Hello everyone.

Firstly, I'd just like to let everyone know that I am feeling a lot better after my breakdown in December. Thanks to everyone who sent messages of support, they really meant a lot to me. You are the most compassionate, tolerant, understanding bunch of people I know and I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without you.

I have been amusing myself over the past few weeks by doing Jimmy Carr's daily quiz on YouTube, so I thought I'd start one here. Each day I'll post a brainteaser for people to mull over with the answer(s) following 24 hrs later. No prizes, unfortunately, just the satisfaction of knowing that you're a clever clogs.

Feel free to post your own posers and any attempts at answers here.

So, to start off, here are 10 anagrams of stations on the British Rail network. How many can you unscramble?

1) Tory's Bumhole
2) Erect Mentor
3) Overripe Toilet Smell
4) A Dalek Wife Gets Wet
5) Tag Ron The Wanker
6) Maintaining Manlier Throb
7) Ensure Tapeworms
8) No Healthy Semen
9) Grotesque Wet Angels
10) A Tangible Effusion

Stay safe and keep well.

Wamadeus

Haha.... I'm not even going pretend I'm bright enough to attempt the quiz, but I had to respond, saying how happy I am that your feeling better, and how awesome an idea this is!!

Big hug buddy xx

Hi Lisa.

You should know number 7, if you think about it.

In all seriousness, it's good to be back. The work you have done to highlight issues around mental illness and neurodiversity along with the support of this community has been instrumental in that.

Much love and respect

Wamadeus

I have got number 7 but I will let Lisa guess first.

I'm trying to figure out the rest but they are hard.

Hello Everyone.

Gold star for Messybrad who got full marks. It also helps me as it saves me having to type out the answers, you can just read his post.

Today, it's music. Below are the former names of ten well known bands. How many can you identify?

1) Tom and Jerry
2) Atomic Mass
3) The Young Aborigines
4) Smile
5) The Rain
6) Girls Tyme
7) Composition of Sound
8) The Band Aid Boys
9) On a Friday
10) Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem.

Good luck - answers this time tomorrow.

Wamadeus

Hi All.

Answers from yesterday.

1) Tom and Jerry = Simon and Garfunkel
2) Atomic Mass = Def Leppard
3) The Young Aborigines = The Beastie Boys
4) Smile = Queen
5) The Rain = Oasis
6) Girls Tyme = Destiny's Child
7) Composition of Sound = Depeche Mode
8) The Band Aid Boys = Bone Thugs n Harmony
9) On a Friday = Radiohead
10) Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem. = Red Hot Chili Peppers

How many did you get?

For today's questions, you need to find the connection between each set of three things.

1) Celine Dion, Julio Iglesias, Olivia Newton - John
2) Mario Zagallo, Didier Deschamps, Franz Beckenbauer
3) Benito Mussolini, Nicolae Ceausescu, Robert Mugabe.
4) Maldives, Seychelles, Nauru
5) Kitchen, Dining Room, Conservatory
6) River Tyne, River Shannon, River Thames
7) Beetle, Spider, Frog
8) Paris, Linz, Prague
9) 0.7734, 38076, 5318008
10) Nicholas II, Louis XVI, Charles I.

Good luck to one and all - answers tomorrow.

Wamadeus

Hello folks.

Answers time from yesterday. Messy Brad got most of them but here they are.

1) Celine Dion, Julio Iglesias, Olivia Newton - John
All competed in the Eurovision song contest. Celine Dion actually won in 1988 for Switzerland with "Ne partez pas sans moi"

2) Mario Zagallo, Didier Deschamps, Franz Beckenbauer
The only three to have won the FIFA men's world cup as both player and manager. Rudi Voeller has participated in the final as both player and manager - winning as a player in 1990 but losing as a manager in 2002.

3) Benito Mussolini, Nicolae Ceausescu, Robert Mugabe.
All stripped of UK honours - Orders of the Bath.

4) Maldives, Seychelles, Nauru
The smallest countries by area in their continents - Asia, Africa and Oceania respectively. Vatican City (Europe), St Kitts and Nevis ( North America) and Suriname ( South America) complete the list.

5) Kitchen, Dining Room, Conservatory
All rooms in the Cluedo/Clue mansion

6) River Tyne, River Shannon, River Thames
All have UK shipping forecast areas named after them.

7) Beetle, Spider, Frog
All forms of patience/solitaire

8) Paris, Linz, Prague
All Mozart symphonies

9) 0.7734, 38076, 5318008
All spell words when typed into calculator and turned upside down - hello, globe and boobies.

