This train of thought was set off by Jayce's hilarious tale of a disastrous gummi bears session in the "I love seeing couples who WAM together" thread below. Perhaps we could all learn a little from each others mistakes here, whether they're amusing tales, or simply things that seemed a good idea in theory but just didn't work in practice.
A couple of simple things are substances that seemed like they'd be fun but actually weren't. Black treacle was our worst, and possibly the only time we've ended up completely aborting a WAM session - small quantities do indeed look good, but are painfully sticky - I mean really painfully! I've since learnt that large quantities become more slippery, but I didn't know that at the time! Ketchup and mayonnaise were also a disappointment - not only were we both almost gagging at the smell (probably not helped by the bottle of French dressing I used to start with!) but they virtually disappear once you start smearing them over skin - paint is much more visually effective and smells a whole lot better too!
Then there was the time I thought it would be fun to cover my wife in mud at the nearby estuary, then have her put her clothes on over her muddy body for the short drive home, after which I'd strip her off and we'd have fantastic sex. Well, this all went well to begin with. Smearing handfuls of mud over her body was great fun for both of us, and, having avoided her face, with clothes and wellies on she looked surprisingly normal for the short walk back to the car, not that there was anyone around anyway. The trouble started while we were driving back. "This mud feels a bit odd against my skin", she said. A minute later, "I'm sure I can feel something moving". Half a minute after that "Urgh, I can, there are creatures wriggling about under my clothes! Get me home!!". We pulled up at home and she was stripping off the moment she was out the car, dusting off the rather disappointingly dried mud along with the little wriggly sandhoppers which had been in it onto the driveway. Bless her, she tried to rekindle the mood once she was sure there was no longer anything alive on her, but the moment was lost really!
Since then I've tried to keep my WAM scenarios a little simpler. A protracted process that involves multiple steps and delayed gratification might be fun to imagine, but it's not the only time something overly elaborate that I've planned has failed to work in practice.
Baked beans for me! Picture enough to fill a 2 gallon bucket that had a hole in, makeshift gunge tank. This was for a self wam session, usually use same setup for gunge/slime, or custard.
It took a large quantity of small tins to fill the bucket to the brim. Pulled the release cord, and then.Nothing! Thought they would be more free flowing than they were. Ended that session with just a head dunk and felt like I'd wasted my time not getting the video results I wanted. Ah well!
A session with actual custard and beans with Sally, my one time regular wam partner. Neither of us liked the cold, clammy feeling or the smell, also it was a pig to clean up. After this we stuck to shaving foam pies from then on.
I bought some fake clay from Messy Supplies to use, but didn't realize how long it needed to sit for to get the right consistency. By the time it was the correct consistency it was freezing cold which ruined the experience as being cold turns me off.
Also this wasn't a thought it would work but didn't story, but this past Christmas Eve I was planning to do a huge messy session with tons of shaving cream pies, cake batter, and sweet foodstuffs, only to find out that not only was my hot water heater broken, my heater was also broken so I had to through everything away without getting to use it. Well not everything I just brought the sweet foodstuffs to the Christmas Party I was attending
Had a couple of close calls but no complete write offs.
One is a gunge tank that almost didn't clear the ceiling. The trigger mechanism has a rod on a pivot to pull the plug out (upwards through the gunge) which I forgot to acount for in my measurements. We've got less than an inch clearance when it's triggered.
Other one was pouring mess down a clear pipe tucked into clothing. Got the thickest stuff we could from a hardware store, which came on a roll so was a pain to keep straight and it developed a kink. Intentionally used thinner substances but even so ended up with a couple of blockages. In the end a peg solved the kink problem and everything flowed roughly as we hoped. Found some thicker pipe online too which I expect will help if/when I buy it.
I've got some shit show stories. I've mentioned the first one a few times so I'll keep it simple-stupid:
-Baked bean in the ear canal, eventually ex partner got it with tweezers but it was a terrifying struggle.
-One session I used too thin of plastic to tarp off my room. While rolling everything up, the accumulated 40+lbs of slop came gushing out after my fingers poked through the plastic. Cue me having to yell to my ex who was in the shower that I needed help. Got the blob of gunk onto a large piece of cardboard and had to carry it out my 3rd story walk up apartment down to the dumpster in the alley at 330am. Seemed extremely heavy as it was very awkward to carry down the stairs without it spilling in the common areas.
