Nichole might have an insane booty... A huge set of lungs... And a complete lack of shame about wearing this ridiculous nurse outfit... But even she is powerless against... The fickle tastes of the buying public!!!

RAWHD.SlapstickStuff.com

Or in other words... This is new unedited footage from Nichole. It's quite good, and she does some of the best "nurse acting" of ANY SS model to date... But I suspect the deciding factor will be the price. Which has been reduced. For ALL the Nichole clips.

Yes, I'm more than a little disappointed at the early sales thus far, but you know what? Even a movie as great as Mad Max got beat by Pitch Perfect. Can't win 'em all!

Also, for those who buy the "Complete" version... You're in for a treat. I'm in the process of editing Scene 3 down and it's gonna be pretty amazing.... A full-blown TV parody (complete with fake credits) of the kind I rarely do anymore, plus Nichole's very funny (and very over-the-top) acting on top. AND the only way to see the edit before the end of June is to get the Complete version... entitling you to a FREE code for the edit. (Just as soon as I get said edit done. Don't worry, I'll send them automatically.)

I am also aware of the irony of pulling out all the stops for a scene that looks like very few people are gonna buy. But hey, sometimes the work is its own reward....

I'll actually cut-and-paste the script below, for those interested....

The shooting script.... This isn't *exactly* what we filmed, but close enough.

GREEN’S ANATOMY

[NURSE wears a very skimpy and not-especially-authentic nurse costume, complete with heels and gloves. She acts a bit ditzy throughout.]

NURSE: [to CAMERA] Oh boy! My first day at the new hospital! I even wore my best nurse outfit! [She models it.] You never know when you might meet a cute doctor! [as DOCTOR enters] Speaking of… [She fixes her hair and gives a big smile.]

DOCTOR: So, you must be the new nurse, Miss… Green?

N: Yes! Meredith Green! [They shake hands.] And you’re Doctor… McDreamy?

D: [confused] It’s pronounced Mic-Dra-me. But yes.

N: Well, Doctor McDreamy… I’m sure we’re gonna get to know each other really well over the next few months…

D: Uh huh. If you say so. Also, make sure you wear approved scrubs tomorrow. I’m not sure that outfit is 100% hygienic.

N: Oh. [She seems confused and tries to say something as DOCTOR leaves.]

N: [to CAMERA] That didn’t go QUITE according to plan. But I’m sure there’s other cute doctors here at the hospital… [DOCTOR re-enters] Speaking of!!

N: Good to see you again, Doctor McDreamy!

D: No, I’m sorry. You must have me confused with my identical twin cousin. I’m Doctor McSteamy. Pleased to meet you.

N: [shaking hands but confused] McSteamy…?

D: It’s Irish. Top o’ the morning to ya! [pause] ANYWAY. We’ve had reports from several patients about a strange man roaming the halls. Might be an intruder. Might be dressed as a doctor. VERY distinctive hair. Have you noticed anything unusual, Miss Green?

N: Well… I did see this on the floor… [She holds up a rubber chicken.]

D: [over the top] Oh no! I hoped and prayed this day would never come… But now it’s here!!

N: So… This is…. Bad…?

D: Miss Green, I know you’re new here, but take my advice. Lock yourself in the break room, cover yourself with a blanket, and don’t come out until this intruder is caught! [pause] Oh, and make sure you wear approved scrubs tomorrow. No way that’s hygienic. [He runs OC.]

N: [to camera] This is so confusing! Two cute doctors… One terror threat… And I still have no idea where the break room is! [A boxing glove comes from OC and “bonks” her out of frame.]

[FADE IN on NURSE now tied up and struggling, running around the set in a panic. She can “MMMPH” and struggle to “sell” the joke. Various props are being thrown around—hats and rubber chickens—to ensure this is not serious. Finally DOCTOR enters.]

D: Oh no! Nurse Green! He got you too! [pause] This is terrible! Nothing this bad has ever happened at this hospital since the last season finale! I only hope tonight we don’t lose one of our own! [pause] McCreamy’s contract is up, he might be gone. Oh, and Bob the janitor made a homophobic comment to the press, he’s probably out of here.

[NURSE is “mmphing” and nodding agreement this entire time.]

D: Speechless, right? I know, I’m overwhelmed too! [pause] Oh. Whoops. [He removes her gag.]

N: Doctor McSteamy, what’s going on?

D: It’s worse than I feared! We’re under attack from this hospital’s greatest threat! A disgruntled baker turned psychopath. And his name is… [looks OC] Whoops! They need me in the OR.