10) Nicholas II, Louis XVI, Charles I
All executed by their own people.


For today, here are 10 jokes told about musicians. Can you fill in the blanks?


1) How do you get two _______ to play in tune? Shoot one of them.
2) How many ______ does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they are so drunk that they just hold the lightbulb and the room revolves by itself.
3) What is the difference between a ______ and an onion? Nobody cries when you cut up a _____.
4) How can you tell if a stage is level? The _______ drools out of both sides of his mouth.
5) What is the difference between a ______ and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.
6) What do you call a _______ with Grade 1? Gifted. What do you call a _____ with Grade 2? A liar.
7) Why are the hearts of ________ so desired for transplants? Because they've had so little use.
8) Why is a ______ solo like premature ejaculation? You know it's coming but there's nothing you can do about it.
9) How many ______ does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it's far too high for them.
10) Did you hear about the ______ who locked his keys in his car? They had to smash the window to get the _____ out.


Answers tomorrow.

Wamadeus

I want to respond Paul McCartney to every single joke because I do not care for him, but i'm probably wrong.

Just for clarification....

I am looking for answers such as "pianist" or "cellist" as opposed to the names of individual artists.

My favourite joke about an artist comes from the late, great Kenny Everett who introduced the BeeGees with the line "Great, don't they?" Personally speaking, I have never understood the appeal of men singing like they've just been kicked in the knackers, although each to their own.

Wamadeus

Ok folks, answers time.

1) Flautists
2) Trombonists
3) Oboe
4) Drummer
5) Soprano
6) Viola player
7) Conductors
8) Guitar
9) Altos
10) Bass guitarist, Drummer

Well, we have to amuse ourselves whilst counting 100+ bars rest somehow.

For today, here are 10 works of modern art. But who are the artists?

Good Morning Everyone.

With "Left Bank Two" playing in the background, here are the answers.

Top row left to right

Piet Mondrain
Georgia O'keefe - It's supposed to be a flower, folks.
Roy Lichtenstein
Grant Wood
Wasiliy Kandinsky

Bottom row left to right

Jackson Pollock
Pablo Picasso
Rene Magritte
Christo - I was lucky enough to be living in Berlin when this took place
Tracey Emin


Now from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Movie titles don't always cross cultures well. For example the movie "Knocked Up" was released in Peru under the title "Slightly Pregnant" whilst in the Czech Republic, "Bad Santa" was translated as "Santa is a Pervert."

Below are the titles from the Chinese releases of some famous movies. All utterly hilarious but can you identify them?


1) United States Cheat Bureau
2) Seabed General Mobilisation
3) Ace Big Cheap Spy
4) His Great Device Makes Him Famous
5) Mysterious Murder In Snowy Cream
6) Satan Female Soldier
7) Six Naked Pigs
8) Big Liar
9) I Will Marry A Prostitute To Save Money
10) Super Power Dare Die Team


Answers tomorrow, if I can stop laughing in time.

Wamadeus

OK, time for a good laugh as here are the answers.

1) United States Cheat Bureau - American Hustle
2) Seabed General Mobilisation - Finding Nemo
3) Ace Big Cheap Spy - Austin Powers
4) His Great Device Makes Him Famous - Boogie Nights
5) Mysterious Murder In Snowy Cream - Fargo ( Is this the wam version? )
6) Satan Female Soldier - G.I. Jane
7) Six Naked Pigs - The Full Monty ( A bit harsh, don't you think? )
8) Big Liar - Nixon ( I think the Chinese title is better )
9) I Will Marry A Prostitute To Save Money - Pretty Woman
10) Super Power Dare Die Team - Ghostbusters

For today, here are ten symbols found on musical scores. What are they?

Answers tomorrow.

Wamadeus.

Greetings Culture Vultures.

Answers are as follows.

Top row left to right

Flat
Semiquaver (or sixteenth note to our American friends)
Treble Clef
Segno
Alto Clef

Bottom row left to right

Bass Clef
Crotchet (or quarter note) rest
Sharp (I hope nobody said hashtag )
Coda
Repeat


More spot the connections for today.

1) Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Virginia
2) Blinky, Pinky, Inky, Clyde
3) Ampere, Mole, Candela, Kelvin
4) Chile, France, Australia, Norway
5) South Sudan, Kosovo, Serbia, Montenegro
6) Grumpy, Happy, Sneeze, Uppity
7) The Buggles, Pat Benetar, Rod Stewart, The Who
8) Wedge, Screw, Pulley, Lever
9) Teacher, Doctor, Cowboy, Constable
10) Wags, Spectre, Pin, Basic

Answers tomorrow


Wamadeus

I could've got the musical symbols one, but can only get no.3 on this. Are they all for scientific mesurments (not sure how they're linked!)

