Hi Everyone,

I've been a member of UMD for a while but have never actually posted in the threads! Wanted to ask all the fellow members here regarding your thoughts on pieing in public. Does anyone have any good locations, ideas, or suggestions? Has anyone had close calls, or gotten in trouble? How did you go about asking someone to throw a pie at you? etc....etc.. I browse UMD frequently but have not been able to find any thread focused on public pieings.

I've had my fair share of public pieings (coed), but I think i have maxed out on ideas. Feel free to share any experiences as well! Looking forward to hearing some input and sharing some stories.

Don't do it. It's involving the public in something that for you is a sexual activity.

I'm not talking about involving the public. I'm referring to pieing at a location that is not your home, or an enclosed brick and mortar, but still private.

Firstly, gotta echo what others are saying about not involving muggles in your activities. Goes for any kink really, not just WAM.

There was a members-only fetish club in DC a while back that was open to the idea of a WAM demonstration. The details were up in the air because they were in between leases and having trouble finding space and I sadly moved away before plans could be finalized. (Thanks, gentrification!) They hosted all sorts of BDSM and other fetish play while providing a space for the kinky community to congregate. All the folks there were really chill and there was certainly an element of exhibitionism for all sorts of things.

As for actually getting involved, it's a matter of showing up to munches in the area (platonic lunches with kinksters), meeting folks and generally not being a creep. WAM is certainly one of the more fun and innocent fetishes out there. It's pretty easy to explain and kinksters tend to be curious. Be more interesting than just your fetish and you should be able to make things happen with a consenting audience.

This cannot be understated. Connect with your local kink community. You guys who are paralyzed with fear because you don't want people to know what your kink is, these people are not vanilla. They're not normies or muggles. They're going to be extremely accepting of your weirdness. Get a fetlife profile and look up local groups. Attend munches and be active. You never know what's going on just down the road.

I'm planning the exact same thing in my city. The fetish/BDSM group I am working with doesn't have a "club" per se, they just rent a hotel event space and make it a members' only party.

I went to my first event last night and the organizers are excited to help me make this work.

I'll let the umd know how it goes.

Did a few public ones recently to test the waters, including getting caked at a minor league hockey game two weeks ago. Guess it depends on what you're comfortable with. Though I love the sexual side, I also kind of get off on the humiliation side. First was at a restaurant for my "birthday", second was done as a prank were I was waiting at tye bus stopnand a friend ran up and did it, third was at the hockey game infront of 2K people (I even got paid for it)...

Still, would love to do it once where I get multiple pies from several people and stripped a bit...

Holy fuck what is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how creepy you are being?

Only the last entry is disturbing about wanting to get stripped. You realize that's just a fantasy, right? I don't think the OP is really planning on getting pied and stripped in a Taco Bell. Nothing wrong with the other stuff. If one person can get pied in a restaurant, anyone can. You are trying to prevent some people based on what? They think its erotic? What about the mud scenes shot by Jayce and wambabes in public? What about Ariel getting pied in a wal mart parking lot? What about Rich from SS Stuff pie scenes in public? Why are you not crying about these which were video'd and likely wanked to? Why do you want to crucify some guy who gets pied in a restaurant when no one who sees it sees anything fetish or adult about it? Why do you think its OK to "involve the public" to embarrass someone with a pie in the face as long as they aren't aroused by it? Let us suppose the target had no previous messy fetish, but after being pied in public found it erotic? What should we do? How do we purify everyone who saw it? How is it different for the public if the target is aroused or not? Assuming there isn't a raging boner visible obviously.

so if you think it would be really fun to get a cake in the face at a hockey game, that's ok. But if you think it would be fun to get a cake in the face at a hockey game and then file the incident away in your mental spank bank for later usage, that's wrong?

Here's my take. While you shouldn't be blamed by other people just because you have unusual hidden feelings when you *participate* in an ordinary activity, you could be blamed for *initiating* a plan under false pretenses (and you can even optionally blame yourself if you happen to participate in something for the wrong reasons). No content producers are doing any of those things, with the exception of ThatsUnfairTV, which was dodgy.

Though it isn't clear, the OP seemed like they were talking about arranging something consensually in private but non-enclosed space, like a backyard. Which is fine, if the other participant gets that it's at least titillating (and obviously assuming kids aren't involved). I don't have any helpful strategies on how to do it well, though the idea of finding fetish groups ("munches" -- ugh, I hate that word) sounds good. Or a burlesque club, or grey zones like that.

The latest poster is talking about initiating a plan under false pretenses with a mixed audience. e.g., if it's a hockey game, I have to assume it includes kids. Which: no, don't do that.

