Question for those who do want sessions regularly... Do you have any recommendations for pie/whipped cream substitutes? I'm looking for something that could potentially taste ok, wouldn't be as hard to wash out (e.g. the sour milk smell if you miss some.whipped.cream in the shower) and is generally fun to use for thrower and recipient.

If shaving cream is your favorite option... Is there a brand or type that's best or preparation method that makes it more fun?

Cool whip or any off-brand "whipped topping" actually has very little "real" dairy. They are edible oil products that you can play in until they break down into what feels and acts pretty much like suntan lotion. Smells good, tastes good, and actually makes your skin feel nice afterwards!

Shaving cream is fun too, but it has some drawbacks. It is too light for pies that you might want to throw - add a little water if you want more of a splat. Taste is terrible and it is soap, so it can sting the eyes a bit - but if you spring for the "sensitive skin" brand (avoid menthol!) it's not too bad if it does get into your eyes. It will dry out your skin. It is super easy to clean up and it smells nice - some girls really dig the masculine smell they get engulfed in when they play in it.

I've been wondering about this as well.

Also, curious how Great Value (Walmart) Whipped Topping compares to Cool Whip, as it is half the price. Has anyone had the sour milk smell issue with this?

Boy ain't that the truth!

In my youthful, experimentation days, I tried toothpaste. Felt great for about 3 seconds. Then, oh my gawd!!!

That would be an interesting thread, if not already created . . .
What have you tried for WAM, and reaaaalllllly regretted?

Great things to know about coolwhip...

What about any Alternatives to readi-whip? I think that is where my sour milk experience is from. There's something fun about spraying it out onto a pie tin or using it on your partner to give them horns or a daub on the end of their nose before proceeding.

You can always pipe it. I put frozen cool whip in large bags and cut a corner to pipe into tins or wherever. You can always put an icing tip in here and pipe it all pretty like. Of course, it isn't pressurized..

There was mention somewhere of making a cream with lemonade and an emulsifier, using the whisk attachment a of food mixer. Does that ring a bell for anyone?

This: https://umd.net/forums/chega-mais-pie-recipe-question

Which has links to other UMD posts and other stuff.

Barbasol Aloe & Karo syrup will solve ALL your troubles, winner.

Do you just mix the two to make a thicker foam or more steps? Then will it pay off my car note and get me out of jury duty?

Spray that great stuff into a bucket or bowl and pour in the syrup, mix it good and off you go! The more syrup, the more sloppy. It is easy as taking a weed eater from a baby!
... it is almost so good you can eat it, not swallow, mind you, but it taste like heaven, if heaven were shaving cream and high fructose syrup!

One thing that I've found works well is finding non-dairy whipped cream. There are coconut and almond varieties that I've tried, and they leave little to no dairy smell. Plus, they taste and smell pretty great.

Love it!

Used to use Karo corn syrup in the old slime recipes. Made the slime ultra smooth and glossy. Never tried mixing it with cool whip or shaving cream. Mixing shaving foam with warm water will create an ideal cream filling for pies that stick everytime and look as close to real pies as possible. Or let cool whip sit out for hours and mix it together with frosting, icing, or pudding.

Non-Dairy "Free from" alternatives to squirty cream. With there being such a market for Vegan and Lactose Free options nowadays, getting something that's like dairy without the dairy is easier today than it ever has been.

Dreamygie has a recipe that involves 4:1 butter cream icing and marshmallow fluff. Its actually my new favorite. No smell, afterwards.