Hello to you all, I hope everyone is well. I haven't posted in a while but I was pondering something the other day which led to me asking myself a few questions about myself and this quite niche sexual preference of ours(wam).
Firstly I would like to make a point that we are all certainly individuals with each of our own personalities and probably many different lifestyles too but I couldn't help but think that we must all (or most) have other personality traits in common that simply could not be put down to coincidence but to our brain being conditioned in a similar way as we learned about wam. To break the ice on this subject I would like to give an example of something about myself which I strongly believe for some reason is related to me enjoying wam. As we all know being a wammer is about letting go and going crazy but in everyday life I am quite the opposite down to the point that it is probably borderline OCD, things like lining things up neatly and making sure things are perfect to turning the volume to an even number every time on the TV. I am pretty confident that this has never been discussed before but I think it would be interesting if there was a lot of common ground as it would gel the community even further. If I am wrong then I hold my hands up but I have got a suspicious feeling about this one.
Thank you for reading and I look forward to reading your replies.
This is a great topic JonJon. I do agree that there seems to be tremendous variation between individuals on why they prefer certain things.
I've spent hours pondering why I like to see attractive women get pied in the face. There is something for me about the quick transition from gorgeous to her being pie covered. It's important to me 'how' the woman takes the pie, and love a good surprised and fun reaction. I like to see the woman's whole face covered (at very least her mouth and eyes). And I love when she licks her lips, and slowly wipes the pie out of her eye(s).
Like many others on this site, my earliest tracings come from recalling seeing certain TV pie scenes and being very aroused by seeing them. As a kid in the '60s and early '70s, pie scenes were really rare, so I spent time figuring out how I could raise my chances of seeing pies. I'd have been extremely gratified (though stunned) if somehow, as a teenager in the '70s , I could suddenly have access to as many thousands of clips as many of us currently have.
The humor and fun in the lady's reaction is also really important to me. I am a very peace loving guy who wouldn't think about ever physically hurting another individual, and I especially respect women. Yet, it turns me on to see them take a pie right in the kisser. It's a fetish that isn't without some paradox.
My mom was a clean freak. She vacuumed, dusted, and cleaned the house daily. She was so OCD she'd comb the carpet fringe when someone walked over it. I basically lived in an issue of "Southern Living" for 20 years.
I grew up watching Nickelodeon in an OCD house, and any time I got dirty I was punished.
I've always wondered how many other wammers grew up in similar circumstances.
As a 35 year old man my home is devoid of clutter. Everything has its place, and I get pissed when anything is out of place. Thanks mom!
Facsinating stuff isnt it. I guess if thete's a full answer its lost in the depths of time and the unconcious. I'm a little bit OCD too, and I had quite a rough upbringing; very strict and controlled. It was my connection to nature that helped me through. Nature became the friend I never really had as a child, and I wonder if that very close, earthy connection to it, plus the whole rebellian side, was the root to my love of mud and mess.
I've met and gotten to know very well quite a few male wam fans and where I wouldn't say they were all ocd on neat and tidy, Haha the ones I've lived with quite the opposite in fact lol....I would say they are all deep thinkers, very intelligent, sensitive guys with a healthy respect for women. Just my 2 cents worth...
Oh and they all seem to love sci fi and top gear lol!!
IÂm not OCD. It is also ok to me if my environment is a little chaotic.
Overall I don't think that there is a definiteness like "if you are wammer; you also are ____". In psychology there are some "laws" like "people who bully other people must compensate their low self-esteem with that".
ALL people who bully other people have a low self-esteem? Of course not. There isn't something like 100%. And if you reach 99%, what about the 1%?
You can never be sure at putting someone into a certain box. In addition: How much do we know about reasons of a special property / mental disease?
We check people with that special disease and if there are common elements in their past we give them a meaning that sounds plausible aaaand....have found the "cause". Really? Again: What about the individuals with another background? Do this "other people" have incommon the same different background? Or do they all have different backgrounds among each other and what if?
I can't ignore the fact that there isn't a certainty in psychology of whatever. With the exception of one: The law of large numbers. No matter what you prospect, you will always have to deal with the minority.
