Sometimes I hate that i have this kink or fetish because of the behaviour of other wammers, we all.know that women here have a hard time. Someone i wam with regularly won't come on the site now because of the behaviour and messages she was getting. She creates content and is across a number of kinks, so before we go down thats just the internet,.parr of it is that but in her opinion wammers are way way worse than others.

This is not the only reason I writing this though I have seen behaviour this week that has sickened me. On Tiktok you have Jake suggesting a gunge vote between a woman and her child, search his name and he is hounding hundreds of women to get gunge or pied or both in jeans. You have Anthony, listers mate on here with vids where he has asked blaly under aged women to pie themselves and is now kink projecting with AI videos.

But these are just randoms on the internet ok lets look at a producer who has put out a casting call for people aged 16 up ..... 16!!! But its just a fun gunge game just fun but of course.to be considered you must either be 2 girls or 1 girl 1 boy. This same producer has also had a vid on socials.of him gunging a friends teen daughter!

So the question is why are wammers like this and so much worse than other kinks.

To keep.this on topic and in the busy messy forum not swept away in the depths somewhere. Here is a pie recipe for an ultra thick choc pie.

500grams of chocolate frosting

250grams of icing sugar

2 tablespoons of Sosa Emulsifier

250ml of Lemonade or other full sugar soda

Mix for 10 minutes or as long as needed to get a thick smooth cream.

All the approx 3 litres of mixture into a foil pie tin

I have been doing my own box in over whether I'm messaging soomeone too much only to have a message along the lines of "Oh np, chat on here is so broken " Look, I know this site is a passion project for MM but for a point of having a quick natter with someone, chat here is randomly borked. If you want it to work you need the correct browser, time of day, Mercury rising in the house of Sagittarius and to say three Hail Marys to the ghost of Bill Shipton.

Eww that guy on TikTok sounds more disgusting than NastyGunge's session shopping list.

Can confirm, that recipe is good if you want sticky pies with great coverage. Click my profile pic.

I had the same conversation with a few people recently . As far as ethics go among the various facets of the kink scene , we seem to be the least mindful in the wam world and I just dont know why. So many ppl trying to involve minors, trick ppl into wam under the guise of charity or slapstick fun etc. YOU NEED TO GET CONSENT TO INVOLVE PPL IN UR KINK NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. I have called out ppl before but got exhausted by it and have stopped because people just don't care. You'll remember the thread where a parent was asking how others get privacy from their kids for wam and a user on here said they should just involve the kids..that user still remained on the site after mods took a look. Or the other guy who posted pics outside a supermarket getting 'pied for charity ' , restrained with bondage furniture (just reposted them cropped after I made a fuss) .... the thread about hosting public events with church groups etc...I could go on and on.

I am also baffled as to why can't so many people see the issue of making fetish content with ppl under 18? So what if there's no sex, some one is fapping to it. There's plenty of non wam bondage content without sex, do we excuse that with minors? No we dont ?!

I despair . I feel like I have been so so lucky having met and gotten messy with a very small number of ppl that I met online because what I generally see online and the stories other ppl tell me are so off putting. Now I have met a small bunch, I dont need to go through the stress of finding more ppl. On that note - thanks for being so 'normal' and never making me feel unsafe, never put me at risk and consistently being an excellent human to get messy with and to know .

I will preface all comments by saying that NONE of this is an excuse for the poor behavior many display!!

I think a big "problem" with WAM or Sploshing as a kink is that, unlike some other kinks and fetishes that are more "mainstream", there is a version of the actions that are purely innocent. I grew up in the era where a kid's TV channel in the US that prominently featured the color orange (trying to avoid breaking terms and conditions) would routinely use pies and slime as pranks (though the stories that came to light about some of the execs over the last few years might give me some cause to reconsider the motives tbh.) In general, pies in the face, buckets of slime, and food-related messes can all reasonably viewed as just pranks or silly fun to a lot of people. Some people outside of the fetish community I have spoken with have no idea that WAM was even a fetish people had and even a lot of people I have spoken to over on FetLife don't really have any idea about the fetish or kink aspects of WAM (though they typically can understand it rather quickly.)

