"I've set up the camera. Dive into that watery patch of mud over there, drag yourself to the opposite bank and then dive back in. Are you cold yet?" "No, not yet"
..
"Nice job! I liked how you took your training vest off. Nice touch" "The mud gets everywhere. All down my back, my chest, my belly" "Those lycra shorts will keep the last part of you clean. Turn round, while I get a handful of mud. Great, now pull your waist band out at the front. That's it"
Plop, splat, plop.
"There you go. Nothing as humiliating as a handful of sloppy mud down the front of your shorts eh?. How does it feel?" "Umm, good. Strangely, good" "Okay, in that case, since you're a mate, I'll see if I can make things even more good"
..
"How does that feel now?" "Umm really good. Thanks. I think there's more mud down these shorts than in that pit" "Yeah, maybe. Your training is beginning to pay off. I noticed how firm your backside has got when I was rubbing mud over it" "Thanks" "I notice that's not the only thing in those lycra shorts that has got quite firm" "Umm, yes. Sorry about that it's just""It's okay, I understand. I reckon it's quite natural""Err, I reckon so. Those nice clean running shorts of yours seem to be tenting" "Ahha! I'm glad you noticed. What do you intend to do about that, then?" "You want me to do something about the clean running shorts or the tenting?" "Yes and yes" "Great. Are you going to turn the camera back on?" "Sod it, the battery is dead" "Never mind. Take that t-shirt off, dive into that watery patch of mud over there, drag yourself to the opposite bank and then dive back in, while I watch from this side.
Love you, too