Mmmmm....I question the idea that someone who bullies doesnt have something hidden away that they're unconciously cover up. But yes, everyones unique, and I don't think it's possible to put people in definitive boxes; the content of people's experiances are just so differant. I just find it a fascinating subject. Interesting to see the similarities.
Yeah, OCD tendencies. I just have an urge, every once in a while, to get messy. Usually when my life is hectic and stressful. It's also about the humiliation. I have low self esteem and have the urge to be "punished". I generally blend into the background, so if I get messy in public, it's a rush. I generally don't have the time and space to indulge, so when I get the opportunity, I try to take advantage. Psychologically I'm all over the map.
Its an interesting topic. And one which there seems to be minimal 'proper' research into. Sadly, we won't get an answer from a bulletin board discussion, but no reason why we shouldn't speculate.
I'm pretty certain I'm well clear of any OCD character traits - and anyone who sees the state of my house or car would probably agree! Nor was I particularly strictly brought up - it was the 70s, and I guess washing machines weren't what they are today, but nonetheless it was accepted that I might get a bit dirty or wet from time to time when out at play.
In exploring my sexual preferences with my partner the one thing we come back to seems to be a degree of social inappropriateness. Whether that's getting dirty in clothing that 'should' be kept clean, getting wet when fully clothed, going naked or getting wet in the cold, or even just wearing bare feet when you wouldn't normally, they're all turn-ons for me. But I guess even that doesn't define it fully - its pretty socially inappropriate to fart in company, but I don't get sexually excited at that!
Interesting topic, though. Good luck in narrowing things down.
While your OCD theory is interesting, I don't think that it holds true for many who enjoy WAM without themselves wishing to get messy- myself included.
I enjoy WAM that's used as a humiliating forfeit or punishment (obviously nothing too extreme). Some of my earliest memories are watching TV shows like Get Your Own Back and Noel's House Party and hoping against hope that a woman would be losing that week. This was long before puberty. I have some theories about the origin of this weird fetish in my brain but ultimately it's all conjecture- I don't think even psychologists understand these things fully.
Ultimately the thing about WAM is that it isn't really a unified fetish. There are pie fans, gunge fans, those who like getting messy and those who don't and so on. These differences make me question your theory that there's something we all have in common.
I have actual OCD, as in I take a sizable dose of Luvox on a daily basis and have been through several courses of behavior modification therapy. I don't really have a lot of hang ups people usually associate with OCD, though. My house and car are far from tidy and I'm fairly disorganized at my office, especially for a lawyer. Well, you might say I'm differently organized, since my system makes sense to me, even if it's not apparent to others.
My attraction to WAM comes a lot more from desire to dominate and humiliate women more than any desire to break out of a controlled environment. If we wanted to get psychoanalytical about it, it probably fulfills a need to have some control and agency in a world where I feel out of control.
It is interesting to see what people say. I am not ocd I like being clean and tidy. I am though very regimental and routine though if I am to be somewhere at 8 ill be there at 8. Im a chef so routine and timing is important to me however cos i work with food doesn't mean i like food wam. Personally i hate it apart from pies. No one decides to just like wam. People become aroused in wam but it maybe something within wam they like. I grew up with nhp , l&k, gyob and tss. I have always been interested about the risk factor of it all. The risk of not being in control of your fate. I remember reading a faq from a female model saying she enjoyed the risk of being gunged. I love a game being involved with wam the punishment for the loser getting gunged.
I can remember the first pies in the face I ever saw. It was Sharon, Lois and Bram. I was 4.
Clearly it must've left some sort of mark on me because I've had a thing for it. Nothing crazy, but I would get that tingle in the back of my head whenever I saw a girl getting a pie, or messy or whatever.
I also remember when I was in the last year of high school, so...2003 the student council had one of those usually lame Pie in the Face things and a couple of the girls got it pretty good, very shortly after I discovered Slapstickstuff from another forum (that forum just sort of vanished one day but I don't miss it as the website was obsessed with having everything 'G' rated, which was weird, but I digress...).
I eventually found my way here and slowly watch it grow as a lurker until I made my account. My tastes haven't changed much, I think I just like seeing gorgeous gals who have a sense of humour getting messy. I'm indifferent to nudity and stuff like that when it comes to this particular fetish. So I think my tastes have crystallised to what they are. I'm okay with it and I think literally everyone on earth has something gently bent floating about their head-space.
