Hello All,

My name is Owen and I'm a journalist. I'm looking for any volunteers to speak to me on a story i'm writing.

A few months ago I was the manager of a small cinema in South London that was hired out on weekends for private parties and functions. I worked a Splosh/WAM film festival with an award ceremony at the end.

Two things really struck me about the event -

1) How unbelievably supportive everyone at this event was. There was one woman in particular who won an award, and then donated £200 to a mental health charity in its honour because 'she saw a lot of joy and a lot of self-expression, but also a lot of anxiety, depression and mental turmoil.'

2) There were two men dressed in army uniforms, who strongly hinted to me that they'd found themselves really struggling with PTSD after their respective tours, and had found this incredible support network within the community.

The story I want to write is on those two men, although not exclusively on veterans. If you have found a serious sense of place and belonging in this community beyond sexuality then I would love to talk. Again, this is not limited to WAM, if there is ANY sexual subculture that you believe I should look into because of the support it gives, then please respond. First and foremost, I want to know if the story of these men is common, because if it is I think it's beautiful.

I'm based in London, but if there is anyone around the world who has a story to share, then I can, of course, set up a skype call or an email chain.

Thank you very much - very keen to hear from anyone at all

Owen

I think anytime you have a group of people who are marginalized they're going to find comfort and support among people with shared experiences. WAM is a niche kink. And many people here share similar struggles, such as the anxiety of sharing this aspect of our lives with our partners. There are more than a few who will be married for decades and keep wam their dirty little secret, making this community their only outlet for camaraderie and a sense of belonging.

You may want to reach out to Penny Banks. She was the organizer for the event.

https://umd.net/pennybanks

Hi Owen, welcome to UMD! Also, thank you for this post and you're greater concern for the well being of our fellow human beings.

The event in question was called "The Messtival" organized by user PennyBanks, and the woman you're thinking of regarding the donation is user LisaMoomin. Both of these wonderful ladies can be found about the forums here.

I want to take a moment to direct your attention to this area we've been working on.

https://umd.net/groups/group/messy-minds

This is a group that was recently just called "Relationships" where we were originally talking about how to open up to others about WAM. Lisa really spearheaded a desire in wanting to open that discussion up more about not JUST WAM, but also other issues and/or problems we or those we know may be dealing with in real life.

There is a lot of pain in this world, and a lot of it we don't like to talk about openly. Sometimes its embarrassing, sometimes we think others won't understand. PTSD is a topic very much worth and in need of that kind of discussion. It has lasting repercussions that reach even those in civilian life who have known abuse.

If you want more information on the site as well, please contact Messmaster directly as well.

Hey guys, I've already spoken to Owen yesterday and let him know that the Messtival team and I aren't interested in working with any mainstream media regardless of how anonymous or well intentioned it will be and he was very understanding. Just to clarify, he worked the event as a bartender and has started working with media since then; we would not, and never will invite a journalist to an event.

Ensuring that attendees feel comfortable to express themselves and come to events without worrying about any risks to their privacy is my highest priority; I hope that this reassures anyone who may have been concerned by seeing this thread and please feel free to email or inbox me if you have any worries.