Today I had a WAM Session planned out and was looking forward to it as been getting myself into it but as I took my preview pictures of the session before anything happened, I had a crisis in confidence and opted against getting Wet or Messy.
I am curious if I'm maybe losing the spark to do WAM as found weird put all the effort in getting an outfit and shoes, after advice from members on here and just not doing it.
Like I do want to do WAM as feels a great release at times but I genuinely don't know what happened here, any advice or suggestions be appreciated.
I found there is a massive difference between WAMing for my own pleasure and recording it for others to see. The extra effort and 'needing to get it right' and various anxieties about what others might say or if it would 'out' me etc made the whole experience fun, but not sexual.
The 3 times I have filmed something for here, each time I had doubts and thought about stopping. I have not done anything since even though I wanted to do a couple more videos.
I don't know if you are losing your spark or it might just be the situation that had that effect.
Silver_sea said: I found there is a massive difference between WAMing for my own pleasure and recording it for others to see. The extra effort and 'needing to get it right' and various anxieties about what others might say or if it would 'out' me etc made the whole experience fun, but not sexual.
The 3 times I have filmed something for here, each time I had doubts and thought about stopping. I have not done anything since even though I wanted to do a couple more videos.
I don't know if you are losing your spark or it might just be the situation that had that effect.
Definitely agree here - I have fallen into this trap recently, and it has really turned me off from doing additional sessions. Before it was fun and spontaneous, now it's about the cameras and the angles. This is mostly because it is a large investment in time, money, and effort - and I want to be able to enjoy the scene later. I also view a session as not just a sexual activity, but also a chance to create a visual of total coverage and unique textures. Several times my cameras were not set correctly and I lost the footage. The mess didn't stick just right. The tarps fell down (the worst!). This pressure to get things just right results in anxiety throughout the process and feelings of aborting the session midway through prep. Trying to move beyond this, but it is difficult.
Silver_sea said: I found there is a massive difference between WAMing for my own pleasure and recording it for others to see. The extra effort and 'needing to get it right' and various anxieties about what others might say or if it would 'out' me etc made the whole experience fun, but not sexual.
The 3 times I have filmed something for here, each time I had doubts and thought about stopping. I have not done anything since even though I wanted to do a couple more videos.
I don't know if you are losing your spark or it might just be the situation that had that effect.
I think that's what I've had I've over focused on the angles and getting stuff ready, I may have been better just doing a video on 1 device & some quick photos with the other, but even then I think I didn't do WAM to make content was a release and to have fun may have to rethink about approach.
Yes. Sometimes I get everything set up, and ready, then I hit the point of no return, and just am not feeling it any more.
Having had this in the past and pushing through it, and doing it anyway, it doesn't end up being a good session. This is more true if someone else is involved, or if I've had to travel for it.
I've learned to just stop, accept that now isn't the moment, and put things away for another time if that's possible.
i agree with all of the above. also, sometimes, it's just not the right day, you know? it's better to listen to yourself and throw in the towel, than to push it just because you went to all the trouble... and even worse to push yourself because you think you owe it to an audience. our sexualities are all fluid, they wax and wane, individual fetishes can ebb and flow or also change shapes for a while or for the long term. i would just say to love this about your sexuality, not worry that it means something's wrong or that you're losing the joy of WAM. a lot of people on this forum have "been there" at some point along the way!
dirtdirtdirt said: i agree with all of the above. also, sometimes, it's just not the right day, you know? it's better to listen to yourself and throw in the towel, than to push it just because you went to all the trouble... and even worse to push yourself because you think you owe it to an audience. our sexualities are all fluid, they wax and wane, individual fetishes can ebb and flow or also change shapes for a while or for the long term. i would just say to love this about your sexuality, not worry that it means something's wrong or that you're losing the joy of WAM. a lot of people on this forum have "been there" at some point along the way!
Without a doubt I think for me as I was planning the session with the intent to showcase in here, I've possibly lost why I wanted to get messy despite the planning.
piecub said: Yeah, just do it for your own sensual enjoyment, don't film it. Back to basics.
Cheers for that I'll consider this, maybe I just have to take a few photos & not be over prepared or something, let others see WAM for the fun that it can bring in a simple way.
I think you could try is do a smaller session don't go overboard- I often feel like sometimes we have these grand ideas that are simply not feasable, so we put this effort and then we get disappointed when the payoff is not as good as what reality is. GO small, have fun and see how you feel after.
Silver_sea said: I found there is a massive difference between WAMing for my own pleasure and recording it for others to see. The extra effort and 'needing to get it right' and various anxieties about what others might say or if it would 'out' me etc made the whole experience fun, but not sexual.
The 3 times I have filmed something for here, each time I had doubts and thought about stopping. I have not done anything since even though I wanted to do a couple more videos.
I don't know if you are losing your spark or it might just be the situation that had that effect.
