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"Finding a messy partner."
Love you, too
Alright folks, I need some help here. For as long as I can remember, I've had my messy fetish, at least since I was a kid. I've had a couple of partners here and there over the years but we never truly explored the world of WAM. Recently, I saw a post here from a guy who hooked up with a BBW and they both had a great time with a few cans of shaving cream. Seeing that post brought up this huge desire to do the same thing, it's something that I can't seem to ignore. The problem is that I am a complete coward when it comes to meeting women; I have major self-esteem issues and my self-confidence has never been lower. I've even resorted to posting adds on Craigslist trying to find someone who wants to get involved. I guess what I want to know is how do y'all do it? How do you bring up the subject of getting messy without feeling like you're being horribly judged? It was different for me in the past because I had girlfriends that I could get involved with although it never really made it past whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Right now, I'm at a point in life where I don't want to be in a relationship, I just want to have some messy fun. Any and all help would be greatly appreciated here.
I am the one who pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
gness7 said: First thing's first: don't be ashamed of your WAM tendencies. In the world of kink--which far more people are members of than you think--WAM is remarkably tame. Messy, but tame. If you can't get to a point where you stop judging yourself you'll never give anyone a chance to accept you.
So before you get to the business of finding a messy partner, learn to be yourself. Got it done? Good.
To answer your question, it depends on who you ask. If you're thinking of meeting new women just for the purpose to get messy with...don't. Even if they like you, even if they're generally open-minded sexually, WAM is a very big ask from a woman you just met. Imagine a woman approaches you one day. You don't know her that well but she seems nice enough and you're on friendly terms. She asks you to partake in a fetish she has that you don't share--say...dressing you up like a baby and feeding you Gerber food from a man-sized crib. How down would you be for that? How about if you didn't even find the girl all that attractive?
What a lot of people do is get messy with their partner after a decent period of getting to know each other in the context of a relationship. Since it doesn't seem like you're looking for a relationship there's only one other way to go: a professional.
I posted a thread about my experience getting messy with a professional domme/sub at a BDSM dungeon. You might have browsed by it but in case you missed it, here's the link:
https://umd.net/forums/a-tale-of-a-session-with-a-non
Not self-promoting. I just think it will answer some of your questions. Something I can't stress enough when it comes to finding a professional to WAM with is please please please find a professional. I know you hinted at trying Craigslist which is just a wasteland of unreliable flakes, dangerous cons, and general nastiness. If you're going to seek a professional be okay to pay professional money with it. Consider it a premium for your safety.
Your question is "how do we do it?" The answer is there's really no trick. How do people find someone to mow their lawn? How do people find someone to babysit their kids? They seek out the service and go get it. If you need to strategize and scheme and plan to get a girl to do something with you, it's really not worth doing.
But to be honest, you need to do the work of getting comfortable with yourself first. If by some stroke of luck a smoking hot girl showed up at your door with a truckload of pies and a burning desire to get you and her covered with them you won't even be able to embrace the moment if you keep judging yourself.
So before you get to the business of finding a messy partner, learn to be yourself. Got it done? Good.
To answer your question, it depends on who you ask. If you're thinking of meeting new women just for the purpose to get messy with...don't. Even if they like you, even if they're generally open-minded sexually, WAM is a very big ask from a woman you just met. Imagine a woman approaches you one day. You don't know her that well but she seems nice enough and you're on friendly terms. She asks you to partake in a fetish she has that you don't share--say...dressing you up like a baby and feeding you Gerber food from a man-sized crib. How down would you be for that? How about if you didn't even find the girl all that attractive?
What a lot of people do is get messy with their partner after a decent period of getting to know each other in the context of a relationship. Since it doesn't seem like you're looking for a relationship there's only one other way to go: a professional.