I grew up in the country, and I played outside and got filthy pretty much daily. My house wasn't particularly clean, nor was it particularly dirty... just "lived-in." I suspect my WAM genesis came one day when I got some mud down my pants as I went sliding across a muddy patch or riding my bike through every patch of lovely orange clay on every dirt road I could find. It's a very physical, sensual thing for me. With that said, my only "OCD" tendency (and note that as one poster said, what most people consider OCD is actually nothing like *actual* OCD) is that I definitely have my own "alternative organization system," and I will occasionally get an uncontrollable urge to clean and start disassembling things like lights and AC vents and appliances to "deep clean" them. Humiliation doesn't do much for me, I want the person I'm getting messy with to be having as much fun as me. I really think it's mainly about the physical sensation and the visual stimulus of seeing nice things getting ruined... probably explains why I like "house WAM" so much and getting cars muddy and oily.
I am perfectly normal in every way. Apart from that thing with the zebra and the aubergine, but that was a long time ago and I think we've all forgotten it.
Hi all, Well a very interesting post and an amazing response in such a short time, I guess it shows how interested we all are. It is interesting to read how many feel we are rather united, but that there is variety between us. I guess it is like food and drink , we can enjoy a genre, but the condiments are to each person's personal snd perhaps acquired taste. For me, it's mostly about the feeling and look, being covered and engulfed in thick gunge is my desire and it excites me, shall we say where it matters. The humiliation aspect isn't really the thing for me, but the sudden gunge deluge feeling and quick coverage like those game shows others have named had definite appeal. As to the why gunge and mess, well a very good question. I have like others fantasised since childhood and yearned to be on those TV kid's shows at the time. It's s bit chicken and egg, but fore I knew I somehow loved gunging before the shows I watched, so they are not responsible, more just a convenient medium to see the gunge and people getting gunged. I think for me it is just the tactile element and the visual aspect. I guess they are the same core desires and senses a 'normal' person also experiences and fulfills except rather than the touch and appearances of members of the opposite sex etc, for me the lusted over 'person' is thick green gunge, then said gunge all over myself or someone else. J
I actually have a PhD in Psychology...from the University of Cambridge, no less! That's a really good one, it's got clever people in it and everything! What it comes down, to, to me, is this: I love pretty girls, and I love seeing their faces covered in pie. I really don't think it goes any deeper than that. Could be wrong, mind...I have an inglorious history of talking utter b******s.
zozotown said: I actually have a PhD in Psychology...from the University of Cambridge, no less! That's a really good one, it's got clever people in it and everything! What it comes down, to, to me, is this: I love pretty girls, and I love seeing their faces covered in pie. I really don't think it goes any deeper than that. Could be wrong, mind...I have an inglorious history of talking utter b******s.
You'd think, on a forum where there are loads of pictures of cocks plunging into pussies and assholes and all sorts of other x-rated esoterica, that people would realize that they don't have to censor language...
HotWamHD said: I am perfectly normal in every way. Apart from that thing with the zebra and the aubergine, but that was a long time ago and I think we've all forgotten it.
KustardKing... is this like the thing with the egg whisk & wet celery from "Allo! Allo!"?
Hmm, I suppose having been flippant in my previous post, I should actually post something relevant...
I don't like to think of myself as having OCD... certainly anyone who'd seen my bedroom would think I was the laziest most untidy person on earth... but if I need to then I can be absolutely meticulous about neatness & following rules... so whilst my family thinks I'm untidy, I have a group of friends who think I'm "OCD on steroids" and in fact I hold a number of qualifications where people joke that the only people good at doing that "have excessive OCD and a photographic memory"... (so like many here I probably do have a form of OCD if not the "classic" definition).