N: [as DOCTOR exits] Wait! Come back! Aren’t you gonna untie me?? [looks around] Help! Help!

N: I’ve got to warn the others… before it’s too late! [She looks at something OC and gets scared.] Oh no! The legend is true. It IS you! You’re the Cream… Pie… Maniac! [She gets hit with a pie.]

D: [from OC] Hey nurse! Did I hear you correctly? Did you just say you found the Cream Pie Maniac? [She gets another pie.]

N: Yep. I’m pretty sure I found the Cream Pie Maniac. [another pie]

D: Well stay calm and don’t be a hero! And whatever you do, don’t say the name Cream Pie Maniac. [A pie flies from OC and hits her.] Pretty sure that triggers his rage.

N: I’m doing my best, doctor.

D: That’s good. You can never be too careful with the Cream Pie Maniac. [another throw pie]

N: Hey Doctor McSteamy? Any idea when help will arrive?

D: Actually, I’m Doctor McCreamy. McSteamy is my nephew. And it’s hard to say. We’re also tracking a second intruder… The Chocolate Pie Maniac! [NURSE gets a chocolate pie.]

N: You don’t say.

D: No, I really DO say! He’s definitely the Chocolate Pie Maniac! [another chocolate pie]

N: Yeah, well… Try to hurry.

D: Oh, we will. In the meantime, just stay put.

N: Well doctor… I’m still tied up, I’m covered in pie, and I can’t see anything at all. I don’t know what else I CAN do but… [gets orange slimed] Stay put.

D: [running back OC] Nice work, Nurse Green. You did great work distracting the Maniac while we got the rest of the staff to safety.

N: [wiping off] Happy to help. So… The hospital is safe now?

D: Of course not! This is the extended cliffhanger finale. There’s an entire horde of maniacs just waiting to wreck havoc! And only a handful of brave doctors and nurses to fight them off. [to camera] I hope we don’t lose one of our own….

N: Well, if you need me to do anything else—

D: I’m glad you volunteered, Nurse Green. Here, just take this gun… [She sits down on a stool and faces OC, holding a prop gun.] You’ll be our first line of defense. Just guard that door and make sure no one gets through!

N: Okay… But what about the rest of you?

D: Oh, we’ll be right behind you. [pause] Specifically, hiding in a broom closet right behind you. But good luck! You got this! [He runs OC.]

N: [to camera] Well, this looks impossible. But if there’s anything I learned from TV, it’s that the strongest heroes are always neurotic white girls.

N: [looks OC] Alright Maniacs! Gimme your best shot! [A pie flies from OC and hits her.] Uh oh.

[NURSE begins “firing” her gun with sound FX dubbed in. As she does, slime is tossed on her from OC, along with a couple pies. She can “shake them off” and keep firing, or fall back from the “impact” before returning fire. Throughout, she keeps shooting blindly until...]

D: Wow, Nurse Green! Thanks for saving the hospital. You really came through today!

N: [wiping] No problem. Just glad that everyone is safe.

D: Oh no, actually… McDreamy had an allergic reaction while saving a litter of kittens. And McCreamy fell down an elevator shaft. But I’m 100% fine! [pause] Except for this extremely rare blood clot… [He rolls his eyes and falls out of frame.]

N: [to camera] Why do people still watch this stupid show again? [looks at her outfit] Oh yeah. Nevermind.

PITCH PERFECT 2 had wam in it. Did MAD MAX have wam in it? Noooooope. Case closed.

Also, I bet bald chicks would sell even worse than girls in hideous wigs (although I think they're sexy ... the bald ones, that is; wigs are a non-starter).

Annnnnnnnnyway (as Robert Durst would say).

Well, consider this a lesson learned. I thought her wearing a wig (which, as she put it, "looks a lot better than my natural hair") and going ahead with the shoot was far preferable to losing $325 on a 2-night hotel reservation. In hindsight, not so much. (And yes, she definitely oversold how the wig would look.... Although her real hair ain't that great either.)

It's funny that MANY models over the years have worn wigs without any negative feedback. Maybe folks didn't realize they were wigs? (And no, I'm sure as hell not gonna tell you who they were NOW....) :-S

Anyway. The advantage of doing this for 11 years is you learn what doesn't sell at all. The list so far:
--bald models
--black models
--models with wigs
--models with hats
--models with short hair
--models with "plain" hair
--models with their hair up
--models with their hair in ponytails
--models with "too many" tattoos
--models with "not enough" tattoos
--overweight models
--underweight models
--models that "look too old"
--models that "look too fit"

Still selling well:
--transgender models
--models getting jizzed on

Rich, I can't believe you still haven't figured what sells on UMD. Isn't it obvious?
1) Models who wear white jeans
2) Models who wear watches

Come on....

