While I love interacting with fellow wammers here and have fun on my own, I can't help but feel like I want more. While I'm sure that everyone here would want more wam fun sometimes I wonder if I feel that 'too strong' Living with my parents means I can't have wam time all too often and the stuff I can play with are rather limited to ones with easier clean-ups and accessibility. And then coming here to watch other wammers play in some stuff that I can dream of is - of course fascinating - rather envy-inducing. And then there is me wanting to get to be closer friends with, meet or even potentially meet up with more / other wammers as well. All those seem so far away and I sometimes wonder if that would ever be possible. There are so many questions that I can have about it, but I just want to see if there are some of you who share these feelings or those who dealt with it. Wanted to vent a bit but also want to seek some advice as well. Figured it would fit better on this forum since it's more about my emotions than it is about wam.
I doubt anyone lives out their ideal Wam life, and if we got what we wanted we would probably end up wanting more. I live in my house and could do WAM everyday if I wished; I have a gunge tank, pie machine, timed-gootube...but I don't as it means nothing to do self-messing. So I have the similar issue, in that I would like to meet a splosh partner and have fun with them, not even sexual, just messy play. It's ok to want want others have, though obviously jealousy and envy don't do us any good. You just have to accept that you may not get what you want or have to do difficult things to get it. Mine is social anxiety which multiplies with travel. The only splunches near me are/were in London. The few offers I have had have been from understanding partners, it helps is they have other kinks as then they are more open to mine. There is always the paid session route (models or escorts) if things get too intense.
Oh we have a whole group for stuff like this called "Messy Minds" that you may be interested in checking out.
You're certainly not alone in this feeling. There are a LOT of people here that have these feelings because they either have a partner that doesn't want to do this with them, or they're alone, or any number of other scenarios.
I can't say I have the perfect answer for anyone because we're all different. But what I did was look back at how much time I had wasted and I made a decision to be involved. I went to meet ups, I made friends, I went to Vegas, I invested in a session or two. And these things made two very important realizations.
These things made me happy, but still left me feeling empty because I still lacked a partner that wanted to be involved.
That some of the other people that I thought were living my dream had their own shit going on and weren't necessarily as fulfilled as I had thought.
Life is complicated and full of trials, and then we die. The best thing I can say is that you look at where you are and make choices that good for you. Look for the things that will bring you some joy and meaning in life. And also remember that circumstances can change, but not if you do nothing.
I hope we're all able to find what we're looking for.
Muddylynx said: I wonder if I feel that 'too strong'
There are so many questions that I can have about it, but I just want to see if there are some of you who share these feelings or those who dealt with it.
When I was in my early 20s my WAM fetish was fairly over whelming. I got divorced and had to live with my parents again for a couple of years which was incredibly frustrating. I arranged to meet up with fellow warmers and got messy in hotel rooms. Eventually I moved in with another WAMer. I found that the more I WAMed the less over whelming my fetish was. Of course getting older made sexual desires less intense but I think exposure to my fetish really helped desensitise me. Now I live alone and own rather that rent. Like other posters I could WAM every day however I don't desire to anymore. My current partner in a non WAMer and yet I've had some of the best messy times with him rather than with fellow WAMers. Any way my advice do as much as you can, chat with people make friends discuss your fears, don't let your fetish hold you back from trying things with non WAMers and try to remember that although someone else's situation may look ideal you're only seeing a tiny part of their story.
WAM_in_Bed said: When I was in my early 20s my WAM fetish was fairly over whelming. I got divorced and had to live with my parents again for a couple of years which was incredibly frustrating. I arranged to meet up with fellow warmers and got messy in hotel rooms. Eventually I moved in with another WAMer. I found that the more I WAMed the less over whelming my fetish was. Of course getting older made sexual desires less intense but I think exposure to my fetish really helped desensitise me. Now I live alone and own rather that rent. Like other posters I could WAM every day however I don't desire to anymore. My current partner in a non WAMer and yet I've had some of the best messy times with him rather than with fellow WAMers. Any way my advice do as much as you can, chat with people make friends discuss your fears, don't let your fetish hold you back from trying things with non WAMers and try to remember that although someone else's situation may look ideal you're only seeing a tiny part of their story.
