Hey All,

So have some of you may have seen I am UK based and working on pie recipes. This got me thinking what does everyone think makes up the perfect pie. Not ingredients but texture etc.

For me I think it depends if it's being thrown or pushed but I think it has to be smearable but with a softer runnier? filling. Coverage is obviously important to.

Then I suppose there would be the nice to haves, good taste, no bad smells after, easy to clean up etc.

Would be great to hear what you all think.

I agree about the combination of thick/smearable and wet/runny. For my tastes, the best pies have both a plastering effect that simplifies and emphasizes their target (faces, breasts, butts, whatever) *and* a secondary dripping/slopping-over effect that extends the pieing both over the body (going from someone's face to her cleavage, for example, or from her butt down her thighs) and over time.

In fact, I think the mess-over-time effect is one of the things that gets me the most. So if there's anything that can play up that effect, I'm for it. I love crusts that stay intact enough to slide down after a second or two, form ringed collars, or otherwise extend the moment of the pieing itself. I also love seeing different colored pie messes that act differently - say, a chocolate-syrup topping that immediately pours down while the cream stays mostly in place, or a fruit filling that's thick enough to sit on top of someone's head while cream or custard cover the victim's hair and shoulders, or whatever. To me, this type of effect gives a pieing a lot of depth and character (for lack of better words), and I'd much rather see someone take four or five multidimensional, mess-over-time pies - skillfully and artfully applied, of course - than twenty pie tins that are all just filled with straight Cool Whip or whatever.

Gotta be a well decorated real pie. If it doesn't look like it took effort to make, it's not worth it.

Interesting will definitely consider decoration on my next effort.

No smell makes it a winner in my eyes but also stability. I want a pie that I can make and that hasn't collapsed as soon as I come to use it. Some of them look amazing for 30 seconds then loose all the air especially the squirty cream ones.

For me it's also about the splat. Some make a great noise others not so much xxxx

It's why I only get real pies from the store.