Hello folks.

First off, thanks for all your likes for this thread, much appreciated.

OK, answers time.

1) Kentucky, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Virginia
These are the four states in the US who describe themselves as "Commonwealths"

2) Blinky, Pinky, Inky, Clyde
The four ghosts in Pac Man

3) Ampere, Mole, Candela, Kelvin
SI base units.

4) Chile, France, Australia, Norway
Countries with territorial claims on Antarctica. Argentina, New Zealand and the UK complete the list.

5) South Sudan, Kosovo, Serbia, Montenegro
The four most recently created independent countries.

6) Grumpy, Happy, Sneeze, Uppity
Mister Men

7) The Buggles, Pat Benetar, Rod Stewart, The Who
The first four artists to have videos played on MTV

8) Wedge, Screw, Pulley, Lever
Simple machines

9) Teacher, Doctor, Cowboy, Constable
Carry-On films

10) Wags, Spectre, Pin, Basic
Acronyms.
Wags = Wives and Girlfriends
Spectre = Special Executive for Counter-Intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion.
Pin = Personal Identification Number
Basic = Beginners All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code

For today something very close to (my) home. Along with Scousers and Glaswegians, Geordies are renowned for having a rather impenetrable dialect. One of my favourite moments was Mypierogative learning what a " Canny Bag O Tudor" was at a Newcastle splunch.

So can you tell me what the following ten Geordie words mean. Some may look like regular English words but have completely different meanings.

N.B. Ah divvent want nee Geordies deeing this. That's cheetin !!

1) Netty
2) Dog
3) Buzzem
4) Shan
5) Chuddy
6) Stottie
7) Candyman
8) Spuggy
9) Mazer
10) Dubble Raa

Eyes doon, luk in.

Wamadeus

I know No2 (hic!). The rest are indeed, impenetrable!

As a bit of a clue, number 1 is where you end up when you've had too much number 2


Wamadeus

Alreet me marras. Answers time.


1) Netty = Toilet
2) Dog = Newcastle Brown Ale
3) Buzzem = Broom (Anyone who said boobies, shame on you )
4) Shan = Disgraceful, Shocking
5) Chuddy = Chewing Gum
6) Stottie = Type of bread
7) Candyman = Bailiff (Who evicted miners from their homes during strikes)
8) Spuggy = Sparrow
9) Mazer = An eccentric (Hey, wor Nan's a Mazer - sing alaang noo)
10) Dubble Raa = Row of terraced houses (Where wor Geordie lost hes penka. It raad reet doon the cundy)

As for that "Canny Bag O Tudor"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2UfzAQ8Pfg


For today, straightforward general knowledge.

1) What was President Harry S Truman's middle name?
2) Which fictional character coins the phrase " I pity the fool" ?
3) Who released a 7" single in the UK entitled "Major Tom" ?
4) Who first coined the phrase "Survival of the Fittest"?
5) Where is the driest place on earth?
6) Why do chameleons change colour?
7) What do you use to write on a blackboard?
8) Which country has the largest tiger population?
9) After which animal are the canary islands named?
10) When did the third millennium AD begin?

Answers tomorrow.

Hello everyone. Answers time.

My assertion that this was "straightforward" general knowledge was a little tongue in cheek.
These questions are in the QI "general ignorance" vein. They are not "trick" questions in that they have proper answers, just not the ones that most people think.

1) What was President Harry S Truman's middle name?

"S." His parents couldn't decide whether to make his middle name Solomon (maternal grandfather) or Shippe (paternal grandfather) so chose the letter S by itself as it could represent either.

2) Which fictional character coins the phrase " I pity the fool" ?

Clubber Lang in Rocky III. Not, as many believe, BA Baracus in the A-Team who never says this. Neither is the answer Mr T, as that was the name of the actor, not the character.

3) Who released a 7" single in the UK entitled "Major Tom" ?

Peter Schilling, not David Bowie. The original Bowie 7" was called "Space Oddity." "The Continuing Story of Major Tom " was released as a 12" and only in the USA.

4) Who first coined the phrase "Survival of the Fittest"?

Herbert Spencer, not Charles Darwin. Spencer used it to describe Darwin's theories in a book of his own, which Darwin later read. He agreed this was a suitable summary of his position and adopted it for himself.

5) Where is the driest place on earth?

The dry valleys of Antarctica. They have no snow and no rainfall.

6) Why do chameleons change colour?