I posted a thread about my experience getting messy with a professional domme/sub at a BDSM dungeon. You might have browsed by it but in case you missed it, here's the link:
https://umd.net/forums/a-tale-of-a-session-with-a-non
Not self-promoting. I just think it will answer some of your questions. Something I can't stress enough when it comes to finding a professional to WAM with is please please please find a professional. I know you hinted at trying Craigslist which is just a wasteland of unreliable flakes, dangerous cons, and general nastiness. If you're going to seek a professional be okay to pay professional money with it. Consider it a premium for your safety.
Your question is "how do we do it?" The answer is there's really no trick. How do people find someone to mow their lawn? How do people find someone to babysit their kids? They seek out the service and go get it. If you need to strategize and scheme and plan to get a girl to do something with you, it's really not worth doing.
But to be honest, you need to do the work of getting comfortable with yourself first. If by some stroke of luck a smoking hot girl showed up at your door with a truckload of pies and a burning desire to get you and her covered with them you won't even be able to embrace the moment if you keep judging yourself.
Thank you for your words of wisdom, that really opened my eyes and gave me a new perspective and you're right, I do need to become more comfortable with myself before I can go out and seek this sort of thing. Immediately after reading what you said, I went in and deleted my Craigslist postings. I've got a lot of work to do on myself and that is what I intend to do. In the meantime, I can enjoy self-mess, nothing wrong with that. Thank you truly for your very wise words, that blog of yours helped a bit, as well. Hope all is well with you! See you on the other side.
I am the one who pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
gness7 said: Since it doesn't seem like you're looking for a relationship there's only one other way to go: a professional.
Yes. This.
Going for a session with an expert can even be a big part of acceptance of your own WAM fetish.
They won't have any expectation of you other than to turn up when you're meant to and pay them. They won't pass judgement on you.
It's no different than visiting a trained therapist for a massage, in that sense.
You might even find your eyes get opened.
Life's too short for bad pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
gness7 said: First thing's first: don't be ashamed of your WAM tendencies. In the world of kink--which far more people are members of than you think--WAM is remarkably tame. Messy, but tame. If you can't get to a point where you stop judging yourself you'll never give anyone a chance to accept you.
So before you get to the business of finding a messy partner, learn to be yourself. Got it done? Good.
To answer your question, it depends on who you ask. If you're thinking of meeting new women just for the purpose to get messy with...don't. Even if they like you, even if they're generally open-minded sexually, WAM is a very big ask from a woman you just met. Imagine a woman approaches you one day. You don't know her that well but she seems nice enough and you're on friendly terms. She asks you to partake in a fetish she has that you don't share--say...dressing you up like a baby and feeding you Gerber food from a man-sized crib. How down would you be for that? How about if you didn't even find the girl all that attractive?
What a lot of people do is get messy with their partner after a decent period of getting to know each other in the context of a relationship. Since it doesn't seem like you're looking for a relationship there's only one other way to go: a professional.
I posted a thread about my experience getting messy with a professional domme/sub at a BDSM dungeon. You might have browsed by it but in case you missed it, here's the link:
https://umd.net/forums/a-tale-of-a-session-with-a-non
Not self-promoting. I just think it will answer some of your questions. Something I can't stress enough when it comes to finding a professional to WAM with is please please please find a professional. I know you hinted at trying Craigslist which is just a wasteland of unreliable flakes, dangerous cons, and general nastiness. If you're going to seek a professional be okay to pay professional money with it. Consider it a premium for your safety.
Your question is "how do we do it?" The answer is there's really no trick. How do people find someone to mow their lawn? How do people find someone to babysit their kids? They seek out the service and go get it. If you need to strategize and scheme and plan to get a girl to do something with you, it's really not worth doing.
But to be honest, you need to do the work of getting comfortable with yourself first. If by some stroke of luck a smoking hot girl showed up at your door with a truckload of pies and a burning desire to get you and her covered with them you won't even be able to embrace the moment if you keep judging yourself.
So before you get to the business of finding a messy partner, learn to be yourself. Got it done? Good.