I guess that WAM gives me an escape from things being too neat & regimented that doesn't get me shouted at by anyone (which would happen if I wasn't smart & by the book in my job etc)... and also fits neatly with my love of seeing a sexy woman bound and subservient (in a consentual environment)
For me, i grew up in the 90's so gunge and pies etc was often a punishment on kids tv shows. I remember almost hiding behind a cushion when the big klaxon went and the tank unleashed gunk all over the victim. As i got older i realised that wam was, for me, the perfect punishment that leaves no physical marks or scarring on the victim. Just like people who love tickle torture. Its a great punishment that has no actual physical hurt ( well not really). This is a natural half way point for a lot of people. There are people into being physicaly punished ( hitting, spanking, pain etc ) and those that really dont like it. So polar opposites. I think the wam humiliation is a middle ground for a lot of us. A way of punishing someone or yourself with a bit of fun. Its proven that when human beings start showing fear ( or near enough ) we lose some control and our mind and body start to release various levels of sexual activity, thus, making us sexually active when seeing someone/ourselves about to be humiliated or punished. Thats how i am. But for those with ocd, its a rebellion against cleanliness, for those who are generally not that turned on by it its just good fun, and the rest, well, are guys n girls who just love the feel of slime/gunge/pies going all over the soft curves of the body. Ive been studying the fetish world for 15 years and working out what makes people tick. Tis a very very interesting study!!!
HotWamHD said: I am perfectly normal in every way. Apart from that thing with the zebra and the aubergine, but that was a long time ago and I think we've all forgotten it.
I've not forgotten. Not by a long chalk. #neverforget
zozotown said: I actually have a PhD in Psychology...from the University of Cambridge, no less! That's a really good one, it's got clever people in it and everything! What it comes down, to, to me, is this: I love pretty girls, and I love seeing their faces covered in pie. I really don't think it goes any deeper than that. Could be wrong, mind...I have an inglorious history of talking utter b******s.
You'd think, on a forum where there are loads of pictures of cocks plunging into pussies and assholes and all sorts of other x-rated esoterica, that people would realize that they don't have to censor language...
There you go. Life's full of little surprises, isn't it?
Wow some really fantastic responses! The OCD mentions are above and beyond what I expected but I guess there is something there. One other thing I forgot to mention was that alot if not all people who are serious about being a part of this community seem to be quite intelligent. PHD's and lawyers, I myself am a croupier which isn't the best job in the world but I do use my brain.
This thread seems to trend heavily towards a discussion about how tidy/controlling some of us are IRL; an interesting contrast for those whose kink is all about rebellious messiness. (Obviously there are many equally valid but different motivations for wamming, like punishment-play). For what it's worth I'm also a meticulous person who likes sex to be filthy and chaotic. (You'll notice I don't mention OCD; I think Oscillator Slop made a fucking excellent point above about carelessly using a real disorder as a metaphor to describe behaviour which is within the normal range.)
I think it's great fun to find other people here who report the same traits as ourselves, but it's a parlour game; it's not giving us evidence about the psychology of WAM, just anecdotal information. That's a splendid end in itself, so don't read this as a criticism anybody. It's always really lovely to read a post by another user and think 'I could have written that!'. Imagine the venn diagrams parcelling us up: 'wammers who love rebellious mess' subsection 'wammers who love rebellious mess but are normally tidy' subsection 'wammers who love rebellious mess but are normally tidy who had restrictive upbringings'. In all the tight angles we'll find people we have loads in common with. That's wonderful; as Jonjon says, it helps gel the community together.
This isn't the same thing as discovering the psychology of WAM. However, with threads like this we aredisplaying a recognisable and interesting psychological phenomenon:
Confirmation bias.
Good old confirmation bias. In short it means uncritically seeking and favouring evidence which supports your preconceptions. In this case we have a theory that people with the same fetish will share other essential traits across the group in a pattern that's significant. Let's look for evidence of that - I bet we'll find LOTS!!
We tangle with confirmation bias in myriad ways every time we try to define the essence of our kinks or pin-down our 'origin stories'. If you're done wanking for the night but you're still awake, you can read all about it here:
http://skepdic.com/confirmbias.html
I strongly suspect we wammers are as different and as similar as any other group of several thousand humans. People are generally much more similar than we imagine. We're always surprised when we find we have exactly the same traits or motivations as others but we discover such surprising common ground all the bloody time.
Hope I haven't pissed on the parade.
Marion
PS: Clinton, I loved reading that observation! The phenomenon is called 'Selective Attention'. My eyes do the same thing with the word 'bath' in blocks of text even when it's not preceded by the word 'mud'.