Well after much badgering the Wife finally succumbed and allowed me to Gunge her. We soon found out that different people have a different interpretation of a Gunging. Her interpretation of a Gunging: half a dozen custard pies (that’s what she thought). My interpretation of a Gunging: Two king size trifles, 2 litres of chocolate sauce, 6 litres of custard, 6 litres of chocolate cake mix, 4 litres of pasta sauce, 4 litres of extra thick creamy pasta bake sauce, 2 litres of thick gravy, 7 litres of black treacle and 10 litres of extra thick porridge. One great trick I discovered is that if you mix 2 litres of black treacle into 10 litres of thick porridge you get an awesome lumpy, sticky brown gloop that just clings to the skin. I laid all the containers out on the bathroom floor and covered them with black bin bags so she didn’t know what was coming. Although when my petite, gorgeous Wife with her short blonde hair entered the bathroom in just her tiny g-string the smile on her face dropped a little when she eyed the vast expanse of black bin bags with suspicion. We got her comfortable in the bath and I hit her full in the face with a trifle. The intention was that the creamy mess would prevent her from opening her eyes and seeing me unveil the vast expanse of mucky mess and mayhem she was about to endure. Next thing up was a dousing of custard followed by pasta sauce, treacle, white pasta bake, gravy, a couple of litres of chocolate cake mix then a couple of litres of gloopy brown porridge. I then continued to subject my poor darling to several rounds of the above until all the base ingredients we gone and she was sitting in a 200mm deep swamp of mess. All this time between spluttering gasps of breath all she could mutter was YUK, YUK over and over again . As the last few drops dribbled over her head the poor thing made the mistake of getting a little cocky and said “is that it”. Ohh no my dear that’s not it – pause for evil laugh. Believe it or not she still had a couple of patches of bare skin visible, although not for long. I then proceeded to fill the 12 litre receptacle with the disgusting mess in the bath and poured that lot over her head and body, repeat 6 more times just to ensure the cockiness was gone. I can guarantee she was the messiest chick in Kent at this stage. The only trouble was by the time I had got to the end of round one my hands were too gloopy to hold the camera so I only got a dozen shots of the beginning of the session. When I explained this to my Wife she said “oh well next time you will have to film it so you don’t have to hold the camera”. EH NEXT TIME1 – oh my god what a Babe I have included a photo of the results taken after just round one.
Love you, too
Love it!
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