WAM is definitely NOT the only fetish or kink with an innocent companion action per se, but I wonder if the fact that food messes or pies and such are thought of more as funny or silly in the general population than kink that it contributes to the issue somehow. Not sure if there maybe being less eyeballs on this corner of the fetish world gives people more confidence to be louder about those thoughts or if it even factors in at all.

On the topic of that pie recipe, it looks amazing! I wish it wasn't as difficult to get that emulsifier over in the US.

I dont think the the number of messages is the issue unless they are unawnsered obviously and having spoken with you a few times i am sure they are nice messages hi how are you, would you like to chat etc. Not opening overly sexual messages like i would love to do x y z with you, or do you want to see my privates covered in nutella. The very fact you thought to check yourself.is a green flag.

I mean just look at the comments made on pictures here then imagine what the in box.is like. Better still ask a female.friend on here if you can see.theirs, ot will.open your eyes.

Also well.done on trying the recipe,.glad.you had fun.

This is true and gives us a whole new problem, people who do an innocent charity event (not the blatant wammers using it as an excuse to endulge in their kink with no consent.) or a.play where someone gets pied or being at a mexican for their birthday, then find their vids given odd comments and that vid is shared on fetish sites or even porn sites.

I cant believe we are allowed to share these vids on here without consent from the op purely.because if we didnt it would so dramatically reduce the content.on here. Maybe if we stopped.pirating and sharing videos and more importantly wasn't so toxic as a community that models and content creators dont need to take.long or permanent mental health breaks.from here because of the messages.or.because someone has sent them a pic of them pleasuring them selves on a video still or made.a creepy AI deepfake of the person and now wants them to act it out. Just a few examples I am sure there are more and remember this is often the first message.

On topic thank you try SP Emulsifier get the paste, its from Thailand but looks to be available on Ebay

Here's a theory:

A large number of male wammers love to see a woman humiliated. The purpose of wam is just the method of humiliation.

A smaller number (such as myself) see wam as a sensual thing, the desire to either see videos of women enjoying it sensuously, or the desire to find an actual real-life wam partner to enjoy the shared experience with.

So if the majority of men want to humiliate women, could it be that the attitude behind that could be carried over into a lack of respect and common decency in the way they see women in general? Could that be why so many male wammers treat the women they encounter in a disrespectful, humiliating manner?

Of course I'm not putting down all male wammers but I see a connection through the desire to humiliate.

Honestly I think this is true for many. It's why I don't reply to grimm DMs anymore because I know pushing back or telling them off is part of what they want, they get a kick out of it ... but there's also the internal struggle of 'If I don't say something they'll do this to other women' .

Can confirm, BlueMeanie is very pleasant to chat with- knows how to be silly and cheeky on the right side of the line.

This is it. The problem is wammers exploit the the innocence of people outside of the scene and its so wrong - its not consent . Consenting to filming being gunged without the contect of 'this is fetish content by the way' is deceptive and creeping. It's predatory.

It's a valid theory this should only be done after consent though not a given because this is a fetish site. It is but consent is still key and a first message being I get off seeing your pics because of this and I imagine doing this to you should not be a first message.

Do we need a more zero tolerance approach as Violet said she reported various things and was met with excuses not action. For example someone suggesting a couple get there kids involved in their wam play was not banned because they said teen kids so could have been 18, so just incest not underage although probably was. Surely that should just be ban, maybe the person buys a lot of clips? The person blatantly tricking the public into wamming them outside a supermarket during the day at the least in front of kids even if not involving them - dressed in full drag in a fetish restraining chair. Crop it a bit and the pic can stay, so can you. The delay on a decision over the Mostwam situation (this lost us some great creators and members who no longer felt safe). Do I think this had a financial reason for the delay, who knows. Yet there have been people banned for less.

The fact if someone gets pied in a restaurant we can share that here with them having no knowledge. Got pied on your birthday put it on YouTube now you are on fetish and porn sites, her come the creeps . Did you enjoy it, next time wear this, would you like me to x y z you next time and they are the public ones.

It saddens me what is allowed and people get away with. I have been here a long time and it used to be little things, producers allowed to break rules about re posting the same ad because because. People being reported as unsafe and abusing powers being allowed to stay a mod. People selling without the site getting a cut though gone in minutes.