Jeez, you guys are making me wonder if I should stop stuffing cakes down my pants and rubbing them suggestively into my junk on the subway.

Still not following. In one case someone is pied in public and is not aroused. In an IDENTICAL scenario the same exact thing happens, the target feels all the same emotions, plus arousal. How were the observers victimized in the second scenario? They saw the exact same thing. How are you victimized by someone else feeling an emotion? What injury did it cause you? Why are you not calling out producers who make public scenes if you feel this way?

I agree with you that the difference between good and bad can't hinge on just a feeling. You can't criminalize teh feels.

The difference has to do with a difference in reasons for acting, or intentions to initiate a plan of action. When other people are supposed to be co-participants in the action, they deserve to know the reasons -- or at least have those reasons signaled to them. And intentions aren't the same as feelings in any obvious sense.

I'll give you intent. Let us assume scenario 2 the target anticipated feeling arousal. No one has yet explained how they would be victimized and injured by that. This is pretty important because it has far reaching implications. It implies I need someone's permission to feel an emotion, since that is the only difference between the 2 scenarios. I disagree especially since there is nothing particular to a specific person, but only being in public. The audience could be, and is, any number of people at random. Contrast this with people who have this fetish who go to non-fetish messy events. If you aren't a total hypocrite, you can never look at any non-fetish material.

The participants of a mud volleyball tournament or pie in the face charity event certainly have no knowledge of you viewing them with a feeling of arousal. So this position demands informing all the participants prior to viewing the event of your fetish, or never viewing any mainstream messy scenarios. It is must certainly be more incumbent upon the viewer as he/she is there to watch specific people perform these acts intending to feel arousal.

Contrast this with not knowing who, if anyone, may watch the fetishist engage in a messy scenario. The viewer in public can always look away and cannot be "forced" to watch, and in fact will only do so if they choose to. (and are likely enjoying it) While an event participant cannot choose NOT to be watched or seen by someone with the fetish. The question is do you need someone else's permission to feel arousal?

You have to grant me both intent *and* a plan of action. Passive participation is not the same as initiating a plan. Sure, there's no violence involved. But there is a violation of trust that people could reasonably resent if they found out about your reasons for action, and which you can't just dismiss by saying that you have a right to your private feelings. OTOH if someone found out about your feelings when participating in a thing, you can optionally say: "look, you can't reasonably resent me for things I have no control over, so buzz off"

Basic idea: a person can participate in somebody else's action with whatever feelings they like, but it's uncool to rope other people into a plan of your own devising under false pretenses

You stumble across a dunk tank event, do you need to tell everyone there (or just the dunkee) why you are sticking around and laughing? Sposhcouple is right, that attitude pretty much makes non-fetish messy events un-attendable for many of the people on this forum.

I go to mud volleyball tourneys w/ the intention of getting into mud fights and the further intention of losing those mud fights, or at least getting the "worst" end of things. I'm not visibly getting aroused during these mud fights. The experience is simply getting filed away in my mental rolodex.

I absolutely do not see the issue.

Because there's no issue if you participate in something and there is an issue if you initiate it, e.g., organize the event with people who don't know why you're doing it.

I'll grant you both. That's what I meant by intent. The person in scenario 2 undertakes a plan for a public messy scene where he or she anticipates feeling arousal. If your claim of injury is a violation of trust, I disagree with that. You have no reasonable expectation or right to trust someone else won't feel an emotion, whether it's arousal or something else. Also we are talking about random strangers. I have placed no trust in them, they have placed no trust in me. There is NO TRUST to be violated IMO. It is not done under false pretenses, because you don't know what the pretense is. Your incorrect assumption does not equal a violation by the fetishist. (There are exceptions, such as undertaking something like this in an area primarily for children but that is not what is being discussed here) In scenario 2 we don't even know who may or may not watch.

I do feel a person with a fetish viewing a non-fetish event with the intent of obtaining arousal or sexual satisfaction would have a greater duty to inform due to the inability of those participants to control observers. Where in scenario 2 the observers have complete control.

Eh, you say that you're granting a point about the relevant way to describe the scenario and then you reason in a way that indicates you haven't granted it.

The thing reasonably resented is not the mere feeling or mere participation but the intent to make a situation with other participants for the purpose of arousal under the pretense of some other activity. To reduce it to arousal, is to lose sight of the place where I've suggested we ought to draw the line between right and wrong.

That, I assume, is one reason we don't agree. Though I also suspect that we're not on the same page when it comes to ideas like trust violation and false pretences, since I think your mud wrestling scenario doesn't involve either (mud wrestling is sexualized by default, an adult sanctioned grey zone like burlesque), while the latest poster's examples either do or are borderline. Like, for a clear case, imagine being a company boss who organizes a pie fight for employees just to privately get off on it, though publicly as a team building exercise. That's not cool. But the reason it isn't cool isn't just to do with arousal. It's because of the false pretenses (and exploitation).