To answer your question, it depends on who you ask. If you're thinking of meeting new women just for the purpose to get messy with...don't. Even if they like you, even if they're generally open-minded sexually, WAM is a very big ask from a woman you just met. Imagine a woman approaches you one day. You don't know her that well but she seems nice enough and you're on friendly terms. She asks you to partake in a fetish she has that you don't share--say...dressing you up like a baby and feeding you Gerber food from a man-sized crib. How down would you be for that? How about if you didn't even find the girl all that attractive?
What a lot of people do is get messy with their partner after a decent period of getting to know each other in the context of a relationship. Since it doesn't seem like you're looking for a relationship there's only one other way to go: a professional.
I posted a thread about my experience getting messy with a professional domme/sub at a BDSM dungeon. You might have browsed by it but in case you missed it, here's the link:
https://umd.net/forums/a-tale-of-a-session-with-a-non
Not self-promoting. I just think it will answer some of your questions. Something I can't stress enough when it comes to finding a professional to WAM with is please please please find a professional. I know you hinted at trying Craigslist which is just a wasteland of unreliable flakes, dangerous cons, and general nastiness. If you're going to seek a professional be okay to pay professional money with it. Consider it a premium for your safety.
Your question is "how do we do it?" The answer is there's really no trick. How do people find someone to mow their lawn? How do people find someone to babysit their kids? They seek out the service and go get it. If you need to strategize and scheme and plan to get a girl to do something with you, it's really not worth doing.
But to be honest, you need to do the work of getting comfortable with yourself first. If by some stroke of luck a smoking hot girl showed up at your door with a truckload of pies and a burning desire to get you and her covered with them you won't even be able to embrace the moment if you keep judging yourself.
Wow! You covered a lot of points, and I'd say that's about as close to a perfect answer as a person's going to get! Great job!
Norman
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
gness7 said:
I can just see someone in his position doing more harm than good for his goal because he's not ready. That's why I suggest he gets his mind right and gain perspective of the situation before diving in.
I can just see someone in his position doing more harm than good for his goal because he's not ready. That's why I suggest he gets his mind right and gain perspective of the situation before diving in.
True. You make the very, very valid point that being certain that a pro session is what you really want - that needs to be there first, before booking.
My own personal experience here, if it's any help:
Looking back, it had taken me ages (and I mean it was an off again on again thing, with months passing where I rarely thought about it) to build up to the point where I actually did it.
Of course, since then, I'm like "Okay, so why I didn't do this sooner?"
I'm also one of the lucky ones, being in the UK where we're rarely more than a few hours from some damn fine pro sploshers. I appreciate just how fortunate I am.
OP, hopefully this discussion has at least helped you out.
Life's too short for bad pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
I'm no stranger to the world of WAM or to UMD, I've been visiting this website since I was 13 years old and I'm now 26. In the past, I have introduced most of my girlfriends to it and some enjoyed it and not so much for others. Part of my reasoning for creating this post was because I never have really reached out to anyone about it, I sorta bottled my thoughts up and I know that I shouldn't (it's become a terrible habit). Of all the women who know of my fetish, I'd say maybe 2 of them fully know the depth of what I enjoy, I never really talked about it much with all the others; I suppose you could call this post a call for help. I realize now that if I want to have a partner in this, I gotta focus on improving myself in multiple aspects and give things time. Thank you all for your words of advice, I really do appreciate everything that has been said here.
I am the one who pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
And by the by, once I run into a bit more money, I will look into paying for a professional, hopefully I can find one in the Denver area. If you know of one, let me know so I can ask about their prices.
I am the one who pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
helloboi1134 said:
Move from Colorado? I hated it there
But seriously I can relate.
How do you bring up the subject of getting messy without feeling like you're being horribly judged?
Move from Colorado? I hated it there
But seriously I can relate.
Colorado isn't the problem, I've lived here my whole life. My problem is that I've lived in fear of being judged for many, many years, it is one of several things that I am trying to work on.
Another problem is that I've never really felt that I've had anybody to talk to about this sort of thing, you know what I mean?
I am the one who pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
Piesenberg said:Another problem is that I've never really felt that I've had anybody to talk to about this sort of thing, you know what I mean?