I do think the site is dying off and things like rules saying so long as the person is agreeing to be messy you can share the vid from pg sites to a fetish site being used because if not content on the site would be minimal. Don't get me wrong great pie scene on this tv program etc fair but the person who agreed to be pied for their sorority or thought getting pied on their birthday was funny and put it on YouTube is very different to agreeing to be on a fetish site. Look how many post it and go don't be weird and scare them off though guys.

If we had a zero tolerance of the creeps and listened more to the women on here. Look how many times people like Bratty and Violet called it out and gave up. Maybe just maybe this forum could be fun again and less like lord of the flies fighting over a conch.

I think that this is the unfortunate truth. For me the fetish is a mixture of both, with the giving and receving of the humiliation aspect being the primary one I enjoy and the sensory and sensual experience being secondary. This isn't a bad thing. Humiliation is a pretty natural fetish in the scheme of things and factors into many BDSM-adjacent kinks.

The issue is when people cross the line from enjoying content produced for this or engaging in it with informed and consenting partners to instead actively trying to force it on unwitting and unconsenting individuals. Some people don't even acknowledge the line due to their experience seeing people experience it in a non-fetish context.

To that end, the very knowledge that the intended target is even *reading* the message is probably enough. The secondary (and likely ultimate goal) is that after asking 500 separate people to do something they want, they may eventually find someone who actually does it.

As for the underage thing, it's unfortunate that a lot of WAM-related content that aired as we were growing up involved children and families. This undeniably influenced many of us and while most of us can move past it to exclusively content relating to adults, it seems some people struggle with this.

[Emulsifier: You should be able to use any sort of emulsifier for this. The Sosa one is primarily Xantham Gum, which has plenty of equivalent US brands which will function similarly.]

Is that "Ultra Thick Chocolate Pie" meant for eating or throwing? Because mm boy, I can't imagine anything more refreshing to have in your eyes than 250 ML OF LEMONADE.

I thought that to but it doesn't sting at all you can use any full fat soda though Dr Pepper etc

I think this site is frustrating and creepy as far as community ethics go, but I always appreciate a thread like this. There's layers to this, but it's stunned me that the consent practice and culture of this site has been so publicly bad, and I think it's only persisted because of the unique niche of this set of kinks.

I also think this site's relationship to pedophilic tendencies and youth exploitation doesn't get discussed nearly enough. Even where someone isn't underage, the amount of content that advertises 'teen/barely legal' marketing has never sat right with me even when engaging with it and is something that's compounded with the amount of actual underage stuff that apparently gets shared here from social media or YouTube. I remember a thread a few years ago that tried to address this and the OP got accused of being a prude and clutching pearls by producers, so there's a lot of deep roots impeding our ethical growth in how we as a community engage with shut, because that should have been a conversation that could be had.

I also think this isn't the most publicly queer/trans/nonbinary friendly place in its architecture. The whole space feels really centered around predominantly white men (I'm black, amab, but a transnonbinary femme). I feel invisible here and strangely like a commodity when I see how black people, specifically black women are talked about-not maliciously, but often like a product first and foremost...but that's also just how women are spoken about round here in general...

Umd definitely feels weird as hell to navigate.

I would just like to note that anything containing anyone underaged in any capacity is strictly against the ToS for UMD and should be reported so that it can be taken down. Generally the moderators are pretty effective at doing this here.

They are but as said above a member that suggested it was not banned and I am talking about wammers not UMD so the producer advertising for 16 year old must be at least 1 girl teams to play gunge games is very much a wammer. The people like listers mate asking under age girls to pie themselves on tik tok or kids to pie their mums then pinning these like achievements are wammers.

Then we look past under age and look at age appropriate and the messages I mentioned earlier sent as opening convo from 60 to 70 year old men to just 20 year olds is crazy.

It's the WAM community as a whole in my opinion not just UMD. I have said I do have some issues like the video sharing etc.


I agree on safe space to the options are man woman trans that's it. Now there is also the separate issue of Men pretending to be women like Kelsie who did it to trick models she would be called away but the boyfriend would do the shoot. There are definitely some more on here at the moment to men and women generally write and behave very differently. These just do it from a fantasy point of view or to get close to models like one recently that was obsessed with Penelope.

I am a straight white male and if I feel this I can only pretend to understand what it's like for others. This is why I do my bit by calling it out and trying to open conversation. As I said Bratty was great and would tell people as it is but was ignored too often.