-pies exploding higher than the plastic and staining the wall
Reiver said: This train of thought was set off by Jayce's hilarious tale of a disastrous gummi bears session in the "I love seeing couples who WAM together" thread below. Perhaps we could all learn a little from each others mistakes here, whether they're amusing tales, or simply things that seemed a good idea in theory but just didn't work in practice.
A couple of simple things are substances that seemed like they'd be fun but actually weren't. Black treacle was our worst, and possibly the only time we've ended up completely aborting a WAM session - small quantities do indeed look good, but are painfully sticky - I mean really painfully! I've since learnt that large quantities become more slippery, but I didn't know that at the time! Ketchup and mayonnaise were also a disappointment - not only were we both almost gagging at the smell (probably not helped by the bottle of French dressing I used to start with!) but they virtually disappear once you start smearing them over skin - paint is much more visually effective and smells a whole lot better too!
Then there was the time I thought it would be fun to cover my wife in mud at the nearby estuary, then have her put her clothes on over her muddy body for the short drive home, after which I'd strip her off and we'd have fantastic sex. Well, this all went well to begin with. Smearing handfuls of mud over her body was great fun for both of us, and, having avoided her face, with clothes and wellies on she looked surprisingly normal for the short walk back to the car, not that there was anyone around anyway. The trouble started while we were driving back. "This mud feels a bit odd against my skin", she said. A minute later, "I'm sure I can feel something moving". Half a minute after that "Urgh, I can, there are creatures wriggling about under my clothes! Get me home!!". We pulled up at home and she was stripping off the moment she was out the car, dusting off the rather disappointingly dried mud along with the little wriggly sandhoppers which had been in it onto the driveway. Bless her, she tried to rekindle the mood once she was sure there was no longer anything alive on her, but the moment was lost really!
Since then I've tried to keep my WAM scenarios a little simpler. A protracted process that involves multiple steps and delayed gratification might be fun to imagine, but it's not the only time something overly elaborate that I've planned has failed to work in practice.
Anyone got any other disasters to share?!
Tried making clear wax once destroyed it by accident over putting the amount I needed by a few drops and ruined the whole case
My now wife and I once decided we would play with some mud from a vacant lot down the street from our place, We for whatever reason went for our faces first, the problem we soon realized was the lot is used for parking on the weekends and the mud was very polluted with oil and other fluids at least it smelled like it anyway. It certainly put a damper on things.
Cooking oil. Aside from slippery in an acrylic tub it both leaves a smell on the skin and is impossible to get off of skin or out of clothes. Ended up tossing those clothes and showering several times.
Balloons filled with chocolate syrup make a GIGANTIC mess when popped as the chocolate syrup is thin and goes everywhere. Also when using substances to reduce friction on you make shift slide make sure said substances do not dry and become a sticky mess as you will stop dead instead of sliding and it is a painful experience.
Custard. A harsh lesson about strong smells in a bathroom- quickly overpowered by it and had to shower off before I brought my breakfast back up.
Using a bin bag to deliver an overhead gunging. Simple plan of tie a bin liner onto the shower hook, fill it with gunge and use a pencil to poke holes in the bottom- delivering a steady stream of gunge that gets faster and faster as I make more holes. In practice gunge is heavy, and was adding too much weight to the shower so I only had 2-3 jugs in the bag and an almost full bucket in the bath. And then the gunge didn't flow well out the holes, instead sticking to the inside of the bag. Had to tear it open and 'milk' it out. Oh, and also hanging stuff off the shower means the gunge landed over the bath taps- its real pain to actually get under it and very tedious to clean the mess after.
First time sploshing with my partner- as my suggesting she tried spanking me with a handful of gunge. Great fun. Also a great way to decorate the ceiling in the hotel room!
Stashing my inflatables by the mud hole- saves a lot of extra work carrying/cleaning/drying etc... Problem is the local wildlife found them rather tasty and as autumn approached everything suddenly had holes chewed in it. (No issues in late summer- then almost everything ruined in the space of a week)
[DANGEROUS!] Wearing a wedding dress in the lake (washing it after a muddy session) Felt amazing to swim in it with all the fabric floating out- until it wrapped and tangled my legs. Had to swim back to shore with just my arms. FYI- I'm a strong swimmer and would have struggled to swim a few meters back into my depth had I not known this risk and put on some inflatable armbands first.
Using Slube and Clayzee Colours together, both are great on their own- but didn't actually mix well in the pool. The clay just broke apart into small lumps and floated in the slube- result was visually unappealing enough to put me off playing in it.