What is the best way to go about trying to get a lady friend to pie me? Should I invite her over dab with her a bit get her nice and stoned and just be honest? Should I tell her I really would love for her to dominate me with pie?

We have hooked up a very long time ago and I haven't seen her for a year or so.
I dont want to scare her off and I honestly think she would pie me just on the funny friendship angle anyway. Maybe I prank her and hope she gets kind of upset and empties the can on me?

How would yall go about this if at all?

Honesty very much the best policy. (Plus if she's going to be facilitating you getting a sexual thrill, she really needs to know that.) Sounds like you know her fairly well, so hopefully you can frame it to her in a way that sounds fun and sexy.

Similar questions come up from time to time, and I insist that the bottom line is this: if what you're asking for is a sexual act for you, then the question is "how do I get this woman to agree to participate in sexual activity with me?" The details of your fetish are secondary.

If she is down to hook up with you again, then getting her to indulge your fetish is probably not a big deal.

If she is not down to hook up, then fetish stuff is off the table, right?

Finding some way to trick her into doing something to get you off is creepy, and everyone knows it. If you do that and then she finds out later that you planned it in order to get off - even went so far as to get advice on how to trick her - how do you think she'd feel? She'd never fucking talk to you again, and nobody could blame her. I mean, what if some guy tricked your mom or sister into doing something to get him off? How would you react?

She needs to first be a consenting participant in your sexual activity, otherwise you're not going to find too many people here willing to help you with advice.

I understand what both of you are saying. And appreciate the advice. My goal would never be to trick someone into a sexual favor or act either. I would have a friendly non sexual pie fight with her even just cause she is my friend. It dont even have to be like a 1 on 1 thing. If she pied me in a room full of people I wouldnt be mad at all, and I dont think she would lose it on me if I did that to her but she would at least probably act upset and chase me with the slop or something.

Id definitely prefer the sexual act after the pie fight and the one on one though. We go back like 15 years and she is always bitching on facebook about how she is depressed cause she is dating some fuckboy. I think if I ease her into this she will like this. I just feel weird saying I want you to pie me a bunch of times or vice versa.

How about bets? I see this stuff online alot on youtube. It seems like a friendly enough place to start. We play similar games and shit. Maybe I challenge her to some beer pong or ps4. Loser takes some pies sort of thing, and if she seems into it see where it gos from there. Is that foul to do that? Its still like we talked about it beforehand and there is consent. Not just a here wear this pie on your head sort of thing.

I have to say I'm baffled as to why this way round is perceived as so difficult a proposition - even with a kinky angle!

Be honest, for a start. It's only decent and right. Everyone make clear their boundaries. After that, you're not asking that much of someone to play a game where they are the dom and you the sub, surely? In fact, any kind of friend would relish the task. Just because there's an implied sex angle for one party doesn't mean it has to be grave and serious and can't be fun.

It just makes me worry that if she aint into it sexually, and I phrase it as a sex thing, that she has known me for 15 years and knows pretty much everyone I know in the real world and word will definitely get around.

It dont have to be a sex thing for me. I like it in various different applications. If she wasnt down with say a pie bet, and she told a bunch of our mutuals I tried to get her to make a pie bet, I dont think that would seem as weird to my vanilla friends as, if she said something like "he tried to get me to get naked and have a giant pie fight with him".

Having a fun bet that secretly gets you off isn't not unheard of but that doesn't mean it is ok.

Get your friend to watch Love Island with you. The show could help you broach the subject in a fun, approachable way. Get back to canoodling her, then hang out and watch Love Island and during one of their messy games bring up how sexy that is to you how much you'd like to try something similar with her. If that doesn't work, explain how you really wanna keep a safe, 6 foot separation even while having sex and throwing pies is the only viable way to do that.

You've know her a very long time so hopefully you have an idea of whether or not she would tell everyone you know but at the end of the day you'll never be certain and that's a risk you'll have to take if you want to get messy with a friend.

I hear you. I mean to some context yeah its going to feel good if it happens, and I will enjoy it whether its sexual or not. But if she consents to the love island thing or the potential bet they are both forms of consent right?

