I get opportunities for indoor mess very rarely now, and I don't currently know a good daytime mud place. Plenty of places for nighttime fun, but I recognise that's perhaps only for the nutters like me! My experience with UMD has been really disappointing. Lots of people making very eager noises, but less eager when it comes to actually acting on it.
If I'm honest I can say maybe I was a bit like that to begin with; owning myself as bisexual took a while. It feels crap when hopes are dashed, I've had a lot of that myself.
I find it strange that this forum seems so resistant to meetups. I've had much more success with fabguys.com so that's where I put my energy nowadays.

I've had luck. I know a couple of guys who I just talk with occasionally about WAM stuff, and I've met up with a girl for a few WAM sessions when I had a job where I traveled a ton. I also met another girl on Fetlife who I do role play chats with.

There are kinky women out there, some on this site, but a lot of them keep a very low profile. I'm pretty sure every woman who posts on here and every other fetish site gets absolutely hounded and spammed by horny dudes with no impulse control. It helps to talk to people like they're normal people and you're just going out to get drinks or something.