So when do you guys think is moment to tell gf about wam or fetish you have. I seen my gf for 5 months so far. sex is not something planned yet or upcoming soon.

I guess every relationship is different, so it's not easy to give advice. At some point, there will be a moment when you discuss sexual preferences. Usually that would be after having sex... Take that first opportunity, because the longer you wait, the harder it gets! If you wait too long, it will feel like confessing to having a big secret...

The other way to bring it up is to introduce some harmless romantic stuff into the game, like whipped cream, chocolate, strawberries and take it from there...

As early and as honestly as possible. Don't kid yourself that it's a minor detail.

PM me if you wish.

I've always told my partners early on in a relationship to feel them out. I'd rather know ASAP if it were a dealbreaker for them than to keep it in and find out far down the line. When you're ready to do it, you'll know. I find people appreciate the honesty and openness of sharing it with them. Definitely no rush to tell, but don't hold out to a point that it seems like you're hiding a huge secret from her. I know multiple people who got to the point of marriage and never told their partners and it didn't bode well for them. Best of luck to you!

You could always give her my book on sploshing

I'm a big advocate of having the talk early on, preferably in a conversation where both are sharing kinks.

PP is dead on target here. Again, before they accept "WAM"...they have to accept you. Once they accept you...they will accept HEARING about your kink/fetish. THEN they have to decide if it's a "dealbreaker." If it is.....you move on. Sometimes it may hurt to move on....but as PP says....the hurt of continuing without communicating will be far worse.

Robby

I'll leave this here because it DOES have to do with Messy, but pleas check out 'relationships' under groups. There have been some excellent discussions there.

All I can add here is treat WAM like sex. If you're talking about sex you should be talking about kinks.

Having been in a situation with some similarities I would say it would probably be a good idea to at least test the waters a little before too long.

For context, when I got together with Mrs Piechap while at university I was still a virgin. We were together 6 months before we finally had sex, mainly - to be blunt about it - because I was scared of losing my virginity. During those six months the future Mrs Piechap was very patient with me. I had never mentioned wam in those six months, though obviously I'd thought about it. But once we'd finally done the deed in terms of sex I wasn't sure how to bring up the question of my fetish, and the longer I left it the more daunting it seemed. In the end I eventually told her several years into our relationship, and did almost everything wrong in terms of making it seem like a really big deal and like I had some terrible secret.

The happy ending to the story is that once she got over the initial surprise/confusion (she had never heard of WAM) she has been accepting of my fetish, and we wam together (though much less frequently now we have kids). She definitely wishes I'd told her sooner and in a less dramatic way though - and so do I!

How and when you do ultimately bring it up is of course up to you, but my advice (fwiw) would be soon-ish and in a low key way. Of course sex not being on the horizon, for whatever reason, in the near future may complicate that conversation, or not. Most of all, good luck!

I'm guessing someone hacked your account. This reply was far too dignified and mature.

I did it before we were dating. It is actually what got us talking more again. I don't know what led to it or why but there was a post about chocolate cake or something. We got talking and she brought up that she had tried Jello wrestling. I told her all about my fetish and she seemed open to it. We had a session when she first came out for a visit and have been going strong ever since. It is all about the feelers and knowing when to sneak things in here or there.