Well it was literally a super shitty Sunday!

I woke up my husband and I had zero plans. He said he was going to do yard work etc. I told him I was going to go for a long walk... anyways with 100% humidity and 95 degrees out the 5 mile walk seemed like 15! My sports bra and leggings were drenched! I got home and drank like 12 gallons of water! I was overheated and dripping! I looked out the back slider saw my hubby weed whacking on one side of the yard and my glistening, freshly tilled black mud pit on the other. I thought what better way to cool down then a good ol fashion mud bath! Peeled off all my clothing, let my hair down, stepped into the kitchen to poor myself a glass of red wine and grab my cigarettes and lighter. I stepped onto the porch and my husband Stops his Weedwhacker and says damn. I was like "not now"! Why now??? Then I thought oh.... butt naked, curly brown hair- soaking wet with sweat, my entire tan body glistening in sweat... probably should have just blown him! I just smiled instead at him. I walked down the steps and across the yard to my mud hole. I set my glass of wine down, lit a cigarette and stepped in... I slowly sank to my knees in the cool brownish black stinky mud. I look over my shoulder and he's salivating! I let out a giggle and he curses! I wallow like a little piglet for about 45 minutes! If you could picture it, I am absolutely covered from head to toe in glistening brownish black mud. I'm sitting upright in the middle of this mess recovering sipping my wine and having a cigarette ( those of you who mud bath and smoke know it is a skill all on its own to do it with your hands and face covered in wet, runny mud), then it happened!!!!
Sitting there completely relaxed, a massive seagull flys overhead and completely empty's itself and shits all over my face!

My husband said I was standing in the garage doorway crying with mud and bird shit dripping off my face. He said you could actually here the mud that was dripping off my tits plop! He thought a bunch of shreks gave me a bukkake party or someone threw paint at me!

I've always suspected the bastards have incredible aim. I live on the East Coast, and watch them accurately drop shellfish onto small rocks from 40-50 feet up w/o a problem. Might be a forum first for seagull shit, though.