What are the sorts of things that would put you off meeting up with someone for a session?

Would it be them wanting to use a substance you can't stand?
Would it be their insistence on doing something that you don't like?
Would it just be that they simply aren't nice to talk to online? (rude, intimidating, creepy)
Or would it just simply be you're too nervous?

Have you ever been put off meeting someone for those or any other reasons.
Share any horror stories of being put off meets or if you've met someone and totally regretted it

Bad grammar.

If they lack the ability to cultivate good conversation without a lot of fertilizer.

In no particular order:

Pushy people
People who just ask "so what are you going to do to me / mess me up with"
People who expect you to provide all the mess, clothing and venue

Hasn't happened yet, but I would probably say the feeling I got from them. Do they have a grip on reality? I've hung out with several people on here already and haven't had a bad experience yet. But I'm also a guy, so there's that. We don't draw the level of creepyness that women deal with on a hourly basis.

Well I can probably tick some of the boxes already mentioned about me! I do struggle socially, I'm abysmal at small talk, my wit helps at work where I know everyone but that's not so easy in other environments.

I've largely declined any casual meet requests, generally they seem to be "I wanna be messed/mess you but can't host"
I've done quite a few group events, generally I've known at least one person there, although outside of the play, I tend to make the furniture look active! (It's best to just get me doing prep!) I was all paid up to do one of the slosh events a year or two back but conveniently had to work that day...

That said I do try to have a few sessions a year with models and it's become easier and makes financial sense for me to host. That said, the people who have joined me were already friends - or were given references without asking.

Nerves play a huge part, it doesn't help that generally speaking our kink needs specialist facilities, so it's not like there's a wam club in every city every month or so. So a quick meet and play in a communal environment just can't really happen.

Substances and actions can be hugely off-putting, the dares side of the kink generally outside of here, tends to be rather fantasist led, with things pushed to extremes while you wonder what actual experience they have.

As for regrets, answering an appeal for help with a sploshing session for a domme on fetlife that ended up using a good stash of my supplies, a full day of work and a crap view of them playing and they didn't even give me the pictures they promised...

Where to begin...

- Hastily bashed out chat with no capitals, no punctuation and not so much as a 'hi, how are you doing?' demanding to know 'so wot wud u do 2 me?' That was an actual opening message I got once.
- Messages that go straight in on what they would like to do with/to me, or comments on and assumptions about my appearance and/or gender/sexual orientation are even worse
- Not interested in discussing anything beyond WAM or giving any background information on who they are
- Generally coming across as sketchy, demanding and/or unreliable.
- Assuming wrongly that I'm just as desperately horny as they are and would drop everything to meet a complete stranger on the internet
- Wants to use a hotel when they actually could host
- Too far away
- Appearing to be somebody I'd normally socialise with. Call me a snob perhaps, but I don't drop my usual social preferences if I am going to trust another person with my private interest in WAM.
- Into completely different substances or other variables to me but hasn't bothered to look at my profile list. I am open-minded but not going to put up with one-way traffic.
- The merest hint that they are after anything sexual.

Creepiness, moving REALLY fast, and wanting to meet somewhere where I don't have a potential out.

All the shit that's turned me off when it comes to dating really.

Not wanting to talk things thru first. Let's be friendly first, then see if we can meet up. If we are in the same general area, let's have lunch or a drink first to see if we can progress. Demanding a pic. If you are looking for someone to be the victim (me) and it's rare to find someone willing to take it, but you demand pic first. Really??? Never understood that. You can have nothing or me, and some people seem to be confused on the preferable choice.

If my gut feels a threatening or shady situation then that's an automatic no-go especially if the other party is very pushy and demands anonymity before meeting in person. My main criteria for a meet is to first swap a few intelligent messages and then agree on meeting in a public place like a restaurant first for lunch or a snack to discuss things in person. I will never agree to meet at either of our places or a hotel without first getting to know you in person.

As for the hosting issues that's not a deal breaker for me because we all have different situations such as room mates who are always home or constant family around (siblings, etc) where it would make it difficult to make things private, once we are comfortable with each other then we can draw up plans to meet in a 3rd part location for actual play and split the associated costs.

Besides the other things already mentioned I would also be wary of new profiles without any information or details messaging me ( I know I need to work on mine too) and people who make constant meet agreements and then flake out. Life happens and that's no problem but if it happen like 7 times in a row then I won't really take you seriously.

I'm just getting back into the dating world after a long, unfortunate marriage. I'm still sorting out how to do it again, but I try to set up first dates somewhere very public. Hopefully I don't come across as creepy.

I've had a lady who said she would want to meet up if my gf would agree to a non sexual mess session. Later the women told me she just wanted me to tell her how I would have sex with her and she hoped I would fuck her and then have my gf come home to me cheating. She then said she wanted my gf to mess her up for having sex w me. Obviously there was no chance of me even considering meeting in person after that.

Also all the guys who message me asking me to pie them, or hint at they want me to get them messy and when I say no get angry. I've wondered if I took the messy pics of me off of that would lessen the amount it happens? Not sure why guys think I want to meet up with them?

Oh and the few times some dude says they want to fuck me gf and we should meet, I guess if my gf was open to it I'd show her the msg but she's pretty conservative.

1. No sexual attraction. While WAM isn't purely a fetish for me, the participation version of it is for me (in terms of viewing videos online, I also like the entertainment element of it)

2. Them being very rigid on clothing preferences I'm not fond of.

3. Developing a sexual fantasy that revolves around my job. If I was turned on by my job, I'd not be doing it.

4. No social skills - although it does feel difficult striking up conversations on here when often the only known mutual interest is WAM.

5. Wanting to do it in a hotel when I have a perfectly good house to host in (subject to my house being a suitable location, of course!)

6. Conversations being very one way - either me having to do all the conversation making, or everything revolving around their side of the fun.

7. Reluctance to show a face pic and/or disclose their first name.

8. Being creepy.

9. Wanting to film the occasion - although this wouldn't put me off if I felt comfortable with them and trusted them.

10. Wanting to do the WAM somewhere public. See previous point about having a house.

11. Wanting to wreck clothes (as in rip).

12. I've ran out of things for the list tbh but I felt 12 was a rounder number to post.