Why is it so crap?!

Discuss.

I signed up for a free one once. I lasted 2 days. You know the guy's side. Here is the girl's side.

I made a profile with an average pic and totally dull information, like "I like movies and having fun! Tee her! " I planned to fill it in later. Within 24 hours the profile had something like 100 friend requests, 50 messages, and 60 "winks" ( like Facebook pokes). Some messages were from seemingly nice guys who were trying really hard. They wrote nice messages and seemed genuine, at least as much as you can be on Internet dating. The rest of the messages... ranged from "ur hot" to "lets talk sometime" to "sup." I get that guys don't know what its like for girls on those sites, but come on! Do they really think that any girl is going to be wooed buy a 3 letter message? I mean, I don't think I would respond to that even if it were the only message I got.

There is just no way even the most well meaning and nicest girl could ever respond to that many messages everyday. She would have to pick a few at random to answer because there is just no way she could answer 50 messages per day---PER DAY, mind you. At that point you just choose a couple of profiles based on pictures that look interesting and respond to those guys.

It creates a real dilemma for guys because you have to message 100 girls to get one or two responses, or so you hope. Of course the most well meaning and nicest guys don't have time to write 100 unique and well thought messages. That means you send short messages hoping she will respond because you don't have time to write anything better, but of course she is not likely to respond to such a short generic message.

In the end, I deleted my account because I realized I couldn't be honest or get anything out of it that would remotely be worth my time. I guess that leaves women who either will leave an account open but unchecked ( so you will never get a response from her) or have nothing better to do.

I wrote the last message with speech recognition on my tablet. That is why a bunch of words are wrong. Sorry for my bad spelling.

No problem, Justine! I appreciated your perspective. I assume it's not unlike what goes on here for ladies, especially when they 1st join!

Norman

I met my gf on POF, Sept 17th is our one year anniversary. After our initial meetup, she flew 2000 miles (from eastern Canada) to be with me.

My husband has been encouraging me to try OKC again but last time I just got so many mean messages from guys asking why I wouldn't respond to them when I had my sexual orientation listed as lesbian and clearly stated in my profile that I was only looking to meet women. It's just not enjoyable to be harassed via the internet. I think I would only try online dating again if it was a site specifically for lesbians.

My husband on the other hand has had great luck with OKC. He's been on several dates now with cute chicks in our area. Only one was a psycho but honestly I am surprised that most are actually not crazy.

Yeah, I've had bad luck with them. Only one person on eHarmony ever responded back to me and told me that she isn't looking to date as she is engaged, but signed up just to talk to people (um, that isn't the point of the site). It also matched me up with a close friend - that was a bit awkward for both of us.

I've tried speed dating once too - that is horrible. As I'm a pretty shy person, I don't make a great impression in two minutes, so it turns out to be nothing more than a way to get rejected 30 times in an hour

Exactly. I've never understood speed dating ........ :ohbruther:

I'm the same way.

Norman

Where do I get a wife like this? Leila, do you have a sister? If not, could I get some of your DNA to send to Korea?

Regis, are you cheating on Jayce already?

Trust me you don't want my DNA, it's pretty fucked from 10+ years of repeated radiation exposure.

I finally ended up making a dating profile and was surprised to see so many people in my area in open marriages. I actually have a date with another married bi woman soon I think people my age & younger are not feeling the pressure of having to be monogamous just because that is how marriage traditionally has worked. I am guessing this varies by location but most people I know pretty open about sex. Or maybe all my friends are just perverts, lol.

I grew up in Massachusetts. It's always struck me funny that for starting out so strict and conservative, and having so many "blue laws" still on the books, how liberal and open regarding sex so many people there are!

So I guess we're all perverts! Lol! Lucky you, to have so many "pervert" friends!

Norman

So it's more like .... LEILA HAZMAT?

BOOM

Okay, showing myself out now.