But only if they're sitting in a white plastic chair!

Norman

You forgot to mention that she is one of the cutest models you've ever had! :lovestruck:

And ...... that she's wearing a pretty crappy wig!

Norman

I talked to her today and told her about the "wig fiasco." She just went, "But I thought the wig looked pretty good??"

Not sure she heard the sound of me shaking my head over the phone. ANYWAY. At least when/if she comes back, it'll be with her own hair. Although at this point I'm not sure I want to take the chance of losing that much money again....

On the flipside, this was literally taken 2 days after we shot. [Note to self: Learn what other producers already know.... ONLY post glamour pics of your models, taken with other, better photographers...]

(FYI, I wouldn't have commented that harshly about the wig if Rich hadn't already been joking about its impact on sales in an earlier thread.)

Fantastic pics of Nichole, Rich!

BOOBIES!

Wait, what is the story of the wig? i looked around for it, couldn't find?

Just a choice? How "bad" could her real hair be/why? Now I'm super curious.

I will say, my 2 cents, I have been buying clips outside the "norm" for me lately - black girls, shaved-headed girls, etc. Gotta mix it up sometimes.

Although if every model looked like Natalie Portman/Rachel Weisz, honestly it'd be fine with me.

Also, did I mention Nichole's amazing chesticles?

JY

It wasn't a "choice" where she was fine to shoot without the wig but I suggested she use it anyway. It was very much a situation where I was going over the shoot, in detail, and telling her exactly how much time she'd be spending in the shower & washing her hair after each scene.

So that's what made her balk. She first suggested that I could "keep her hair clean" until the final scene... Which didn't seem like a plausible option. Then she threw out the wig idea, again stressing that it would "be a great wig that looks better than [her] normal hair." And that seemed to ease all her concerns... So given the choice between a model who might cancel the shoot, or get very unhappy and bail after 1 or 2 scenes... I went with the "model wears wig and is happy" option.

Obviously, if I'd known that one unrealistic wig would basically be the sales repellent equivalent of model wearing shower cap, googles, and a Hefty bag, I would've thrown out that option. And that might've been it for the shoot. (Or she might've done the shoot anyway, and her hair would've been fine. Who knows?)

I don't regret my approach to dealing with models... Being honest and accommodating and flexible has served me well over the years. I mean, I'll watch other producer videos and immediately sense when a model is hating the experience and/or shooting "under duress," and that kills the vibe for me. I never intentionally want to put the model in that situation. Unfortunately, in the case of Nichole, that approach came back to bite me on the ass, and in hindsight, I suppose keeping her in the dark about the level of mess beforehand would've made for a better-selling scene (or two). But that approach also leaves you feeling shitty as a person, and I'd rather not run my business that way.

Even so, I'm STILL a bit baffled that fake hair became a huge sticking point. Although I guess it's best not to overanalyze what particular traits "kill" one's enjoyment of a fetish clip. I was complaining to Elle last night about this... She looked at the pics and went, "They hate her scenes because of THAT? It's not covering her face, or her boobs, or her butt..."

Then she suggested I could improve sales by maybe throwing gluten-free pies instead. I do love the outsider perspective to this very strange fetish.....

Bow chicka bow wow

From me, not so much a complaint (though it does stick out, but she has other attributes and I can get around it...), i was just curious -- like, did she have a gum-in-hair disaster and her hair was all f'd up, or she'd just shaved her head or something. In other words, I was being super pruriently nosy.

Did not realize it was a matter of showering, mess, etc.

Also, who is this mysterious Elle? And where are my pants? Who is this? Prank caller, prank caller!

JY

Hey Rich. I'm a long time, satisfied customer of yours. I'm not intending to wade into the wig debate - or WigGate as I've just now decided to call it. Personally, Nichole just doesn't do it for me like some of your girls (Carrie, for one).

I read your post about how you deal with your models and I could sense a little frustration. I just wanted to chime in and say that I have always appreciated the light, friendly (yet professional) attitude you have with them in your scenes. It's part of the reason why you're my favourite producer and the only I buy from regularly.

I understand this probably does mean as much as actual purchases, so I will definitely be supporting you with my wallet as well. It seems like the creepy elements within the WAM community are getting braver and bolder these days, so it's nice to have a prominent producer like yourself continue to be a true professional. Keep up the excellent work.

Thanks for all the kind words, guys. Mapwhap, your comment makes a lot of sense... I didn't think about the wig in terms of "taking you out" of the scene mentally, but that's exactly what it does, I guess.