But we do agree on this. This is not the public situation under discussion. Now you are doing something under false pretenses with specific people. First of all there is already a trust established between coworkers and people you know. In order to organize this and get participation, you'd need to state a REASON why you are doing it. That reason probably isn't going to be so you can jerk off later. So that WOULD be violating trust under false pretenses.

The person pieing himself on a streetcorner or restaurant has stated no such pretense nor coerced or coordinated anyone to participate under a false pretense. This goes to you making an assumption, and an incorrect assumption, OF WHAT THE INTENT WAS. You ASSUMED incorrectly the person would not feel arousal or did not intend to feel arousal. This is your pure incorrect assumption, right? Also there is no agreement or expectation a person in public cannot or will not or should not experience arousal from activities that some people don't find erotic. And that somehow if they do it injures you.

By the way, I'm not describing a mud wrestling event. Mud volleyball is not mudwrestling.

I'm having a hard time in seeing why you think it matters that assumptions are going on in public cases, as if the fact that people interpret situations in terms of their expectations was a reason to think they must be unreasonable. If this is your point, I'll grant you that not all assumptions are good ones; and I'll also grant that nobody should be held hostage to someone's silly idiosyncratic expectations. But some assumptions are better grounded than others, and when the assumptions are grounded, it's reasonable to talk about the violation of trust among strangers in a culture as something worth caring about. So, e.g., the assumption that mud-volleyball (or wrestling, etc) is non-sexual is way less defensible than the assumption that a hockey game is. And since some assumptions are grounded, there's plenty of basis for comparing the boss case that I described with the hockey case.

Well then I will declare you have been a worthy adversary. Lesson learned : Observer beware, the person you are observing may be experiencing emotions you do not approve of at this time!

My 2cents:

I wouldn't go to a non-kinky environment to receive or watch others receive pies in the face, because there is a mental transgression going on for me.

To be honest, I don't pay much attention to the non-fetish pie posts on here, like college madhouse, or WWYD clips. In my mind, the folks on there really aren't supposed to be my spank material.

Having said that - it is undeniable that "innocent" videos and tv shows were absolutely the genesis for my kink. If poor Suzanne Sommers only knew how many times I rewound and re-watched my VHS copy of her 3s Company self pie... of course even then, this is a bit different than the contestants on a game show. Ms Sommers knows that everything she does on that show carries a sexual element - she was fully aware that she was hired as much for her jiggle as for her acting abilities. Anyway.. I'm getting off point.

Back to the reality. It's just plain is creepy to put yourself in a situation where the entire room around you thinks an activity is non-sexual, but for you it IS sexual.

Imagine going to a church fundraiser where there are pies being thrown at people, but you find it a turn on. What if you got wood?

If you are walking around a church, with kids around and you are trying to hide a hard on, it would be so embarrassing... everyone would assume you're the priest. (rimshot)

That wasn't the point at all, but... let's be friends?

I also tend to avoid "vanilla" messy events because I worry it would feel weird even though I would not behave inappropriately. There's a mud run not far from me which looks great, but I've avoided it for that reason.
I think outdoor mud play or shoots (which came up earlier in the thread) are a different kettle of fish to public events, because most people go to great lengths to find locations where being spotted is unlikely. In most cases being seen by bystanders is not a desired part of the experience.

It's possible that I might have used the incorrect wording in my initial post but I think some of us are overthinking. This is what I was referring to:

https://youtu.be/7n5lpoakQks

Agreed, this is obviously fetish so there should be no deceitful intent / injury complaint. You can do things like only undertake this on school days during school hours to try and ensure no children see it. Someone will still come on here even if you're wearing a sign that says "fetish in progress" and there are no kids for 1000 miles, because this is not their thing, and just label it "creepy" and "fucked up"

Yeah see, I'm not here to argue, so this will be by lone reply... but... I really don't care what you think or what your opinion is... it's my life and I'm going to enjoy it... you are free to do what you wish and so am I.... on that note, have a good night...

PieFaceHB, go out and have some fun!!

Apologies for the less than filled out profile, went through a puritanical purge a while back, I feel a few of us have been there (long live wam).

Anyway, In relation to this thread, this is the sticky ground fetishes land many of us in. Take for example, my knitwear/sweater fetish. Living in Dublin October through April is one big wooly world, I'm taking in 10s of sweaters on women everyday and while not developing erections or leering after people, I am getting the butterflies as I can' t help but observe.

What is one to do here?