You've got all of us here! Hit us up! I'll bet there are lots of people here, guys and ladies, including myself, who would be glad to talk to you!
Norman
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
Norman Mabeld said:
You've got all of us here! Hit us up! I'll bet there are lots of people here, guys and ladies, including myself, who would be glad to talk to you!
Norman
Piesenberg said:Another problem is that I've never really felt that I've had anybody to talk to about this sort of thing, you know what I mean?
You've got all of us here! Hit us up! I'll bet there are lots of people here, guys and ladies, including myself, who would be glad to talk to you!
Norman
Believe me, it helps out tremendously, thank you, again.
I am the one who pies.
Moved from Messy forum to Classifieds forum by booth
Piesenberg,
As has been discussed, you need to start with yourself. May I strongly suggest you pick up either the book or the audio CDs for "Mate", one of the authors is Tucker. It's funny and highly informative, and it will really, really help straighten yourself out. 100% certain.
I hope that helps. From there, if you're desirable to women, they'll find themselves being on the receiving end (willingly) in no time.
Wynn.
As has been discussed, you need to start with yourself. May I strongly suggest you pick up either the book or the audio CDs for "Mate", one of the authors is Tucker. It's funny and highly informative, and it will really, really help straighten yourself out. 100% certain.
I hope that helps. From there, if you're desirable to women, they'll find themselves being on the receiving end (willingly) in no time.
Wynn.
I travel to CO, fairly often and love first timers! I usually stay near Denver. Feel free PM me 
If not covered in frosting, are you really living?
Vagabonding17 said: Piesenberg,
As has been discussed, you need to start with yourself. May I strongly suggest you pick up either the book or the audio CDs for "Mate", one of the authors is Tucker. It's funny and highly informative, and it will really, really help straighten yourself out. 100% certain.
I hope that helps. From there, if you're desirable to women, they'll find themselves being on the receiving end (willingly) in no time.
Wynn.
As has been discussed, you need to start with yourself. May I strongly suggest you pick up either the book or the audio CDs for "Mate", one of the authors is Tucker. It's funny and highly informative, and it will really, really help straighten yourself out. 100% certain.
I hope that helps. From there, if you're desirable to women, they'll find themselves being on the receiving end (willingly) in no time.
Wynn.
Thanks for the tip, I'll look into ordering it some time soon. Out of curiosity, did you use it and if so, did it help you any?
I am the one who pies.
LaylaMoore said: I travel to CO, fairly often and love first timers! I usually stay near Denver. Feel free PM me
I may take you up on that, just sent you a request so that we can talk more about it.
I am the one who pies.
Piesenberg said:
Thanks for the tip, I'll look into ordering it some time soon. Out of curiosity, did you use it and if so, did it help you any?
Vagabonding17 said: Piesenberg,
As has been discussed, you need to start with yourself. May I strongly suggest you pick up either the book or the audio CDs for "Mate", one of the authors is Tucker. It's funny and highly informative, and it will really, really help straighten yourself out. 100% certain.
I hope that helps. From there, if you're desirable to women, they'll find themselves being on the receiving end (willingly) in no time.
Wynn.
As has been discussed, you need to start with yourself. May I strongly suggest you pick up either the book or the audio CDs for "Mate", one of the authors is Tucker. It's funny and highly informative, and it will really, really help straighten yourself out. 100% certain.
I hope that helps. From there, if you're desirable to women, they'll find themselves being on the receiving end (willingly) in no time.
Wynn.
Thanks for the tip, I'll look into ordering it some time soon. Out of curiosity, did you use it and if so, did it help you any?
For me women have been a combination of learning by doing, and semi-consistent study. But I find that particular audio CD set has a step by step as to HOW to be a man women want. Based on what you've written on this thread, I can think of no better self help information to work with. But you must follow it, too many people read the right material and do sweet fuck all with it, then wallow back into their misery as to why life continuously kicks them in the balls. I've given you the tools, now man up and use them brother.
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