The greatest intergalactic saga of all time. Now with 75% more pies.

https://slapstickstuff.com/SWTrailer.mp4

Not gonna lie. THIS was a big deal at the time. I remember thinking, "If we do this right, it's basically the SAW parody but with a much broader appeal." And.... that's mostly what happened. Back in the glory days of the UMD (2009!), you could catch fire with a scene and people would talk about it for weeks.... And yes, I know, more producers/more choices, etc. But it was kinda nice to spend a looong time on something (I definitely spent weeks putting this together, mostly cuz I didn't know what I was doing) and have it really resonate, instead of sliding down the main page after a couple days.

ANYWAY. I watched it again in doing this, and it still holds up! The pies, the humor, even the effects! (The green screen isn't super smooth, but hey, 2009.) And aside from being a Leia with a strong Southern accent, Liz absolutely nails it... or rather, GETS nailed. Would she prob get more naked now? Yes, but again, 2009.
She also stuck around to shoot a second scene (helpfully called "Not The Star Wars Skit") where she gets properly destroyed with slime, which we just did as a side thing because both me (and models in general) seemed to have more energy & time back then!

So yes. A moment in SS history. If you've never seen it before, now's the time! Upgraded to higher quality MP4 for Vidown, UMD, and streaming! RAW clips too!

I also went all-out with the DVD (again, 2009) and the webpage, if you feel like reliving some nostalgia:
https://slapstickstuff.com/SW.htm

One of the last times I posted the full script! I guess I assumed (correctly) that no producer would steal this one.
I also used to blog about shoots back then, so here's my original long-winded post for those who care. The backstory of how Elizabeth (accidentally) inspired this whole thing is pretty, pretty good.


THE STAR WARS SHOOT: Behind The Scenes

Inspiration comes from funny places. Most of my scripts originate from pop culture moments, touchstone movies, or seminal characters from television and cinema. Some are homages to the comedy and variety shows of my youth. Some bear a debt to early physical humor (slapstick, anyone?), and some of the best are full-on collaborations, playing up an aspect of the actress' own personality to humorous effect.

This particular skit, on the other hand, was completely inspired by one ridiculously hot costume.

Yes, I'm talking about the infamous "slave girl bikini." The stuff of fanboy legend and nerd fantasy. And it was worn (in full public view, no less!) by our old friend Elizabeth a couple weeks back, when she was manning a booth at a local "bartender's ball" event. My semi-drunken pitch to her basically went along the lines of, "You have to shoot with us again, and you have to wear that outfit." Ladies and gentlemen, this is how history gets made.

Everything happened very quickly after that. In fact, it was barely a week from the time Elizabeth signed on to the time I finished the final edit. That means two days of writing and setup, one day to shoot, followed by non-stop hours with the video editor. Inspiration! Right away, I decided this would be quite different from SlapstickStuff's earlier "big production" shoots, like the Saw and Pulp Fiction parodies. Those were specifically designed to be geared for the mainstream, toning down all the "messy stuff" so as not to overwhelm the general public viewing them for free on YouTube.

Not this time. When a model is fully prepared to be half-naked and shackled on camera for 45 minutes, you seize the moment. We're talking 25 pies Cool Whip, pudding, chocolate, shaving cream, real crusts Thrown, smushed, and self-applied. We're talking green slime (in a gag I particular enjoy). We're talking frequent waterings, particularly in the "chest" area. We're talking blindfolds and bondage. And did I mention the slave-girl bikini?

I'll be the first to admit Elizabeth looks nothing like Carrie Fisher. So we didn't even try Sorry, hair braid fans. On the other hand, Liz does possess certain "assets" Miss Fisher never dreamed about. (Exchange of the day: "I think that'll work." "If not, I'm sure my titties will sell.") And while she's not a horrible actress, she definitely stumbled over some of the "geekier" lines before getting them right. (Natalie Portman, I have a newfound respect for your wooden acting.) But you couldn't ask for a more enthusiastic girl to take pie after pie for nearly an hour without a single complaint. It was a darn shame to leave so many of her after-the-pie ad-libs on the cutting room floor in the final edit. Fortunately, that's what outtakes are for!

And speaking of outtakes I know some of you just want the highlights, and some want every last detail. We tried to accommodate both. The final scene, tightly edited and all green screen, will probably send many of you perusing the 16 minutes of "Main Clip Outtakes" for aftermath of your favorite pie hits. For those seeking more, the RAW Bar DL Store has nearly 80 minutes of "uncut footage" from the closeup and medium angles, perfect if you want extended aftermath and cleanup of each sequence. And finally, 42 minutes of "behind the scenes footage" moves from makeup to set and basically puts you in the room for the whole shoot plus you get to see Liz's legs. Whew!

I hope all of you enjoy this shoot as much as I did. I honestly haven't been this excited about putting something together since the Saw parody from a few years back, and on my ever-changing list of "Proudest SlapstickStuff Moments," I'd probably place the finished product at the very top. As a kid, one of my first cinematic memories was standing in line on a Saturday afternoon to see Return Of The Jedi on the big screen. Now, I get to relive that feeling by making my own super-messy homage, complete with tons of Star Wars in-jokes, a John Williams score, and Boba Fett! Have fun with my geeky dream, and may the Force be with you always.

Well, I rephrased it cuz I guess it was open to misinterpretation?
Rest assured I have NEVER treated models badly.... although I can tell you horror stories of plenty of others. (Not here.) It was just a different era. Back then I would book a model and we'd shoot 3-5 scenes in one session. Quick turnaround, very efficient, everyone energetic. (Also the scenes were shorter, which helped.) That hasn't happened in YEARS. And some of that is me slowing down... But also models in general started booking shorter time windows, and not really wanting to take more than 2 showers in one shoot. Just a general shift across the board.

As for 2009 itself, well.... Gas and food prices were about 50% of what they are now. There was no IG or OnlyFans. Pretty sure Liz got $200 and that was about the going rate at the time. No way was I "taking advantage" of her. Now, if a producer is STILL paying his models $200 to get super messy, plus naked and hogtied or HGD'ed, then yes. That WOULD be taking advantage of models in 2025. But in 2009, Liz got $200 for 2 scenes that took about 2 hours to shoot and loved every second.

[Wish I'd been able to bring her back! She got married soon thereafter and had a kid, story of most of my models from that era....]

That's what I assumed you were trying to say it just came off so weird to me that I had to say something.

Anyway a great retrospective, thanks for posting.

Thank you! Sorry if I came off a bit cross.

I know people are bored of the "good ol' days" rant, but it WAS a lot less expensive to do WAM shoots 15 years ago, and much easier to find models too. If I was starting now, I doubt I could shoot as often as I did back then (or turn a profit!).

It was also less expensive to be a WAMmer (cue rant about the much-missed Sara Lee Outlet stores with their monthly 99-cent pie sales, making it possible to have a truly spectacular messy session for under $50...).

Finally, the 3 big Parodies of the Standard Era (Star Wars, Pulp Fiction and Saw) have been remastered!

Yes, it seems that 2005 was a perfect time to start your WAM career, Rich

Ah, I only caught the tail end of the Sara Lee pies, and they were always a bit hit-or-miss in terms of coverage. But yeah, $2.50 for a "bakery pie" was no joke.
Of course, I could get crusts for $1 each (the good Keebler ones I still use) and I did a ton of SC pies, where one can cost $1 and would make 3-4 pies easy. I don't even wanna do the math on how much each pie costs me now!