Inspired by Robby's recent autobiographical post, and the mention of "unicorns", I thought I'd share some of my history of where many, if not most, of my story-prompts and dialogue originated.

(to admins: I'm not sure if this post should go here or in Messy)

For the record, I dislike the term. It implies that women, generally, aren't into WAM (or in my case, pie in the face play). That has most certainly not been my experience.


The Provocative Tutor
In college, I needed some help with a math subject, and classmate asked if she could help. In retrospect, it's clear she was interested but at the time I was absolutely clueless. After our first tutoring session (Calculus-III if you need to know), she asked me to pick her up at her dorm & we'd then walk to the library.

She gave me a tour of the tiny room: bed with satin sheets, candles everywhere, and an attached but tiny bathroom with shower decked out with soaps and oils. (Again: clueless). Cute, smart, kind, and funny.

Much of the dialogue I write for the sexually-aggresive smart-assed women in my stories is based on this tutor. "I have a question..", I'd say. "If it's 'please take off your clothes' the answer is yes." was a typical response from her. "Chapter 3, this is where we get naked..", or her creating a test for me for which the variables in the answers spelled "f u c k m e p l e a s e".

She was so forward (she looooved sex) that most men she'd date would ghost. Not me. And, we did a lot of pie play; she loved it, despite not being what we'd call a WAMmer. Or a pie in the face freak. But she was a very sex-positive person, and genuinely had a great time during pie-play. She even recommended that we visit every place in Rockford, IL we could find that sold pies, and test them all. Not a unicorn. Just a real person with whom I had some chemistry.

(I just remembered, we trashed my dorm room with 12 cans of shaving cream made into pies. These were the old, tall cans, so that was a LOT of shaving cream. Incredible sex; dry sore skin for a week.)

The Gwench
I used to play music for a poetry group. To give you a clue as to the era, most of the women had Tori-Amos-red hair, and most of the men looked and dressed like corvids. I didn't look like a corvid, just dressed like one. I was more of a highly-talkative charcoal pencil. Enter: Gwench. Gwen, who also was a Ren Faire junkie, hence: Gwench. A goofy, tall, skinny, big-boobed brainiac. Though I wasn't "her type", we hit it off.

After one evening of too much wine and not enough sense, and a lot of sexual tension, we somehow got on the subject of kinks and fetishes. ("Somehow.. yeah right.. *cough cough*). When I mentioned naked pie fights, she nearly leapt out of her skin. "Yes! When? I'm there!"

She's the source for a lot of "I deserve it.." and "Let me have it" classic lines, as well as her eagerness to get naked. We did a lot of role-play, and "Here's a box with your uniform, please go wear what's in it", where there's nothing in the box and hence nothing on the Gwench. She also was very eager to take a pie, or six. She loved it - again, despite not being what we'd consider a WAM festishist. To point, she never did it again after our time together. But we're still in touch, and still talk about it, and she has said to me, since, that it was the most erotic week of her life.

We pied each other every day (she'd take 4 or 5 pies in the face before hitting me with the last one), role-played and did skits, nearly froze experimenting with cool-whip pies, kept finding almond flakes in strange places from the banana cream pies, and pieces of coconut from the coconut cream pies. We ruined every set of bedsheets I had. We were naked for every moment we were in my apartment. (Ah, youth...)


The genuine WAMmer
Ok, so this one is wild, even to me. The Ralph's supermarket near where I lived at the time in L.A. had an excellent bakery counter, and there were usually a few pies on display. Good-looking pies, too; large, and loaded with whipped cream. I was checking out the merch one day (ahem) and saw a woman, tapping her teeth doing the same.

I said, "Can't decide?" and she smiled at me, "Not really". I asked "Can I help? It is for eating, or for throwing?"

She didn't even flinch, but still smiling said, "Maybe both?"

I recommended the banana cream pie. She ordered two. Then she asked me, "What about you?" And I said, "Both." and I ordered the two remaining banana cream pies.

Absolutely straight-faced, she said "good choice". And this is where we clicked. I said "I feel like I'm robbing a bank." She looked at me and said "ME too."

Now, this is my memory of the scene, and I'm probably paraphrasing the latter half of it. But the jist is there. We walked around Ralphs, together, talking, and I offered to make her dinner. It was a date.

She's the source of most, if not all, of my meet-cutes where two pie fetishists meet and hook up.

And, from her I learned a couple of things: 1. There were a lot of WAMmers in Los Angeles (at the time). Burlesque was popular at the time, and pie in the face fetishists tended to congregate where there were - wait for it - scantily clad buxom women and pies thrown in faces every evening. 2. Just because you share a kink good partners does not make. We had fun in the bedroom (oh boy did we) but problems outside of it.

