So, the wife and I had been planning to get messy for my birthday which was a few days ago. We had been hoping to use store bought (Marie Calander's or the like) for the purpose only to be told at two different stores that cream filled pies are "more of a seasonal thing, but we have fruit filled pies if you'd like". Never telling them what the intended use would be, I politely declined and went about my business. It took three shops and two different days to finally find the 3 pies we wanted to use (she usually wants to sit in one, smash one on her breasts and smash one in my face). For the future, can any of you wonderful people recommend a decent alternative to use so I'm not driving all over town trying to find a simple item?

The Marie calendar's are generally available at walmart. I have been using the online order to pickup for my supplies anymore. I bought some plastic totes for pickup, since they don't give bags anymore. Or I will purchase a little at a time over a few months, if you have the freezer space, spreading it out over time, is easier on the budget, and doesnt draw suspicion .