To reflect mood and control temperature but never to blend in with surroundings.

7) What do you use to write on a blackboard?

Gypsum, not chalk, as any teacher will tell you.

8) Which country has the largest tiger population?

Given that so many are kept as pets here, the answer is USA.

9) After which animal are the canary islands named?

Their Spanish name (Islas Canarias) from which the anglicised name originates, means Islands of Dogs. So not canaries, then.

10) When did the third millennium AD begin?

2001. We all celebrated the millennium a year early, as simple arithmetic can show.
Key to understanding this is that the year which followed 1BC was 1AD. Thus the first century AD is 1-100 (as 1-99 would only contain 99 years) making the second century 101-200 AD and so on. This makes the first millennium 1-1000 AD, the second 1001-2000 AD and the third 2001-3000 AD.

For today, here are the titles of 10 pieces of music which are the theme tunes to classic UK television programmes. Can you name the programmes?

1) Quiz wizard
2) Journey of the Sorcerer
3) Approaching Menace
4) Peak Performance
5) Eye Level
6) In the night
7) Soul Limbo
8) Forcefield
9) College Boy
10) Nantucket Sleighride

Bonus point if anyone can tell me what a "Nantucket Sleighride" is.

Answers tomorrow.

Wamadeus

The only one of the ten I know is No 3, which is Mastermind.

But I think I know the bonus...

A Nantucket Sleighride is a whaling term, presumably coined on/named for the US east coast around Massachusetts, and refers to the old days of that activity. The sailors would be in a small boat and shoot a harpoon into a whale. The whale would then try to escape, dragging the boat and occupants with it. This alarming journey was the "sleighride".

I've got my childhood addiction to Willard Price books to thank for that knowledge...

Hello everyone.

Well done to Messybrad for getting the theme tunes and moreslime for the perfect definition of a Nantucket Sleighride.

1) Quiz wizard = Blockbusters - Students asking Bob Holness if they can have a "p" or an "e"

2) Journey of the Sorcerer = Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Giggling at Slartibartfarst.

3) Approaching Menace = Mastermind - How to scare the shit out of contestants before we've even started asking the questions.

4) Peak Performance = Treasure Hunt - The show that made Anneka Rice's lycra clad bum a star and many a teenage boy excited. (So I'm told :kiss

5) Eye Level = Van der Valk - One of only five TV theme tunes to be UK number one.

6) In the night = Clothes Show - Pet Shop Boys song about pacifist beatniks in Nazi occupied France

7) Soul Limbo = BBC Cricket - "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey."

8) Forcefield = Crystal Maze - "Will you start the fans, please."

9) College Boy = University Challenge - Bamber Gascoigne was much better than Paxman.

10) Nantucket Sleighride = Weekend World - Selected at random from John Birt's record collection when LWT bosses couldn't decide on a theme tune.

A sort of "matters arising" collection today.

1-4) I said above that Eye Level was one of only five TV theme tunes to make UK no 1. Can you name the other four? One is well worth the accolade whilst the other three will make you cringe.

5) Speaking of answers that will make you cringe, what is the best selling single of all time in the UK?

6) What links a defunct PSP storage device, an educational institute in College Park and our good selves?

7) Who is the only person to have been both President and Vice-President of the US, without ever having been elected to either office?

8) Many songs contain subtitles in parenthesis either before or after the main title e.g. (I can't get no) Satisfaction or Single Ladies (put a ring on it). However, what is the only chart hit to contain two sets of parenthesis, one before and one after the main title?

9-10) Speaking of parenthesis in chart hits, fill in the blank. There are two possible answers. Everybody's Free ( Blank).

Answers tomorrow

Wamadeus

Hello everyone.

Firstly, a little bit of news. I am unfortunately going to have to take a few days hiatus from doing this quiz.

Just when I think my life cannot get any more Kafkaesque, I received a call from the NHS shielding service yesterday afternoon, stating that I should have been one of the 1.5 million or so that were sent a shielding letter four weeks ago but for whatever reason this did not happen.

As such I have been instructed to stay at home until 1st July at the earliest and not go out for any reason. My next few days are going to have to be spent doing a lot of organising. I will need to sort out food parcels as I now cannot leave the house to go shopping, I live on my own and supermarket delivery slots are like hen's teeth at the moment. There is also the issue of organising my medication.

I have a telephone meeting with my social care provider this afternoon and will have to have further conversations with my GP, consultants, employer, local social services and voluntary organisations over the next few days. The time and energy this will take will be all consuming, leaving little time or energy for doing other things such as researching questions.

Please bear with me and normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

So for the last time for several days at least, here are yesterday's answers.

