Hello! Looking for cheap and easy sloppy recipes for pies I can make using pre-made crusts. Doesn't have to taste good, just look good and sloppy. No chocolate please. Please let me know your hacks. I can bake, but I don't have an ingredidents I'll have to buy every little thing so if it's not needed for mess then maybe it can just be skipped. Thanks so much! Also if anyone in Los Angeles would like to pie me please pm me.

Instant pudding (pie filling) is easy - it comes in various (non-chocolate) flavors. Just add milk and mix. Make sure you get the kind that you don't have to heat.

Butterscotch pudding--wholesale or from the large-size 'snack pack' type deals--or cake batter are staple fillings for me as a non-chocolate-lover. Be generous with it - and topping that off with Cool Whip is usually enough (though if you like you can whisk it together with vanilla frosting, marshmallow fluff, or even shaving cream in arbitrary ratios depending on how you're feeling and what kind of effect you're after) for WAM purposes. Homemade whipped cream works fine if you prefer. Great look, great feel: solid stick, sound splatter. Divine.

You can get boxes of cake batter for a buck usually, mix with water or Karo syrup to make it clingier. You can even color with food coloring. Be careful with milk, if you don't get ever drop cleaned up and off it will smell.