Agreed and highlighting; the chances of meeting another splosher is remote (I managed it but we did not get on as a couple), all of my other experiences have been with non-sploshers but by accepting your fetish and that people are up for all kinds of fun, opening up can sometimes allow you and a partner to have messy fun. Just got to be with the right person.
Best bet, find a 'normal' relationship and let them know your kinks early on, if they leave then they couldn't accept a fundamental part of you. If they stay then great. Worst thing you can do it keep it inside like a secret, it will eat away at you.
It's easy to feel jealous when one always wants more and sees so many amazing scenes on this site. Whenever I feel I'm missing out (I've been distancing for a freaking year now!!), I remind myself of the lovely things I've done alone and with others, and here's the best bit: Yes, it can be 'too few and far between' and I may be single, but I strongly suspect my kinks and messy experiences have made for much more interesting sensual experiences and sex than most other people I know. I assume it's probably similar for many here if you think about it.
Silver_sea said: It's ok to want want others have, though obviously jealousy and envy don't do us any good. You just have to accept that you may not get what you want or have to do difficult things to get it. Mine is social anxiety which multiplies with travel. The only splunches near me are/were in London.
Yeah, that is why I wanted to see if there was a way to stop feeling it, but I guess sometimes it's just human nature kind of stuff then. And I think I share the anxiety problem a bit too, a bit too afraid of bringing up WAM related stuff to anyone who I think I might live too close to.
Potatoman-J said: Life is complicated and full of trials, and then we die. The best thing I can say is that you look at where you are and make choices that good for you. Look for the things that will bring you some joy and meaning in life. And also remember that circumstances can change, but not if you do nothing.
I hope we're all able to find what we're looking for.
Thanks for letting me know of that group, I'll check it out. And thanks for the encouraging words. Guess I'd have to make some conscious efforts to bring about happiness and satisfaction in my life. And I hope the same for you too.
WAM_in_Bed said: Any way my advice do as much as you can, chat with people make friends discuss your fears, don't let your fetish hold you back from trying things with non WAMers and try to remember that although someone else's situation may look ideal you're only seeing a tiny part of their story.
I'm still trying to work out reducing fears here and there. I guess I'm what they'd call risk-averse and that unfortunately extends to my fetish life as well. But I know that I can at least try to over come it until it sticks with me. And I'll keep that in mind that not everything is as it seems to be
WetNikki said: I strongly suspect my kinks and messy experiences have made for much more interesting sensual experiences and sex than most other people I know. I assume it's probably similar for many here if you think about it.
I have to say that I really love the way you look at WAM fetish! And I really agree with it. Thanks for that. And though it still seems like I can have more I have to say that I did have more than the most.
Silver_sea said: Best bet, find a 'normal' relationship and let them know your kinks early on, if they leave then they couldn't accept a fundamental part of you. If they stay then great. Worst thing you can do it keep it inside like a secret, it will eat away at you.
I do have a small story about this, which may or may not have affected me. I had a gf a few years back and I opened my fetish up to her and we had a very small trial session with a tiny nutella packet. Which didn't really do all that much - both in terms of mess or persuasion so it ended with that. But then she brought it up as we were breaking up, ridiculing me of it, of how - of course sarcastically - I should find someone who will smear nutella all over herself. And I guess I've been afraid of opening up since then. How would I open up again? Or how would I feel comfortable about it, at least? Thanks for your answer though, really means a lot!
Muddylynx said: I do have a small story about this, which may or may not have affected me. I had a gf a few years back and I opened my fetish up to her and we had a very small trial session with a tiny nutella packet. Which didn't really do all that much - both in terms of mess or persuasion so it ended with that. But then she brought it up as we were breaking up, ridiculing me of it, of how - of course sarcastically - I should find someone who will smear nutella all over herself. And I guess I've been afraid of opening up since then. How would I open up again? Or how would I feel comfortable about it, at least? Thanks for your answer though, really means a lot!
Ahhh the classic "bad experience".
Realise; her actions and judgment are on her and that they say nothing about you. It probably felt bad to hear it and the fear that others might ridicule is real and understandable. But there are others that won't and some may participate or enjoy WAM with you.
