As someone who is shy and afraid of humiliation i can't help but wonder how you guys do it. What if someone you know happens to stumble onto this site, or if a reporter decides to write something about wam and uses this site in their report? I like humiliation but it terrifies me at the same. How do you cope with this?

I was featured in a popular Men's magazine in the U.K. I don't find it humiliating that I am who I am and I enjoy something unorthodox. I would find it more humiliating to have to hide under a rock.

Now I haven't been found out for doing WAM yet. But Crossdressing I sure have. Keeping that hidden away only for some asshole to out me to the world was a blow. I was humiliated and fled under a rock; but when I came out no one cared. In fact people felt sorry for me as coming out as a CD was something for me to do and not some hot head bent on revenge.


Thankfully we live in an age were people who are open minded out weigh those who are not.

Haters will hate for who you are but know that there are many more who absolutely love you

I also live in fear and hate humiliation...so I appeared on a Channel 4 TV show! Since then I have been a lot more open and found people to be non-judgmental and even curious. Anyone who takes a dislike or insults me? screw them, it's their problem.

I wouldn't worry, I think we all overplay how much people give a damn about others, most will just go "meh, whatever's good for you" and leave it at that.

The pain we inflict on ourselves to avoid pain is totally avoidable.

So no one really cared? I always imagined myself being tormented wherever I went if anyone found out. Especially if it were on tv or in a magazine.

No one cares or remembers. My friends are all supportive and new people that judge don't become friends.
We allow ourselves to be humiliated, to feel bad when others act. But if we chose not to be and accept ourselves then no one can hurt us. You can't control others action but you can control your emotions.

Heck, nobody even noticed. People have lives of their own. They don't have time to hover about to see what I'm up to.
Also, don't forget that most of us played in mud puddles when we were children and lots of people go to mud-meets where people are getting muddy and having a great time, or iron-man mud runs. Getting messy and enjoying it just isn't that unusual, and most people just don't care.
Having said all that, there will always be someone who is in the closet themselves, who will ridicule others to turn attention away from themselves. I don't let those people control my life.

/shrug I dunno, it hasn't happened yet; so I couldn't say. Also, I have no public image or worth to worry about. My family is pretty fucking vanilla and pent up so even if one did wander here, they'd never say ANYTHING. As for friends? I'm getting more and more to the point where my friends are more here and less anywhere else.

I'm quite interested in this subject. I can understand people feeling humiliated and embarrassed to admit they enjoy getting messy. I felt like that when I first started trying it out. But, as I've told more and more people, the more I realise that no one is really bothered. Sure I've had a few sniggers and some raised eyebrows, but they still see me as me.
Another reason I'm interested in this is because I perform stand up comedy, so there is that voice in the back of my head saying "what if you become a big name and people find out?". It's something I thought about during my early days but then I think about it this way.

1. I can't help what I enjoy.
2. What I do offstage is my own business.
3. I'm not doing anyone any harm.

I have recently started talking about this subject on stage and the general audience reaction is one of indifference. It could be because they think I'm making the story up just to get laughs, or they generally don't care what I get up to. AS long as I can make the audience laugh then that's my main aim.
As a PS to that previous statement. I don't shame anyone about it and the only person I mock about it is myself

As someone who is into WAM and does NOT want anyone in my professional life knowing, I've consented to doing a podcast... WAM is (while growing in popularity) still an odd enough fetish that I have been able to live with showing not only my face, but every bit of me to the people here and, on other fetish sites, without anyone knowing. It's kind of like poking a sleeping bear. It's still asleep ((so what harm will a few pokes do), but thrilling enough to get the blood pumping about revealing myself. On the off hand that someone does find out, you will probably have the same leverage in the situation that they have. They find you, so what, they have to admit that they have to resort to WAM to get their bit of joy in life. Also, people look similar enough that you can basically claim, "So that's what gets you off" and get the focus off of yourself.

Any chance you could share a link to that?

We have a general rule of thumb, if you find it, it's because you were looking for it. And if you were, and still feel like mentioning it, then by all means we can have the conversation. Domino and I are open books, and we each have friends who know. Some laugh, some ask "would they ever want to see someone like me pied?" Some shake their heads and laugh. Doesn't break our stride. Have confidence in yourself, and you can't be bothered by the world.

There was a local weekly trans/CD event at a bar that took me a couple of drivebys before I worked up the courage to go to. Part of the nightly activities was posing for glamour shots, which were posted on the group's website. The first week I attended, I didn't want to do pictures, thinking the same thing...what if someone I know sees them? By the time I went back again, my more rational mind realized that if someone went on the website and saw pictures of me, they'd be outing themselves too.

As far as if a reporter was to use an image or video of me, 1. My pictures and videos are nowhere near the quality of some of the great stuff in here that represents the community and 2. From what I've seen when it pops up as a "look at this weird stuff" in vanilla media, most respectable organizations use bars or blurring for non-consensual broadcast.

All that said, among my many bucket list items is a set up of a lost bet...that i have to go to a populated public place on a warm evening, like a river walk or city park area, and get filmed while being absolutely pummeled with pies, under the guise of paying off a bet to a distant friend.