OK, this is probably a weird question and an even weirder explanation. I'll try to be as clear as I can be. I do watch WAM videos relatively often and mostly do so to get some kind of idea of what I want to do with my wife, although she doesn't watch unless I'm trying to show her an idea.

My wife had never even heard of WAM, pies, slime, etc. before we got together other than from Nickelodeon and even that she thought was "just silly". When my wife and I started to WAM together, it was made pretty clear to her that I don't engage in "self-WAM". That was being said for her benefit and for the fact that it's true. I don't like getting messy by myself. I will occasionally engage in wetlook by myself, but that is usually because I am already needing to hand wash the items in question and usually results in me just showering in whatever items I need to wash. Now, here's where it gets a little weird. I love to watch her sit on pies and I absolutely love to smash pies against her tits, which usually results in both of us getting messy because she insists that "if I'm going to sit on that pie, it better be on your lap". She refuses to be pied in the face or get her hair messy most of the time though which mostly I'm fine with, even if a little disappointed in not being able to get her gorgeous hair messy. We have also started many a WAM session with me surprising her by having stuffed as much pudding into my pants/underwear as possible before having her get on top of me and "dry humping" me until the pudding comes oozing out all over us. The strange part for me of the surprise WAM sessions is that it still feels like self WAM and I am not usually into getting messy that way, but there is just something so sexy about the way she gets more and more turned on by the pudding cover her body and mine. I don't know, it just feels awkward at times to fill my own pants like that. Like, what if she doesn't want to "fool around" at the time? Now I'm just stuck there with pants full of mess and hating it?

Wetlook comes so natural to her though and we both love it. She's always down to soak her clothes, even the formal stuff as she showed me recently by hopping right into the shower at the hotel following a wedding in my family and asking me to get in with her and soak her.

So, the question for all of us beautiful weirdos is this.... Am I just being weird in not liking the "self" wam aspect, but still wanting to surprise her? I want there to be spontaneity in our relationship, but I hate the idea of being turned down and it being a waste of supplies because I would just end up going to clean myself off rather than enjoy the fact that I have a mess.

Thanks for reading and, if you choose to do so, replying.

You've summed up this fetish there - everyone has different things that turn them on and no, you're not weird acting like that. I experimented with self-wam when I was younger but it didnt (and still doesn't really) do it for me. I'll often try a new substance on myself first before I do what really turns me on which is pour it all over my wife, but that's for our mutual benefit rather than my own gratification really.

Likewise self wamming doesn't really do anything for me. Though like wammtomm I also sometimes test substances out on myself before using them with my wife.

One thing I have come to enjoy more and more though is being messed up by my wife. This started really only from a sense of being fair - if I was going to get her messy she should be allowed to get me messy too. But now though it's something I really look forward to, and we'll even have sessions where only I get messy and she stays clean. I think my pleasure comes from the fact when she messes me up she's clearly really enjoying it, whereas when I mess her up she's really just being good sport. My enjoyment therefore feeds off her enjoyment, which I guess is similar to you and the pudding down your pants SnakeEyes - neither of us would find pleasure in it without our wife enjoying it.

She doesn't enjoy getting me messy, which is interesting. She only wants it if we're both getting it. I guess that's a good thing, and I'm actually really grateful that it is that way for her and I. As for "testing" things, thankfully we are far enough along in our relationship that I know what she does and doesn't like. The testing days are long since behind me.

I absolutely *will not* get messy myself. The sensation makes me viscerally uncomfortable. But I love making a mess out of partners of mine, and they seem to enjoy it as well!

Definitely not weird. There are a lot of people who are into this fetish/kink that actually don't like to get messy themselves. Either it's because it doesn't actually feel that good to them, the immediate though of the clean up etc.

WAM is very much a tactile thing for me. When I was younger getting messy on my own was exciting, and felt lovely. It was hard though because of parents finding out etc. As I got older, it became more sexual for me, and as it did, the focus became increasingly on women.

Trying to find ways to get my girlfriend, later wife messy, explaining it to them, sharing it with them, hoping to god the loved it (they hated it). These where the things that became more focused in my mind's eye.

As things are now, WAM is very much like any genre of porn, it's something I watch, and can wish I could take part in, but it's just not a part of my life anymore. Yeah, I can masturbate (and still do at times) or cover myself in oil or pudding, but it just feels hollow anymore. That said, if I'm doing it in a session, WITH someone, I feel more alive than ever. My session two years ago, and the pictures you can at least still see, are evidence of that.

Wetlook is very much the same way, and you'd think generally a lot easier to convince someone, but alas, not so much for me.

It very much sounds similar with your wife. She wants to do it WITH you. I can't say for certain, but her getting messy without you too may feel like her giving you a BJ without you reciprocating?

One thing I've noticed is that self wam for me works when I'm doing something new

If I'm familiar with something I prefer sharing it with someone who also wants to share in it.

For example this scene always impacted me on relationships and wam
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3VZko8PY0A0&t=10s

That's actually a pretty good way to describe it. Reciprocity has been very important in our relationship.

You are not strange at all! Everyone enjoys the fetish differently and it sounds like you have some of tbe hardest aspects nailed down -- communication, trust and well-established boundaries with your wife. I personally enjoy being solo and with others but everyone has their own quirks.

The fear of beibg stuck with mess on you is very valid. Sometimes we prepare surprises for our partners that flop; a dinner that happens to be on the same day someone works late, a road trip that corresponds with a sudden illness or a sexy session derailed by one or both parties not in the mood. Your desire to surpise her despite your dislike of self-WAM can be seen as a testament to your attraction to her. Have you communicated your thoughts to her?

We talk about the surprises and such often. It is very rare that a surprise flops