My daughter is due in less than a month. Since I'm a single mother I won't be her primary care and my cousin and his wife will raise her. Despite that I still want to be part of her life and know how to care for her if I need to.
What experiences do you have with children and how should I be a good mother to my daughter when I'm not her primary care?
I don't have children myself, but I'm sure you'll do well! Spend time with her when you can. You can still show her support and love even if she's raised by someone else.
I have to remember being a child, because I have no children. Fortunately my memory is good in this matter. I also have experience being an involved auntie to an active little girl.
I think you're very lucky to have a cousin who will do this. It's very hard to raise a child alone, which, I'm guessing, is why your cousin will have her.
If your daughter cannot live with you, then your cousin and his wife will be the primary makers of rules. That means they will be the disciplinarians. As long as they're doing a good job, I would just let them be in charge of her. Don't nitpick. Only interfere if a problem is serious.
I do agree that you should know how to care for her. Because she's your daughter.
Also, if they're normal people, they are going to want a break now and then. The first person to call should be you.
And as she grows up, stay as involved with her as you can. Visit her when you can. Do things with her and take her places and listen to her.
One advantage you'll have over your cousin is that since you won't be living full-time with your daughter, you won't ever get tired of taking care of her.
As an auntie, I did make the most of that. My staying power during a whole day with my niece was way beyond what it would have been if I had her in my house 24 hours a day.
Love you, too
