Here's my view: It shouldn't be called co-ed if the woman isn't at least getting a messy bear-hug from the guy afterward, if not being pushed back into the mess she missed out on. She participated, sure; but if she isn't even doing her own laundry after the scene before going home, then she might as well have been holding the camera, and that's just not "co-ed" enough in my books. Some people need to build up the courage to becoming the "intended target", I get that, so if I know that the woman is a "WAM virgin", it makes sense that she might want to see how things go as the "giver", rather than a first-round "taker". However, after that, she needs to make a choice: In or out? If a "wallflower" chooses to continuously sit out the dance, I don't think they get credited with participating any more than the decorator.

For me, the way the scene plays out matters more to me than the fact that it's co-ed. To me, wam has always been about the fun of getting messy and playing around in your mess of choice (and the more erotic and naughty activities of course), so everyone having fun and getting in on it is of the utmost importance. I rarely enjoy wam content that's one-sided, especially if it's playing into the humiliation theme. But to each their own.