Your last point I hadn't really thought about but yes very often it's Ebony model xyz but the same is rarely done for Asian or Latino and never done for white.


Interesting thanks for your input

This is an byproduct of this being a fetish-based forum. Sexualized content inherently objectifies people as sex-objects and less as people. It's also not a bad thing if people are selling content for that purpose. That's consent on their part and them playing a specific role in a specific context.

Again, there's obviously a line here as well. The issue which commonly happens is people begin objectifying *anyone* who fits their desired mold instead of those who are actively exhibit consent to it. It's also crossed when they can't stop objectifying models when they're not acting in that capacity.

This is bad in my opinion do you get what you are.saying implying here. Lets forget the OP was specifically talking about black models but taking that out its a dangerous stance.

So someone finds a video of someone on youtube out with friends getting pied at a restaurant on their birthday because they found it funny and shared the created content they have given consent to being objectified?I

A content creator should always be treated as a person so should models. They are not objects. What they have done is given the choice to buy and enjoy there content nothing more nothing less.

If they share a.pic saying do you like my tits by all.means respond, if they post a pic messy just existing then commenting i want to do xyz to you and you do xyz to me is probably not.

You are also suggesting a two or even three teir way of treating people

Content creators and models earn money so auto consent to creepy comments and messages.

Does this mean someone who posts the same but does not sell deserves some but not as many

And someone with female.on their profile should get none or is the amount set by how much they interact.

Also when is a model not a model a profile on here is ok to do it but their profile on other sites is not.

Consent is easy, you have it or you don't only the people involved can give it they can only give it if they know whats going on, (which is the issue with wammers getting pied etc for charity etc by people who dont know its a kink is wrong), it can be removed at any time just because and no is a full sentence.

Try the recipe. I promise they're perfect and dont burn or sting because of the lemonade

THIS. I am on clip selling sites doing all sorts of things. I knkw what People do with my videos and that's ofc fine. What I don't consent to is DMs trying to role play or have sexual conversations . The clips are there. Enjoy them.or dont, but leave me in peace and message a swer who cams.or offers txt based services - hope this makes sense .

*edit - I am trying to say that selling clips is a TRANSACTION, not any kind of relationship or consent to recieve nsfw DMs. I dont want to hear anyone's unsolicited fantasy

I think a couple of things:

A) this is a niche; niche enough that there's neither a vast community (consistently), and not varied enough where you get a TON of nuance and division across the spectrum. A lot of visitors (men) want to see very specific things, and are dogged/insistent/one-track about that thing. As someone else mentioned (smartly), the fact that so much of WAM is borne of either innocence/playfulness, or opposingly a sense of pushing against the grain of what is expected in a world or an age of innocence, playfulness, etc. (meaning, they need/want to see: punishment, degradation, control, submission, or some variation/mix thereof in order for it to be satisfying) -- these things I'd bet cover a huge amount of the people who come to UMD, and two of the biggest divisions/sides to fall on re: WAM and the UMD. So, just from an optics standpoint -- if there are creeps, and let's face it in a world of nudity, fetish, porn, sexual material etc there are going to be a lot of creeps, those creeps are going to be pretty visible. And aggressive. And/or sneaky, surreptitious. They're gonna push, they're gonna take more than give, theyr'e gonna want and share/post things free, illegally. And so on. Just lots of creeps, takers, fun-ruiners, rule-breakers, social construct ignorers, whatever you want to call 'em. Like many (most?) things in this life, they are the people who in some way are the most aggressive, "speak the loudest" (even if it's in the background, meaning underhanded and creepy vs right out in the open), and are the "bad apples that ruin it for the rest of us". The wider the internet gets, the more such people are allowed to operate in a wide-ranging variety of creepy, underhanded, dispiriting, unsettling, insidious ways. They never stop. (Do scammers ever stop? do h@ckers? no; they never take a day off/stop trying.) I feel like it's rare that a lesson is ever learned by those sorts of folks; they'll just keep trying, switching up their game/approach maybe, but often in worse ways because of the evolution of technology, access, a general feeling that there are no rules or boundaries anymore, etc etc. They just are always there, they're always visible, they will never stop/quit (or if they do, more will sprout up in their place, like weeds, grifter politicians, or wet Mogwai).