Co-sign
I've struggled with doing wam for me and learning and also processing the request of others I don't find wam for others as peaceful as one someone inspires or recommends me something
Just a few thoughts being a fellow CD who doesn't get messy anymore. Perhaps the clear up is such a drag that it takes away the maximum enjoyment you could initially feel. I used to love getting messy but for that moment of orgasm you sure do pay for it after... However more importantly for a CD maybe your being dressed and dare I say covered in femme is more dominant than your messy desire. It is possible to have exhausted your WAM fetish whereas dressing has so many levels to explore for you, ranging from dressing, going full make up and getting out in public... Don't get me wrong I still love seeing others messy but dressing fully trumps that and is a greater need nowadays. Whatever your mental block today, you are still very lucky to be blessed by either fetish desires which to have experience and quell a desire for is just such a wonderful stimulant. Try not over think it too much and just enjoy what your body and mind tell you to follow. Xx
one other idea, thinking about pictures and video, is that sometimes for me it might also relate to how i'm feeling about my body, or how i'm feeling about pictures of myself in general. which for me can come and go in phases too. so like maybe sometimes WAM and other kinks can have the added appeal of, sometimes it's nice to get a break from thinking about my body or how i look right now ---- i'm slimed, i'm covered in filth, of course i'm not having a good hair day! but since i'm trying to get out of being self-conscious, maybe i shouldn't actually do the old cameras and tripods and lights routine. and instead focus on how WAM helps me get to that nice slopped up place where i'm not being so hard on myself or whatever.
BUT... there are also lots of other times, like when WAMming helps me get into liking my body and feeling very connected TO my body, it's sensual, it's joyous, it's sloppy and silly, and sexy. OR, because kinks are all contradictory and complicated, sometimes, because i want to feel extra degraded/filthy/humiliated, then i love knowing there will be photos of me looking filthy and ridiculous. and if i'm in one of THOSE zones, knowing i'm taking pictures can make it all extra hot, extra fun.
and there's maybe even an in-between zone where just having a full length mirror across from me, and no camera, is the right amount of "seeing" myself. i probably should consider trying some play sessions for myself where i DON'T take pictures, just to see how it feels, and remind myself that i don't HAVE to include taking photos just because i'm going to the trouble of getting messy, which is not something i get to these days nearly as often as i have at other points in my journey. anyway --- point is, there's no one "right" way to WAM or to experience it either sexually or emotionally. so just remember to go easy on yourself.
StephanieCD said: Just a few thoughts being a fellow CD who doesn't get messy anymore. Perhaps the clear up is such a drag that it takes away the maximum enjoyment you could initially feel. I used to love getting messy but for that moment of orgasm you sure do pay for it after... However more importantly for a CD maybe your being dressed and dare I say covered in femme is more dominant than your messy desire. It is possible to have exhausted your WAM fetish whereas dressing has so many levels to explore for you, ranging from dressing, going full make up and getting out in public... Don't get me wrong I still love seeing others messy but dressing fully trumps that and is a greater need nowadays. Whatever your mental block today, you are still very lucky to be blessed by either fetish desires which to have experience and quell a desire for is just such a wonderful stimulant. Try not over think it too much and just enjoy what your body and mind tell you to follow. Xx
Thanks for this a lot of useful information to keep in mind, I think I was overthinking the content aspect like photo & video plus I was concerned about initially getting my heels wet and messy but deciding just go for it. To when I took the initial preview shots of me clean I was overthinking it when in reality I should have just got all messy take some photos & say a video of it, then do same again for when in the shower cleaning up. I think if overcome the initial overthinking I should be alright as I feel like I need the release & I'll enjoy getting wet and messy in a nice outfit and heels.
I don't have a good camera setup, so I completely understand how all that setup takes away from the enjoyment of a session. I've had some pretty great sessions where I just watched myself get messy in the mirror - oh yeah! Also, some of my favorite videos are the imperfect ones where something goes wrong (just like real life)! It's easier to imagine myself in those videos.
I know the feeling wellI've got myself psyched up, run a bath, got everything opened but when it came to actually getting in I couldn't go through with it;
I find the best thing is just to act spontaneously when you get the urge, that's when you have the best sessions
Just wanted to bring this up as planned a WAM Session for this week, had a possibility last week but had something to plan for on the same day so for time commitment didn't want to hamper either & wanted full focus.
My plan of action is doing the session I was initially planning to do so will have a small collection of photos for the messy part, I may have for the wet part too but aim to mostly video it but I'm trying to not over think it.
Just want to imagine that I'm not filming myself as it were but I'm getting all messy in a nice outfit & even getting the heels messy for this as thought deserve some treatment too then film having a quick shower.
Think as I want that release as it were of a WAM Session all dressed up is what I need as been speaking to a few producers who offer private sessions & looking at that for after the year to enjoy as an experience.
But thought important just to bring this up incase anyone else has felt the same at all. If all goes well I'll get the photos & videos up of the session.
8/21/23, 9:25pm: This post won't bump the thread to the top.