It comes down to what is worse; The pain of ridicule or the pain of not being able to live your kink?
You don't know how people will react, but hopefully you can spot a good person from a judgmental one. The fear will be there, but overcoming it takes strength, but a little bit less each time. Knockbacks start to hurt less as you realise that others judgment only highlights their flaws and you start to accept you and your kink as intertwined.
When you accept that, you can brush off those that harm because you know and love who you are.
One thing for me is to to spread out doing wam so that I'm not abusing it to often but being around others helps in exploring different things. One interesting factor is that their have been times where people been able to meet at gatherings and explore things together.
Keep sharing and learning don't give up or in but look into solutions that may help at what stage your at.
Silver_sea said: Best bet, find a 'normal' relationship and let them know your kinks early on, if they leave then they couldn't accept a fundamental part of you. If they stay then great. Worst thing you can do it keep it inside like a secret, it will eat away at you.
I do have a small story about this, which may or may not have affected me. I had a gf a few years back and I opened my fetish up to her and we had a very small trial session with a tiny nutella packet. Which didn't really do all that much - both in terms of mess or persuasion so it ended with that. But then she brought it up as we were breaking up, ridiculing me of it, of how - of course sarcastically - I should find someone who will smear nutella all over herself. And I guess I've been afraid of opening up since then. How would I open up again? Or how would I feel comfortable about it, at least? Thanks for your answer though, really means a lot!
I've never found food a good way in. It messes up clothes and sheets, starts to smell and I need it in quantity to enjoy the feel. One thing that's worked every time is lube. I should have thought of it as soon as you said you lived with your parents. It really improves masturbation for both genders. Do that as part of foreplay and then enjoy the slippery sex that follows. It's not really WAM but it's a great first step. I found it a lot more satisfying than my attempts with chocolate body paint and whipped cream.
Silver_sea said: Ahhh the classic "bad experience".
Realise; her actions and judgment are on her and that they say nothing about you. It probably felt bad to hear it and the fear that others might ridicule is real and understandable. But there are others that won't and some may participate or enjoy WAM with you.
It comes down to what is worse; The pain of ridicule or the pain of not being able to live your kink?
You don't know how people will react, but hopefully you can spot a good person from a judgmental one. The fear will be there, but overcoming it takes strength, but a little bit less each time. Knockbacks start to hurt less as you realise that others judgment only highlights their flaws and you start to accept you and your kink as intertwined.
When you accept that, you can brush off those that harm because you know and love who you are.
It's a long journey but definitely worth taking.
Thank you so so much for the support you are giving me. That bad experience was my last experience so definitely need to change that. I do now realise that me and the wam side of me are intertwined and that wam might define some parts of my personality as well. But I am yet to embark on the long journey towards being comfortable about opening up about that.
Curiouspaints said: One thing for me is to to spread out doing wam so that I'm not abusing it to often but being around others helps in exploring different things. One interesting factor is that their have been times where people been able to meet at gatherings and explore things together.
Keep sharing and learning don't give up or in but look into solutions that may help at what stage your at.
That I am trying to do right now to see what works and what doesn't. But I really want to be able to go to gatherings and explore things related to wam together with others .
WAM_in_Bed said: I've never found food a good way in. It messes up clothes and sheets, starts to smell and I need it in quantity to enjoy the feel. One thing that's worked every time is lube. I should have thought of it as soon as you said you lived with your parents. It really improves masturbation for both genders. Do that as part of foreplay and then enjoy the slippery sex that follows. It's not really WAM but it's a great first step. I found it a lot more satisfying than my attempts with chocolate body paint and whipped cream.
Now I probably would've tried something like shaving foam or something. But it was at somewhere I couldn't use a shower nor could I buy something big, so it had to be that then. But I would want to try lube for once, at least for the W part of WaM. Though I'm not sure how I would explain having lube around if caught by my parents haha. Thanks though!
Silver_sea said: Best bet, find a 'normal' relationship and let them know your kinks early on, if they leave then they couldn't accept a fundamental part of you. If they stay then great. Worst thing you can do it keep it inside like a secret, it will eat away at you.
That's my plan whenever i find someone and the relationship is at a comfortable level. Just have a good sit down and discuss kinks and fetishes of both parties.