the crowd, she gave her ass a brief, teasing wiggle.

Smoosh. Natalie's firm hand massaged Eva's ass, crushing the banana split.

Isabella looked defeated as she took her place on the starting line. Obviously, she just wanted to get this over with.

Smoosh. Isabella's swimsuit turned into soupy banana puree. The crowd wanted to see Lauren wiggle, and she complied.

Smoosh. As the contents of her bikini were crushed and dropped down her legs, Lauren looked as if she was enjoying the unique experience.

A moment later, all four girls were supplied with water hoses.

"Oh my God, this is such a mess," moaned Eva. "I don't even know where to begin." The girls attempted to pull out remaining clumps. They cleaned their hair, faces, and bodies. Then, they aimed the hoses inside their bikini bottoms.

"Lauren, before today, had you ever made a banana split in your bikini?" J.D. asked.

"This was a first for me!" Lauren responded, good-naturedly.

"Natalie, how are you feeling?"

"I just want to go home and take a shower!"