All Is Fair

The rain poured off the roof of the booth and dripped down Kathy's back for at least the fiftieth time today. At least since she started counting. The last day of the county fair was always a little slow, but the rain had chased away most of the usual visitors. She checked the temperature on the oven and swore. The used portable commercial oven she'd relied on for the past eight years was finally giving up the ghost. The final pastries in the bin would have to last the rest of the day. They probably would, the vendor row she was on was a ghost town, closest to the cow barn and furthest away from the energy of the midway and the lights of the carnival rides.

She'd long gotten used to the smells from the cows and pigs, but it didn't help that her rival across the way was Staci from Staci's Scones. They'd been friends in high school, the curse of living in a small town, but Staci's competitiveness in everything had caused them to drift apart. Through a monumental stroke of bad luck, the two scone vendors were directly across from each other.

Beside Kathy's sleepy strawberry shortcake stand was a booth promoting a local Renaissance Faire which ran every weekend. An ancient looking butter churn, a cask of ale, a wooden pillory, an archery target, and a suit of armor occupied the small space. The owner of the venue looked miserable in his chain mail and tights. "Enough of this! My chain mail is rusting, I'm out of here! the proprietor groaned. Kathy called out to him, "Before you go, here!" she offered him a bowl filled with strawberries in a thick delicious sugary syrup, topped it with a fluffy pastry, and squirted a generous blast of whipped cream on top. Accepting the gift, the man went into character, "I know not through what sorcery you produce such vittles, M'Lady, but your kindness will be heralded throughout my kingdom!" the man bowed regally.

"You're welcome, Greg!" Kathy grinned.

"That's Sir Gregory to you!" called the out-of-place knight as he beat a hasty retreat to his truck in the rain.

"You finally got someone to take your Strawberry Shortcake!" grinned her rival Staci from across the aisle.

"Ha ha." Kathy replied, rolling her eyes.

"You know why we got banished out here this year, don't you?" Staci called over, conspiratorially.

"The fairground office said there was a conflict with one of the national advertisers needing our usual space." Kathy responded with a hint of skepticism.

"Nope!" Staci called back. "Madison was responsible for assigning the booth spaces this year. She must really have an axe to grind with both of us to be in exile down here together."

Kathy's heart sank. Madison wasn't just one of the mean girls from high school, Madison had ruined her first marriage to Mark, her high school sweetheart and captain of the football team. That little home-wrecker was now going after her business too?! Kathy stirred her food-grade barrel of sticky patsry batter just to burn off her anger. The rain mixed with the discarded fair food, paper plates, rain melted cotton candy and unwanted corn dogs, the empty walkway churned into a muddy river, discouraging any other visitors.

By lunchtime any remaining hope of sales were as washed up as her batter-covered apron and shoulder length dishwater blonde hair, her cheerful pink t-shirt clinging to her otherwise athletic frame. Leaning on her counter she saw the raven-haired Staci smirk, "Speak of the devil!"

Walking carefully down the muddy aisle wearing tight shorts, flip flops and a very expensive mountaineering jacket, the hood shielding her perfect blonde hair, a haughty smile on her ruby red lips, strode Madison, the former classmate and now ruler of the fairgrounds. "I just wanted to check on you girls, it's been forever since we saw each other. How's the spot working out." she smirked.

"As well as can be expected, being in the worst section of the fairgrounds across from someone selling nearly identical desserts." growled Staci.

"Scones and Strawberry Shortcake are completely different! Scones go pastry, berry jam, then whipped cream, while strawberry shortcake goes berry jam, pastry, then whipped cream." explained Madison in a condescending tone. "I would have thought you knew the difference, but of course neither of you made it to college, so..." trailed off Madison with a smirk. "Oh, Kathy, Mark made Director of Marketing at work! We're heading to Aruba next week to celebrate!" she purred cruelly.

"How nice for you." responded Kathy through clenched teeth, just wanting this exchange to be over.

"Well I must be going, I can't spend all day hanging out with the cows and pigs!" chuckled Madison darkly. "I hope we'll see you again next year, I have a great spot planned for you next year by the Port-a-Potties!" Madison cackled as she turned to go.

Staci had already walked slowly out from her stand, holding her hands behind her. "Don't go without trying a free sample." she said sweetly, before smushing a paper bowl full of sticky raspberry jam and whipped cream into Madison's chest. "Enjoy!" she giggled. Madison fumed! "That's it, I'm calling security, you're out of this fair! Good luck tryign to make money here again!" she growled. By then Kathy had crossed into the front of her booth, holding a bucket to thick batter. "In that case, we won't be needing this." Kathy tugged down Madison's hood and slowly poured the thick, bubbling batter over her perfect blonde hair. Satisfied, she tossed the bucket aside and massaged it into Madison's hair playfully. "I'll send the fairgrounds a bill for the batter." she giggled, returning to her booth to pack up as Staci gave her a thumbs up.

From behind she heard the frantic snapping of flip flops moving far too quickly, before she felt herself tackled into the muddy ground. Madison was on top of her, forcing her face into the mud. "You know what? I'm glad I took Mark from you, you never deserved him!" she hissed. She sputtered, her face forced into the mud, eyes wide. She felt herself dragged up by Staci, who then turned her attention to the batter coated blonde, wrestling her in the muck. Thinking quickly, Kathy flung open the wooden pillory from the booth next door. "Staci, in here!" She called out. Staci twisted Madison's arm behind her and pulled her into the stocks while Kathy lowered the restraint across her neck and wrists. "There, now maybe you can calm down." Kathy scolded as Madison struggled against the medieval restraints, letting loose a string of expletives. Staci approached the back of the pillory, tugging Madison's shorts down around her ankles, her lacy black panties soon splattered with rain. "Wait'll I get out of here! You're both ruined!" Madison screamed.

"Ruined? What a good idea." grinned Kathy, retrieving a pair of scissors from her stand and gently slicing through Madison's expensive coat and top. Madison's face went white when she realized how vulnerable she was bent over wearing only her bra and panties in the rain. Kathy returned the shears back to her stand, retrieving a bottle of whipped cream and a catering tray of berries in sticky jam. Turning behind the vixen, Kathy smoothly tugged the blonde's panties out and slowly poured the gooey, thick strawberry dessert over her butt, ensuring it dripped down her thighs. Turning to her chest, Kathy slipped the nozzle of the whipped cream canister into the cup of Madison's bra and let loose a blast, bulging the bra with a comical gurgle and a sticky, dripping dairy topping bulge. She repeated her treatment with the other cup, then stepped to the front. She aimed the nozzle at Madison's furious, wrinkled nose, and let loose a towering mound of cream. Both ladies fist bumped each other as they retrieved their phones, taking video of Madison's humiliating state and taunting the restrained woman as a crowd began to gather in the pounding rain. After a few selfies, Kathy and Staci released the bar, steeling themselves to face the music. Thus freed, Madison exploded at Kathy, slapping her viciously across her still muddy cheek. Staci rushed the still fuming Madison, picking her up and easily tossing her over her shoulder, and ran towards the livestock barn, tossing Madison over the fence into the pig sty where she disappeared into the reeking mud, disappearing below the surface with a splurt before reemerging, a brown, shiny mess. Smelling the strawberries, one of the occupants began to lick at her strawberry coated butt, forcing her back into the thick mud. Staci and Kathy rushed to their stands, retrieving the remaining berry preserves and whipped cream cans, adding more humiliation to the mud-streaked homewrecker, now a laughingstock. Another photo, and the two once and future friends turned to each other. "It is nice to see you again, Kathy."

"You too, Staci!" as they walked together to the exit.