The Hip Hop Dancer
I dated a lot through dating sites, including one that sounds like E Marhony. One had a username similar to "cheeky devil", which I discovered later, was due to her deep kink for being spanked, bound, and so on. We hit it off in general, and started to date. By date three, she had me watch The Secretary with her, and I told her about naked pie fights. She was not into it, at all, but very willing to entertain her kink with me.

And, I forgot to mention, she was a bombshell. Gorgeous, great lips, an incredible body, and used to be a hip hop dancer for MTV. Yep, bombshell in a bikini dancing on the beach in the 90s. Absolutely not my type, at all, but I was very willing to learn.

Eventually, we got to the point where she'd pie me, and I'd bind and spank her. She grew to love how I looked pied, and loved the feeling and experiences of the "consequences" for pieing me. I did pie her once, and she took it, but asked not to do that again. Lesson here was: we made it work as best we could, which is much more preferable to trying to find a "unicorn".

Next time: The Theater Student, The Sex-Toy Entrepreneur, The Sensualist, and the Professional Girlfriend.

(Seeing a theme here.. hmm. Los Angeles and San Francisco. What can I say?)

Love these, and looking forward to the next part already.

It makes me realise what can happen if you just have a little confidence and are willing to put yourself out there a bit. Goodness I wish I'd realised that when I was at university!

The Theater Student

During my final year of college, I met a freshman who was in the theater program. And she was my type! I flirted a lot, but was pre-occupied with my final year projects. We became friends, and would hang out a lot. We laughed a lot together, lots of wit to go around, and she had (and still has) a deeply bubbly silly streak.

After I left school and moved to the Big City ( TM, patent pending), we'd be on the phone, or see each other on weekends when a bunch of us would get together.

Finally, during a phone call, she blurted out that she had a crush on me, a big one, and how much of an idiot was I not to notice?

Well then! So, we dated. Love, lust, houses on fire. She was an avid bedroom-role-player, could not keep her clothes on (either this is a trend, or we men are 100% clueless as to what women really like to do), and liked to "clown around" in her words. Again: not a fetishist, and not a wammer. But someone deeply sensual with a drive to create erotic experiences. As soon as I mentioned naked pie fights, she burst into loud laughter (she was loud), took my hand and said, "Lets go!"

We had our first pie in the face skit that day. And at least a couple of times a week, she'd ask me "Want to do pies?". She had the training, and interest, to comically take a pie with the best of them. And she loved (and I mean loooved) to pie me. She's the source of a lot of the goofiness I put into some of the characters, as well as the character to love to see their man pied, and find it very sexy. For her, it wasn't just how I looked, but how I reacted to getting pied. A man who would willingly take a pie, and take it so well & comically, was attractive to her. And, pieing me turned her on. Not so with other lovers, it turned out - whatever we had together did it for her, and each circumstance with each person was different.

Wise woman.

The Sex Toy Entrepreneur.
Quite simply the most sexual woman I've ever met. She said this to me on our second or third date: "Sex is very important to me. I need to have sex every day.", and "I have an oral thing. I love giving blowjobs." Among other things. She was smart - she let me know right away what was important to her.

She did have a kink, though, and it provided some shame: She liked to dress in ridiculously revealing and sexy clothes, and role-play a "slutty" character. I referred to it as a "character who is sex-hyper-positive and knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it". It took a while for us to play together for her to work through her shame, and be free of it. Of course I told her about pies, and she was into it, "...but not all of the time".

She's the source for the overtly sexual dialogue, the breathy, whispered "fuck me.." and so on. (One evening, fine dining, she sat next to me in the booth and whispered this stuff in my ear, along with her desire to get pied. She knew how to light me up.)

Her role play was superb, too. The first time we played with pies, she immediately played the role of a willing, sexy naif: "A pie? I don't understand.. Is it time for dessert? Is that for meee?" and so on.

And, she was another one who Could. Not. Keep. Her. Clothes. On. Which, I guess is a thing for me, because I'm attracted to the nudies out there. My characters who run around the apartment naked all of the time? Just about everyone I've ever successfully dated. (cue wistful sighs)

Our respective work pulled us to different cities, and try as we might, the distance was too challenging. We're still friends, and we still adore each other, having moved on. Cue sad violins, but also cue end credits, because it was a great time!


The you-will-not-believe-this-but-it's-true story.
Quick one.
Just after college, I dated a dance student. I was one of a few rotating musicians for the group, and I was "her" class' accompanist. (We rotated classes, I didn't sit on a bench and spin, just to be clear).

Dancers are, for the most part, not shy about their bodies, out of necessity and context. You run offstage, strip to nearly nothing, and get into the next scene's costume, all in a very short time. Keep that in mind for a moment.

