I'm talking about the pies you can find next tot he ice cream, next to the cool whip and the frozen crusts: Marie Callendar type, boxed pies. (NOT the pies from the baker section, although I have a small question about those at the end)

I got a "frozen" pie and made the mistake of keeping it in the cold until deciding to use it, whcacking myself in the face- No real reults to speak of. So my question-

What's the proper method to using "boxed pies" you can buy in the desert area of the frozen goods section? Which pies are the best to use, and what's the best way to use them? Which brands should be avoided and which ones get the job done when properly prepared? What doe the preparation entail, if I wanted a real cream pie that splat like one out of a classic comedy?

On an earlier note- Is there any preparation necessary for the pies sold by the grocery' store's own bakery? They seem "ready to go" as it were, especially if they're not in a refrigerated case. If they do come from a refrigerated case, is there a waiting period for those like the boxed pies? What' a safe way to test the consistency of the pie without ruining it completely?

So, I do not recommend those store bought pies in the bakery section. I assume your goal is to get as messy as possible. They pack those pies with so much preservatives. That's why they can afford to have it sitting out on the tables without freezing or refrigerating it. It's not terrible and can be thrilling for first-time wammers. But if your goal is to get messy with a big sloppy pie, you're going to be sadly discouraged by the lack of anything. (The same applies to cakes.)

As for the frozen pies, I've never actually used those. I tend to go for the store brand frozen shells in packs of 2. (Store brand because they're cheaper) I put them in the oven. Usually 4 at a time. Pack it with plenty of filling and top with whatever cream you like. Honestly, my favorite way to make pies.

Hope that helps a little!

I like the Marie Calendars.Like to transfer it to clear cover when frozen for best effect when throwing. I just leave them out to come up to room temperature. Usually a good 24 hours.

What Jewel said. Love a Marie Callendar banana cream or chocolate cream (coconut is fun too but the shavings get caught in my beard). Just give yourself a full 24 hours to leave them out at room temp so they're both defrosted and not too cold.

Agreed about Marie Calendars. A little less expensive, but not as easy to find, are Great Value (Walmart) brand cream pies. Some restaurant supply stores also carry Sara Lee/Chef Pierre frozen cream pies. They are excellent if you can find them. For any brand, I put them in the refrigerator as soon as I get them and then leave them on the counter overnight before using them the next day.