There was a great thread in the "straight" forum a while back where guys discussed the problems they'd had in long-term relationships and marriages with (female) non-wammers: https://umd.net/forums/i/long-term-relationships-with-n?start=0. That got me wondering: how many of you in the gay WAM community have been successful in finding a wammer boyfriend? Or if you're in a relationship with a non-wammer, how do you negotiate the fetish? Are they understanding and willing to indulge you, or have you maybe not broached the subject at all yet?
I've been a relationship with a non wammer for almost 25 years and he's known since shortly after our fifth year together that I was into male on male pie fights and mess play. We tried playing once together, but the connection just wasn't there so we sat down and discussed my going outside of the relationship when I wanted to get messy and he's been quite wonderful and accepting of my playing as long as I get to know the person first and we talk about what it is we want to do, use, etc, and we found what works for us. On a few occasions, he's actually watched and taped me and and others while we play. He also likes to talk about pieing me when we're in bed sometimes because he knows how much it get's me off to talk and fantasize about it. But the main thing is we found the balance and we've made it work. I'm not so sure though if I'd be as happy partnered to a fellow wammer. I rather enjoy having something that turns me on that's just mine and mine alone. Anyway, there's my two cents for what it's worth.
Personally my comfort through the years has grown, clearly, and I have dealt with it on 2 occasions in relationships.. I think I lucked out honestly... both of them at least humored the idea. But it was at least a year before I could tell either of them however those were different times for me. The first one did it because he saw how much it turned me on and thought he would give it a shot... we only got messy a few times while together whereas my last long term lover and I used to do it all the time once I came out to him as a wammer..... he was totally into the idea and was spontaneously doing things himself like making "too much" frosting and tying my up to the chair in the kitchen and that was that....... I say these days its not really a huge deal for the most part but it seems some people are in the mind to reject it as no way never. Since my little performance last year it seems that it became easier for me to disclose this to even potential lovers.... some say they would try it and some just move on to the shrimp. Personally I say whatever risk is involved its worth it because in the worst case scenario you're subject to plutonic play with other gunge buddies or just doing it solo..... but again.. I think its worth the risk because they will probably at least try it. If you're super close with them they should understand and be interested in supporting your interests.... and besides supporting fetish play is the shit.
I have a guy best friend (an ex actually) and he knows I am into wam and he does not mind getting me messy though he has only done it twice to me he is not really into wam like i am but as a laugh with me but he finds it a joke and not a fetish like me X
Love you, too