It was a great group of people, and we all got along. Ok, to the story: She knew about my pie kink, and while (again) she wasn't a WAMmer, she thought it was great, and fun, if not a little odd, but her thing was to be bathed in oil (well Ok then, I'm in!), so she got that people were people.

So idly, she quips that maybe one day she'll surprise me in the shower with some friends and they'll pie me. I said "YES!" or something, not believing that it would actually happen.

Ahahaha, I underestimated her. One day, after class, she suckered me into taking a shower in the arts building, where the dance rooms were located. These were communal showers, 6 shower heads or so, a small room but effective. You locked your stuff in a locker, grabbed a towel, hung it on a hook and showered with 5 of your closest schoolmates, so I supposed. Anyway, I'm in there, under the water, when she walked in, naked, and joined me. Mmmm, so far so good, loving this! Before long, I'm hard as a rock (TMI sorry gang), and she's grinning at the effect she's had on me. (She was turned on as well)

She then yells something like "OK, ready!" and in walks two of our friends, also dancers, also naked, each holding two full-can-sized shaving cream pies. One of the friends hands my girlfriend two pies, and then dashes out to the lockers to pick up her two pies.

6 cans of shaving cream.. Uh oh. I think my exact words were "Ohhhhh. fuck."

(I wrote this up as a story once, where we all ended up having sex together. That didn't happen, though I did have 3 sets of hands all over me after I'd been pied, and my girlfriend and I did have sex.)

Anyway, they taunted, teased, definitely had their fun tormenting me, until they finally let me have it. I mayyyy have asked for it, you know, it's hard not to say "let me have it".

Yeah, a bit of extroverted personality helps. Honestly, in Uni I was hit on, more than the other way around. After Uni, not so much, so I was a) spoiled, and b) learning the hard way. But, practice, and not taking the "no"s too personally helps.

(God help me if I got a crush on someone, unrequited. Oof, stupid child I was and miserable).

One more thing, for the "pics or it didn't happen" crowd.

I post pics, if and when I have permission, if I even have pics (most of the time, we're playing, not producing content).

The content I provide is fiction, or fictionalized accounts of real sessions, not imagery or video.

Here's some of my handiwork. The pic was made public on twitter, so (I hope) it's cool to post here.

I find that "pics or it didn't happen" stems from the same, probably unintended, cynicism or bias that this kind of thing just doesn't happen, and that kinky women are "unicorns".

Great pic, would be interesting to hear some of the background behind that session!

I do love your philosophy of play, silliness and fun - I suspect that's a big reason you've so many great anecdotes to tell.

Thanks! There are so many sides to WAM erotic interests, from abject humiliation through to my side of the canyon: play, silliness, and fun (basically owning our own humilation and turning it into play, under our own control). And the whole range in between.

And probably more.

The anecdotes.. I think I self-selected into communities of people who are, by nature, sensual and free-spirited. So we're all just (pied) goofballs, in the end, maybe.

The Professional Girlfriend.

Some time ago, I made friends with someone in the "professional girlfriend" business, generally catering to people who like to be dominated. She's very good at it.

And she's also loves taking a pie in the face, as well as giving one. I have no idea if this is a kink, or fetish for her, but I know that it doesn't matter. I didn't ask, and she didn't tell me. What she did say is that she loves getting pied, and loves giving someone a pie in the face.

And, she didn't get to do it very often, but did have some friends (and I assumed some clients), both men and women, who loved it as much as we did. Whether kink/fetish or not.

So, I visited her townhouse while I was on a business trip. We had tea, caught up on life, and eventually made it up to the top floor where, in a large room, she'd placed tarps, a table, and several rows of all sorts of pies: banana cream, coconut cream, lemon cream, and chocolate cream. We also had cool whip, marshmallow, cream cheese, and empty crusts handy to experiment with different consistencies of fillings.

I have characters in my stories who absolutely want and volunteer to take the first pie in the face. This is based on my friend here. As we talked about how we wanted to proceed (skits, we decided), she insisted on getting pied first. Insisted!

We did a skit, and she very willingly played the fool who gets it, and gets it good. I pied her, and she laughed very hard, and for a long time. The characters who react with enjoyment and uncontrollable joy and laughter? This is her.

In no time we were naked, and pieing each other tit-for-tat until we were both literally covered from head to feet. She had a mirror set up, and we had a blast checking out our mutual slapstick handiwork.

Anecdotal? Maybe. Not a unicorn? Well, unicorns don't exist, so...

(How'd we initially meet? As usual, through the community of artists and oddballs, and acquaintances made over time.)

your fiction appears somewhere else, right? And conversely, all of these postings here are recollections? (at least, that is how i am reading all of them...)