Like I wouldnt be embarrassed if she decided to tell people I tried to make a pie bet with her you get what I mean? Thats something a lot of people do with their friends and I suspect they have ulterior motives to pieng their friends sometimes also. But it feels way less taboo to ask her that or something of that nature.

Who knows she may get really into taking or giving a pie herself. I have watched many people take pies and only a very select few seem legit angry afterwards. She probably wouldn't completely hate it. But we havent even been in the same room for a year and some change. Like the whole pandemic. I think my best chance if I was going to try and do it would be a consensual bet or trying to smash a few times before telling her about my fetish. If I was currently fucking her I could just say hey anything interesting turn you on? I like this here. But thats not my current situation.

No, those are not the same. Two friends without a thing for pies making a pie bet is not the same thing as you making a pie bet because when you are doing it you are having her help get your rocks off without her knowledge. She would be consenting to the bet without knowing all the relevant information.

Having a conversation about what sex acts you'd like to try in the future is a respectful way to let someone choose what they are comfortable doing.


If it is common place to do this with ulterior motives that doesn't mean it's correct. Just because you can get away with it doesn't mean you should do it.


Yeah, you know her. You can probably judge pretty well if she would laugh off getting pied but, remember, those videos of people laughing it off weren't being pied by fetishitst or didn't know they were helping getting someone off and you can imagine that their responses might have been different had they known.


To reiterate, the point of consent is people are choosing to do things and when you trick someone by withholding pertinent information you are not allowing them to make those choices for themselves. Proper consent will never be your 'best chance'.

Wait till you are back to regularly satisfying her with your doodle-dasher and then bring up that you would like to try this.


Edit: Screwed up the quotes

Yeah, I just wouldn't if you're not going to be honest why you want to do it. It's not fair for her to unknowingly help you get off when she thinks you're just having fun. It's not illegal by any means and it happens all the time, but just as previous posters said, that doesn't make it okay. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

I've wammed with people before but I made it clear before I even pitched it that was what turns me on and they were cool with it. She might not be, but she needs to know the truth if you're gonna do it.

Only one option here and it's really simple - if you're in a relationship with her then talk about the fetish and get her involved. If you're not and you're just friends then you cannot (and please please don't) come up with a way of getting her to be involved in your fetish without her knowing it turns you on.

Blows my mind how often threads come up where purple go "I'm going to get my friend to indulge my fetish by randomly getting her messy!!"

Like... Don't do that? Everyone else has already explained why, but long story short it's just deceitful.

If you need further proof, I've never seen a thread where someone is going to mess up their friend this way followed up by a success story...

I get what yall mean. To reiterate though I do just watch girls take pies online sometimes and Im not even attracted to the girl getting pied. I more so just think its fun in that case. If I girl I wasnt attracted to pied me id laugh, try and get her back if she seemed cool with it. This bet would only have the chance to become more I guess cause I am attracted to her. Yall have detered me from asking for the bet though. I will try and figure out a more direct way to tell her.

I think I will go the trying to fuck her route first and then tell her after. She seems really mad at her bf. And I almost had a 3 way with this girl and another girl before already back in the day. I could probably smash fairly easy. And then find a more fair way to introduce her to wam.

So this girl has a boyfriend, apparently they're in a fight, and your reaction is to not be concerned about how she feels but just see a potential opportunity to smash.

You really sound like someone who respects girls and definitely doesn't just see them as things for you to fuck.

They aint really like official to my knowledge. And the way she been hating on this dude online for a month I dont think they are gonna be. Me and this girl got history. She has told me to fuck her before while she had a bf, but she was black out drunk so I passed. I got respect for her. I am asking this question so I dont force wam on her in this weirdest way possible.

Like I dont know where she stands on pies and relationships at the moment thats why I asked the question on the bet. But I would never take advantage of the chick. She is wifey material. She got full nude at my house hammered, and I just let her sleep in my bed and sleep in my guest room.

Okay, so why don't you tell her that getting pied is a thing for you and ask her if she wants to pie you?

If you're afraid that she'll laugh or tell people... then she's not "wifey material".