1-4) Suicide is Painless (Mash) , Teletubbies say eh oh, Bob the Builder, Bring it All Back (Miami 7) - Told you they were cringey.

5) Candle in the Wind 97 ( Princess Diana Memorial) Elton John

6) They all describe themselves as UMD - Universal Media Disc, University of Maryland and of course the original and best Ultimate Messy Directory.

7) Gerald Ford. Appointed VP on resignation of Spiro Agnew, appointed POTUS on resignation of Nixon and lost subsequent election to Jimmy Carter.

8) (You gotta) Fight for your Right ( To Party) - Beastie Boys

9-10) You can fill the brackets with either "To Feel Good" or "To Wear Sunscreen"

As Arnie said, "I'll be back!"

Wamadeus

Oh Wamadeus,

Please take care! One job at a time! Big love and I'm sure we'll all still be here when you feel you want to return to this xx

OK, I'm back.

Everything is now organised but it took far longer and was far more hassle than I had ever anticipated. To while away some of the time I have been reading a book called "Crap Lyrics," about the utter horseshit that regularly passes for song lyrics. Get a copy if you can, it is utterly hilarious.

This inspired me to do today's quiz. Below are the rather strange lyrics from 15 1980s hits. Can you name the song title and artist?


He's an Avon representative.

Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.

Got to find a way, find a way to get away.

Bosh, bosh, bosh, loadsamoney.

Albert said that E=MC2

Stealing cake to eat the moon

Aurora Borealis comes in view.

Special effects by lunatic and drinks.

You make me steal unstealable things.

I'm up the bloody tree.

The queens we use would not excite you.

Casserole your Gran.

Enjoy this trip and it is a trip.

Right, whop it out.

If I was in your blood, then you wouldn't be so ugly.

Answers tomorrow evening.

Wamadeus

Yes!!!

You are back!!!

Xxxxxx

Yay for being back!


Bosh, bosh, bosh, loadsamoney.
- The Timelords - Doctorin the Tardis (a KLF project)

Albert said that E=MC2
- Landscape - Einstein A Go Go

I'm up the bloody tree.
- I can remember that lyric but not what it's from!

The queens we use would not excite you.
- Murray Head - One Night In Bangkok

Casserole your Gran.
- Spitting Image - The Chicken Song (classic!)

Enjoy this trip and it is a trip.
- S-Express - The Theme From S-Express (which I still have the 12" "Herbal Tea Casualty Remix" of round here somewhere).

Hello everyone.

Instead of typing out the answers, here are links to the songs themselves. For our non-British viewers or anyone under 40, be prepared for a WTF fest. For those of us lucky enough to have been there, a stroll down memory lane awaits

He's an Avon representative.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MqMZ6XqMfc

Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ7TFHIQKCk

Got to find a way, find a way to get away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE8Aq6_el3Q

Bosh, bosh, bosh, loadsamoney.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnFR_5-EyiA

Albert said that E=MC2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZqUNEHYZgQ

Stealing cake to eat the moon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PebH4X097Lg

Aurora Borealis comes in view.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpfWORQWhU

Special effects by lunatic and drinks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qxqq5vahHKk

You make me steal unstealable things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmD0ZArJfJQ

I'm up the bloody tree.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW_m8lhZbQQ

The queens we use would not excite you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgc_LRjlbTU

Casserole your Gran.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWZKuuFli2o

Enjoy this trip and it is a trip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpeRShWMdYM

Right, whop it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULeDlxa3gyc

If I was in your blood, then you wouldn't be so ugly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUwdQGb-CBI

Questions for today:

Here are 10 mnemonics but what are they supposed to help you remember.

Easter Bunnies Get Drunk At Easter
My Very Excited Mother Just Served Us Noodles
Dirty Kinky People Can Often Find Great Sex
Fanboys
I Value Xylophones Like Cows Drink Milk
May I Have A Large Container Of Coffee
Tea, Coffee, Coca-Cola
Raven
Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle
Podgy Elves May Demand A Snack


Answers tomorrow.

Rock on.

Wamadeus

Hi

Given that Messybrad has got all the answers, I'll just get on with today's question.

Below are the pictures of 10 buildings, but where in the world are they?

I'm looking for the cities they are in.

Answers tomorrow.

Wamadeus

5 is Reykjavik cathedral. I feel like I should know 8 but can't think of it...

3 is Newcastle, the more famous view is taken from the tower looking at the railway junction, which used to be a spectacular display of diamond crossings, but has been greatly simplified in the modern era.

8 is Liverpool's Roman Catholic cathedral.