And Nichole wasn't a "flake" or anything... She was concerned about damaging her hair, and I went along with her solution because it didn't seem like a big deal. She IS still interested in returning and that would be 100% wig-free, if/when that happens... We shall see.

Issues with hair, eyes, and lots of showers are probably the main stumbling blocks when bringing in new models. And honestly, I'm always down for anything that minimizes that hassle... Showers are unavoidable, but less shaving cream = Less eye irritation, for starters. Less scenes = Less showers. Things like that.

It will be interesting to see if Nichole's clips sell better edited. Maybe, maybe not. Anyway... The NEXT model in the queue is the complete antithesis of her, so if nothing else that might appeal to a different (bigger?) crowd!

You have shot models who wore wigs? I can honestly say I never realized that (minus the ones, of course, with the scene that called for it). And people don't like cute/hot girls with hats? I guess I am in the minority for that one haha

I was personally always a fan of the "top hat" look... In fact, that's the SS signature... And I always thought other hats were funny, like the bowler (gold lame to match the top & shorts!), the army cap or the "navy's girl" captain's hat. But, in general, I've found those scenes never sell as well, and I think the hat is a large part of it.

So eventually I started phasing the hats out. If they surface now (like in Megan's "tux" scene from SS123 or Carrie's from SS113), I use them for comic relief (the stuck hat!) and then the girl is hat-free well before the pies start.

Also, I *think* the baker's hat is still OK?? (Please tell me it's still OK!! I don't know what it is, but any time ANY woman dons a chef's hat, my first instinct is to think, "Someone should hit her with a pie....")

Yeah, I actually write that specifically into the script for the hat to be removed before any slime. In the case of Carrie's clip, I think Marissa (the hipster customer) goes, "I want a souvenir!" and pulled it off... And also pulled a big lock of Carrie's hair into the goo too! Good stuff.

Nope, baker's hat sucks too. Sorry!

I'm trying to think of hats that I'd want to stay on in the mud .... Not really coming up with any.

I will say that I could live with wigs if they're sort of cosplayish -- like the red one Jennifer Garner wore in ALIAS, or those pink bobs that are anime-related, I think? -- but if it just looks like regular hair but fake, that's where you lose me. Also if you have catfighting girls who rip out each other's extensions/wigs, that's always good.

That baker/chef hat is a BIG turn on for me. Maybe because it has an association with more than a few pie fight scenes ("The Great Race" for example). And don't know why I hadn't realized this before, but after looking at some recent MessyGirl Video Vault releases I can see that it's pretty easy to make one from just tissue paper and cardboard (there are tutorials on YouTube of course). Like you she uses real ones now, but the faux one is right in my gunge budget range. Schwing!!

Clearly, I have weird taste - i'm like the only one who seemingly likes the very early Red Wig/Jennifer Garner in ALIAS girl shoot, which I just for some reason you always saying didn't go or sell well. (She seems a pretty timid actress....but she's so cute!)

Oddly, I find the costumes work for whoever makes them work, meaning I associate a lot of things (chef hats, for example) with Rich's work. They tend to work best in a two-girl fight though, you've sort of perfected that, and ditto various aprons.

The top hats, i mean...it just depended on the girl to me. Sometimes it was a bit much and/or the girl didn't quite know how to pull off what you were going for, but then there's times where they nail it (or you nail them) precisely.

But you could probably just put a Mean Betty Jean rugby shirt and short shorts on a girl and splat the crap out of her, and i wouldn't complain. (Though come to think of it, more ponytails/braids might be nice?)

Anyway, rambling now...

Rich, you're the man now, dawg! (Or something.)

JY

Ponytails & braids are another one that could go either way... A few guys really like 'em, and for others it kills the scene.

I think it depends on the girl. I've had a few "uber-cute" ones that could pull it off well.

I LOVE chef's hats (and an apron) on a lady! They just look so cute, and like you said, Rich, it's like an open invitation to pie her!

Norman

I'll allow it.

I remember seeing a scene on TV where the guy was dressed as a clown and his wig came off while he was getting messy - that could be a good scene?

I had no clue any of Rich's models had ever worn wigs. The deal with Nichole -- as others have pointed out -- was simply how fake that one looked.

I'm one of those people for whom the hair is a huge part of a clip. The messier the hair, the better. At the same time, though, I respect Rich for being willing to work with his model and not force her to do something she didn't wanna do. Kudos for being a stand-up guy on that front.

I'm generally a fair of down hair, but ponytail or braids with a sporty-look (think sports bra and short-tights like the Shelly scenes) would def work!