I get that dont sound like a weird question, cause we like pies. But to someone that may not like pies that can definitely be a weird question I feel. I would feel fine asking her to pie me if we were already in a relationship or steady fuck buddies. But as a friend just coming over to smoke it feels like a hard thing to ask her.

Im just going to avoid the wam thing until after I see if she is dtf. Seems the safest route to go.

I think she would have to pie herself in her tits, stuff her panties, stuff a pie in my pants or something for me to really make a sex thing out of it anyway.

Just a pie to her face or mine isnt really gonna get me to the point I have a visible boner around her. I have seen her full nude many times and hooked up with her. Thats kind of why I want to know how she would pie me. If its just a friendly "i got you pie." Id sit there shake my head, let her take a pic for the gram or something. But if she stuffed my pants pretty much right off the bat then Id know she wants it to.

Greasy plans to use weed and playstation to score perv action or advice on poaching someone else's gf aside, does anyone else feel like this whole thing was pieced together using a whole bunch of different greentext annecdotes from 4chan? Just sayin', but it's all over the frickin map.

Idk what the real story is, but I feel like a cashier at a liquor store whenever some minor tries to pass themselves off as an adult.

Please also treat people that you don't respect and who aren't wifey material correctly.


Not being visibly aroused doesn't make it ok. The point is your secret intention is enough to make it creepy and not ok.

So many issues here i don't know where to start!

Firstly the way you speak about this woman as someone to "fuck" - she's not something to just mess about with. I don't care what history you have with her, she's not yours to steal away from someone, however things appear online in her current relationship.

My advice, for the tiny amount it's worth, is to let whatever happens in her own life and relationship run whatever course it takes (IN PRIVATE) before you do anything at all. In the mean time, please stop talking about women like this on a public forum because, quite frankly, if she could see the way you are posting about her she'd run for the hills.

Sorry but I just find it disgusting how desperate this is coming across from you and it pisses me off how men can talk like this about us.

Its all good I can respect the criticism. This girl post every day about how dude aint shit, she needs better dick, she needs a more serious partner. Unless thats her kink just dominating this dude on Facebook like that, she really seems to not be taking it to serious. And I know from experience this girl likes fucking. I dont think she would care about any type of traditional sex talk. She is a former stripper and a bit bi.

Im definitely going to go with a more direct approach with her since so many are against the bet proposal.

But totally unrelated to the initial ? How can yall justify say a video of someone walking around as people if they would consent to getting hit with pies or take part in a public sploshing? If a bet is completely foul in your mind?There are so many tv shows 90 percent of us probably have seen doing stuff like that. Id bet money half the people taking the pies are at least curious what it would feel like, and that more than half the people looking for participants have wanted to dp that their whole lives.

You're missing the point(s) completely.

Asking people*

Na I get you think its foul. I dont get why if she agreed it would be foul. But since so many are against it I will try and find another way.

The first time I hooked up with this girl she randomly sat on my lap, squirmed around and said that feels good at a party infront of a bunch of people and then hooked up with me. She is definitely cool with turning me on. In a one on one or infront of others even potentially. Its the pies im unsure if she would be cool with.

We all understand wanting to WAM with a crush, but trying to hide the reason you want to pie her is considered fetish mining, and it is a violation of consent. In kink, you need to have complete transparency with anyone you do it to. I mean you're basically saying you're afraid to tell her the truth because you're afraid she'll say no. So anything else you try to do against that just feels like a violation of consent. Why don't you look into paying for a messy session with a model? Or use the personals forum for finding a mutual playmate or try FetLife, and find groups of kinky people in your area who will get messy with you? I feel like your fear of her telling anyone about this as your fetish means she's not trustworthy and that makes her an unreliable partner for you. You shouldn't ever have to feel that uncomfortable being honest with someone. There's no reason to lie to someone you genuinely like and want to have fun with. Try wamming with a mutual partner, there are plenty of models who offer sessions. Jayce's House Of Mess and Ariel's WAM Babes are two that I can think of. I know that Mypierogative was doing sessions too, I don't know if she still is. I hope this helps.