B) I personally don't think the aggregate is any worse than any other fetish, porn, adult, what-have-you site. Certainly that I've ever visited in the 30-odd years (ay yi yi...) that I've been consuming, searching, buying, renting, looking at adult material. I mean, throw a rock into any sex/fetish/porn sharing service, community, even specific OF model sites -- there's always at least a few rowdy, rude, pushy, mean, crude, freeloading, racist, sexist, deeply disturbing/depressing comments and questions. Always. And, tipping back toward "A", it depends on the depth, the width, the breadth of the topic, the site, etc. re: how many creeps and d-bags and thieves there are. I've seen people ask and say things that caused me to have deep questions about human psychology and why people are who they are, and even if it's an "act" or a "front", a false bravado bc they can do or say things from behind a keyboard they mind not ask or say or do in actual real life, there's shit that will make your stomach turn, your faith in humankind falter or shrivel. Like, real creepy shit, disturbing, sad, "Were you raised by a mother or by the devil themselves?" shit. And while there have been some definite losers, creeps, destroyers-of-fun, chasers-off-of-female-WAMmers who just cannot help themselves, going back to the late 90s when I started coming here... I still don't think the ratio is any worse, and frankly not anywhere near, what it is in the free-floating chaos that is the larger internet universe beyond these WAM walls.

I really do miss some of the ladies, though. Like Cream Me, for example; just sad the way women are made time and time again to feel deeply uncomfortable, unsafe, unloved, unhuman by a segment of the male population.

You have to have thicker and thicker skin to put yourself out there emotionally, physically, optimistically, in an even moderately friendly/welcoming way, in 2026 and there's too much evidence that the shit-starters, the fun-ruiners, the absolute dirtbag creeps, the harmful, the thieves -- the reward often seems like it's increasingly small for the increasingly greater risk it involves.

None of this makes me happy to say/admit.

JY

More communities, fetish and non-fetish, need to adopt a "don't tap the glass" mindset. This is true of professional fetish models, but especially of people outside of the fetish. I get really grossed out seeing random pie in the face videos from random non-pornagraphic sources ending up on legitimate porn websites. It's so violating. Imagine filming a fun video with your family or friends and seeing it end up on a porn website. It's a violation of consent imo. If you watch professionally-made fetish content that you liked, I think it's acceptable to publically say you liked it and for what reasons with respect, but if they are not in the industry/community, you should not be commenting on their videos. I think we need a greater amount of discourse on this topic, as I've seen way too many women come and go in this community because some people can't help but treat them as objects. Ik now that the brain doesn't work the same when you're horny, but perhaps develop a policy of not posting comments or DMing in that state.

You completely misread what I said and are misrepresenting it. Objectification is fine *in the context of a producer made clip* where the model is performing a role intentionally for the pleasure of the audience. You bought that clip to enjoy it and you're going to objectify the model in it *while enjoying the clip*.

As I said, the line is crossed when they are *not* acting in a clip and people still objectify them and send them crude messages. This is inappropriate since they are no longer in a consenting context.

As I said in my earlier comment, the line is also crossed when the person *isn't* a model actively consenting for their material to be used in that way (like anyone not making fetish material) and people reach out to them.

The gist is you treat everyone respectfully unless they say otherwise. If they're consenting to be objectified in a specific context, objectify away in that context. Otherwise, if they're not actively consenting, don't.

I'm talking about 18+, still legal but advertised as a huge selling point. It is a culturally squik point of things and not exclusive to this site, but I've seen past discussions around this asking to interrogate the necessity to advertise this way fall dead in the water, and when squared with everything else...it's not flattering.

That said, yes of course report anything involving actual minors in a damn heartbeat!

I think this is why people (including me) are being really specific about how people relate to their consumption in this thread. A lot of users on this forum don't seem to be able to regulate that separation, or more likely just don't care to. It's somehow not a baseline practice for folks to *ask* if they can slide into dirty talk, even if it seems that it should be, and there's plenty of ways to frame one's appreciation of another's content that respects their humanity.

You raise a really good point here, I can't remember where but I heard or read before pursuing someone imagine you both on a movie poster, what kind of movie is it. Quite often you see people of very senior years commenting very explicit things on young 20 ish year olds pics or profiles, so again god knows what they DM. Like a post I saw recently with a 60 plus year old asking to meet 18 plus to pie him. Legal yes but moral?