A Catholic priest tried to throw a Higgs Boson out of his church.

"Wait, wait!" said the boson, "without me, you can't have mass!"

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Q: What was Albert Einstein's DJ name?

A: MC Squared.

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Einstein, Newton and Pascal were playing Hide and Seek. Einstein slowly counted to 100 while Pascal ran off and hid. Newton drew a square on the floor with one metre sides and then sat down in the center of the square.
Einstein finished counting, opened his eyes and immediately spotted Newton. "That was easy, I found you Newton!"
Newton replied "No you didn't, you found one Newton per Square Metre. You found a Pascal."

Mildly related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn7-fVtT16k

They also have Bill Nye vs Sir Isaac Newton

Did you hear about the cow that fell into the Large Hadron Collider?
--It lead to the discovery of the Higgs Bovine

Two cats of the same size slide down a roof at the same time, but one falls off first. Which one?

The one with the smaller "mew."